Young Women 1

Published by
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Salt Lake City, Utah

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© 1992, 2002 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc.
All rights reserved
Printed in the United States of America

English approval: 2/02
Translation approval: xx/xx
Translation of Young Women Manual 1
Language
34823 xxx

Introduction

General Information

This course of study is designed for young women of the Church. By studying the lessons contained in this manual, each young woman should better understand the Lord’s plan for her and be helped in basing her personal choices and behavior on gospel principles.

Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled, “Teachers would be well advised to study carefully the scriptures and their manuals before reaching out for supplemental materials. Far too many teachers seem to stray from the approved curriculum materials without fully reviewing them. If teachers feel a need to use some good supplemental resources beyond the scriptures and manuals in presenting a lesson, they should first consider the use of the Church magazines” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1983, p. 93; or Ensign, May 1983, p. 68).

Unit teaching

Unit teaching involves repetition, in-depth study, and learning about related principles until they are understood and applied daily. This manual is divided into the following units:

Living as a Daughter of God

Fulfilling Women’s Divine Roles

Contributing to Family Life

Learning about the Priesthood

Learning about Family History and Temple Work

Being Involved in Missionary Work

Increasing in Spirituality

Living a Virtuous Life

Maintaining Physical Health

Developing Socially and Emotionally

Managing Personal Resources

Developing Leadership Skills

In teaching these units, assess the needs of the young women in your class by asking yourself:

What problems are they facing?

What previous lessons have they had on the subject?

What do they already know about the subject?

Which of these lessons best meet their needs?

When you have carefully considered the needs of your young women, study the lesson titles and objectives of each lesson to determine which lessons will best meet those needs. By planning well in advance, you can be sure that the young women will receive lessons in all units and that you will provide a complete, balanced curriculum.

Resources

The Scriptures: The basic foundation for this course is the scriptures. Encourage the young women to bring their copies of the scriptures to class each week.

Teach your lesson in such a manner that the scriptures will be used every week. If time is limited or attention lags, select only those references that will be most effective. Use scriptures wisely. Through your preparation they can become a powerful teaching tool.

The young women in your class should read individually from the scriptures during almost every lesson. Motivate them by asking a question or presenting a problem. You will probably want to write the scripture reference on the chalkboard so they will know where to look. Usually a question should be asked before a scripture is read. Otherwise, the young women will likely have to reread the scripture to be able to answer the question.

Sometimes a young woman may give the correct answer in her own words without turning to the passage of scripture. When this occurs, ask additional questions to get her to read the scripture; for example, “How did Paul say it?” or “What additional insights can we gain from this passage?” Before you can get the young women excited about searching the scriptures, you must become excited about them yourself. Prepare yourself through in-depth study, prayer, and meditation on those passages you expect class members to read and discuss.

Teaching Resources: Teaching, No Greater Call (36123) is a valuable resource for all teachers. It contains suggestions for preparing lessons; spiritual preparation; and teaching techniques such as role plays, discussions, chalkboard illustrations, and object lessons. It also contains ideas about controlling classroom behavior, setting up a classroom, involving class members, and improving teaching skills. Refer to it for help in preparing and teaching lessons. Other teaching resources include the Teaching Guidebook (34595) and “Gospel Teaching and Leadership,” section 16 of the Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2 (35903 or 35209).

Church Magazines: The New Era contains many outstanding stories and articles written for youth. The Liahona, which is the Church’s international magazine, also has a section of material for youth. In addition, the general conference issues of the Ensign and Liahona are useful in teaching young women (see lesson 50 in this manual for suggestions about how to organize lessons from general conference addresses). The conference issues of the Ensign and Liahona, along with the May and November issues of the New Era, also contain a resource guide for use with this manual. The guide includes references to Church magazine articles and other materials that can be used to update and enrich each lesson.

Lesson Format

Basic elements

Objective. This states the purpose of the lesson—what you want the young women to understand or do as a result of the lesson.

Preparation. This includes those items needed to present the lesson, such as pictures and handouts, and assignments that need to be made in advance. Most of the pictures called for in the lesson are included at the back of the manual. The picture number indicates the order of the picture at the back of the manual. The number in parentheses shows the picture is a meetinghouse library picture. The pictures should not be removed from the manual. Handouts and worksheets are usually included at the end of each lesson. Do not remove them from the manual. These may be electronically reproduced.

Note: Most lessons require scriptures, chalk, and chalkboard.

Suggested Lesson Development. Left margin notations suggest teaching methods, and the main body of the lesson presents the information to be taught. From the information provided, select those materials and methods best suited to meet the needs of your young women in the time available. (When appropriate, lessons may be extended to more than one class period.)

Introduction. This is a suggested way to begin the lesson and gain class members’ attention and interest.

Subheads. The individual sections of the lesson contain the main ideas. Teach each section using the scriptures, stories, quotations, and activities provided.

Conclusion. This gives a summary of the lesson and suggests a sharing of feelings about the principle discussed and a testimony of that gospel principle.

Lesson Application. This is a suggestion for a specific plan of action, assignment, or goal to help each young woman use the discussed principle in her life. (When appropriate, you could provide time at the beginning of the next class period for the young women to share their experiences. You may stimulate this brief exchange by saying, “Last week we talked about . Did you try it? How did you feel about it?” If the young women do not respond at first, you may say, “I tried it, and this was my experience.” By sharing your positive experiences, you can help the young women learn how to apply the principles in their lives.)

Suggested Activities. These are related activities that may be planned to expand and reinforce a lesson.

Teaching Young Women

You are teaching young women, not just teaching lessons! Pray earnestly for inspiration to help them learn and reach their full potential as daughters of God.

Effective teaching includes knowing each young woman, her parents, and her family.

Think about each young woman. Think about her family.

Value and see every young woman as Heavenly Father does.

Accept each one at her own level and help her grow in the gospel.

Learn about each young woman by asking yourself:

What are her interests, desires, talents and goals?

What is her background and experience: At home? At church? At school? At work? With her peers?

What are her needs?

How can I help her?

The best way to help each young woman is to help her learn and live the gospel. President Marion G. Romney counseled: “Learning the gospel from the written word, however, is not enough. It must also be lived. As a matter of fact, getting a knowledge of the gospel and living it are interdependent. They go hand in hand. One cannot fully learn the gospel without living it. A knowledge of the gospel comes by degrees: one learns a little, obeys what he learns; learns a little more and obeys that. This cycle continues in an endless round. Such is the pattern by which one can move on to a full knowledge of the gospel” (“Records of Great Worth,” Ensign, Sept. 1980, p. 4).

Special Guidelines for Involving Members with Disabilities

When Jesus commenced his mortal ministry, he entered the synagogue in his hometown of Nazareth on the Sabbath day and stood up to read.

“And there was delivered unto him the book of the prophet Esaias. And when he had opened the book, he found the place where it was written, The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised” (Luke 4:17–18).

Throughout his ministry, the Savior gave high priority to those needing special help. Although a teacher in the Church classroom will not usually have the technical training or facilities to give professional assistance to members with disabilities, it is expected that each instructor in the Church will have an understanding and caring heart and a desire to include these members whenever possible in all the learning activities of the class. Types of members needing special attention include those with mental, hearing, sight, physical, speech, cultural (and language), emotional, social, age, and learning disabilities. The following guidelines should be helpful to every teacher in reaching these members with special needs.

Know the needs and abilities of each class member. Check with priesthood leaders, parents, and family members and, when appropriate, with the members themselves to determine their special needs.

Before calling on class members to read, give a talk, or pray, check with them in advance by asking, “How do you feel about reading in class, praying in public, and so forth?”

Try to maximize the involvement and learning of members with disabilities.

Be certain that every effort is made to ensure that each class member gives due respect and understanding to every other class member.

Be natural, friendly, and warm. Each of us is a child of God with a need for love and understanding, regardless of any disability or its severity.

Teachers in the Church must remember that each member, regardless of physical, mental, emotional, or social capacity, has marvelous potential for growth toward ultimate godhood. We have an obligation to make a special effort, if necessary, to teach them all that they are capable of learning. Remember the words of the Savior, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:40).

For additional guidelines, see pages 310–14 in “Gospel Teaching and Leadership,” section 16 of the Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2 (35903 or 35209).

Living as a Daughter of God

Lesson 1

A Daughter of God

Objective

Each young woman will more clearly understand her unique relationship to her Heavenly Father.

Preparation

Picture 1, A Father and Daughter, located at the end of the manual.

Prepare a poster with the words Daughter of God written on it.

Assign a young woman to prepare a musical reading of “O My Father” (Hymns, no. 292).

Prepare a handout for each young woman with the two quotations from the end of the section “You Were and Are Loved.”

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction: Who Are You?

Class introductions

Begin this class period by introducing yourself, and then allow each young woman to do the same. During the introductions, encourage each young woman to share a fact about herself that makes her unique in her family or among her friends. After the introductions, ask the young women to think about the relationships in their lives. Point out that each young woman has different relationships and that because she is unique, her contributions to these relationships are also unique. Then explain that the young women also have similar relationships. Each young woman is a daughter and has a mother and father, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on.

Every Young Woman Is a Daughter of God

Picture and chalkboard discussion

After the introductions have been completed, point out that not every young woman had the same relationships (for example, some may not have sisters or cousins) but that all have had a mother and father, and so all of them are daughters. Tell them that you are now going to focus on one of these relationships: the father-daughter relationship.

Display the picture of a father and daughter.

Ask each class member to try to imagine what an ideal father and daughter relationship would be like. Have the young women tell what the father would do to make the relationship successful. List the responses on the chalkboard under the title “Father” and direct the discussion to obtain the kinds of information shown on the sample chalkboard illustration that follows.

Then ask the class to explain what the daughter would do to encourage this ideal relationship between father and daughter. Again, direct the discussion and then record the answers on the chalkboard under the title “Daughter.”

Sample chalkboard

Father
Daughter

Provides physical needs

Shows appreciation

Listens

Confides in and counsels with her father

Guides

Is respectful

Teaches

Is obedient

Loves

Loves

Comforts

Serves

Is constant in the relationship

Is constant in the relationship

Teacher presentation

Tell the class that in addition to having the relationship of daughter to an earthly father, they all share a very special relationship—that of daughter of our Heavenly Father. Display the poster “Daughter of God,” or refer to the words on the chalkboard.

Musical reading

To help the young women understand that they are literally spiritual daughters of their Heavenly Father, ask them to think about their relationship as his daughters while the words of the hymn “O My Father” are presented as a musical reading. (This would be most effectively presented as a reading with musical background, prerecorded if necessary, but it may be read alone or sung.)

Summary

Referring to the hymn, remind the class of the love our Heavenly Father had for us in our premortal estate. He is the Father of our spirits; we are his children. He nurtured and taught us and knows us well.

You Were and Are Loved

Scripture discussion

Tell the class that the Lord posed an interesting question that caused Job to reflect about his beginnings. Have a class member read and discuss Job 38:4–7. Discuss this scripture and its relationship to each young woman. You may wish to use some of the following questions in this discussion:

What time of eternal history is referred to in this scripture?

Why did the stars sing together and the children of God shout for joy?

What answer should Job, or you, give to the Lord’s question, “Where wast thou?”

Quotation

“There is a God in heaven who is infinite and eternal, an everlasting, glorified, exalted Being. He has a tabernacle of flesh and bones. He is a resurrected and holy and perfected man, and we are his offspring. We are his spirit children. He lives in the family unit. We are members of his family. We lived in this premortal life with him for an infinite period of time” (Bruce R. McConkie, Making Our Calling and Election Sure, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Provo, 25 Mar. 1969], p. 5).

Chalkboard discussion

Point out to the class that every young woman was loved by her Father in Heaven in the premortal existence. His love is eternal and unchanging. She is loved now by her Heavenly Father. Have the class name some of their blessings that show that their Heavenly Father loves them. Go around the class at least two times, asking each young woman to suggest blessings she has received from her Heavenly Father.

As this activity is completed, refer to the chalkboard list of expectations for a father to meet in order to be part of a successful father-daughter relationship. Through discussing the blessings suggested by the class, point out the ways in which our Heavenly Father shows his love for each of his daughters.

Scriptures

Ask the young women to find and read the following scriptural references, which show that in addition to the blessings they have already named, our Heavenly Father has promised us great blessings to meet our needs.

John 14:16–18 (comfort)

Jacob 4:10 (guidance and counsel)

Matthew 7:7–11 (help with solving problems, understanding)

John 3:16 (God’s greatest evidence of his love)

Ask the class members to explain why it is important to understand that we are daughters of our Heavenly Father.

Quotations

After the class has responded, have the following two quotations read to the class:

“The truth is . . . man is a child of God—a God in embryo. . . . That man is a child of God is the most important knowledge available to mortals” (Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1973, p. 136; or Ensign, July 1973, p. 14).

“I would charge you to say again and again to yourselves, . . . ‘I am [a son or daughter] of God’ and by so doing begin today to live closer to those ideals which will make your life happier and more fruitful because of an awakened realization of who you are” (Harold B. Lee, in Conference Report, Oct. 1973, p. 10; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, p. 6).

Handout

Give a handout containing the above quotations to each class member. Encourage the young women to memorize these quotations and apply them regularly in their lives.

Heavenly Father Desires Us to Draw Closer to Him

Teacher presentation

Explain that from the scriptures and our prophets, we have learned that each of us is a child of our Heavenly Father. We lived with him, and he loves us. Also from the scriptures and from the blessings we have named as a class, we are aware of the evidence Heavenly Father has given us of his desire to have a good relationship with each of his daughters.

Discussion

Have the young women suggest what they can do to show their desire to continue in and improve their relationship with their Heavenly Father.

Refer to the chalkboard list of things a daughter can do in a father-daughter relationship. Ask the following questions to show how the same qualities are used in developing and maintaining a relationship with our Heavenly Father.

How do we show appreciation to our Heavenly Father? (By being obedient, by showing gratitude.)

How do we confide in and counsel with our Heavenly Father? (In prayer.)

Explain that sometimes a young woman can become frustrated because her prayers seem unanswered. But our Father in Heaven in his wisdom allows us to struggle with many of our problems for a time, prodding and guiding us where necessary.

How do we learn from our Heavenly Father? (By studying his word in the scriptures, by listening to his prophets, and by listening after praying.)

How do we show our love for Heavenly Father? (By keeping his commandments [see John 14:15] and by serving others [see Matthew 25:40 and Mosiah 2:17].)

Conclusion: A Divine Relationship

Scripture

Have the young women locate and read Doctrine and Covenants 88:63. Then point out that our Heavenly Father truly desires for all to come near him.

Teacher presentation

Remind the young women that they are literally daughters of Heavenly Father, and he loves them. By their actions and choices, they determine the strength of the relationship they will have with him. He will never turn away. As they do his will, praying for his guidance, they will know the path their lives should follow and be assured that they are daughters of God who are truly loved by their Father.

Lesson Application

Again refer to the two quotations on the handouts and challenge the young women to memorize this information and use it in their lives.

Lesson 2

Jesus Christ, the Savior

Objective

Each young woman will realize that Jesus Christ is her Savior and that his atonement makes it possible for her to be resurrected and live with God again.

Preparation

Before the class begins, display a picture of the Savior on an attractively arranged table to create a reverent mood.

Assign the young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

The Scriptures Testify That Jesus Is the Christ, the Savior of the World

Chalkboard and scripture discussion

Write Jesus Is the Christ and the following scripture references on the chalkboard. Have each young woman turn to the references in her scriptures. Read them together. Have class members mark the passages. Discuss each scripture thoroughly.

Jesus Is the Christ

John 3:16–17

John 14:6

Doctrine and Covenants 76:40–42

1 Nephi 22:12

1 John 4:14

Mosiah 3:17–18

Explain that these are only a few of the many passages that testify that Jesus is the Christ, the Savior of the world.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ Makes Salvation and Exaltation Possible

Scripture discussion

Ask for a volunteer to recite the third article of faith. Discuss with the class what the atonement of Christ is and what it means to us. Your discussion should include the following points:

Christ volunteered to give his life so that all people could be saved.

Christ was foreordained, or chosen, for this mission before the world was created.

The transgression of Adam brought death into the world. Christ’s sacrifice paid the penalty for that broken law and made it possible for us to overcome death.

Christ paid not only for Adam’s sins but for ours as well—if we obey the laws and ordinances of the gospel.

Because he is the literal son of God, Christ is the only person who could ever have power over death. He had inherited from God the power of immortality. Also, he was the only sinless person who lived on earth, having resisted all of Satan’s temptations. For these reasons, he is the only person who has ever lived who could accomplish the Atonement.

Because of Christ’s sacrifice, all people will be resurrected.

The prophets, both before and after Christ’s life on earth, have testified of him.

Write the following scripture references on the chalkboard:

Alma 11:42–43

Alma 11:40

Have the young women silently read the scriptures and identify the two important results of Jesus Christ’s atonement. (We can be resurrected, and we can be exalted or gain eternal life.)

According to Alma, what group of people will gain eternal life? (Those who believe on the name of Jesus Christ.)

Story

Ask the class if they have ever tried to imagine how it must have been for the Savior to take upon himself our sins. Read aloud or have a young woman read aloud the following account by Elder Orson F. Whitney:

“Then came a marvelous manifestation, an admonition from a higher Source, one impossible to ignore. It was a dream, or a vision in a dream, as I lay upon my bed in the little town of Columbia, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. I seemed to be in the Garden of Gethsemane, a witness of the Savior’s agony. I saw Him as plainly as ever I have seen anyone. Standing behind a tree in the foreground, I beheld Jesus, with Peter, James and John, as they came through a little wicket gate at my right. Leaving the three Apostles there, after telling them to kneel and pray, the Son of God passed over to the other side, where He also knelt and prayed. It was the same prayer with which all Bible readers are familiar: ‘Oh my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.’

“As He prayed the tears streamed down his face, which was toward me. I was so moved at the sight that I also wept, out of pure sympathy. My whole heart went out to him; I loved him with all my soul, and longed to be with him as I longed for nothing else.

“Presently He arose and walked to where those Apostles were kneeling—fast asleep! He shook them gently, awoke them, and in a tone of tender reproach, untinctured by the least show of anger or impatience, asked them plaintively if they could not watch with him one hour. There He was, with the awful weight of the world’s sin upon his shoulders, with the pangs of every man, woman and child shooting through his sensitive soul—and they could not watch with him one poor hour!” (Through Memory’s Halls: The Life Story of Orson F. Whitney [Independence, Mo.: Zion’s Printing and Publishing Co., 1930], p. 82).

Thought question

Are we ever indifferent to the suffering Christ went through for us? Do we fail to appreciate the two important gifts he gave us?

Discussion

What must we do to make the Atonement effective in our lives?

To Be Exalted, We Must Repent and Turn to the Savior

Scripture discussion

Write on the chalkboard: Helaman 14:13.

According to Helaman 14:13, if we truly believe in Jesus Christ, what will we feel motivated to do?

Add on the chalkboard: Doctrine and Covenants 19:16–19. Have these verses read aloud.

How does it make you feel to know that Jesus Christ has suffered for your sins so that, if you repent, you will not have to suffer for them?

Add on the chalkboard: Doctrine and Covenants 58:43.

According to Doctrine and Covenants 58:43, what will a truly repentant person do?

True repentance takes time and effort. We must show ourselves and the Lord that we have forsaken our errors.

Quotation

“Some people believe in instantaneous repentance. While you can stop doing something instantaneously . . . , true repentance occurs when you have demonstrated, through the passage of time, that what you resolved to do has actually come to pass and [the sin] is truly out of your life” (Loren C. Dunn, Read, Ponder, Pray, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Provo, 7 Mar. 1972], p. 4).

Scripture discussion

Explain that confessing and forsaking sin is necessary and vital. Some sins need to be confessed to priesthood leaders. But more is needed to obtain forgiveness.

What more is necessary?

Explain that the people in the following three scriptures were all repentant and seeking forgiveness of sin, and they all had a similar experience. Have the young women read silently as the following scriptures are read aloud:

Enos 1:4–8

Mosiah 4:1–3

Alma 38:8

In each of these scriptural examples, how did the people obtain forgiveness?

Teacher presentation

Remind the young women that to be forgiven for our sins, we must turn to Heavenly Father with faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ has extended to each of us two tremendous gifts. Resurrection is free to all. Exaltation, or eternal life, is conditioned upon our having faith in Jesus Christ and repenting with all our hearts.

Conclusion

Testimony

You may wish to bear testimony of the importance of Jesus Christ as our Savior. Help the young women realize his importance to them. Without him we would have no resurrection or hope of returning to his presence. Because of Christ we have not only that hope, but also the promise of blessings in this life through our faithfulness.

Lesson 3

Following the Example of Jesus Christ

Objective

Each young woman will strive to follow the example of Jesus Christ.

Preparation

Picture 2, The Savior, located at the back of the manual.

Assign a young woman to sing or read the hymn “Come, Follow Me” (Hymns, no. 116), or prepare to lead the class in singing it.

Optional: Prepare the handout suggested at the end of the “We Can Learn to Follow Jesus Christ” section.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Discussion

What does it mean in your life to follow Jesus Christ? (Explain that Jesus Christ is a perfect example for everyone to follow.)

Hymn

Ask the assigned young woman or the class to sing the hymn “Come, Follow Me” (Hymns, no. 116), or have the words read.

Jesus Christ Set a Perfect Example for Us to Follow

Scriptures

Have the young women read and mark the following scriptures:

2 Nephi 31:10

2 Nephi 31:16–17

1 Peter 2:21

The Savior asked his twelve Nephite disciples, “What manner of men ought ye to be?” Then, answering his own question, he said, “Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27). The same teachings apply to all young women. The answer is the same.

Have the young women read and mark John 13:15.

Chalkboard

Ask the young women to name some of Jesus’ qualities and traits that we can follow. List their suggestions on the chalkboard and discuss examples of these traits. Some of these could include:

Meek and humble

Matthew 11:29 (Jesus was “meek and lowly in heart.”)

Philippians 2:8 (Jesus “humbled himself, and became obedient unto death.”)

Resisted temptation

Matthew 4:1–11 (Jesus resisted the temptations of Satan.)

D&C 20:22 (Jesus did not listen to temptations.)

Loved and served others

Mark 1:40–44 (Jesus healed a leper.)

John 11:20–46 (Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.)

3 Nephi 17:7, 9–10, 21 (Jesus healed the sick and afflicted and blessed the little children.)

Teacher presentation

Explain that in all things Jesus Christ set the example for us to follow. We have been commanded to follow him. When we are obedient to that commandment, we will feel great joy in our lives. Refer to the list on the chalkboard.

Discussion

How can we show humility in our lives? (For instance, we can be obedient to our parents and to God’s commandments; we can place the needs and righteous wishes of others above our own.)

What are some everyday ways we can follow the Savior’s example? (You may want to have class members consider some specific temptations they have to overcome each day.) How can Christ’s example help you overcome these temptations?

We Can Learn to Follow Jesus Christ

Quotation

Ask the young women to listen to Marion G. Romney’s explanation of how he learned to follow the example of Jesus Christ:

“During my early teens a small book or pamphlet titled ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ came into my hands. . . . The question posed epitomized the desire I had had from my childhood. Countless times as I have faced challenges and vexing decisions I have asked myself ‘What would Jesus do?’ . . . As I pondered [that] question [I turned] to the scriptures in search of the answer. There in the Gospel as recorded by St. John, I found the clear and certain answer: Jesus would always do the will of his Father. This he himself repeatedly declared . . . ‘. . . I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things.

“‘And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.’ . . . (John 7:15, 16, 18; 8:26, 28, 29; 10:30). . . . Having learned that Jesus would always do the will of his Father, my next objective was to find out what Jesus would do to ascertain the will of his Father. Searching the New Testament, I discovered that one thing he did was to thoroughly familiarize himself with what his Father had declared his will to be, as recorded in the Old Testament. That he did this is evidenced by the fact that in his statements as recorded in the New Testament, Jesus quoted or cited scriptures from the Old Testament more than one hundred times.

“Finally, and most importantly, I learned that he communed constantly with his Father through prayer. This he did not only to learn the will of his Father but also to obtain the strength to do his Father’s will. He fasted and prayed. . . . It would seem that during his earthly ministry he never made a major decision or met a crisis without praying [see Matthew 4:2; Luke 4:2; 6:12–13; Matthew 26:39; Luke 22:42, 44]. . . .

“Relying upon the foregoing and companion scriptures, I decided in my youth that for me the best approach to the solution of problems and the resolving of questions would be to proceed as Jesus proceeded: foster an earnest desire to do the Lord’s will; familiarize myself with what the Lord has revealed on the matters involved; pray with diligence and faith for an inspired understanding of his will and the courage to do it. . . .

“The most satisfying solutions to problems and the best answers to questions that I have been able to make in my own life, I have arrived at as follows:

“1. From my youth I have searched the scriptures.

“2. I have tried to honestly face the challenge or question presented with a sincere desire to solve it as Jesus would solve it.

“3. I have, through diligent study and prayer, sought to weigh alternatives in light of what I knew about gospel principles.

“4. I have made a decision in my own mind.

“5. I have then taken the matter to the Lord, told him the problem, told him that I wanted to do what was right in his view, and asked him to give me peace of mind if I have made the right decision” (“What Would Jesus Do?” New Era, Sept. 1972, pp. 4–6).

Chalkboard discussion (or optional handout)

Discuss the five ways President Romney used to learn what Jesus would have him do. List these ways on the chalkboard, or have them prepared as a handout for the young women. Discuss how the young women could use each of these steps in their own lives to follow Jesus’ example by learning what he would have them do.

Summary quotation

“By following this pattern, Jesus lived a perfect life. We cannot, of course, equal his performance. We can, however, make greater progress toward it by emulating him than in any other way” (Romney, “What Would Jesus Do?” p. 5).

By Following the Savior’s Example, We Can Improve Our Lives

Teacher presentation

Explain that our following the Savior’s example in even the smallest things can bring great improvement in our lives. The following story shows how a young woman practiced the teachings of Jesus and saw improvement in her life.

Story

“Charlotte had come to a hard time in her life. She was filled with discontent. Everything seemed wrong. . . . Her friends were commonplace; her home unattractive; her own personality unlovely, as she was well aware. The problem was too much for Charlotte.

To obtain help, Charlotte went to Margaret Ames, a lady who was leading the kind of life that Charlotte wanted to lead. “Charlotte poured out the story of her heartache over her frustrated, unhappy life. . . . Margaret after a gentle word of sympathy said, ‘You can change all that if you really have the will to do it.’ . . .

“[To begin the new life, Mrs. Ames suggested to Charlotte]: ‘Live for twenty-four hours as if Christ were right beside you, seeing everything that you do. Then come to me again, and we’ll talk it over. Will you do that?’

“. . . Somewhat . . . doubtful, she answered, ‘Yes, Mrs. Ames.’ . . .

“It was late afternoon when Charlotte went home. She knew that she was expected to help get the supper onto the table. She went to the drawer and took out a wrinkled tablecloth. When she spread it on the table, she noticed several soiled spots. And here she had her first thought of change.

“‘If Christ were going to eat with us, I wouldn’t put on a soiled cloth,’ she said to herself.

“She got a fresh cloth. And with the same thought she brought in a small bowl of flowers from the yard. She put the butter on a fresh plate instead of on the soiled one. She cut the bread with care. . . .

“‘Company tonight?’ asked her father. . . .

“‘Just you, Daddy,’ smiled Charlotte. . . .

“Her mother, worn and hot, . . . sat down, saying, ‘I don’t know what’s got into her to fix up so just for us. I suppose she’s expecting someone to drop in before we’re done.’ . . .

“. . . ‘I don’t know of anyone I’d rather fix things up for than our own folks,’ she said.

“The family simply stared for a minute. That wasn’t like Charlotte. . . .

“In the living room [after dinner] Charlotte slipped a magazine out from the bottom of the pile and began to read. She had brought the magazine home herself, and she kept it [hidden]. After a few minutes she put it down. . . . ‘I wouldn’t be reading this if Christ were sitting where he could read with me,’ she thought. And she carried it out, and put it in the wastepaper bag. . . .

“[The next day Charlotte] went to work again. . . . She disliked her job very much. . . .

“‘Christ beside me,’ she thought as she walked into the store. . . . She said good morning smilingly to all she met.

“. . . She was even able to solve problems with rude customers as she reminded herself of how she would act if Christ were beside her. That evening she returned to Margaret Ames’s home to discuss the experiment.

“. . . ‘I tried it, Mrs. Ames, just as well as I could, and—well, it made everything different. I think I can see what you mean. Of course, it didn’t change the things that are bothering me. I’m still poor, and can’t go to school, and I live in an ugly house. . . .’

“‘Ah, my dear! But you only started the seed-sowing twenty-four hours ago. . . . Can you keep on as you’ve begun? . . . You have the [key] word. It is Christ. Fretting . . . doesn’t change things very much; but Christ does. Just remember to keep your daily walk very close to him.’

“‘I’m going to do it,’ said Charlotte” (Janet Craig, in Stories That Live, comp. Lucy Gertsch Thomson [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1956], pp. 34–43; quoted in The Latter-day Saint Woman: Basic Manual for Women, Part B [2000], pp. 7–8).

Discussion

If time permits, discuss what things the young women might change in their daily lives if they did as Charlotte and followed the example of Jesus Christ.

Lesson Application

Encourage each young woman to set goals that will help her become more like Jesus Christ by following his example. Challenge them to change how they do things as Charlotte did.

Lesson 4

Seeking the Companionship of the Holy Ghost

Objective

Each young woman will strive to be worthy of the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Preparation

Picture 3, Nephi, Laman, and Lemuel, located at the back of the manual.

Bring a handkerchief or scarf large enough to use as a blindfold.

Optional: Provide a large card (with a decorative edge) and a pen for each young woman to copy the chalkboard discussion.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Demonstration

Ask one of the young women to put a blindfold over her eyes. Turn her around several times so that she will not know what direction she is facing. Now ask her to point to something (for example, the north side of the room, the chalkboard, or another object). She may tell you she doesn’t know where it is, or she may answer incorrectly. With the blindfold still covering her eyes, have one of the other class members stand near the object you named and say in a soft voice, “Here it is.” Now again ask this young woman to tell where the object is. If she trusts the voice, she should be able to answer correctly.

Discussion

What does this demonstration show about our experience with the Holy Ghost? (Many times we are unable to see the direction we should go on our own because we are blinded by other influences. We can find the direction we should take by seeking the Holy Ghost. We cannot see the Holy Ghost, but we can hear or feel him giving us direction. Because the Holy Ghost will speak to us softly, we must be listening to hear him. And we can always trust the Holy Ghost to lead us in the right direction.)

We Can Live to Be Worthy of the Companionship of the Holy Ghost

Discussion

How did you receive the gift of the Holy Ghost? (After being baptized by immersion in water, a Melchizedek Priesthood holder put his hands on your head, confirmed you a member of the Church, and told you to receive the Holy Ghost.)

Teacher presentation

Point out that when we are confirmed, the Holy Ghost is not told to come to us. Instead, we are told to receive the Holy Ghost. Nephi said that the “Holy Ghost . . . is the gift of God unto all those who diligently seek him” (1 Nephi 10:17). Whether or not we will receive spiritual guidance is up to each of us.

Individual cards and chalkboard discussion

If you have prepared a large card for each young woman, hand the cards out now (see “Preparation”). Have the young women copy the following chalkboard discussion onto the card. They may want to hang the card on a wall at home for future reference.

Write the heading Worthiness on the chalkboard.

Discuss with the young women what each of them must do to be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. Write their ideas on the chalkboard. Be sure to mention the following:

Repent of sins.

Obey Heavenly Father’s commandments.

Pray for the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Ask in faith.

Forsake the world.

Live true to the covenant of baptism.

Be teachable.

Teacher presentation

Explain that after we have sought the guidance of the Holy Ghost, it is most important that we listen for his “still small voice” (1 Nephi 17:45). He may speak to us in words, but his voice most often comes naturally as a thought, feeling, or impression. Although this impression might be overwhelming to one person, another person might not feel it at all if she is not worthy to receive the Holy Ghost. We must be faithful and prayerful to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Picture and story

Display the picture of Nephi, Laman, and Lemuel. Then tell this story:

An experience of Nephi, Laman, and Lemuel shows how important it is that we be worthy to be guided by the Holy Ghost. Lehi and his family lived in Jerusalem in a time of great wickedness, when the city was about to be destroyed. The Lord wanted to protect this good family, so he told Lehi to leave the city. One of Lehi’s sons, Nephi, was very righteous. Nephi listened to the Holy Ghost and helped lead his family to the promised land. But two of Nephi’s brothers, Laman and Lemuel, were not as faithful as Nephi. They did not believe the Lord was guiding them, and they complained against their father and brother. They believed their father was foolish to leave behind their comfortable home and many possessions in Jerusalem to travel in the harsh wilderness. They even tried to kill their father and younger brother. Laman and Lemuel had no desire to do the Lord’s will. Their hearts were so hard and unfeeling that the Holy Ghost could not communicate to them. (See 1 Nephi 17:7–45.)

Scripture discussion

Have a young woman read 1 Nephi 17:45.

Discuss why Laman and Lemuel could not hear the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost. Point out that although the Holy Ghost had spoken to them from time to time, they were “past feeling” and could not feel his words.

Why do we need to be sensitive to our feelings in order to understand the promptings of the Holy Ghost?

Point out that the Holy Ghost often speaks to us by a feeling of peace or comfort, or his warnings may come through feelings of discomfort.

How can we lose the ability to feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost? (By ignoring them, by refusing to repent, by listening more to what others say.)

The Holy Ghost Can Bless Our Lives

Chalkboard discussion

Now write the heading Blessings on the chalkboard.

Discuss the different ways the Holy Ghost can bless our lives. Be sure to include the blessings listed in the illustration. If you desire, use the scripture references. Have the young women copy these points onto their cards.

Repent of sins.

Obey Heavenly Father’s commandments.

Pray for the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Ask in faith.

Forsake the world.

Live true to the covenant of baptism.

Be teachable.

Teaches all things and brings all things to our remembrance (John 14:26).

Shows us things to come (John 16:13).

Teaches the truth of all things (Moroni 10:5).

Bears record of the Father and the Son (D&C 42:17).

Is the comforter (John 14:26; D&C 42:16).

Reveals things to our minds and hearts (D&C 8:2).

Story

Tell the following stories to show ways in which the Holy Ghost can be a blessing to those who listen to him.

When Jenny got home from school on Thursday, she found her parents waiting for her. Her mother said, “Your Uncle Carl died this morning. Your father and I are going to stay with Aunt Margaret for a few days, until the funeral is over. I know we can trust you to take care of things at home while we are away. Call Sister Martin if you need any help.”

As her parents drove away, Jenny felt a little excited. She liked being in charge, with no one to give orders. She liked the feeling of responsibility. So she studied for her math test, called several of her friends, ate dinner, then settled down to finish reading a story for her English class.

By the time she got into bed, she was feeling just a little uneasy. She had never stayed overnight all by herself before. Staring into the darkness, she began to hear little noises. The harder she listened, the more she heard—creaking and cracking noises. Could it be someone trying to break in? Her heart pounded. She looked at the clock. It seemed like hours since she’d turned off the light, knelt for a short prayer, and gotten into bed. But, according to the clock, it had been only twenty minutes.

As Jenny desperately wondered what to do, she silently pleaded for help from Heavenly Father. Almost immediately, she remembered hearing a story about President David O. McKay as a young boy being frightened and praying for help. Difficult as it was, she climbed out of bed and knelt by her bedside. As she prayed, a quiet feeling stilled her frantically pounding heart. Getting back into bed, she immediately fell asleep.

At school the next day, Jenny felt rested and ready for her math test.

Discussion

What two blessings did the Holy Ghost bring to Jenny? (Remembrance of something she already knew, and a feeling of comfort.)

Story

“A heavy spirit pervaded the funeral congregation as the services for a young mother who had died in childbirth drew to a close. The eulogies had been eloquent, but many who were gathered there that day felt some bitterness. How could a loving Father in Heaven allow such a lovely mother to be taken, leaving behind a family of four little ones to be cared for alone by a grieving father?

“At the conclusion of the formal program the young father calmly rose from his seat and walked to the pulpit. ‘I sense your grief and concern,’ he said quietly, ‘but there is something I should tell you to comfort you. The first hour after my wife’s death I didn’t know how I could possibly stand it—how I could possibly go on without her. But then a sweet, peaceful spirit filled my soul, and since then I have had the assurance that everything will be all right. Don’t worry about us, we’re going to be just fine.’

“This same comforting spirit distilled upon the congregation. Everyone went home comforted” (Spencer J. Condie, “‘Thy Constant Companion’: The Promised Blessings of the Holy Ghost,” Ensign, Oct. 1980, p. 33).

Discussion

Let the young women discuss how the Holy Ghost blessed this young father.

Conclusion

Quotation

Read this statement:

“Whether it be an instantaneous protective act, a feeling of his words, or a reading in which one hears his voice, it comes from God. All of these are gifts of the Spirit to one who has received the Holy Ghost at baptism and is intent on enjoying his influence” (S. Dilworth Young, “How the Holy Ghost Can Help You,” New Era, Oct. 1971, p. 6).

Teacher presentation

Remind the young women that their ability to hear the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost depends on their faithfulness to the Lord’s commandments. If they listen to the Holy Ghost, his promptings can be their greatest source of comfort and guidance, a constant companion. We need never be alone when we are worthy to receive the Holy Ghost.

Lesson Application

If you prepared cards (see “Preparation”), ask the young women to take them home, hang them on a wall, and refer to them before praying at night. Challenge class members to actively seek the Holy Ghost to be their constant companion.

Fulfilling Women’s Divine Roles

Lesson 5

Finding Joy in Our Divine Potential

Objective

Each young woman will understand her divine potential and learn how to find joy in it.

Preparation

Invite an exemplary sister (preferably one who has married in the temple and has a family), who has been approved by priesthood advisers, to speak to the young women about the joy of being a woman. Ask her to relate some joys and challenges she has experienced, including some when she was the age of the young women in the class. She might tell about specific experiences and choices that helped her stay close to Heavenly Father and the blessings and joy that resulted. She should emphasize the joy of being a woman at every age. Suggest that she take about twenty minutes. Ask her to allow time for the young women to ask her questions and express their feelings.

OR

You may invite a grandmother, mother, and young married woman, who have been approved by priesthood advisers, to briefly express the joys of womanhood they are presently experiencing. You might suggest that they also mention joys they experienced when they were the age of the young women. Stress to each that she is allowed only five or six minutes. You might offer to time them and signal when their time is up.

If it is possible and you wish to do so, prepare a copy of the message from the Young Women general presidency for each class member and guest (see page 19).

Suggested Lesson Development

We Can Find Joy in Recognizing Who We Are and Who We Can Become

Guest speakers and discussion

Introduce the special speaker or speakers and explain that today the young women will be learning of their divine potential and the joy that comes from being a daughter of God. Tell them that they may ask questions and make comments after the speaker finishes.

After the talk and the questions from the class, express your appreciation to the guest speaker or speakers.

Teacher discussion and testimony

Express your love to the young women in your class. Tell them what you appreciate about them. Emphasize the importance of being happy now by making correct decisions and by following Jesus Christ. We must do that now, not at some future time when our present problems may be solved or when our dreams and wishes may come true. In this world of trials and challenges, that idealistic time may never come. True joy and peace are available at any time of life to all those who live as their Heavenly Father wants them to live.

Point out how the gospel guides and blesses our lives by helping us understand our divine roles and potential as women.

We Can Experience Joy at Every Stage of Life

Teacher presentation

Express your joy at being a woman and your belief that Latter-day Saint women can experience great happiness at every stage of life.

If time permits and the mood seems right, invite class members to describe some joys they experience as Latter-day Saint young women.

Conclusion

Reading and optional handout

Read a special challenge to each young woman from the Young Women general presidency. If you made copies of this message, hand them out now.

Our Dear Young Friends:

You are blessed and favored of our Heavenly Father to be alive today. The world is full of beauty and opportunities—greater than any other period in the history of mankind. These special years of preparation will be filled with discovery, seeking, finding, growing, stretching, reaching, and learning of God’s plan and what he expects from you, his daughter.

The same world is full of ugliness and evil influences. You will be challenged, tempted, thwarted, and attacked in every way by the plans and persuasions of the adversary.

Our Heavenly Father knows all this and knows you. He has confidence and faith that you will use these years of preparation in being an obedient child of God who can be molded and shaped for the special mission and destiny he would have you fill. Pray always, know your Savior Jesus Christ, study the scriptures, and think of specific ways you can apply the teachings in your life. Live to be worthy of the blessings of the priesthood, be happy, and walk tall with joy and thanksgiving in the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

You are surrounded by many who love you and want to protect and guide you—friends, your class officers, adult leaders, your bishopric, your parents and family, and above all Jesus Christ and your Father in Heaven.

May we be included among those who care and love you very much. We pray always that you will be blessed and strengthened in your preparation to live with your Father in Heaven again, for he has invited “all to come unto Christ” (D&C 20:59) “and be perfected in him” (Moroni 10:32).

Affectionately,

Young Women General Presidency

Lesson 6

Finding Joy Now

Objective

Each class member will feel the joy of being a Latter-day Saint young woman.

Preparation

Bring paper and a pencil for each class member.

Bring a small mirror.

Prepare a poster of the following statement by President Harold B. Lee, or write the statement on the chalkboard: “Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you.”

Assign a young woman to read the passage entitled “Creation” (see page 22).

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction: Reflections

Object lesson

Pass a small mirror among the members of the class. Ask each young woman to think silently about these questions as she looks at her reflection in the mirror:

What do you see in the mirror?

Is the girl you see in the mirror happy? Why?

Is the girl you see the girl you want to be?

What do you like most about the girl you see?

What would you like to change about the girl you see?

What are the talents and blessings of the girl you see?

What do you want for the girl you see?

Happiness Is . . .

Rating activity

Distribute a sheet of paper and a pencil to each class member. Have each of them draw a vertical line down the center of the paper and label the two columns “Long-Range Happiness and Joy” and “Temporary Fun and Satisfaction.” Read the following list of activities to the class, and instruct class members to write each activity in the column that they think best describes their personal feelings about it. You may wish to adapt the list of activities to suit the interests and experiences of your local area and class members.

Swimming

Eating a dessert

Helping someone

Shopping

Getting good grades in school

Praying

Creating something

Sewing

Walking

Caring for a child

Cleaning your house or apartment

Talking with a friend

Reading scriptures

Winning a competition

Reading a good book

Finishing a big job

Listening to music

Cooking a favorite food

Dancing

Telling someone about the gospel

After the young women have finished rating the activities, ask them to think of other enjoyable activities and add them to either column. Emphasize that the lists and responses will vary because all have individual interests and will not respond in the same way.

Heavenly Father Wants Us to Have Joy

Definitions and discussion

After the class members have completed the rating activity, have them define the following words: fun, satisfaction, happiness, joy.

Discuss the differences between these feelings and relate them to the young women’s ratings.

Scripture discussion

Ask the class if they can recall what Heavenly Father has told us about joy and happiness. Explain that the scriptures use these two terms interchangeably. After the recollections have been discussed, write the following scripture references on the chalkboard. Have the young women locate these references in their scriptures and read them aloud together. Emphasize that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and to have joy.

References: 2 Nephi 2:24–25; John 13:15, 17; Alma 41:10

Scripture discussion

Is this joy something we can have today, or is it something we will have only in the future?

Direct class responses to an understanding that the young women can be happy now and that they should strive for joy now.

Who is responsible for seeing that you have joy and happiness now?

To answer this question, invite the class members to find Doctrine and Covenants 58:27–28 and read it aloud. Emphasize the phrase “for the power is in them,” indicating that each young woman has the power to bring happiness into her own life.

Poster or chalkboard discussion

Read the statement from President Harold B. Lee that you wrote on a poster or on the chalkboard: “Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you” (“A Sure Trumpet Sound: Quotations from President Lee,” Ensign, Feb. 1974, p. 78). Briefly discuss the truthfulness of the quotation and how it applies to each of the young women.

Chalkboard discussion

Explain that even though we have the power within us to control our attitudes, we are often unhappy. Ask the young women to suggest reasons why we become unhappy. As class members respond, record the answers on the left side of the chalkboard. Leave room on the right side of the chalkboard to record ways of overcoming unhappiness later in the lesson. The following are examples of such reasons:

Disobedience to the Lord

No goals or purpose

Anxiety and fear

Poor self-image

Not accomplishing anything

Not loved or loving

Unsatisfactory home life

No friends

Loneliness

Self-centered

Poor relationship with Heavenly Father

We Can Have Joy Now

Chalkboard discussion

As a Latter-day Saint young woman, what do you know or have that could help you overcome each of these reasons for unhappiness and obtain greater joy?

Have the young women develop a list of things they can do to help them find joy now. Complete the list on the chalkboard by recording their answers, and have the young women record them on the back of their papers. Direct this activity to help them feel the joy of being what they are now—Latter-day Saint young women. Direct the discussion in a positive manner, emphasizing the following areas:

Each young woman is an individual, loved and valued by her Heavenly Father and by her family.

Each young woman has something to share that can help others.

Each young woman can develop her talents in a way that can bring real satisfaction to her.

Each young woman has the power and responsibility to change and direct her life into ways of righteousness and happiness.

Latter-day Saint young women have special opportunities and help to accomplish these goals.

Conclude that joy and happiness should become part of their lives now—not something just to be anticipated for the future.

Quotation

Have the previously assigned young woman read the following quotation to point out things that bring joy to an individual now. The world is full of beautiful things that can and should make each of us happy.

Creation

“In the beginning (but not really the beginning—only a moment in the span of existence that is always), I learned of a plan of my Heavenly Father for me and my spirit brothers and sisters. Himself exalted and perfected and holy, our beloved Father wanted us to have a chance to follow his path. His firstborn, our elder Brother, Jesus, would organize a world where we could live and grow and learn to love and truly care. It would be a difficult experience in a world of imperfect men and irrevocable law, and we must choose if we would follow him.

“And so, . . . I said, ‘Yes.’ And I waited for my turn.

“[Jesus] set about making a world for me and you, the Father’s children. And one day I left a place I cannot remember now to come here, to begin the union of my life with the earth.

“In the hazy brightness that is childhood, there was the first recognition of beauty—the smell of eucalyptus, the first encounters with sea and sun and sand, and fog—wet droplets on my face, a bee, flowers, and cypress trees bent strangely by the wind.

“And as I grew, so the world became more marvelous; and deep inside began the warm, sweet pain that is earth-love.

“[Jesus] made light that falls soft and silvery at night and makes shadow patterns in the wind—light, golden-blue, and gentle in the days of spring sun—and light that spreads its colors first faintly red to orange to golden, to dispel the blue-black that is night—sunrise. And I have eyes to see.

“And he made wind to rustle softly through a thousand leaves, glistening silver-slippery water to sing and stumble on its way to the sea, and birds to fill the morning air with soft flute-tones. And I have ears to hear.

“He made hands to touch in the bright warmth that is ‘How are you?’ or ‘I will help’ or ‘I begin to love you’; and eyes to speak, to see beyond the words, to understand, to discover.

“He gave me a heart that sees and hears and feels the earth he made, and deep within me earth-love swells to overflowing. He gave me tears of joy to shed.

“You have these things, too. They are gifts—blessings beyond our ability to receive.

“And someday when I have seen [Jesus] again and my Father has welcomed me back, I hope, with my mate, to be able to begin the direction of a world like this. And our children will turn in the cold sweetness of morning light to heavens of their earth with eyes that glisten with tears born of earth-love to say, ‘Thank you, Father’” (Ann Busath, “Creation,” Improvement Era, Sept. 1967, p. 56).

Conclusion

Testimony

Bear your testimony of the importance of being a happy person now and of the joys that can come from being true to the standards of a Latter-day Saint young woman. Be enthusiastic and encourage the young women to assume responsibility for their own happiness now.

Lesson Application

Have class members select one or two ways to help them find joy now. Suggest that they focus on these during the coming week.

Lesson 7

Homemaking

Objective

Each young woman will better appreciate the joys that can come from homemaking.

Preparation

Bring paper and a pencil for each class member.

Suggested Lesson Development

Homemaking Is an Important and Sacred Responsibility

Job survey

Ask each young woman to imagine that she has just been offered a job. As you read the following description of that job, have the young women raise their hands whenever a characteristic about the job appeals to them.

Job Description

You will accomplish something worthwhile that can affect the happiness of those around you.

You will help choose the working conditions and establish a pleasant atmosphere for others.

You will help control expenditures.

You will decide what work will be done, when it will be done, and how it will be done.

You will enjoy being around everyone in the entire organization and will have the opportunity to bless their lives and help them accomplish great things.

Discussion

What job has been described? (Homemaking, or a woman taking care of her family.)

Teacher presentation

Explain that homemaking is one of the responsibilities we have been given. Heavenly Father wants all men and women to give their greatest priority to their homes, their spouses, and their families. Our families are part of our divine mission.

Story

Invite the young women to observe the devotion shown by the mother in the following story:

“Perhaps like most teenagers, I have taken my parents’ love for granted. I never really considered the immeasurable amount of time, effort, money, or patience they spent on me. Particularly with my mother was this the case.

“It seems, now, that many times I resented my mother, resented things she stood for, things she asked me to do, things she told me about her childhood life. I resented the fact that I, as the eldest of seven children, had all the responsibility; or so I felt. It was up to me to set the example—a word I grew to hate—to lead the way, to try things and get into trouble so that, it seemed, the way was clear for the children to do just about what they would. I remember how I resented the certain tone of voice Mother used to call me to help her. Certain phrases stand out in my mind, and I can hear the tone even now:

“‘Kristy, help me with dinner.’

“‘The twins need their shoes cleaned.’

“‘Kristy, Sue and Gay are quarreling; can’t you do something?’

“‘Nancy needs some attention; would you read her a story?’

“‘I always felt like saying, ‘No,’ but, of course, I didn’t.

“‘Then September came and I went away to school. All my younger life the school had carried with it a romantic aura to me. It was there my parents met; there they fell in love and were married; there I was born. So I anxiously looked forward to going—for me—’home.’

“But at that time, in September, there was more to it than that: I wanted to get away from home—my real home. And yet, as time passed and I read my mother’s letters telling me about the day-to-day things she did, I began to realize, deep within me, that she gave all her time, money, effort, and thought to her children. I learned that all the meetings, all the shopping, all the housecleaning, all the teaching—actually everything—was directly or indirectly related to serving her family. And all this I learned so slowly and subtly that I barely realized the knowledge was there.

“Then one day I came home from my morning classes and found a letter from my mother. It was a simple, ordinary letter, full of the news of home. It told how Dave and Dan, the twins, had flushed a whole roll of tissue paper down the toilet, which flooded over just as mother was ready to leave for Relief Society. It told of how Mother simply had to find the time to give Sandy a haircut. It told of Mother taking Nancy to dancing lessons, and watching her, and being so proud of her.

“It was just a regular, everyday letter, but I had scarcely reached the second page when a feeling suddenly started within me and spread throughout me. It was like the sun bursting from behind a cloud, spreading its sunshine. I could all of a sudden see my mother as she really was—an unselfish, loving . . . being, the person who had done more for me than anyone else, and yet the person to whom I gave the least credit.

“I threw myself on my bed and cried; cried with the gladness of the sudden discovery; cried with the unhappiness of my ingratitude, and how it had undoubtedly hurt my mother. I quickly wrote her a letter and told her of my love and appreciation for her. It wasn’t a good letter, but it was a sincere one; and she wrote back just as quickly:

“‘Dearest Kristy, I read your letter, and I wept’” (Kristine Walker, “I Found My Mother,” New Era, Oct. 1974, p. 27).

Discussion

Why is it important for every young woman to appreciate and understand her mother’s role as a homemaker?

Teacher presentation

Explain that the joy experienced by Kristy’s mother can be experienced by each of us. The personal satisfaction that comes to a homemaker in knowing that she is contributing to her family’s happiness sustains her through her daily activities. When members of her family express gratitude, she feels even greater satisfaction.

Homemaking Is More Than Housekeeping

Teacher presentation

Explain that homemaking involves a wide variety of activities, all of them important. Of great importance, of course, is keeping a house clean and taking care of the physical needs of the family members. However, there is another important side to homemaking, as Sister Belle S. Spafford, a former general president of the Relief Society, points out:

Quotation

“Homemaking, as I view it, falls into two major divisions: homemaking and housekeeping. Homemaking takes into account the spiritual values: love, peace, tranquility, harmony among family members, security. It makes of a place of residence a spot to which family members can retire from a confused and troubled world and find understanding and rejuvenation. Its character is quietness; it evidences good taste, culture, and refinement. Men, women, and children alike have their individual contributions to make to good home and family life, and each shares in its benefits.

“Housekeeping involves the work of keeping a house clean, orderly, and well managed. This includes financial management, failure in which often becomes a source of family friction” (Belle S. Spafford, A Woman’s Reach [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1974], pp. 24–25).

Discussion

How are housework and homemaking intertwined? How can both bring rewards?

Have the young women describe a home where spiritual values are being developed. Have them also explain why skills such as money management or food preparation are important in creating a home where the spirit of God can dwell.

A Young Woman Can Be a Homemaker Now

Chalkboard discussion

How can you be a homemaker in your home now?

You may want to list the responses on the chalkboard. Make sure the list includes the ideas mentioned in the preceding quotation.

Small group activity

Divide the young women into two groups and give each group one of the following problems. Ask them to discuss it and prepare some precise instructions on how to solve the problems and accomplish the needed tasks. Ask them to mention sources of assistance. Provide paper and pencils for notes.

Task 1

You come home from school to find your mother feeling ill with a severe headache. The baby is crying, your two younger brothers are quarreling, and the house is a mess. Your father will be home for dinner soon. What could you do to create a spiritual atmosphere in your home? How would you go about it?

Task 2

Your mother will be gone until dinner time, and she has asked you to plan a well-balanced nutritional meal for your family of four. Tell how you would choose and prepare each item on the menu. Explain how you would plan your time so that everything would be ready at the same time.

Allow the young women a few minutes to work on the problems; then let each group present its instructions to the class. Let all class members contribute to each group’s presentation. Where additional information is needed, supply it yourself.

Teacher presentation

Explain that even though she does not yet manage a home of her own, a young woman is still a homemaker and can still improve the atmosphere of her home. The way she does this can bring great joy to her family. If time permits, you may want to tell the following story, narrated by a mother:

Story

“When Karen came home from college for a week’s vacation between quarters, we had many fun things to do together. We shopped, visited, confided in each other, sewed a new pantsuit, hunted for a summer job, and enjoyed several activities together as a family.

“Housekeeping was a bit neglected for more important things. Even the family room went unvacuumed and was left cluttered with sewing supplies.

“The week went by much too quickly, and at 5:00 that Wednesday afternoon her friends were to come by and pick her up to return to college. I had an appointment at 3:00 p.m., and so I kissed her goodbye and left, grateful that she would be there to greet her little brothers when they arrived from school and to care for them until her father arrived home from work.

“Soon after I left for my appointment, Karen’s friends called and said that they would be delayed and wouldn’t pick her up until 9:00 p.m. With her suitcase packed and ready, Karen found herself with four extra hours of time. She sat at the piano with Stuart and helped him practice; she sat on the step and visited with Roger while she helped him fold his newspapers for his paper route; she set the table and had dinner ready to serve when her father returned from work; and, enlisting the help of her brothers, she cleaned the kitchen afterwards.

“After her father and the boys left for [Mutual], Karen gathered up the cleaning supplies and the vacuum and turned the cluttered family room into a room to be proud of. Then, finding herself with an extra hour, she cleaned the bathroom.

“Late that evening when I returned from my appointment, I went downstairs to peek in on the boys. As I walked through the family room and saw the bathroom and kitchen, I felt a special pride.

“As my husband and I talked about this, we reflected on the fact that as she grew up, Karen had often been a homemaker. We remembered the times we would find her in the kitchen making cookies with her little brothers. We remembered that last Christmas she bought a piece of fabric, a pattern, and surprised me with a beautiful long skirt. I wear that skirt proudly. How that lovely girl with her happy outlook on life enriches our home.”

Discussion

In what ways did Karen bring joy to her brothers? Her father? Her mother?

How can homemaking bring you closer to your family?

How do order and cleanliness encourage family members to do their best?

Why is it a good feeling to come home to a clean house?

How does a well-kept home reflect the love family members have for each other?

How does homemaking add to the spiritual atmosphere of a home?

Teacher presentation

Explain that a home that is orderly and well cared for and that invites the Spirit of the Lord builds confidence and pride in the people who live there. They feel more comfortable and peaceful. It is also a place where their faith and testimony can grow. Such a home requires the efforts of everyone who lives there and reflects the concern that family members have for each other. It is a home that evidences industry and hard work.

Possible Class Activities

With the class presidency, you might decide on several midweek activities to help class members learn new skills and experience the positive aspects of homemaking. Here are some suggestions (get the approval of your priesthood leader before inviting a guest speaker):

Invite a specialist to teach the class how to replace a faucet washer, change a fuse, repair an electric plug, unclog a sink or drain, or hang a picture.

Learn correct techniques of minor clothing repair and hold a mending party with class members.

Invite a specialist to teach the use of color, style, and fabric in clothing, and apply this information to planning clothing.

Invite a specialist to teach what to look for when buying clothes and fabrics, how to read and understand labels, and how to care for fabrics.

Invite a mother to teach the class how to bathe, dress, change, feed, and care for infants and young children, including how to comfort a fussy baby.

Invite a specialist to teach the class about money management, budgeting, and credit buying.

Invite a specialist to teach about home decorating, including the use of color, balance, harmony, and proportion and ways young women can improve the appearance of their homes.

Plan and hold a special food event, such as a cake-decorating party, an international food fair, a breakfast party, or a heritage cooking night.

Have a recipe-sharing party where everyone brings a favorite food for the others to sample and where recipes are exchanged.

Hold a “creative-cookery night” by dividing the class into teams to prepare food from ingredients placed in a sack or box.

Lesson 8

Attitudes about Our Divine Roles

Objective

Each young woman will develop a positive attitude about her divine roles of wife and mother.

Preparation

Optional: Prepare handouts as suggested in the conclusion.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

We Accept the Lord’s View of the Roles of Women

Story and discussion

A traveler passed a stone quarry and saw three men working. He asked each man what he was doing. Each man’s answer revealed a different attitude toward the same job. “I am cutting stone,” the first man answered. The second replied, “I am earning three gold pieces per day.” The third man smiled and said, “I am helping to build a house of God.”

Teacher presentation

How did each man’s attitude affect how he looked at his task?

Why would the third man be the most likely to consider his job interesting and worthwhile?

Point out that we can have positive or negative attitudes about our divine roles of wife and mother. Some look at these roles as being demeaning and full of drudgery, but our roles are actually a part of a solemn promise that we made before we came to earth. They are part of the blessings that come to us as daughters of God.

Quotation and discussion

President Spencer W. Kimball explained that “we made vows, solemn vows, in the heavens before we came to this mortal life.

“We have made covenants. We made them before we accepted our position here on the earth. . . .

“We committed ourselves to our Heavenly Father, that if He would send us to the earth and give us bodies and give to us the priceless opportunities that earth life afforded, we would keep our lives clean and would marry in the holy temple and would rear a family and teach them righteousness. This was a solemn oath, a solemn promise” (“Be Ye Therefore Perfect,” address given at the Salt Lake Institute of Religion, 10 Jan. 1975, p. 2).

What roles did we promise to Heavenly Father that we would accept before we came to earth? (We would marry and have a family.)

President Kimball cautioned, “Do not . . . make the mistake of being drawn off into secondary tasks which will cause the neglect of your eternal assignments such as giving birth to and rearing the spirit children of our Father in Heaven” (Ensign, Nov. 1979, pp. 102–3).

Understanding the Value of Our Roles

Teacher presentation

Point out that the worldly view of women’s roles is false partly because it is selfcentered. It focuses so much on a woman’s rights to receive that it almost ignores her opportunities to give. The Lord’s view is a broader one. It focuses on the opportunities of both men and women to love and serve. This view can help us avoid being caught up in selfishness and unhappiness.

Explain that if we believe that life as a wife and mother is routine and boring, it will be. But if we can understand our divine purposes and realize the great potential we have, our role will take on greater meaning than any other task in this world. By cheerfully and enthusiastically supporting our husbands and by bearing, nurturing, and teaching righteous spirits, we can experience the greatest fulfillment.

Discussion

How can a clear understanding and righteous attitude toward the roles of wife and mother bless our lives?

How will the attitude we have toward these roles influence us the rest of our lives?

How can the teachings of the Lord and his servants about our roles help protect us from the dangers of adopting worldly attitudes?

Role of Wife and Helpmate

Scripture

Ask the young women to read Doctrine and Covenants 25:5, 14, 16, which records the Lord’s instructions to Emma Smith. Explain that this counsel to comfort our husband with a humble attitude can be given to all women.

Teacher presentation

A woman should never minimize the tremendous power of being a comfort and help to her husband. He may have need to be comforted and encouraged to perform his roles as husband, provider, leader, or teacher.

Quotation and discussion

When President Spencer W. Kimball was called to be an Apostle, he was overwhelmed at receiving the call. He tells of how his wife comforted and encouraged him:

“‘When the Church calls, we obey.’ But the predominant thought was my own limitations and incapacities and weaknesses and I was overcome. The tears came then, an inexhaustible flood. . . . I wept and wept. . . . I was in convulsions of sobbing. My wife was sitting by me on the floor, stroking my hair, trying to quiet me. . . .

“. . . My wife was my salvation. She comforted me and encouraged me and continued to say there was only one road to follow. . . .

“. . . I continued to tell Camilla that I was not sure what I would do, though I knew all the time there was only one course. She continued to encourage me and insisted that acceptance of the call was the only thing” (Edward L. Kimball and Andrew E. Kimball Jr., Spencer W. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1977], pp. 191–92).

Point out that President Kimball went on to become a great prophet of the Lord.

How was Sister Kimball’s role as wife and helpmate important in her husband’s life?

Teacher presentation

Point out that if we have the proper attitude toward our role as wife and helpmate, we too can have great influence for good in the lives of our future husbands, regardless of their station in life. We should never underestimate how important women are as wives.

Scripture discussion

Have a young woman read 1 Corinthians 11:11.

How can husbands and wives help each other?

Role of Mother and Teacher

Quotations and discussion

President David O. McKay said: “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by [a woman]” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1942, pp. 12–13).

How does this statement by a prophet of God strengthen our attitudes toward our roles?

How can understanding such statements from the Lord’s prophets help us avoid the worldly attitude of some women that being a mother is a chore and burden and takes away personal freedom?

Explain that motherhood teaches us to be more loving and to learn to sacrifice.

President Spencer W. Kimball said:

“Young women should plan and prepare for marriage and the bearing and rearing of children. It is your divine right and the avenue to the greatest and most supreme happiness” (“Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters,” Ensign, Nov. 1978, p. 103).

Story

A young mother of two preschoolers was stricken with terminal cancer. Just before her death, her husband arranged with the hospital to have his wife, Marilyn, moved to a secluded spot on the hospital grounds to have a picnic with him and their two young daughters. It was an activity they had often enjoyed as a family before their mother’s illness. They all sat under a big maple tree, ate their lunch, and rejoiced in those few precious moments of being together as a family. After that experience, Marilyn went back to her hospital bed and wrote the following in her journal:

“I have always been told that ‘if you have your health you have everything.’ Today I realized that that isn’t true, because I have everything and don’t have my health. Everything to me was sitting under that big tree today—my dear husband and sweet children. Nothing else really matters. My role as wife and mother has brought me my greatest joy and happiness in this life. The picnics and many worldly pleasures I will leave behind forever, but my family I will have throughout all eternity.”

Discussion

How did this young wife and mother’s attitude toward her role help her cope with her illness?

How might her attitude affect her own daughters’ attitudes toward their roles when they are wives and mothers?

Conclusion

Quotation and optional handout

President Spencer W. Kimball has given us this encouragement:

“To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution” (Ensign, Nov. 1978, p. 103).

If you prepared handouts of this quotation, give them to class members.

Contributing to Family Life

Lesson 9

Honoring Parents

Objective

Each young woman will try to improve her relationship with her parents.

Preparation

Make a copy of the questionnaires in this lesson for each young woman (see page 37). You may want to give the questionnaires to the young women a week in advance so they could bring them to class filled out.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Note to the teacher

As you prepare this lesson, adapt the material if any young women in your class do not have a father or mother in their homes.

Suggested Lesson Development

We Can Learn to Recognize Our Parents’ Love

Story

Read the first part of the following story, “Holiday Homework.”

“It’s hard for me to tell this because I was sort of immature, but I’ll never forget last Christmas. See, I have this friend who lives up on the hill, and her family has [everything]—big house, nice cars, clothes. . . . But don’t get me wrong—they are really nice people and are great to me. Karen’s dad is in the bishopric, and they really have a perfect home life—just the kind I always thought was the ideal.

“. . . Well, I’m over there a lot, and they invited me to come to their Christmas Eve dinner. Everything was so fantastic. I mean, we ate in the dining room with candles, crystal, china, and two forks and spoons. Her dad gave a family prayer to begin with.

“. . . I’d never had a gift that cost over five dollars in my life. I could just imagine what it would be like when Santa Claus dropped by that night. . . .

“When Brother Miller drove me home I felt like I didn’t want to go in. He said, ‘Have a Merry Christmas, Cheryl. We really enjoyed having you with us.’ He was so warm and fatherly. I wanted to tell him how neat he was, but I ended up just saying, ‘Thanks, it was great!’

“The door was locked so I stood there ringing the bell and looking at the paint peeling on the house. Then there was that torn drape that the dog ripped a year ago. I just couldn’t help but compare the Millers’ home with our little run-down house. I heard Dad shuffling to the door in his slippers and the TV blaring in the living room. He opened the door and started shouting at me, telling me I was too late and the least I could do was stay home on Christmas Eve. . . . But he was half [drunk] and didn’t really mean everything he said, I told myself.

“. . . There was nothing around that looked like Christmas but a faded wreath on the door and a cheap Christmas tree with little balls hung on with hairpins. The house was a mess and smelled of stale bacon.

“Mother came to the doorway in [an old] robe. . . . I could tell from her expression she had a migraine [headache] again. ‘Surely wish my little girl would stay home once in a while and help her mother out.’

“Tears were coming; I could tell from the sting in my throat. I touched my mom on the shoulder, and all I could say was ‘Sorry, Mom,’ not really meaning it.

“I went in my bedroom and shut the door, kicking my little sister’s shoes out of the way.

“I couldn’t figure how come I had to be born in my family and not some family like the Millers. . . . It’s really hard when you’re the only Church member in the family. The elders told me it would be tough and that I had a big job ahead of me, setting a good example. I tried to but it seemed my family only thought I felt I was real big stuff for joining the Church and changing my life. . . .

“. . . I went right to bed without saying a prayer. I just couldn’t. I was so bitter I didn’t think the Lord would hear me.”

Discussion

How did Cheryl feel about her parents? Why?

How do you feel about Cheryl’s parents?

What could Cheryl have done to improve the situation at home?

Story

Read the conclusion of the story.

“Christmas morning I woke late when the sun was streaming in over my bed. Christmas morning! I jumped up with that tingly Christmas feeling. . . . I pulled my robe on and walked out into the living room. . . .

“‘That’s for you, Cheryl,’ [my mother said], pointing to a box under the tree.

“Dad pushed the box over to me. It was a big box with no paper but tied with varieties of leftover ribbon. I thought it would be a sweatshirt for P.E. because I needed one, but it wasn’t. When I pulled the tissue paper away, there were the folds of the most gorgeous long dress I’d ever seen. It was one of those old-fashioned ones with a full skirt and lace and ruffles. It had to be [very expensive].

“I just couldn’t say anything for a minute. My breath was all sucked in.

“‘I just can’t believe it! How fantastic!’ I just kept saying that over and over while I held the dress up to me.

“. . . Dad was looking away, but I went over and sat by him. I just couldn’t help throwing my arms around him and giving him a big bearhug, and I don’t know how long it had been since I’d done that!

“‘How did you manage it, Dad? I mean, I know you can’t afford it!’

“He stared at . . . the couch and didn’t say a word, but his mouth sort of tightened and twitched a little. He moved his arm quickly around my shoulder and just as quickly away. I just sat there for a while looking at the worn knees in his pants and thinking about loving and giving and what a big job I had ahead of me” (Carol C. Ottesen, “Holiday Homework,” New Era, Dec. 1972, pp. 22–23).

Discussion

How did hearing the end of the story change your feelings about Cheryl’s father?

Why do you think this young woman and her father did not understand each other’s feelings?

What indications were there that Cheryl’s parents loved her?

Do you sometimes wonder if your parents love you?

In what ways do your parents show their love?

How can you learn to understand your parents better?

Understanding Parents Is a Key to a Better Relationship

Explain that our love and appreciation for other people grow as we come to know and understand more about their backgrounds, experiences, and feelings.

Questionnaire

If the young women have completed the questionnaires in advance, discuss them at this time. If not, distribute a copy to each young woman. Encourage them to fill them out as completely as they can during the coming week. If they are unable to complete the questionnaires, they should ask their parents for the answers.

Maiden name:

Birthplace:

Was she raised by her parents?

Number of her brothers and sisters:

Her place in the family (oldest, youngest, etc.):

Occupation of her father:

Did they have financial security?

Religious affiliation of her family:

What are her most memorable spiritual experiences?

Does she have any special background or traditions?

What kind of relationship did she have with her parents?

What is her education?

What are her most memorable school experiences?

What kind of work did she do before her marriage?

What is her main goal in life?

What makes her happy?

What makes her sad?

What hardships has she overcome?

What does she most enjoy doing with her family?

What does she enjoy doing in her spare time?

Name:

Birthplace:

Was he raised by his parents?

Number of his brothers and sisters:

His place in the family (oldest, youngest, etc.):

Occupation of his father:

Did they have financial security?

Religious affiliation of his family:

What are his most memorable spiritual experiences?

Does he have any special background or traditions?

What kind of relationship did he have with his parents?

What is his education?

What are his most memorable school experiences?

What is his occupation?

What is his main goal in life?

What makes him happy?

What makes him sad?

What hardships has he overcome?

What does he most enjoy doing with his family?

What does he enjoy doing in his spare time?

Discussion

Using the questionnaires, continue the discussion.

Do you understand why your parents feel as they do about religion (or the Church)?

How can learning about your parents’ early lives help you understand their feelings?

How would knowing the answers to the questions on the questionnaires help you build a better relationship with your mother and father?

Conclude the discussion by explaining that the young woman in the story grew closer to her father after she understood how he felt. Point out that finding out more about their own parents will help the young women improve their relationships with their parents.

Heavenly Father Has Commanded Each Young Woman to Honor Her Parents

Scripture discussion

Have the young women turn to Exodus 20:12. Explain that God has commanded us to honor our parents. Before a class member reads Exodus 20:12, ask the young women to listen for the promise that is given with the commandment.

What promise does the Lord give those who honor their parents?

What might this promise mean?

Why do you suppose God made it a commandment to honor our parents?

Have a young woman read Paul’s admonition in Colossians 3:20.

What reasons does Paul give for being obedient to parents?

Teacher presentation

Explain that learning to honor and obey our earthly parents helps us have a better relationship with them. It can also prepare us to more fully love and obey our Father in Heaven.

We Are Responsible to Improve Our Relationships with Our Parents

Thought question

Does knowing that God has commanded you to honor and obey your parents automatically improve your relationship with them?

Chalkboard discussion

What are some specific things you could do to improve your relationship with your parents?

As the young women respond, summarize their answers on the chalkboard. The following suggestions may serve as a guide.

Be obedient.

Be loyal to them by not saying unkind things about them or to them.

Be more cheerful with all family members.

Be a good person myself.

Be more helpful at home.

Try to understand why they are the way they are.

Express my appreciation and thanks.

Discuss my problems, plans, and goals with them.

Always let them know where I am.

Teacher presentation

Explain that a daughter can do many things to improve her relationship with her parents. Different parents would be pleased with different things, but being a good person is one way in which every young woman can honor her parents. A daughter cannot change her parents, but she can improve and strengthen her relationship with them by changing her own behavior. Elder Loren C. Dunn gives a good example:

“I recall a stage play that recently was made into a movie. It dealt with parents whose only child, a son, returned from military service. The father and son had never been close. It was a situation in which both father and son loved each other but were unable to find ways to express themselves, and therefore hostilities arose because each thought the other did not like him. . . . The high point of the play came when the boy said to his father something like this:

“‘Dad, I always resented you when I was younger because you never told me that you loved me, but then I realized that I had never told you that I loved you either. Well, Dad, I’m telling you now: I love you.’

“For one electrifying moment the father and the son embraced each other as the pent-up love and appreciation of years came flooding out. This probably would never have happened had the son not realized that he was as guilty of lack of expression as his parents” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1969, pp. 22–23; or Improvement Era, June 1969, pp. 52–53).

Add the phrase Tell them you love them to the list on the chalkboard.

Story

One young woman who was determined to improve her feelings about her parents went to her Father in Heaven in earnest prayer. While praying, she decided to thank the Lord for her parents, even though she had never done so before. As she uttered the words of thanks, her mind was instantly filled with reasons why she should be grateful for her parents. She got up from her knees filled with a new love and understanding for two people whom she realized were as much God’s children as she was herself.

Add Pray for help to the list on the chalkboard.

Thought question

What will you do to improve your relationship with your parents and thereby please your Heavenly Father?

Suggested Activities

Plan an “Honor Parents” night.

Develop a plan that each young woman could carry out in her own home, with her brothers and sisters, to express honor and appreciation to her parents.

Suggest that each young woman write a letter of appreciation to her parents.

Suggest that each young woman set personal goals to show honor and respect to her parents.

Lesson 10

Supporting Family Members

Objective

Each young woman will learn how to support and be loyal to her family.

Preparation

Pictures 4 and 5, family members supporting each other, located at the back of the manual. Show the pictures at appropriate times during the lesson.

Make a copy of the scripture in the conclusion for each young woman.

Review the counsel about family on pages 10–11 of For the Strength of Youth.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Note to the teacher

As you prepare this lesson, be sensitive to those class members who may not have a father, mother, or brothers and sisters in their homes or who may have family members who are not active in the Church.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Discussion

Ask the young women to think about a time when they were talking with their friends and they felt as if their friends weren’t listening to what they were saying. Then ask them to think of a time when their friends did pay attention and cared about what they were saying.

How did you feel when your friends seemed to ignore you?

What difference did it make when your friends listened and showed interest in what you were saying?

Teacher presentation

Point out that each of us needs the approval of people who will give us support, loyalty, and encouragement. A family can provide this kind of strength, enthusiasm, and security when all its members unite to support each other. The Lord has asked us to be united within the bonds of our earthly families. A feeling of unity is a key to a successful Latter-day Saint family. Parents unitedly supporting children, children supporting parents, and brothers and sisters supporting each other help to create this feeling. To enable our families to reach their eternal destination, we must work together and support each other.

Quotation

“Be one who nurtures and builds. Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them” (Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, p. 26; or Ensign, May 1992, p. 20).

Discussion

Who are some of our supporters who we can see? (Parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives, teachers, friends, and Church leaders.)

Who might our unseen supporters be? (Heavenly parents, loved ones who have gone before us, and those who are yet to come.)

Teacher presentation

Explain that it is important for us to learn how and when to give support to members of our families. A good way to begin is to become acquainted with what each member of our family does in church, work, school, and at home. We need to be aware of when they face special challenges.

Supporting Your Father

Discussion

Explain that as head of a family, a father is responsible for the family’s spiritual and temporal welfare.

What different kinds of responsibilities do your fathers have in your families? (Individual circumstances vary, and answers could include a number of situations where fathers provide for a combination of physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs.)

How can you learn what your father’s daily work and Church calling require of him? What can you do to support your father in these important duties?

Teacher presentation and discussion

Point out that as a young woman learns of her father’s responsibilities and prays for him each day, she will come to realize what she can do to support and help him. Sometimes the best thing is to pray for him daily. She can also ask her father to pray for her or, when she feels the need, to give her a blessing. Emphasize that there can be great power in this kind of mutual support.

When might you need divine help and a special blessing? (When taking an important test, beginning a new school year, giving a talk, moving, and so on.)

Explain that sometimes we need extra strength from the Lord when we are faced with anxieties, trials, or temptations. Most fathers are willing to help their children when they know their needs. But it is up to us to share these feelings with our fathers and ask for their help.

How could asking for a father’s blessing be a way of supporting your father? Explain that although a father who does not hold the priesthood would not be able to give a priesthood blessing, he could give help in many other ways.

Stories and discussion

Tell the following stories and use the questions to encourage discussion.

While Sarah was attending college away from home, she had a problem and desperately needed some wise counsel. Her father was not an active member of the Church, but Sarah felt he was the person she should ask for help. When she shared her problem with him, he was reluctant at first to advise her. But he finally did give her some good counsel about her problem. Sarah’s father later confided to her mother, “I’ve never been so proud as I was when my daughter sought my advice.”

How did Sarah show support for her father?

What long-range effect might Sarah’s request for advice have on her father?

What kind of relationship might a father and daughter have who give and receive such kinds of support?

Point out that just as we appreciate having others notice our achievements or praise us for doing a job well, so do our fathers. One daughter wrote a special note to her father on his birthday. It concluded, “You’re the greatest man I know. Sometimes when I hear friends say unkind things about their parents, I am even more grateful you are my father. I love you so much. Thanks for the many things you do for me and most of all for your great example.”

How might a letter such as this make a father feel?

What are some other ways to show love, respect, courtesy, and gratitude?

Ask the young women to think about the last time they complimented their father on anything, from appearance to performance.

How might a daughter express or show appreciation for such things as the following: home comforts, clothing, counsel and advice, a good example, for life itself?

Chalkboard

Brainstorm and list on the chalkboard other ways a young woman can support her father.

Supporting Your Mother

Discussion

What kinds of responsibilities do your mothers have in your families? (Answers could include a number of situations where mothers provide for a combination of physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs.)

Help the young women understand how much work it takes for parents to raise a family and the many sacrifices their parents make.

What is your mother’s daily schedule? How much work does her Church calling require? What can you do to support your mother in her important responsibilities?

Teacher presentation

Tell the young women that learning about their mothers’ responsibilities is the first step in being supportive. Explain that many of the things they can do to support their fathers will also help them support their mothers. They can ask their mothers for counsel, pray for them, and express their appreciation for all the things their mothers do.

Story and discussion

Tell the following story:

After her mother’s death, a daughter found among her mother’s personal possessions several packets of neatly tied notes and letters. She was overwhelmed to realize that her mother had saved the expressions of love and appreciation that she had received from family members over the years. They were her treasures. The daughter had no idea that these things had meant so much to her mother.

How do you think a mother feels when her children thank her for the things she does? Do you think she notices when they don’t thank her?

Supporting Your Parents

Teacher presentation

Explain that parents need more than verbal expressions of support from their children. Every family has unique circumstances that add to the responsibilities the parents have.

Story

Tell the following story that shows what one daughter did to support her parents:

On the occasion of her husband’s call to a stake presidency, one wife stood at the pulpit and told of her deep gratitude for the support she had always received from her oldest daughter. She recalled that while her husband had been serving as a bishop, Kristin helped her with the many demands of a family of eight. She also told of a journal entry Kristin had shared with her a year or so after she had written it. It read: “I know I don’t do as much as I should for my family, so I have set the goal to always help them when they need it. With the new baby coming, Mom is going to need extra special help. I always want to be there when she needs me. I know that by serving my family, I am also serving my Heavenly Father.”

Discussion

Share the following situations with the young women and ask what they could do in each situation to help their parents or show their love and concern for them.

Your grandmother is ill and requires extra care in her own home.

Your grandfather has had a stroke and must come to your home to live.

It is your parents’ wedding anniversary.

Fast day is next Sunday, and you know of some special challenges facing your mother right now.

Your father needs your help, but you have a friend visiting after school and want to be with her.

Both your father and your mother are away from home during the day, and your younger brothers and sisters get home from school at the same time you do.

Supporting Each Brother and Sister

Discussion

Why is it sometimes difficult to express affection and support for your brothers and sisters?

Point out that some people are embarrassed to show love to brothers and sisters. Others have a bad habit of belittling their brothers and sisters instead of building them up.

Story

Sister Emma Rae McKay, the wife of President David O. McKay, tells of one young girl who enjoyed playing her own accompaniment as she sang songs for visitors or for her friends.

“One day her older brother heard her, and when they reached home, he mimicked her singing, laughed and taunted her with the remark, ‘Oh, you think people like to hear you try to sing. They are just pretending.’ [She] could seldom be coaxed to sing after that; at least, she had to know that brother was nowhere in listening distance. . . . Wherever they go, . . . [brothers and sisters] should pray for each other’s success, and if the one performing could feel that she is doing better because of those prayers, she would always want her family to be present at the very important time of her life when she is timid and fearful of success. What she needs is the stimulus of commendation, and this should come from the members of the same family. How happy then after difficult preparation and performance to greet the family who have nothing but encouragement and praise to offer” (Emma Rae Riggs McKay, The Art of Rearing Children Peacefully [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1952], p. 11).

Story

One daughter recalls that her father demonstrated how children can fill each other’s needs within the family. “One time [dad] brought two buckets into the family room—one filled with water, one empty. Then he had each of us think of something that made us upset or frustrated or discouraged that day. For each thing we named, he took a cup of water out of the full bucket. Then he told us that we are like that bucket, and when things happen during the day that disturb us, a cup of self-esteem is taken out. Gradually we get closer and closer to . . . the bottom [until the bucket is completely empty]. Then he turned to the other bucket. He asked us for suggestions on how we could help a person whose bucket was empty to fill it up again. With each suggestion, he had us step up and dip a cup of water back into the empty bucket. Then dad concluded that home is the place where we come to get our buckets filled, and that we should watch for and be sensitive to others, because we are responsible for helping to fill our brothers’ and sisters’ needs” (Eric G. Stephan and Judith Stephan Smith, What Happy Families Are Doing [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1981], pp. 57–58).

Chalkboard discussion

List on the chalkboard ways the young women suggest to build and support their brothers and sisters. Use the preceding story and demonstration to direct the discussion. You might bring up questions such as these:

What are your feelings when another family member wins an award or achieves something? Are you willing to share what belongs to you with others? When was the last time you went out of your way to support a brother or sister? How did this affect your relationship with that person? Do you wait for someone to do something nice for you before offering your support to him or her?

Discussion

What could a young woman do in the following situations to show support?

A brother is serving a mission.

A married sister and her husband do not get out much because they have several small children.

A younger sister has been assigned to give her first prayer in Primary.

A brother is receiving a priesthood advancement.

A sister is performing in a piano recital next Thursday night. You have an important test at school on Friday.

Conclusion

Scripture and handout

Have a member of the class read Doctrine and Covenants 108:7. Give each young woman a copy of the scripture. Tell them that their supportive attitudes can be contagious. These attitudes can spread from them to every member of their families, fostering feelings of warmth and unity in the family.

Lesson Application

Suggest that each young woman do at least one thing during the coming week for her father, mother, brothers, and sisters that will show her support for them.

Lesson 11

Growing and Maturing in Self-reliance, Part 1

Objective

Each young woman will recognize that she is growing in independence and will seek to become more self-reliant.

Preparation

Pictures 6, 7, 8, and 9 (a baby girl, a young woman, a bride and groom, and a young mother with her child). All are located at the end of the manual.

Bring pencils for the class members.

Make a copy of the quiz on page 46 for each young woman, or prepare to read it aloud.

Optional: Make a copy of the poem “Coming Out,” for each young woman to take home (see page 44).

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

As We Mature, We Become Less Dependent and More Self-reliant

Teacher presentation and discussion

Display the pictures of girls at various ages. Ask the young women to consider the pictures of the girls. Use questions to encourage a discussion of the increasing abilities that come to us with maturity. For example:

What could a five-year-old do that a baby could not? (Walk, talk, dress herself, make simple choices, and so on.)

What could a twenty-two-year-old do that a fourteen-year-old could not? (Drive a car, date, have a steady job, be married, have a family, and so on.)

Why don’t we expect a five-year-old to do what a fourteen-year-old can do, or a fourteen-year-old to do what a twenty-two-year-old can do?

Help the young women to realize that the change from dependence to increasing self-reliance is a gradual one and that each age has its own capacities.

Quotation

President Spencer W. Kimball said:

“For the first decade of your life there were joyous, happy, irresponsible days. Your parents and family protected you, taught and fed you, clothed and sheltered you; but now in the second decade of your life there is some relaxation of control. Gradually you are developing your personality, making increased numbers of your own decisions. You are maturing and assuming responsibility” (“President Kimball Speaks Out on Planning Your Life,” New Era, Sept. 1981, p. 47).

Discussion

Why could the first ten years of your life be referred to as “irresponsible”? Who was basically responsible for you then?

How did your parents and family shelter you?

What new responsibilities did you assume at baptism?

Why is there some relaxation of control in the second decade of your life?

What kinds of decisions can you make now that you could not have made at age ten?

Note to the teacher

Be sure that the young women understand clearly that assuming responsibility and becoming self-reliant is desirable and is what our Father in Heaven hopes for and expects. But this does not mean that we become independent of his direction in our lives or the sound counsel of parents or priesthood leaders. “The Lord is very generous with the freedom He gives us. The more we learn to follow the right, the more we are spiritually self-reliant, the more our freedom and our independence are affirmed” (Boyd K. Packer, “Self-reliance,” Ensign, Aug. 1975, p. 89).

Chalkboard

Write the word dependence on the left side of the chalkboard and the word self-reliance on the right side. Draw an arrow pointing from dependence to self-reliance. Point out that the Prophet Joseph Smith gave a good definition of self-reliance when someone asked him how he governed the Saints. Have someone read this statement: “I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves” (as quoted by John Taylor, Millennial Star, 13:339).

Point out that there are two important elements of self-reliance. We must first know correct principles. Then we must have the ability to govern ourselves on the basis of those principles.

Quiz

To help the young women measure their own self-reliance, give the following quiz. Distribute a pencil and a copy of the quiz to each of them. Read the list of paired statements. The statements on the left indicate that improvement is needed; the statements on the right indicate self-reliance. Ask the young women to rate themselves from one to ten on each item, one being the lowest and ten being the highest.

Represents 1
Your Rating
Represents 10

Other people determine most of what I do.

I can make a decision based on gospel principles, even though it may mean doing something different from what my friends are doing.

I avoid housework and family chores.

I recognize that I need to help with the work of the home and support my parents and family.

I frequently fall behind in my assignments for school or need to be reminded to study.

I manage my schoolwork and plan my study time.

I don’t earn any money; all that I have my parents give me.

I am earning some of my own money. I can manage my money and plan for tithing and savings. I know how to make a wise purchase.

When it is time to get up or time to practice my talents, I have trouble getting myself going.

I am learning to discipline myself so that I arise on time to practice my talents.

When things go wrong for me, I find an excuse or blame someone else.

I take responsibility for my own mistakes or problems.

I have no definite plans for what I want to do vocationally or educationally.

I am developing some skills that will help qualify me for work and have some areas of study in mind.

I rarely read the scriptures other than in formal classes.

I have my own study plan and read the scriptures regularly.

I am often late for classes or meetings.

I can manage my time and am punctual.

I rarely fast because I am so cross and hungry when I do.

I fast when I have need of the Lord’s help with special problems.

We Can Become More Self-reliant

Small-group discussions

After the young women have taken the quiz, emphasize that becoming self-reliant is a gradual process. We don’t become self-reliant all at once. And we grow at different rates in the various areas measured by the quiz.

With class members’ help, select two or three of the items from the quiz that seem most pertinent to your class. If the class is large enough, divide it into small groups and assign each group one of the topics to discuss. Have the young women share their ideas on how to become more self-reliant in that area. For example: brainstorm and share ways to remind yourself to practice or complete specific daily tasks, ways to keep track of expenses and to make sure tithing is taken care of as a first priority, ways to strengthen yourself daily through the scriptures. One member of each group should write down the ideas that are given. Have the groups report their findings to the class.

Scripture discussion

Have the young women turn to Doctrine and Covenants 93:13–14, 20, and read and mark these verses. Help them realize that progress and growth do not occur suddenly. The Savior himself grew into a “fulness” and received “grace for grace.” Ask them to consider verse 20.

What promise is extended to us in this verse? (We can grow as the Savior did, little by little, and come to a fulness.)

Explain that just as a tiny chick hatching from its shell must break out by itself, so our growth in self-reliance requires our own effort and exertion. At times this growth may even be painful.

Poem

Have the following poem read (and hand out copies if you made them):

Coming Out

Some hatchings hurt. . . .

And the new learning

softness

is so very tender.

It’s frightening to be

nothing more

than palest puff

that peeps.

And so remember

and remember

clarion call

to shelter:

“I will gather . . .

as a hen

gathereth

her chickens

under her wings . . .”

A place to grow

in strength.

(Dianne Dibb Forbis, New Era, Dec. 1977, p. 7.)

Discussion

What are some of the “hatchings” and the “new learnings” you are experiencing in this second decade of your life? (Some examples might be a growing testimony, new temptations, new challenges at school, and changing relationships with friends.) Do all of these new happenings and decisions sometimes make you feel like “palest puff,” “tender” and frightened?

What is a “clarion call”? (A clarion is a medieval trumpet that has a very clear, brilliant tone.)

When we are unsure or frightened as we are trying to grow, what does the poem suggest we do? What people and places can offer us shelter? (The Lord, our parents, our families, our homes.)

Scripture discussion

Have the young women turn to Doctrine and Covenants 29:1–2 and read and mark this scripture.

Who promised to gather us “as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings”?

Point out that by being close to our Father in Heaven and the Savior, we can grow in strength.

Conclusion

Teacher presentation

Explain that when we become more self-reliant, we please our Heavenly Father. He wants us to learn to do many things on our own. He is not pleased with those who do things only when they are told. (See D&C 58:27–29.)

Point out that as we gradually become less dependent on others, we need to train ourselves to hear the clear direction, the “clarion call” of the Lord. We need to learn to govern ourselves by his principles. Our Father in Heaven, who encourages our growth, will also give us the strength to accomplish it.

Lesson 12

Growing and Maturing in Self-reliance, Part 2

Objective

Each young woman will seek to strengthen her relationship with her family as she becomes more self-reliant.

Preparation

Bring paper and pencils for the class members.

Bring two pieces of clothing—one much too small and young looking for this age-group and one much too large and adult looking for this age-group.

Assign four young women to prepare ahead of time to present the dramatizations.

With approval of your priesthood adviser, select the four panel participants. Topics 1 and 2 should be presented by seventeen-year-olds or young adults. Ask them to give the young women positive suggestions for dealing successfully with the adjustments in their families. Topic 3 should be presented by a mother and a fourteen- or fifteen-year-old young woman (perhaps her daughter). Ask them to share ideas with the class on ways mothers and daughters can relate as adults. Each panel member should take no more than four minutes. You should guide the discussion with your comments and questions so it will meet the lesson objective.

If a panel discussion is not feasible, hold a class discussion on the most important topics. Together, list things the young women and their parents could do to keep family relationships strong during this time of growth.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Note to the teacher

In order to manage the class time successfully, study the lesson and make assignments carefully. About one-half to two-thirds of the lesson time will be needed for the panel discussion.

Suggested Lesson Development

As We Become More Self-reliant, We Need to Adjust to Changing Attitudes and Feelings

Activity and discussion

Show the young women the two pieces of clothing. Ask a class member if she thinks she could wear the small article of clothing. Would it be comfortable? Would she like to wear it among her friends? Why not? Ask another class member to think of how the very large piece of clothing would feel. Would she feel comfortable wearing it? Why not?

Teacher presentation

Help the young women think about their current stage in life. They are becoming more adult and taking greater responsibility for their actions. They may sometimes feel hampered by the restrictions of childhood. Other times they may feel insecure with the responsibilities of adulthood. As they grow in their capacity to become more self-reliant, they may have the same feelings they would if they wore the large size of clothing. Point out that their changing feelings may be confusing both to them and to their families.

Dramatizations

Use the following dramatizations to help the young women realize how their own behavior is changing and how this may affect others.

Carol: [With her mother in Carol’s room] Mom, you really don’t need to straighten my room while I’m gone during the day. I’m old enough and organized enough to take care of myself.

Mother: That’s fine, Carol. I’m glad you want to take that responsibility. I wish your brothers had your attitude. [She walks out of the room and a few seconds pass.]

Carol: [From her room] Mom! I just remembered I was supposed to be at the play rehearsal half an hour ago. I can’t find my costume! I know it’s somewhere in my room!

Discussion

In what ways was Carol trying to become more self-reliant?

How did her mother feel about this?

Has Carol’s behavior always been consistent with her desire to be self-reliant?

What do you think Carol’s mother was thinking when Carol couldn’t find her costume?

What do both Carol and her mother need to understand about changes in behavior?

Dramatization

Linda: [Approaching her dad, who is reading] Dad, can I do something to earn some money?

Dad: What for?

Linda: I want to buy a new pair of shoes.

Dad: I thought we just bought some shoes for you.

Linda: But these are sport shoes for our class outing when we play ball.

Dad: How about using an old pair of your sister’s?

Linda: [Angry] Oh, Dad. You don’t even care what I look like. Parents just don’t understand anything. [She stomps off.]

Discussion

How was Linda trying to become more self-reliant?

How could she have reacted in this situation to show she was more self-reliant and mature?

Scripture discussion

Have the classs read Ephesians 6:1–4. Ask them to discuss how understanding this counsel would have changed the discussion between Linda and her father.

Teacher presentation

Explain that part of growing up is learning to manage our emotions, moods, and attitudes. Parents and young women need to constantly express love and be patient with each other during this time of growing and maturing.

Quotations

Conclude this portion of the lesson by discussing with the young women the following statements about self-reliance.

“The Lord is very generous with the freedom He gives us. The more we learn to follow the right, the more we are spiritually self-reliant, the more our freedom and our independence are affirmed” (Boyd K. Packer, “Self-reliance,” Ensign, Aug. 1975, p. 89).

“Properly understood and practiced, self-reliance is a desirable saintly virtue; when it leaves the Lord out of the picture, however, it becomes a vice that leads [us] from the paths of righteousness. . . .

“But with it all, man of himself is not wholly self-sufficient. He is not to trust solely in his own strength, nor in the arm of flesh. The Lord is his Counselor and Deliverer, upon whom he must rely for guidance, direction, and inspiration” (Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966], pp. 701–2).

It Is Important to Maintain Strong Family Relationships during These Times of Growth

Thought question

How do you respond when you feel you are not being allowed enough independence?

Story

Explain that sometimes our desires to become independent and more self-reliant are so strong that we begin to act negatively toward any kind of authority over us. Elder James E. Talmage (an early General Authority of the Church) tells the story of a bee that flew into his office on a warm summer day. After buzzing through the room several times, the bee failed to find the partly opened window through which it had entered. Elder Talmage understood some things that the bee could not. He knew that if the bee remained trapped in the room, it would die. Hoping to free it, he stepped to the window and opened it wide. He tried to guide the bee out the window. But it would not be guided. He tried harder, but the bee became angry and even stung his hand. The bee persisted in its wild flight and never found the window to its freedom. By the following day, it had died. (See James E. Talmage, “The Parable of the Unwise Bee,” Improvement Era, Nov. 1962, p. 817.)

Teacher presentation and discussion

Suggest to the young women that there are many people in their lives who want to help and guide them in their search for freedom and self-reliance. These people often know and understand things that the young women may not.

How can rebelliousness make freedom and self-reliance more difficult to gain?

What is wrong with feeling as if you want your parents to leave you alone and free to do whatever you want?

Why isn’t this attitude wise or sensible?

To whom are you and your parents ultimately responsible? (We are all responsible to our Father in Heaven.)

Teacher presentation

Explain that the Lord places a heavy responsibility on parents to teach and train their children according to his commandments. Have someone read Doctrine and Covenants 93:40–43 and D&C 68:25. Point out that the scriptures also teach us that children are responsible to obey their parents, as we have previously discussed. The process of becoming more self-reliant is often complicated. It requires that children be obedient while learning to become more self-reliant. During this time while parents are helping them assume responsibility, parents may also have difficulty allowing the children to become self-reliant. But there are ways young women can maintain strong family relationships during this time.

Panel

Introduce the previously assigned panel members. Distribute paper and pencils to class members and suggest that they take notes on ideas they feel are important to them. As time permits, invite the young women to ask questions as the panel proceeds.

Topic 1 (to be presented by a seventeen-year-old or young adult): “How Can I Improve My Relationship with My Parents?”

The following ideas, or others the panelist has discovered, may serve as the basis for this presentation:

Make time to be together and talk when your parents are less pressured.

Let your parents know you appreciate something they do.

Quietly try to find out what your parents are doing; then help them without being asked.

Apologize when you have offended a parent.

Always be ready to forgive your parents for real or imagined injustices (see D&C 42:88; 64:9–10).

Pray together.

Keep a sense of humor.

Topic 2 (to be presented by a seventeen-year-old or young adult): “How Can I Gain My Parents’ Trust?”

Parents love their children, and they often feel concern for them. As a result, they may deny their children permission to do something if it seems unsafe or unwise. Children should be understanding and give their parents enough information about a proposed activity that their parents can feel comfortable giving permission to do it.

The amount of trust parents will place in a young woman has a lot to do with her performance. The more she proves herself able to keep her commitments, the more she disciplines herself, the fewer restraints will be placed on her. Many of the disagreements that take place in the home are over simple things such as doing household tasks, studying, and curfew. If the young woman proves that she can manage these simple things, both she and her parents will gain confidence in her self-reliance and maturity.

Topic 3 (to be presented by a mother and a fourteen- or fifteen-year-old young woman): “How Can We Adjust to Our Changing Relationships?”

The following ideas, or others the panelists have discovered, may serve as a basis for their presentations:

Mother:

Parents become used to teaching and giving specific instruction to their children. And it is sometimes difficult for them to remember how important some things are to their children. “Parents, remember when you were young; remember why you wanted to do some things you wanted to do; remember how eager you were for social acceptance, how sensitive you were to ill-timed criticism, and how easily your hearts could be hurt, and how some things, which now seem less important, once mattered very much. All this as parents we ask you to remember” (Richard L. Evans, in Conference Report, Apr. 1968, p. 87; or Improvement Era, June 1968, p. 89).

It may be difficult for a parent to watch a child grow up and become independent, but relating to each other on a more adult level can bring new excitement and happiness.

Daughter:

It is painful to a parent to be treated disrespectfully. “Parents . . . have hearts that can be hurt; . . . they, like you, are sensitive to ill-timed criticism and to misunderstanding of their motives. Remember that there is nothing, in righteousness, they would not do for you” (Richard L. Evans, Improvement Era, June 1968, p. 90). Discuss ways to show respect for parents during this growing time.

Negative feelings and emotions can be controlled and need not be indulged in or taken out on family members. Parents and children can find positive ways to get rid of negative feelings and emotions.

Mother and daughter:

Suggest ways mothers and daughters can relate to each other on a more adult level. “They are yours and you are theirs, and you and they together have the privilege, the right, the duty, to sit down and share your thoughts and consider your decisions with one another, that both of you together may be listened to and respected—and work, and pray and plan together for the wholeness of your happiness always and forever” (Richard L. Evans, Improvement Era, June 1968, p. 90).

Teacher presentation

Conclude the panel presentations by emphasizing that the changes in feelings and attitudes experienced by young women and their families during times of growth are normal. Strong family bonds can be forged during this time by mutual understanding and cooperation.

Lesson Application

Suggest to the young women that they use their notes to discuss their personal feelings and needs with their own parents.

Learning about the Priesthood

Lesson 13

Sustaining Priesthood Bearers

Objective

Each young woman will learn the importance of sustaining priesthood leadership.

Preparation

Prepare a copy of the following questionnaire for each young woman (you may want to duplicate the copy on page 55).

Name the following priesthood officers who serve you:

The President of the Church

Members of the Quorum of the Twelve , , , , , , , , , , ,

The stake or mission president

The bishop or branch president

Your home teachers ,

Who is your immediate priesthood leader? (Be sure the young women understand that this is their father, if he holds the priesthood.)

Bring a pencil for each young woman.

Prepare for each class member a copy of the eight numbered questions from the article by Sister Ardeth Kapp (see page 55).

Assign a young woman to present the story about President Ezra Taft Benson’s family (see pages 53–54) Invite other class members to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

If it is available in your area, prepare to show “The Blessings of the Priesthood,” in Family Home Evening Video Supplement 2 (53277).

Suggested Lesson Development

We Can Sustain Priesthood Leaders

Activity

Distribute a pencil and the questionnaire to each young woman. Ask them to name each priesthood holder on the sheet in the space provided. When they are finished, ask them whether they sustain and support these priesthood leaders.

Discussion

What does it mean to support and sustain someone?

Chalkboard discussion

One of the dictionary definitions of the word support is “to promote the interest or cause of” or “to uphold or defend as valid or right: advocate.” The word sustain means “to give support or relief to.” (Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, 7th ed. [Springfield, Mass.: G. & C. Merriam Co., 1973], pp. 1171, 1174.)

Write these definitions on the chalkboard.

Below the definitions, write the words Why and How to. Underneath, list in a column each priesthood leader on the questionnaire (see the sample illustration on page 53).

Support: “to promote the interest or cause of” or “to uphold or defend as valid or right: advocate.”

Sustain: “to give support or relief to.”

| Why | How to
President of the Church |
Quorum of the Twelve |
Stake president |
Bishop |
Home teacher |
Father |

What are some of the reasons the Lord has asked us to support and sustain our leaders? What are some of the ways we can do this?

For each priesthood leader, ask the young women to name at least one reason why they should support him and several ways they can do this. List these responses beside the priesthood leader’s name. Encourage the young women to think of specific ways to support each leader. For example, instead of listing, “Do what the bishop asks,” they might list, “Willingly accept an assignment to speak in sacrament meeting and prepare carefully for it.”

Scriptures and quotation

To help the young women understand why they should support their priesthood leaders, have them read the following scriptures and quotation: Doctrine and Covenants 1:38; Doctrine and Covenants 112:20; 2 Chronicles 20:20; and Amos 3:7.

“The prerogative of sustaining the priesthood is held by women as well as by men. There can be little inspiration and no progress, either in the home or in the Church organization where the women do not sustain the priesthood” (Matthew Cowley, Matthew Cowley Speaks [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1954], p. 194).

We Can Give Support by Praying for Our Leaders

Point out that one important way we can help our leaders is by praying for them.

Story

Invite the assigned class member to share the following story of how one young woman was impressed by Elder Ezra Taft Benson’s family as they strengthened him in his priesthood role:

“The first time [I came] to the Salt Lake Tabernacle for a general conference of the Church I was awed by the immensity of the building, but even more by the room-filling presence of the General Authorities who were assembled there.

“In my growing-up years, many of them had visited our small branch in Montana. We had no television, nor could we receive conference on the radio. So we looked forward to each visit as a special blessing. They had, it seemed to me, a power and faith above other men.

“Then on [that] April day . . . I discovered one source of a General Authority’s strength.

“I was seated with the six children of Elder Ezra Taft Benson, one of whom was my college roommate. My interest heightened when President McKay arose and announced the next speaker. I watched respectfully as Elder Benson, whom I had not yet met, walked toward the microphone. He was a big man, well over six feet tall. He was a man with a Ph.D., a man internationally known as the United States Secretary of Agriculture and a special witness of the Lord, a man who seemed serene and sure, one who had addressed audiences throughout the world. Suddenly a hand touched my arm. A little girl leaned toward me and whispered urgently, ‘Pray for Dad.’

“Somewhat startled, I thought, ‘This message is being passed down the row, and I am to pass it on. Shall I say, “Pray for Elder Benson”? Shall I say, “You’re supposed to say a prayer for your father”?’ Sensing the immediate need to act, I leaned over and whispered simply, ‘Pray for Dad.’

“I watched that whisper move along the row to where Sister Benson sat, her head already bowed.

“Many times since that day I have remembered that message—Pray for Dad, the patriarch of the home. Pray for him as he serves as district president or home teacher. Pray for him when he becomes executive secretary of a civic group, when his business flourishes, or when he takes a cut in salary. Pray as he gives counsel in family home evening. Pray for Dad who works long hours so that Jerold can go on a mission and Diane can go to college. Pray for him as he speaks in sacrament meeting or gives Mother a blessing that she might be made well again. Pray as he baptizes William or gives a tiny, newborn baby a name and a father’s blessing. And in the evening, should he come home tired or discouraged, pray for him. Pray for Dad in all that he might do—the small things and the great.

“As years have passed, general conferences have come and gone, and each time President Benson has stood to speak, I have thought, ‘His children, who are scattered across the continent, are united now in prayer for their father.’

“And I have come to believe that the brief message that passed along the row . . . years ago is the most important message a family can share. What extraordinary power and faith any man can have to meet the daily challenge of his life if somewhere in the world his daughter or son is whispering, ‘Pray for Dad’” (Elaine S. McKay, “Pray for Dad,” New Era, June 1975, p. 33).

Emphasize that sustaining and supporting priesthood leaders is more than raising one’s hand. It means praying for them, speaking well of them, and obeying them.

We Can Strengthen Young Priesthood Holders

Teacher presentation

Point out that a young woman’s obligation to support priesthood holders does not include only those who are her leaders. She may have a great ability to strengthen and sustain young men her own age.

Story

Tell the following story, or ask an assigned class member to tell it:

A young elder who had been called to serve a foreign mission spoke in his ward sacrament meeting. Many young people were in attendance, including a large number of young women.

“In his closing remarks I began to sense the powerful influence friends had had on this young man who was spiritually mature beyond his years. After expressing gratitude for family and loved ones, and before his final testimony, he grasped the pulpit on either side and leaned forward. He dropped his head just a moment. Then, looking up, he quietly said, ‘And I give thanks to all my friends, especially you girls in the audience who have kept the standards and encouraged me to do the same.’ His voice deepened as he continued, ‘Thank you for your influence that has helped me prepare for a mission’” (Ardeth G. Kapp, “By the Way She Is,” New Era, Sept. 1976, pp. 10–12).

Discussion

What are some of the ways that the young women might have influenced this missionary?

What part could they have played in his decision to serve a mission?

How can your attitudes and behavior influence a young man’s decision?

Quotation

Explain that young women have the ability to positively influence priesthood bearers in their responsibilities. Read the following words from Sister Ardeth Kapp, which describe ways in which this influence is shown:

“Young women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, [1] do the young men you associate with know that you have a standard of excellence from which you will not depart? [2] Do they know by what you say and do that you honor and respect your parents and that [3] you follow the counsel of the leaders of the Church? [4] Do they know you will delay dating until after you are 16 because a prophet of the Lord has given that direction? [5] By your actions do they know that you have made up your mind to be good and that you will not weaken? [6] Can they look to your friendship to gain confidence and respect for themselves? [7] Will your language, your dress, your choice of entertainment, music, books, and movies help the young men who associate with you develop admiration and respect for womanhood? As young men are exposed to the world’s distorted role of womanhood, [8] can they see in you the refinement and sweetness that encourage an attitude of reverence, respect, and honor for that sacred calling?

“Strange that I had not realized before, but it is not as a young woman encourages a young man to go on a mission that her greatest influence is felt. Rather it is through her actions as she reveals her commitment and testimony to the gospel of Jesus Christ and gives evidence through her power and influence in the advancement of good” (“By the Way She Is,” p. 13; numbers added).

Lesson Application

Handout

Give each class member a copy of the eight questions suggested by Sister Kapp. Ask her to take it home and prayerfully analyze herself and her actions. Suggest that the young women place the handouts in their books of remembrance and that they occasionally refer to the list and evaluate themselves.

Questionnaire

Handout for lesson activity

Name the following priesthood officers who serve you:

The President of the Church

Members of the Quorum of the Twelve , , , , , , , , , , ,

The stake or mission president

The bishop or branch president

Your home teachers ,

Who is your immediate priesthood leader?

Lesson 14

Patriarchal Leadership in the Home

Objective

Each young woman will understand the patriarchal order in the home.

Preparation

Bring a pencil for each class member.

Prepare a copy of the quiz on page 60 for each young woman. If you do not wish to use the quiz, assign the questions to class members. Give the young women the quotations that correspond to their questions and have them present a panel discussion.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Note to the teacher

The young women in your class come from varied backgrounds and family situations. Some have fathers who are righteous patriarchs in their families. Others may have fathers who are not active in the Church or who are not members. Some may not have fathers in their homes. Be sensitive to each young woman’s situation. Regardless of present family situations, the objective of this lesson is to teach what the patriarchal order is and how a patriarch can bless his family.

Suggested Lesson Development

The Patriarchal Order Is the Lord’s Plan for Families

Quiz

Give each young woman a pencil and a copy of the following quiz (see also page 60). Allow about five minutes for them to answer the questions. Explain that no one will see their answers. Point out that there may be more than one correct answer.

What Do You Know about the Patriarchal Order?

The patriarchal order is:

A recommend to get your patriarchal blessing.

An order for obtaining goods from the bishops’ storehouse.

The Lord’s divine system of government.

The most important organization in the Church is:

The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

The First Presidency.

The family.

The presiding authority in your family is:

The President of the Church.

The bishop.

Your father (or your mother, if there is no father in your home).

As presiding authority in the family, some of the father’s responsibilities are to:

Preside and direct the affairs of his home and family in righteousness.

Provide for the physical and spiritual needs of his family.

Seek the Lord for personal revelation concerning his family.

Some of the mother’s responsibilities are to:

Bear and nurture children.

Help provide for the physical and spiritual needs of her family.

Be a companion, a counselor, and a friend to her husband.

According to the Lord’s plan, who is responsible for loving and teaching the children?

The father only.

The mother only.

Both parents.

In the Lord’s plan:

There is full equality between man and woman.

The man is more important because he holds the priesthood.

The Lord loves his daughters as much as he loves his sons.

Although each father presides in his family, in order to preside as the patriarchal head of a family, he must:

Have a college education.

Have a good job.

Have the Melchizedek Priesthood.

The father has the role of patriarch because:

He is more worthy and better qualified.

It is his divine role.

It is a matter of law and order.

After the young women have completed the quiz, read the questions aloud. After reading each question, let the young women give their answers. Then read, or have someone else read, the corresponding quotation given below.

Each quotation contains a clue for the correct answer to the question it refers to. Italics have been added to show key words. After each quotation is read, identify the correct answer or answers to the question.

Quotations and discussion

Question 1

“The Lord’s government is patriarchal in nature. The family . . . is the center” (Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966], p. 559; italics added).

Question 2

“The family is the most important organization in time or in eternity. Our purpose in life is to create for ourselves eternal family units” (Joseph Fielding Smith, in Conference Report, Apr. 1972, p. 13; or Ensign, July 1972, p. 27).

Question 3

“In the home the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1975], p. 27; italics added).

Question 4

“God established that fathers are to preside in the home. Fathers are to provide, love, teach, and direct” (Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1984, p. 6; or Ensign, May 1984, p. 6; italics added).

“‘Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it will always be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home’” (Father, Consider Your Ways [pamphlet, 1973], pp. 4–5; as cited by Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, Nov. 1987, p. 49).

Since this is such an important concept, you may wish to discuss the answer in greater detail. Point out that all three of the answers given in the quiz are correct. Ask the young women to add additional suggestions of things the father does as patriarchal head of the home. The statements of President Benson suggest some; perhaps you can draw from the young women other suggestions, such as setting a righteous example, sharing his testimony and convictions, and seeing that family members are taught correct principles.

Question 5

“At the time of the creation, the responsibility of bearing and nurturing children was assigned the mother. The primary role of providing was assigned the father. There is nothing in all of scripture that alters this fundamental understanding; and indeed, modern scripture and modern prophets have reinforced this basic relationship between fathers and mothers” (The Church and the Proposed Equal Rights Amendment [booklet], pp. 11–12; italics added; insert in the March 1980 Ensign).

“Fortunately, [a father is] not required to preside and judge and act without counsel, without assistance. [He has] a wife—a companion, a counselor, a partner, a helpmeet, a friend” (Father, Consider Your Ways [pamphlet, n.d.], p. 3; italics added).

Question 6

“Truly a tremendous responsibility falls upon a couple when they bring children into the world. Not only food, clothes, and shelter are required of them, but loving, kindly disciplining, teaching, and training” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Train Up a Child,” Ensign, Apr. 1978, p. 5; italics added).

Question 7

“In the Church there is full equality between man and woman. The gospel . . . was devised by the Lord for men and women alike. . . . The privileges and requirements of the gospel are fundamentally alike for men and women. The Lord loves His daughters as well as He loves His sons” (John A. Widtsoe, Evidences and Reconciliations [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1960], p. 30; italics added).

Question 8

“Although each father is the head of his family, in the strict sense of the word the Latter-day Saint family cannot be called patriarchal unless the husband holds the Melchizedek Priesthood and the wife was married to or sealed to the husband in the temple, and the children were born in the covenant or sealed to their parents” (A Light unto the World [Melchizedek Priesthood course of study, 1967–68], p. 55; italics added).

Since there may possibly be young women in your class whose fathers do not hold the Melchizedek Priesthood, you may wish to read and discuss the following statement.

“To the comment, ‘My husband [or father] is not a member of the Church, nor does he respect it,’ I with love and compassion answer: ‘Dear Sister, whether he is a member or not, he is still the father and head of the family. . . . Support him in his positive actions. Show him that you believe in and trust his ability to direct the family. Encourage him with noble examples” (Richard G. Scott, “Father Is Head of the Family,” Ensign, Feb. 1977, pp. 84–85).

Question 9

“The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity. There is, then, a particular reason why men, women and children should understand this order and this authority in the households of the people of God. . . . It is not merely a question of who is perhaps the best qualified. Neither is it wholly a question of who is living the most worthy life. It is a question largely of law and order” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, p. 287; italics added).

Teacher presentation

Point out that the word patriarch is related to the word father. But we use this word in a special way. The term patriarchal order refers to the line of people from Adam on down through all generations who are linked together by eternal temple ordinances. These people will maintain their family relationships forever. When a couple is married in the temple, the husband and wife become eligible to become part of this great eternal family. The man becomes not only the father, but the patriarch of his family. This means that he is responsible to help his family live in such a way that they can return to Heavenly Father together. And because he holds the Melchizedek Priesthood, he can bless his family and teach them in a way he could not otherwise do.

A Young Woman Can Support Her Father in His Role

Chalkboard discussion

Ask the young women to think of ways in which they can support their fathers. List the ideas on the chalkboard. Their suggestions might include some of the following:

Ways to Support Fathers

Be obedient

Spend time together

Share concerns and interests

Ask for a father’s blessing

Seek his advice and counsel

Get to know him

Set a good example to brothers and sisters

Give him love and appreciation

Build up, not tear down

Support him in family home evening

Be cheerful and helpful in the home

Story

Some of the young women may feel that it would be difficult to express their love and support to their fathers. You might wish to have a young woman tell the following story:

When Sister Lois Christensen was a girl, her Sunday School teacher asked each class member to tell her father that she loved him. Lois felt that this was an impossible assignment for her to fill. Her father was not active in the Church, and the communication gap between them was wide. Love was never expressed verbally in her family. She stayed after the other class members had left to tell her teacher she couldn’t do it. In her own words, she says:

“But Sister Innes wasn’t convinced. She looked at me and said, ‘No matter what your dad is or does, he needs to hear those words from you, just as much as any other dad needs to hear them. I want you to promise me you’ll fill this assignment.’”

“I agreed, and during the next few days I felt a great burden. I knew it would only be lifted when I fulfilled my commitment. One night, after the others had gone to bed, I nervously waited for the right moment to say those words. Dad was smoking a cigarette and stood up to put the ashes in the trash. With a trembling, nervous, almost inaudible voice I said, ‘Dad, I love you.’

“He had his back to me, and he didn’t turn around or say anything or do anything. I was sure he hadn’t heard me. And so, weakly, I repeated it. ‘Dad, I love you.’ And then, very slowly, he turned toward me. My insensitive, untouchable dad had tears streaming down his cheeks. He put his arms around me and held me close and kissed the top of my head. That was the first time in my sixteen years that I could remember my dad and me embracing.

“Today I’m a mother with my own big family. I love you is a familiar phrase, used often in our home. And what of my beloved dad? Today he is a high priest, working diligently at building up the kingdom of God” (Lois Christensen, “Telling My Father I Loved Him,” Ensign, Feb. 1978, p. 51).

Conclusion

Teacher presentation

Remind the young women that by divine appointment the father is the patriarchal head of the home. The Lord has given him the responsibility for the spiritual and temporal welfare of his family, and he will be held accountable for that responsibility. It is his calling to preside and direct the affairs of his home and family in a spirit of righteousness and love. Each family member has the obligation to support and sustain the father in his patriarchal role. There is much a young woman can do to fulfill this responsibility herself and to influence other family members to sustain their father in his important role.

Lesson Application

Ask each young woman to choose from the list on the chalkboard two or three things she will do this week to support her father in his patriarchal role.

Lesson 15

The Melchizedek Priesthood

Objective

Each young woman will understand the duties and obligations of those who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood.

Preparation

Picture 10, Melchizedek Priesthood Restoration (62371), located at the back of the manual.

If possible, make a copy for each class member of the handout “Offices and Responsibilities in the Melchizedek Priesthood” on page 65.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Quotation

“The priesthood is the power of God delegated to men to act for the blessing and salvation of all mankind. While we sometimes refer to priesthood holders as ‘the priesthood,’ we must never forget that the priesthood is not owned by or embodied in those who hold it. It is held in a sacred trust to be used for the benefit of men, women, and children alike. Elder John A. Widtsoe said, ‘Men have no greater claim than women upon the blessings that issue from the Priesthood and accompany its possession’ (Priesthood and Church Government [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1939], p. 83). For example, our young women should have just as many opportunities for blessings from priesthood leaders as our young men” (Dallin H. Oaks, in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, p. 51; or Ensign, May 1992, p. 36).

The Melchizedek Priesthood Has Been Restored

Teacher presentation

Show the picture of the restoration of the Melchizedek Priesthood. Explain that Peter, James, and John hold the keys of the Melchizedek Priesthood. They appeared to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery near the time of the organization of the Church to restore the powers of this priesthood to the earth.

Melchizedek Priesthood Holders Have Specific Duties

Chalkboard activity

Explain that the Lord has organized the priesthood so that his kingdom can spread throughout the world and bless each member of the Church. Each office in the Melchizedek Priesthood has been given specific responsibilities so the Lord’s purposes and work can be carried out as he intends.

Explain that you will read various clues to identify an office or quorum in the Melchizedek Priesthood. As soon as one of the young women thinks she knows the office or quorum you are describing, she should raise her hand. Read all clues even if the young women know the answer on the first clue. After reading the clues, ask the young women to give the correct answer.

As correct answers are given, write each one on the chalkboard.

(a) The members of my quorum are special witnesses for Jesus Christ to the whole world. (b) The members of my quorum are sustained by Church members everywhere as prophets, seers, and revelators. (c) I usually give a talk at general conference. To what quorum do I belong? (The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.)

(a) My quorum has a special responsibility to do missionary work and administer the Church throughout the world. (b) There can be up to seven of these quorums in the Church. (c) When fully organized, my quorum will contain seventy members. Who are we? (Members of the Quorums of the Seventy.)

(a) There may be ninety-six members in my quorum. (b) I can both baptize and bestow the gift of the Holy Ghost on people entering the Church. (c) You often see me with a companion on a mission. (d) I am often called to administer to the people who are sick. What is my priesthood office? (Elder.)

(a) I hold the Melchizedek Priesthood. (b) You usually see me at general conference. (c) I am the presiding high priest in the Church. (d) Only one man holds this office in the Church at any one time. What is my calling? (The President of the Church.)

(a) I am a high priest. (b) Serving with me are two counselors and twelve other representatives. (c) I am responsible for all priesthood activities in several wards of the Church. (d) I usually speak at stake conference. What is my calling? (The stake president.)

(a) I am the presiding high priest in a ward. (b) I am the president of the priests quorum in my ward (see D&C 107:87–88). (c) Much of my work is with the young people in my ward. (d) One of my important assignments is to interview young women. What is my calling? (The bishop.)

(a) There is no limit to the number of members in my quorum. (b) I may be a bishop or a bishop’s counselor. (c) The stake president is the president of my quorum. What is my priesthood office? (High priest.)

Teacher presentation and discussion

To strengthen the young women’s understanding of the duties and obligations of Melchizedek Priesthood holders, review together the information found in “Offices and Responsibilities in the Melchizedek Priesthood.” Use the scripture references as needed to answer questions the young women may have.

Offices and Responsibilities in the Melchizedek Priesthood

Office
Number in Quorum
Responsibilities
Scripture References

Elder
96

Teach

Preach

Baptize

Confirm

Conduct meetings

Administer to the sick

Function in Church disciplinary councils

Act in the duties of the Aaronic Priesthood

Ordain other elders or priests, teachers, or deacons

D&C 20:39, 41–45; D&C 42:43–44, 80

High Priest
All high priests in the stake

Fulfill all the responsibilities of an elder

Can be ordained to the office of bishop, stake president, etc.

D&C 20:67 and 107:10; D&C 84:111 and 68:19

Patriarch
No quorum; patriarchs are also high priests

Fulfill the responsibilities of elder and high priest

Give patriarchal blessings

D&C 107:39–53

Seventy
70

Is a General Authority or Area Authority Seventy

Preach to all the world

D&C 107:25, 34, 38, 93–97

Apostle
12

Serve as special witnesses of Jesus Christ to all the world

Build up and regulate the affairs of the Church

The Quorum of the Twelve holds the keys of the kingdom of God on the earth

Is a prophet, seer, and revelator

D&C 18:26–27; D&C 107:23, 33

Receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood Is a Great Blessing

Teacher presentation

Explain that the Melchizedek Priesthood is one of the most important blessings God has ever given to his children. The Melchizedek Priesthood gives men the power to perform the saving ordinances needed for each person to obtain eternal life and all of God’s greatest blessings. Because this higher priesthood is vital to our eternal progression, receiving the Melchizedek Priesthood is a very important step in the life of a man.

Explain that every young man in the Church should prepare himself to receive the Melchizedek Priesthood. He will be interviewed by his bishop and stake president, and they will evaluate his dedication to the Lord and the Church. If they find him worthy, he will be ordained to the office of elder in the Melchizedek Priesthood. He receives this priesthood with an oath and covenant (see D&C 84:33–44).

Quotation

Elder Marion G. Romney has taught us of the responsibilities that come to those who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood. He said:

“The status of one who receives the priesthood and then breaks the covenant is explained by the Lord in this language: ‘. . . whoso breaketh this covenant after he hath received it, and altogether turneth therefrom, shall not have forgiveness of sins in this world nor in the world to come.’ [D&C 84:41.]

“With such a penalty prescribed for breaking it, one might be prompted to question the advisability of accepting the obligations of the covenant; that is, he might question it until he reads the verse which follows the statement of the penalty. There he learns that those who do not receive the oath and covenant are not much, if any, better off than are those who receive it and break it. For in that verse the Lord says: ‘And, wo unto all those who come not unto this priesthood which ye have received. . . .’ [D&C 84:42.]

“Such is the sober import of ‘the oath and covenant which belongeth to the priesthood’” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1962, p. 18; or Improvement Era, June 1962, p. 416).

Scriptures

Review and discuss Doctrine and Covenants 84:41–42 as needed to help the young women understand the great responsibility men take upon themselves when they receive the Melchizedek Priesthood.

Discussion

Discuss the following questions as a class to help the young women understand their need to show respect for the Melchizedek Priesthood and those who bear it.

Without the Melchizedek Priesthood, would our eternal progression be possible?

How is our respect for the Melchizedek Priesthood reflected in our thoughts, words, and actions?

When we treat priesthood bearers with respect, how are we honoring the Melchizedek Priesthood?

What can we do to encourage priesthood bearers to honor their priesthood?

Conclusion

Teacher presentation

Conclude by emphasizing how important it is to honor the Melchizedek Priesthood and those who hold it. Those who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood have committed to obey our Father in Heaven and use his priesthood to bless his children. They, like us, are in the process of trying to become like God. Our trust in them will inspire them to honor their priesthood fully.

Lesson 16

Women and Priesthood Bearers

Objective

Each young woman will understand that a woman and her husband can enter the highest degree of celestial glory only together.

Preparation

Prepare the wordstrips called for in the lesson.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Women Have an Important Relationship to Men and the Priesthood

Scripture discussion

Have the young women read 1 Corinthians 11:11 and Doctrine and Covenants 131:1–4.

What do these scriptures tell us is necessary for us to achieve the highest degree of glory in the celestial kingdom?

Teacher presentation

Help the young women understand that to achieve their divine potential, they must enter into celestial marriage with a righteous priesthood bearer. They should realize the integral part they play in God’s eternal plan, along with a righteous man who bears the priesthood. Man is essential to woman, and woman is essential to man.

Scripture discussion

What does Genesis 2:18 say about man being without a woman?

Explain that “an help meet for him” means that the Lord wanted to provide Adam with someone suited to him, someone who was worthy to be with him.

Read Moses 5:1. Point out that the first man and woman upon the earth had an important relationship with each other. “And Eve, also, his wife, did labor with him.”

Why is it important that a husband and wife do things together? What is the most important relationship that a married woman has? How should a husband regard his wife?

Quotation

Read the following statement by President Spencer W. Kimball:

“As an indication of the importance [given] to women, the Lord said,

“‘Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.’ (Gen. 2:24.)

“Do you note that? She, the woman, occupies the first place. She is preeminent, even above the parents who are so dear to all of us. Even the children must take their proper but significant place” (“The Blessings and Responsibilities of Womanhood,” Ensign, Mar. 1976, p. 72).

A Young Woman Should Be Supportive in Her Relationship to a Priesthood Bearer

Thought question

What is your personal attitude toward those priesthood bearers with whom you work and associate? Do you support them? Why or why not?

Wordstrips and discussion

Show the following wordstrips one at a time. Ask the young women to decide if the wordstrip indicates a supportive or a nonsupportive action. Place the wordstrip on the chalkboard under the correct category.

Completed chalkboard illustration

Nonsupportive | Supportive
Disregard | Motivate
Weaken | Strengthen
Ignore | Sustain
Neglect | Guide

What is the main difference between the words in these two columns? (One column represents positive action; the other represents negative, unproductive, and possibly destructive action.)

Thought question

Which of these words describes your personal attitude toward those priesthood bearers with whom you associate?

Case studies and discussion

Read and discuss the following case studies to help the young women understand that they have many opportunities to show support to priesthood bearers.

Case Study 1

Lynne had been called as a young woman class president in January. It seemed to her that the young men left most of the work for the young women when they had a combined activity. Lynne became frustrated and impatient. She had to remind the young men leaders of almost everything. She disliked being pushy, but she was afraid that if she didn’t, nothing would get done. After a long discussion, her adviser suggested that she change her attitude. She suggested that Lynne develop a positive attitude about her responsibilities and her relationship to the young men who hold the priesthood.

Lynne accepted the counsel and with a prayerful heart went to work to determine what her responsibilities were in each assignment and how she could carry them out quickly and effectively. She then expected and prayed that the young men would accomplish their responsibilities just as quickly and efficiently.

Her prayerful, positive approach and attitude worked. The young men responded because she treated them as responsible priesthood leaders. They knew the young women were depending on them and would support and encourage them. They began doing their full share of the work. Instead of nagging or pushing, Lynne began to depend on the priesthood brethren. It was a wonderful feeling!

How was Lynne’s negative attitude interfering with her efforts to support bearers of the priesthood?

How did Lynne’s supportive attitude change her own behavior as well as the behavior of those she served with?

Case Study 2

Jennie was very excited as she and her girlfriends talked about their big plans for Friday night. For days they had been planning a special dinner at Julie’s house to celebrate the end of the school year. Jennie’s father, who was the branch president, and her brother David, who had just been ordained a priest, also had some exciting plans for Friday night. In their somewhat isolated branch in Kenai, Alaska, it wasn’t often that they had the opportunity to have a visit from a General Authority. That Friday they had planned to drive to Anchorage, a distance of about 150 miles, to attend a stake fathers’ and sons’ outing and priesthood conference with one of the General Authorities. Jennie’s father was especially anxious because as a new priesthood leader there were many questions he wanted to ask.

On Friday, Jennie got out of school at noon and hurried home. When she arrived, she found her father and David looking very disappointed. Jennie’s mother had caught the flu and was too sick to care for Jennie’s little brother and sister. It looked as if Jennie’s father and brother would not be able to attend the conference.

Ask the young women to put themselves in Jennie’s place and to finish the story. Ask them to consider what blessings Jennie might be bringing to her family, her branch, and herself if she decided to stay home from her party to help her mother. These blessings might include the spirit of sacrifice she would experience and the inspiration and guidance her father would receive to help him fulfill his new priesthood calling.

Use any of the following questions to stimulate more discussion:

If Jennie stayed home, how would she be helping her father?

What difference would it make if she made this sacrifice willingly and cheerfully instead of begrudgingly?

What effect might her example have on the smaller children in the family?

Chalkboard discussion

What can you do as a young woman to actively support a young man who holds the priesthood? List the young women’s ideas on the chalkboard. Some of the following might be included:

Concentrate on his good points.

Supply ideas.

Treat him as you want him to become.

Have a listening ear.

Be honest in your praise.

Support him in projects and callings.

Be a counselor, when asked.

Do what is delegated to you.

Sustain him with your prayers.

Conclusion

Quotations

Read the following statements:

“There is indeed no privileged class or sex within the true Church of Christ; and in reality there can be no discrimination between the sexes only as human beings make it or permit it. Men have their work to do and their powers to exercise for the benefit of all the members of the Church regardless of sex or age.

“So with woman: Her special gifts are to be exercised for the benefit and uplift of the race. This equally shared responsibility makes men and women real ‘team-mates’ in that which makes for human progress. Each one is a complement to the other and neither sex alone may function completely in the world’s work” (Priesthood and Church Government, comp. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1939], p. 92; italics added).

“Never in history have women enjoyed the freedom of thought and action accorded the women of this Church. From the day of its restoration women have been accorded their full religious franchise, and in the temples of the restored Gospel a man may not partake of the highest ordinances without his wife by his side. In all life pursuits she is given her entire independence.

“This gives to woman a mighty responsibility which, if she honors and uses, will be increased in power upon her; but if she ignores it or treats it lightly or fails to magnify it, she may lose that which she now possesses and thereby forfeit her birthright. For this great privilege women of this Church should be eternally grateful and willing to use and cherish this precious and priceless relationship. Where much is given, much is expected” (Leah D. Widtsoe, Priesthood and Womanhood, as quoted in Priesthood and Church Government, comp. John A. Widtsoe, pp. 90–91).

Testimony

Let the young women know of your feelings and your gratitude for your relationship with those who hold the priesthood. Help them see that each of them can actively bless the lives of priesthood holders. When they do this, they will receive the blessings of the priesthood and have greater abilities to fulfill their own responsibilities.

Suggested Activity for Youth over Sixteen Years of Age

Invite the young men to join the young women in a special activity. Put into practice the principles taught in this lesson as you organize and complete the activity. Be sure everyone has an assignment so the activity will be a success. The activity could be one such as the following:

Have a panel discussion on ways in which young women can help young men honor and magnify their priesthood and prepare for missions.

Have a sunrise walk and breakfast.

Help the young men prepare for their missions by teaching them to prepare a basic meal.

Working with priesthood leaders, select a service project to help a member or nonmember in your area.

Learning about Family History and Temple Work

Lesson 17

The Purpose of Covenants and Ordinances

Objective

Each young woman will understand how making covenants and receiving ordinances influence her life.

Preparation

Pictures 11, Baptism (62018); 12, Sacrament (62021); and 13, Temple, located at the end of the manual.

Cut a ladder out of paper, or prepare to draw it on the chalkboard, leaving room on the rungs to write.

Assign young women to read the following scriptural references: Enos 1:15–17; Doctrine and Covenants 82:10; Doctrine and Covenants 84:19–22; Moses 6:58–59; Luke 22:19–20; fifth article of faith Articles of Faith 1:5.

Optional: Write each of the three discussion questions on pages 74–75 on separate sheets of paper. Include the scripture references and the quotation that accompanies each question.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

If it is available in your area, prepare to show “Temples Are for Eternal Covenants,” in Family Home Evening Video Supplement 2 (53277).

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Scripture assignments

Before the lesson begins, assign the scripture references. Ask the young women to be ready to read these scriptures at the appropriate points in the lesson.

Teacher presentation and discussion

Help the young women learn how important it is to understand fully the agreements we make with others. To do this, ask each young woman to imagine that someone has offered her a job after school three days a week. The salary is good, but the employer has agreed to pay her only whenever he can.

Would you want to enter into this kind of agreement? Why or why not?

What do you need to know before you enter into an agreement with another person?

Point out that in any agreement, we should have confidence in the other agreeing party. We need to know that we can trust the other person.

When We Receive Priesthood Ordinances, We Make Sacred Covenants

Teacher presentation

Explain that there is one person we can always trust to keep an agreement. When we make agreements with this person, we know they are always fair and will never fail. Agreements with this person are called covenants, and they bring us blessings of everlasting value. This person is the Lord.

Scripture

Have the assigned young woman read Enos 1:15–17.

Chalkboard

Write the word covenants on the chalkboard. Then read the following definition:

“A covenant is a binding and solemn compact, agreement, contract, or mutual promise between God and a single person or a group of chosen persons” (Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966], p. 166; italics added).

Discussion

Where can we learn the terms of our covenants with Heavenly Father?

Point out that the scriptures contain most of these terms. They explain what Heavenly Father expects from us and what he promises us in return.

Scripture

Have the assigned young woman read Doctrine and Covenants 82:10. Point out that our receiving the blessings depends on our keeping our part of the agreement. We can count on Heavenly Father to be completely reliable.

Teacher presentation

Explain that many priesthood ordinances require that we make covenants with the Lord when we receive the ordinance.

Chalkboard

Write the word ordinances on the chalkboard.

Discussion

What is an ordinance?

Use the following quotation to help the young women understand what an ordinance is:

“An ordinance is an earthly symbol of a spiritual reality. It is usually also an act of symbolizing a covenant or agreement with the Lord” (Priesthood and Church Government, comp. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1939], p. 348; italics added).

Pictures

Display the pictures of baptism, the sacrament, and a temple. Point out that baptism, the sacrament, and temple sealing are all ordinances. When we receive each of them, we show that we have made certain agreements, or covenants, with Heavenly Father.

Scriptures and discussion

Have the assigned young women read Moses 6:58–59 and Luke 22:19–20. Point out how the symbolism of the ordinances of baptism and the sacrament helps us remember our covenants.

Why are the covenants and ordinances of the gospel necessary? Why isn’t it enough to just try to be a good person?

Have the assigned young woman read Doctrine and Covenants 84:19–22.

Teacher presentation

Point out that every covenant and every ordinance of the gospel is for our good. Keeping the covenants and taking part in the ordinances helps prepare us to return to the presence of Heavenly Father. Making these covenants, receiving sacred ordinances, and being faithful in keeping our covenants is like climbing a ladder that will ultimately return us to our Heavenly Father.

Quotation and visual or chalkboard

Have a young woman read the following quotation. As she does, display the paper ladder or draw one on the chalkboard.

“When Jacob traveled from Beersheba toward Haran, he had a dream in which he saw himself on the earth at the foot of a ladder that reached to heaven where the Lord stood above it. He beheld angels ascending and descending thereon, and Jacob realized that the covenants he made with the Lord there were the rungs on the ladder that he himself would have to climb in order to obtain the promised blessing—blessings that would entitle him to enter heaven and associate with the Lord” (Marion G. Romney, “Temples—The Gates to Heaven,” Ensign, Mar. 1971, p. 16).

Discussion

Discuss what covenants might be considered as the rungs on the ladder. As the young women name the covenants, write them on the rungs of the ladder. It may be helpful to suggest that the young women think of the covenants that are made in connection with priesthood ordinances such as baptism and confirmation, partaking of the sacrament, ordination to the priesthood for young men, temple endowment, and celestial marriage. (You may wish to refer to Mosiah 18:8–10; Doctrine and Covenants 20:37; 20:75–79; 84:33–34, 39–40; 132:6.)

Discuss how receiving these ordinances and living according to the covenants will entitle us to “enter heaven and associate with the Lord.”

We Are Responsible for Keeping the Covenants We Make with the Lord

Teacher presentation

Impress upon the young women that when we make covenants with the Lord, we make sacred promises to “always remember him and keep his commandments” (D&C 20:77). Once we have made covenants with the Lord, we then are responsible to remember our promises and to keep them.

Personal experience

Relate the following experience of a young Samoan sister.

“After final instructions from my bishop and stake president, I entered the temple. What a glorious blessing to be inside that house! My eyes, ears, and heart opened wide to absorb its teachings. I felt the reality of each covenant I made within every fiber and bone of my body. I felt I was standing right in front of the Lord each time I made covenants with him. . . . It became real to me that I was surely in the world but not of it” (Sipuao J. Matuauto, “The Glorious Moments,” Ensign, Aug. 1974, p. 64).

Teacher presentation and article of faith

Emphasize that the priesthood holder who administers the ordinance actually represents the Lord. Have the assigned young woman read the fifth article of faith.

Point out that Heavenly Father knows the covenants we make. There may be times when we will feel that we are standing alone in trying to keep our covenants. But the Lord is aware of us and will be near us in our struggles to remain faithful.

Quotation and discussion

Read the following statement by an early Church leader:

“When we went forth into the waters of baptism and covenanted with our Father in Heaven to serve Him and keep His commandments, He bound Himself also by covenant to us that He would never desert us, never leave us to ourselves, never forget us, that in the midst of trials and hardships, when everything was arrayed against us, He would be near unto us and would sustain us. That was His covenant, and . . . we can tie to the promises that He has made” (George Q. Cannon, Gospel Truth, vol. 1, comp. Jerreld L. Newquist [Salt Lake City: Zion’s Book Store, 1957], p. 170).

Discuss how knowing that Heavenly Father has promised to help us will strengthen our ability and our resolve to keep the covenants we have made.

The Way We Keep the Covenants We Have Made Influences the Course of Our Lives

Story

Tell the following story to show how the covenants a girl made influenced her life.

Years ago, a young girl was baptized in a lake near her home. As she sat in her wet clothing, her father explained to her that her baptism was her first step on the way to the celestial kingdom. He taught her that she must prepare for a second step in her life, the endowment and temple marriage. He then carefully explained that when he confirmed her, she would receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. This gift would help her keep the covenants she had made.

As she was confirmed, she made a silent promise to the Lord that she would never do anything that would keep her from taking that second step. Throughout her teen years, in her decisions and when temptations were strong, she remembered her promise. Now, years later, the mother of six children, she recalls how important that promise was in helping her stay worthy to receive the endowment and celestial marriage and begin an eternal family of her own.

Discussion

Thinking about the following questions can help the young women realize how their lives will be affected by the way they keep their covenants with the Lord. You could either ask the young women to respond to each of the three questions in a class discussion, or you could divide the class into three groups and give each one a sheet of paper with a question, scripture references, and quotation (see “Preparation”). If you divide into groups, leave enough time for each group to report on the question.

Here are the questions, along with scripture references, quotations, and ideas to help you explore answers.

How is the course of your life affected if you do not make covenants? (See D&C 58:30; 132:7.) “Take two men, they may be equals in point of goodness, they may be equally moral, charitable, honest and just, but one is baptized and the other is not. There is a mighty difference between them, for one is the son of God redeemed by compliance with his laws, and the other remains in darkness” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1986], p. 97).

How is the course of your life affected if you make covenants but do not keep them? (See D&C 1:14–15; 58:29; refer to Elder Cannon’s statement on page 74.) How would life be different without the blessings Elder Cannon described?

How is the course of your life affected if you make covenants and remain faithful to them? (See D&C 54:6; Mosiah 5:7, 15.) “God . . . because of his love for us, condescended to make covenants with us, in order that we may be spared from failure, from sorrow, from regret, and that we may rise to the full heights of glory that are promised to those who are faithful and endure to the end” (ElRay L. Christiansen, in Conference Report, Oct. 1972, p. 46; or Ensign, Jan. 1973, p. 51).

Lesson Application

Suggest that each young woman use the time during the sacrament to consider the covenants she has made at baptism and to plan how she can keep them more fully in the coming week.

Lesson 18

Temple Marriage—Requirement for Eternal Family Life

Objective

Each young woman will understand that temple marriage is necessary for eternal family life.

Preparation

Picture 8, A Bride and Groom, located at the end of the manual.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

If it is available in your area, prepare to show “In This Holy Place,” on the videocassette Come unto Me (53146). If the video is shown, you may want to take two weeks giving this lesson.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Chalkboard discussion

Show the young women the picture of a bride and groom. Write wedding on the chalkboard and ask the young women to suggest as many single words as possible to describe what the picture and the word wedding mean to them. Quickly list the words on the chalkboard. This list may include such words as wedding gown, happiness, ring, eternity, temple recommend, flowers, bridesmaids, love, worthiness, honeymoon, ceremony, gifts, friends, family, authority, and reception.

Erase the word wedding from the chalkboard and write temple marriage in its place. Explain to the young women that there is a difference between a temple marriage and a wedding celebration. There are many ways to celebrate a wedding, such as holding a reception and giving gifts. But the temple marriage itself is a sacred ceremony—a covenant between the bride, the groom, and the Lord. The bride covenants with the groom and with the Lord; the groom covenants with the bride and with the Lord; and the bride and groom together covenant with the Lord. Ask the young women to identify the words on the list that describe a temple marriage and not the wedding celebration. Draw a circle around these words. Ask the young women if they would like to add other words to the list.

Picture and teacher presentation

Refer to the picture of the bride and groom and explain that a temple marriage is not performed with the pomp and ceremony often associated with large church weddings. It takes place in a small, simple, beautiful sealing room. The couple kneel facing each other across an altar in the presence of family and close friends who hold temple recommends. A man with authority to seal them for time and eternity gives them counsel. Then he performs the sealing ordinance.

Discussion

Ask the young women to list reasons that some young people give for not being married in the temple. Some of these reasons are given below. Quickly consider each of these along with any other reasons class members may give.

Some do not understand the importance of temple marriage.

Some marry too young.

Some do not want to wear garments.

Some are unworthy (morally unclean, do not keep the Word of Wisdom, do not pay tithing, etc.).

Some have parents, family members, relatives, or friends who would not be able to come to the wedding.

Some marry a nonmember.

Some aren’t sure enough of their love that they want to be married for eternity.

Now ask the young women to list reasons that young people give for wanting to be married in the temple. Some of these reasons are given below. Quickly consider each of these along with any other reasons class members may give.

It is a commandment of God.

Heavenly Father has promised many blessings to those who marry in his house and live according to the covenants made there.

It is the only way to have a husband and wife and family together in the hereafter.

It can allow us to dwell in the presence of God, in the highest degree of glory in the celestial kingdom.

The parents have taught and wish for a temple marriage for their children.

Friends are being married in the temple.

The couple love each other so much they want to be together forever.

Each partner can know the other partner values the gospel.

Each partner can be assured the other partner is chaste and virtuous.

Temple Marriage Is an Eternal Ordinance

Story

Read the following statement by Elder Bruce R. McConkie:

“My wife and I were having a serious discussion recently in which we were counting our many blessings. We named a host of things that have come to us, because of the Church, because of our family, because of the glorious restoration of eternal truth that has taken place in this day; and then she climaxed the discussion by asking this question: ‘What’s the greatest blessing that has ever come into your life?’

“Without a moment’s hesitation I said, ‘The greatest blessing that has ever come to me was on the thirteenth day of October in 1937 at 11:20 a.m. when I was privileged to kneel in the Salt Lake Temple at the Lord’s altar and receive you as an eternal companion.’

“She said, ‘Well, you passed that test.’

“I believe that the most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority; and that then—when they have been so sealed by the power and authority that Elijah the prophet restored—the most important remaining thing that any Latter-day Saint can ever do is so to live that the terms and conditions of the covenant thus made will be binding and efficacious now and forever” (“Agency or Inspiration?” New Era, Jan. 1975, p. 38).

Teacher presentation

Explain that the power that binds a man and woman together for eternity is the priesthood. When a man and woman are married in the temple, they make a covenant, or promise, by the power of the priesthood to their Father in Heaven that they will live righteous lives and keep his commandments. Their Father in Heaven covenants that they, with their children, will be together as a family throughout eternity. Heavenly Father also promises the couple many other special blessings if they are righteous and keep his commandments.

Discussion

Why is marrying the right person, in the right place, by the right authority the single most important thing that a person can do in this life?

How important is marriage?

Why does Heavenly Father expect his sons and daughters to be married in the temple?

Is there any power other than the priesthood that can seal a man and woman for eternity?

How can temple marriage help a husband and wife progress eternally?

If a couple is married by civil authority, is the marriage contract binding throughout eternity? Why not?

Teacher presentation

Explain that Heavenly Father has commanded his sons and daughters to marry in the temple. President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Only through celestial marriage can one find the straight way, the narrow path. Eternal life cannot be had in any other way. The Lord was very specific and very definite in the matter of marriage” (“Marriage—The Proper Way,” New Era, Feb. 1976, p. 6). To continue as husband and wife throughout eternity, a couple must be married by priesthood authority in the house of the Lord and then live according to covenants they made in the temple.

Now Is the Time to Prepare for Temple Marriage

Quotations and discussion

Read and discuss the following two quotations from former Presidents of the Church:

“I believe that no worthy young Latter-day Saint man or woman should spare any reasonable effort to come to a house of the Lord to begin life together. The marriage vows taken in these hallowed places and the sacred covenants entered into for time and all eternity are proof against many of the temptations of life that tend to break homes and destroy happiness.

“The blessings and promises that come from beginning life together, for time and eternity, in a temple of the Lord, cannot be obtained in any other way and worthy young Latter-day Saint men and women who so begin life together find that their eternal partnership under the everlasting covenant becomes the foundation upon which are built peace, happiness, virtue, love, and all of the other eternal verities of life, here and hereafter” (Heber J. Grant, “Presidents of the Church Speak on Temple Marriage,” New Era, June 1971, p. 8).

“Now, the seeds of a happy married life are sown in youth. Happiness does not begin at the altar; it begins during the period of youth and courtship. These seeds of happiness are sown by your ability to master your driving passions. Chastity should be the dominant virtue among young people. In the Church there is but a single standard. It applies to the boys as well as to the girls. If you follow that standard—indeed, if you will listen to the promptings of your own true heart—you will learn that self-mastery during youth and compliance with the single standard of morality is the source of virile manhood, the crown of beautiful womanhood, the foundation of a happy home, and a contributing factor to the strength and perpetuity of the race.

“Laxity in youth is as a personal note that must be paid in age. Twenty, thirty, forty years hence, you must pay it. Mastery and chastity are also seeds sown which will pay large dividends in years hence, and those years pass quickly—oh, so quickly” (David O. McKay, “The Choice of an Eternal Companion,” Improvement Era, Apr. 1965, p. 285).

Joy Can Come to a Young Woman through Temple Marriage

Story and discussion

Read or tell the following story:

“It all began that first Sunday in March. Or did it? I guess it couldn’t really have had a beginning, because Karen, Emily, and I have been best friends forever. Whether celebrating birthdays and knitting identical purses in Primary as young girls or marching on the drill team and double- or triple-dating in high school, our vastly different personalities somehow seemed to complement each other, and for 15 years we were practically inseparable.

“After high school graduation, though, things began changing in our gleesome threesome. Karen and Emily lived at home and attended the university, while I lived three hours away in a small state college dorm with five strangers. After enduring so much together, we wondered what a few miles could possibly do to our great friendship. But we soon knew. . . .

“I realized that our special communication had vanished, but I was still shocked one day to open my mail and find a wedding announcement from Emily. Even more surprising was the absence of the word temple in the announcement.

“I rushed home that weekend and headed straight for Emily’s. There we talked—talked in the almost forgotten way we had that eternal year ago. She had only known Ted two months, but he was the most handsome, intelligent, popular guy on campus. They would both finish college, and then Ted would go on to dental school. His folks had already agreed to help them with expenses, so that would be no problem. After he graduated, Emily joked, all they would have to do is sit around and rake up the money.

“Once again I had begun to feel close to Emily, when suddenly, I heard myself wondering out loud why there had been no mention of the temple on her announcement. ‘Well, we can’t,’ she said, her flippant attitude not quite covering the concern I sensed. ‘Ted’s a Baptist in the first place, and besides, we want to be married in his parents’ ski lodge and write our own ceremony. A wedding should be really personal and meaningful, not just the same words for everyone. Ted will join the Church someday. But even if he doesn’t, my dad’s not a member and it hasn’t stopped my mother from being active. It won’t stop me either.’

“By the time Emily was through with her well-practiced little spiel, her defiance had built a wall between us once again. What could I say? After a few moments of fumbling chatter to try to ease the discomfort, I said goodbye.”

Pause in the story and have the young women consider this question:

If you were Emily’s friend, what would you say to her?

Continue with the story:

“Three weeks later I attended Ted and Emily’s ski lodge wedding. Contrary to my expectations, it was a very striking event—though not religious in any way. They both read poetry to each other for the ceremony, while a flute played lightly in the background. After there was dancing, with punch for us Mormons and champagne for the others. Ted’s parents were super rich, I could tell, and they had just about planned the whole wedding. They were deliriously happy with their new daughter-in-law (and probably a little from the champagne, too). But I noticed Emily’s mom had really red and swollen eyes—like she’d been crying a lot. Mothers are that way—especially when it’s their only child.

“Surprisingly enough, Emily did stay active in the Church. With all her school work and married duties, she attended her meetings faithfully and also served as the assistant librarian. She and Ted lived in an apartment in our ward and I saw her quite often. She always gave me glowing reports of marriage and told how great Ted was to her. ‘What a life,’ I thought.

“Six months later Karen married a returned missionary who was just completing his master’s degree in education. They were married in the Logan Temple, so I couldn’t go, of course. But I did attend the reception in our cultural hall, and it was really beautiful. . . .

“I kept seeing Emily now, coming to church radiant and excited about everything she was doing. ‘No problems at all,’ she would say. ‘He’s really very liberal. “You go to your church and I’ll go to mine.” Only he doesn’t even go to his.’ But in the back of my mind I could also see Emily when we were younger: praying her nonmember dad would baptize her, wondering if her dad would take her to the Primary daddy-daughter party, trying to pretend it didn’t matter when he went golfing instead of coming to her seminary graduation. But then childhood is such a small part of life. What difference does it really make in the long run?

“Karen and Emily, still doing things together, had baby girls within a week of each other. I took a pink dress to Emily’s little girl and absolutely fell in love with her. Karen’s mother told me in church one day that Karen, David, and their little Melissa would be coming in March to show off the baby and get her blessed where Grandpa and all three of Karen’s adoring older brothers could stand in the circle.

“Then came the first Sunday in March. . . .

“As I made my way . . . into the chapel, I met Emily and her baby in the foyer. It was her first time back to church since Julie’s birth. We talked for a minute and then entered the chapel. Emily and her mother sat in the row in front of me. . . .

“Through the rows of heads and shoulders that I saw from my position on the fourth row from the back, I caught a glimpse of Karen and the rest of her family taking up an entire center bench. . . .

“After the songs and announcements were over and after we had taken the sacrament, Bishop Edwards stood behind the pulpit and said, ‘This afternoon we have a special treat. I know many of you have known Karen Evans since she was a little girl.’ Emily looked back at me and winked knowingly, but then turned her head sharply forward as the bishop went on. ‘Well, this afternoon Karen, now Karen Sanders, has brought her own little girl to receive a name and a blessing from her husband. Assisting in the circle will be her father and brothers.’

“As I watched David take his little girl from Karen and carry her almost reverently to the front, I could see a side view of Emily. Tears were rapidly filling her deep blue eyes and streaming down her face onto Julie’s downy head. Her shoulders shook violently as she buried her head in her baby’s neck. Emily’s mother tenderly put her arm around her daughter’s throbbing shoulders, and I could see that she, too, was crying. Emily looked up, and I heard her gasp in a desperate whisper, ‘Oh, Mama! Who is going to bless my baby?’

“‘I bless you, Melissa, with a sound mind and body,’ I heard David Sanders say at the front of the room, ‘and that you will live a righteous life, that when the time comes, you will meet a choice son of our Father in heaven, one who honors his priesthood and who will take you to the temple of the Lord to be sealed to him for eternity.’ Through the entire blessing and for the rest of the meeting, Julie’s baby shawl absorbed her tears.

“And now, even though a year has passed . . . whenever . . . I see a mother and baby alone, something grabs at my heart. For I keep seeing Emily” (Carolyn White Zaugg, “I Keep Seeing Emily,” New Era, June 1975, pp. 26–29).

Conclusion

Quotation

Read the following statement from Elder Boyd K. Packer:

“I picture you coming to the temple to be sealed for time and for all eternity. I yearn to talk to you about the sacred sealing ordinance, but this we do not do outside those sacred walls. The transcendent nature of all that is conferred upon us at the marriage altar is so marvelous it is worth all the waiting and all the resisting. . . .

“But this is not the fulfillment of the story of love. In the book, or the play, on the stage, the curtain comes down here. But it is not so in real love. This is not the conclusion—only the beginning” (Eternal Love [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1973], p. 20).

Lesson 19

Personal Records

Objective

Each young woman will realize the importance of keeping a personal record.

Preparation

Prepare one copy of each of the two sets of questions at the beginning of the lesson. Include the scriptural references but not the answers.

Be prepared to tell the young women about one of your ancestors and how this person has influenced your life; or have a visitor, who has been approved by priesthood advisers, tell the class about an ancestor.

Assign two or three young women to tell briefly about one of their grandparents or great-grandparents and how this person has affected their lives.

Prepare a handout of the quotations at the conclusion of the lesson to give to each class member.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

See the end of the lesson for an optional family history activity.

Suggested Lesson Development

Heavenly Father Commands His Children to Keep Personal Records

Quiz

Divide the class into two groups. Be sure each group has a set of scriptures and a pencil. Give one group the questions and scriptural references for set A below and the other group the same for set B. Allow about five minutes for the young women to answer the questions.

Questions—Set A

Who recorded the first information in a book of remembrance? (Moses 6:5–8.)

Name two other Old Testament prophets who kept books of remembrance. (Moses 6:45–46; Malachi 3:16.)

When priesthood ordinances such as baptism and temple marriage are performed, where are records kept? (D&C 128:7.)

What is one reason for keeping a journal or personal history? (2 Nephi 25:23.)

When Christ appeared to the Nephites, he learned that some important events had not been written in their records. What did he command the people to do? (3 Nephi 23:6–13.)

Answers for Set A

Adam

Enoch and Malachi

On earth and in heaven

To persuade our children to believe in Christ

To write the events they had neglected to record

Questions—Set B

How do we know that Jesus is a descendant of David and Abraham? (Matthew 1:1.)

Why did Nephi and his brothers go back to the home of Laban? (1 Nephi 3:1–4.)

Why did Nephi keep a record of his life as he and his father’s family left Jerusalem and traveled to America? (1 Nephi 1:1–3.)

Who taught Adam and his children how to keep a book of remembrance? (Moses 6:46.)

How did Abraham gain a knowledge of the rights of the priesthood and of the Creation? (Abraham 1:31.)

Answers for Set B

This information is recorded in the Bible.

To get the records of the Jews and the genealogy of their forefathers.

Because he had a knowledge of the goodness and mysteries of God.

They were taught by the hand of the Lord.

It was written in the records of his fathers.

Discussion

Have each group report the answers to their set of questions to the class. After the young women have given the answers to the quiz, ask the entire class to respond to the following:

What kind of information did Moses, Nephi, and Abraham keep in their books of remembrance? (The names of family members, important events, personal testimonies, prophecies of things to come, blessings they received from their Father in Heaven, and commandments they received.)

Why is it important to keep a personal record? (Through a personal record, a person can share with her descendants events in her life, her testimony, her thoughts and feelings, and a record of Heavenly Father’s blessings to her.)

How do you know that Heavenly Father wants you to keep a record of your life? (Since the beginning of time, he has commanded his children to keep personal records of their lives. And modern prophets have encouraged us to keep journals throughout our lives.)

Records of Progenitors Can Bring Joy and Strength

Story

Read or tell the following fictional story:

“Great-Uncle Benjamin had died over 30 years ago and some of his belongings were packed away in the old trunks in the farmhouse attic.

“‘I wonder why Grandpa saved [Great-Uncle’s things] for all these years,’ John grumbled as he helped sort through it with his mother and sister. Grandpa had died a few weeks before and Jennie Lynn, his only surviving daughter, and her two children had come to clean out the old family home.

“John threw a shapeless felt hat into a large barrel in the center of the room. ‘Man, do you ever wonder if your family tree has blight attacking its roots? I mean, what in the world would they want to save all this junk for? Look at this old dilapidated book for instance: Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded. Brother!’

“‘That,’ replied his sister Alice calmly, ‘is a copy of the first English novel ever written. Kindly place it carefully in the “save” box.’

“‘Well, what about this? A partially used notebook? Who in their right mind would save that? . . .’

“Jennie walked over and looked at the book John was holding. . . .

“‘Can you make out what it says?’ Alice asked, joining her mother and brother.

“‘Easy,’ John replied as he sat down and started to read, skipping pages here and there.

“May 4, 1888 . . .

“‘Hey, it looks like a diary or a journal or something!’

“May 4, 1888: Mother locked my violin in the cedar chest again this morning. She says it’s too big a temptation for me before the cows are milked. She’s right, I suppose. It’s a good thing the other boys are more diligent than I or we’d never be able to feed all eight of us from these few acres. If Father were still alive we’d manage better.

“September 3, 1888: Mr. Carter told Mother today that he has taught me all he knows and I need a more advanced teacher. There is a Sister Kendall over in Coalville who is supposed to have played at one time with the Philadelphia orchestra before joining the Church and moving west. Mother promised I could ask her if she would take me as a pupil. The only trouble is going to be how much she will charge for lessons. I am to be allowed to take charge of the chickens and keep the egg money to pay for my music. . . .

“April 8, 1892: I realized today that there are three things I love better than all else: the Lord, my family, and my music. And I know now that the love of one thing does not necessarily preclude the love of another. When they’re all good things, they all go together.

“December 1, 1892: It’s terribly late, but I can’t sleep. I’ve been copying music all evening with Mother’s help. I’ve been asked to travel down to Salt Lake to audition for a place with the territorial orchestra. . . .

“March 5, 1893: After several weeks of practicing interspersed with hours of prayers, I went down to Salt Lake and auditioned. Mr. Dean, the conductor, told me I was the most accomplished violinist he had heard west of Denver. There probably aren’t too many west of Denver that he has heard, but Mother was pleased when I told her. I am to be in Denver for rehearsals early in the fall, and I’ll be earning enough to keep myself plus a little to spare for Mother and the others. Sunday in sacrament meeting I’m to play the Mozart selection I learned for the tryouts.

“March 11, 1893: Why has this happened now? Why just at this point in my life? After sacrament meeting on Sunday, Bishop Reynolds called me into his office and asked me how the tryouts had gone. I told him that I had been hired, and he asked me if I couldn’t put off playing with the orchestra for a couple of years. He explained to me that before I start earning money, there is something else I owe the Lord. With ‘no doubt’ in his mind that it is the will of the Lord, he asked me to accept a mission call. I know I owe everything I have to my God, and a couple of years away from my violin shouldn’t be too much to ask, but I think it’s giving up almost more than I can bear. Still I knew the uncertainty in my own heart was more dread than doubt so I promised the bishop that if there was any way for us to raise the money, I would accept the call. . . .

“March 13, 1893: Last night I told Mother about the mission call. She was overjoyed. Father had always wanted to serve a mission, she said, but he had been killed before being able to. Now I could fill a mission in his place. When I asked her how we were going to raise the money, her face clouded. Explaining to her that I would not allow her to sell any more of the land, I told her of the conditional promise I had given the bishop. She looked at me quietly for a moment and then she said, ‘Ben, there is a way we can raise the money. This family owns one thing that is of great enough value to send you on your mission. You will have to sell your violin.’

“March 17, 1893: The promise must be kept, and there is a way. Next Monday, I will go to Salt Lake and sell my violin. If I am able to raise the needed sum for my passage, I will leave immediately on my mission. I have made my decision and I am at peace.

“March 23, 1893: I awoke this morning and took my violin from its case. All day long I played the music I love. In the evening when the light grew dim and I could see to play no longer, I placed the instrument in its case. It will be enough. Tomorrow I leave.

“‘That’s it,’ John said unbelievingly. ‘It ends right there. There’s no more. What happened? Did he come back and get another violin? Did he? Was he ever able to play in a symphony orchestra? Mom, do you know what happened?’

“‘I don’t know, John,’ his mother responded quietly. ‘I suppose there’s somebody around who does, but I don’t really mind having the story end there. You already know the most important thing about him.’

“‘Wait!’ yelped John. ‘Look, there’s a little more writing at the back of the notebook.’ He glanced at the short entry, coughed a little to cover the other sound that almost escaped from his throat, and handed the book to Jennie. ‘You, Mom,’ he said, afraid to trust himself with any more words.

“Jennie took the book, moved closer to the small gabled window to catch the fading light, and looked at the page. The hand that wrote these words was not quite as steady or as firm as the one that started the journal, but the letters were still carefully and evenly formed. She read:

“June 23, 1938: The greatest decision I ever made in my life was to give up something I dearly loved to the God I loved even more. He has never forgotten me for it. Benjamin Landart” (Karen Nolen, “Benjamin: Son of the Right Hand,” New Era, May 1974, pp. 35–37).

Discussion

From the experience of Alice and John, what can we learn about keeping a journal?

What did Alice and John learn about their great-uncle from his journal?

How do you think Alice and John felt about their great-uncle after reading his journal?

How could Benjamin Landart’s journal have brought happiness to his own life?

How can a personal journal bless the lives of an individual’s children and grandchildren?

Do you know some interesting things about your parents’ lives when they were about your age?

Do you like to hear them talk about their childhood, how they met and married, and about you when you were young?

How can knowledge about the lives of your parents or any of your ancestors help you to live more valiantly today?

Teacher presentation

Explain that through reading their great-uncle’s journal, Alice and John learned about Benjamin Landart’s family and personal interests. They also learned of his love for his Heavenly Father. As they learned about his life, their love for him grew. A journal can help us remember events in our own lives. Keeping a personal record can bring joy to our children and grandchildren.

One young woman commented, “It’s a tradition in our family to keep a personal journal. . . . During some of our family home evenings my dad reads us accounts from my great-grandpa’s journal, and that really inspires me to keep one. If my descendants get half the enjoyment I’ve received from reading my grandparents’ journals, it will be well worth my time to keep it up” (Laura Call, quoted in Kathleen Lubeck, “A Journal Called Lucy,” New Era, Nov. 1981, p. 40).

Personal stories

Share with the young women a story about one of your ancestors and tell how this experience from someone else’s life has influenced you, or have the visitor share an experience. Then ask the young women who have prepared a story about their grandparents or great-grandparents to relate these stories to the class members.

Conclusion

Quotations and handout

Distribute the handout of the following statements by President Spencer W. Kimball and have them read aloud:

“We urge our young people to begin today to write and keep records of all the important things in their own lives” (“The Angels May Quote from It,” New Era, Oct. 1975, p. 4).

“I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to your families, to your children, your grandchildren, and others, on through the generations. Each of us is important to those who are near and dear to us and as our posterity read of our life’s experiences, they, too, will come to know and love us. And in that glorious day when our families are together in the eternities, we will already be acquainted” (“President Kimball Speaks Out on Personal Journals,” New Era, Dec. 1980, p. 26).

Optional family history activity

Finding Your Ancestors with FamilySearch™

Objective

Each member of the class will learn what FamilySearch is, how it can help her identify her ancestors, and what she can do to help make it more useful.

Description

This activity will take the young women to a site where FamilySearch is available.

Preparation

In preparation, the class adviser would determine where the activity will be held. Depending on local circumstances, this could be at the family history center, the stake center, a local meetinghouse, or a member’s home. If possible, select a location that has more than one FamilySearch workstation so that more than one young woman can be working at a time. You may want to ask the ward family history consultant to help with this part of the lesson.

Note: If the class is very large, it may be wise to divide it into smaller groups.

Plan additional parts to the activity. While some young women are using FamilySearch, the others could learn about family record extraction and then participate in an extraction project. This should be coordinated with the ward family record extraction coordinator. Other activities might include instruction about temples or games that help the young women focus their attention on their ancestors.

Before the activity, assign the young women to work with their parents to fill out a pedigree chart as far back as they can.

Identify Our Ancestors’ Family History Work

Activity

Tell the young women that we seek to identify our ancestors to give them the same opportunities to be sealed within the family of God as we receive here in this life. The saving ordinances (baptism, priesthood ordination for men, the endowment, and sealing) allow us to enter the celestial kingdom if we are worthy.

FamilySearch is a computer system that enables people to find information about their ancestors and send their names to the temple. When an ancestor’s name is typed into the computer, FamilySearch scans quickly through millions of names in its computer files, finding names that match. It guides a person from the names to full screens of information, such as dates and places of birth, marriage, and death; and names of parents, children, and spouses.

The information in FamilySearch comes from such sources as family genealogies, church records, and government records.

FamilySearch consists of several files of information. The one that will be most helpful to the youth is Ancestral File. This file contains family history information contributed by members of the Church and others throughout the world. It contains the names of millions of persons linked in family groups and pedigrees.

Note: The adviser can illustrate to the young women the importance of people contributing their family history information by holding up a “book of remembrance” full of pedigree charts and family group records. The adviser can explain that the information in the book is very valuable but that in this printed format it is useful to only a few people. However, by converting this information to a computer format (using the Personal Ancestral File computer program), it can be included in Ancestral File, where many others would benefit from it.

The adviser should also point out that Ancestral File is not complete. It has much information, but there is much more that could be added—including the information the young women may have about their own ancestors.

Ancestral File also includes the names and addresses of the people who have contributed information to it. This way the young women may be able to discover cousins and relatives they have never met.

To further help the young women understand the significance of FamilySearch, the adviser could explain that without the computer they would have to look through rolls of microfilm and pages of books to find information about their ancestors. For many who have done this, it has taken numerous hours of work. The computer makes it possible to search the same information in just minutes.

Have the young women practice using FamilySearch to find information about their ancestors. Help them call up names on their pedigree chart. If there is nothing about their ancestors in Ancestral File, remind them that they can do a great service by making sure the information on their pedigree charts is contributed to the file.

As the young women use FamilySearch, they should print out information they find. In Ancestral File, they could print out a pedigree chart.

After all the young women have had a chance to use FamilySearch, review what they have accomplished. Challenge them to continue to find information about their ancestors and to contribute the information to Ancestral File.

Postactivity

There may be members of the ward who have large collections of family history information in printed format (books of remembrance). The young women could perform valuable service by computerizing the information and helping members contribute it to Ancestral File. For this to work, a sufficient number of personal computers with Personal Ancestral File would need to be available. Ward family history consultants could assist the young women leaders in organizing such a service project.

Being Involved in Missionary Work

Lesson 20

Reach Out to Others

Objective

Each young woman will extend friendship to young women of her own age and encourage them to take part in Church activities and meetings.

Preparation

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction: Find the Similarity

Case studies

Read the following situations aloud to the young women. Have them try to find one thing that is missing in each situation. (A friend—someone who cares.)

A man, lying robbed and beaten at the side of the road, is ignored by those who pass by.

A young woman wears clothing that is old, faded, and too large. She walks to school day after day alone while others her age walk in groups a short distance ahead of her.

A young man remains home every Sunday because he feels nobody in his priesthood quorum really cares about him.

We Can Be Friends with Many Kinds of People

Fable

Two dogs were playing at the side of the road one day when a cat wandered by. “May I join you in your play?” asked the cat.

“No!” came the rough reply from one of the dogs, and the cat continued down the road.

“Why did you do that?” the other dog asked.

“Dogs don’t play with that kind of animal. Cats are different than we are. They make strange noises and want to climb trees all the time. I want to play with someone more like me.”

A few minutes later a lonely looking turtle plodded slowly down the road. He too stopped and asked the dogs if he could join in their fun. Again the one dog said no, and so the turtle proceeded on again.

“And why couldn’t he play?” his friend inquired of him.

“Did you see how he looked? He doesn’t look like us, and he’s slow too. He probably couldn’t run as fast as we could or chase things the way we do. I want someone more like me.”

“Oh,” said his friend.

Minutes passed and a gray rabbit came hopping down the road. He noticed the two dogs at play and stopped to see if he might be included. He too was rejected. He, however, wanted to know why he could not play.

The dog who had refused him stopped playing and looked at the rabbit.

“You’re different from me. You aren’t the same color. You don’t look the same. You don’t do the same things. You don’t sound the same. I want someone more like me.”

“What do you like to do?” the rabbit asked.

“I like to run and jump,” was his reply.

“Well . . .” said the rabbit.

Pause here and ask the young women to suggest how the fable ended. Then conclude the fable:

The rabbit challenged the two dogs to a race in the nearby woods. At the end of the course the rabbit was far ahead. He turned and waited for the dogs to catch up with him.

“I like to run and jump too,” said the rabbit.

“You look different and you sound different than we do, but you’re just the same in some ways,” said the second dog. “We just didn’t know you.”

Discussion

How could you relate this story to your own life?

Why did the first dog not want to play with any of the other animals?

Why did the dogs eventually play with the rabbit?

How could you apply these ideas in your life?

Can you think of any young women in your area who might need a friend?

How do you find out if they might have similar interests?

Teacher presentation

Explain that sometimes we ignore others and do not include them in our associations because of their different color, clothes, or habits. We need to take time to know them better and to discover their good qualities and our similar interests.

We Can Reach Out to Others

Scripture discussion

Explain that Jesus had much concern for those who were lost. In one parable he tells of a lost coin. Have the class turn to Luke 15:8–10 in their Bibles. Ask one of the young women to read the parable.

Point out that the lost coin in this parable could be compared to a person who is lonely or lost. The woman could be compared to one who misses and actively seeks out this person. Reread the parable verse by verse and discuss how it could apply to young women who do not have many friends or do not come to church regularly. Have the young women explain how the Lord can tell when we are really concerned about someone else.

Case studies and discussion

Ask the young women to discuss what might be done to help a class member become a participating member of the Church. Emphasize that feeling and showing real concern is important. Present the following situations to the young women and have them solve the problems:

You meet a less-active classmate in a store. You want to show her that you are interested in her. What do you do?

You invite a less-active friend to class. She hesitates before giving an answer. Then she says that maybe she’ll come sometime. What could you do?

You invite a less-active friend to your Young Women class. She says she does not want to go and have people stare at her because she is attending church. What should you do and say?

You encourage a less-active member to attend class, and she replies that she does not like the meetings. What would you do?

You ask a less-active member to class and she says no. What could you do?

Teacher presentation

Point out that there is not one right answer for many of the situations that young women encounter when trying to encourage a less-active member to attend church. It is important to show concern and interest for the individual in each situation. A caring attitude can overcome many difficulties and affect someone more than anything else.

Chalkboard discussion

Draw three candles on the chalkboard as shown below:

Point to the first candle with a full flame. Tell the young women that this candle might represent them. Write the word you beneath the first candle. Explain to the young women that the second candle represents a less-active member—one whose flame was once lit but has temporarily gone out. Through the power of a lighted candle the second candle can be relit. The relighting of the candle might represent bringing a less-active person into greater activity. Draw a flame on the second candle.

Who do you feel the third candle might represent? (A nonmember.)

Scripture discussion

The third candle has never been lit, but if it is touched by a source already on fire, it can glow like the other two candles. Point out that the candles are basically the same with all the parts necessary to burn, but they need an outside source to start a flame. People are also basically the same, but if they are touched by the Holy Ghost, they can become a light to the world, like the candle. Have a class member turn to Doctrine and Covenants 103:9 and read what the Lord has said about the Saints.

What are some ways that we can be a light for someone else? (List class responses on the chalkboard to the side of the candles. Possible responses might include going on a mission, or being a light through example, friendship, fellowship, and service.)

Draw a flame on the third candle.

Story

Share the following story of someone who was the source used to light another’s candle in the gospel:

“She was my best friend, the one I had grown up with and known since that first frightful day of first grade. Since then we had shared everything from doll cradles and humpty-dumpty cookies to high school classes and slumber parties. There was only one big difference between us. You see, she did not yet know the truth and I did.

“It took me 12 long years to realize that the gospel belonged not only to me but to her too and that it was through me that she might be able to find it.

“I took my problem to our missionaries, thinking I would give the job to them; but I was fooled.

“‘You ask her and we’ll teach her,’ they said.

“Teaching her seemed to be no problem. I had the most difficult job of all.

“I called her on the phone.

“‘Hey, how would you like to come and see a movie at my house tonight?’ I said. ‘The new missionaries in our ward are showing it.’

“She came. She saw the film and left without saying much about it.

“A week later the elders dropped by. ‘Have you set up a time when she can hear the gospel?’ they asked.

“‘Well, she hasn’t really said much about the movie. I didn’t know whether to ask her again or not.’

“‘Call her and ask her,’ said one. He was the type who hated wasting time. Well, I couldn’t argue with an elder, so hesitantly, shakily, I picked up the receiver and dialed. I’ve always wondered why things like this are so hard.

“‘Hi, Cheryl,’ I said. ‘I was wondering . . . well, the elders are here now and . . . well, I was just wondering if sometime you’d like to come and . . . learn some more about the Church?’

“There was a long pause.

“‘Well, yeah, I guess so.’

“I breathed a sigh of relief. ‘When can you come?’

“‘Anytime you want me to, I guess.’

“‘Tomorrow night?’

“‘Yeah, that’s all right.’

“I turned to the elders. ‘Is tomorrow night all right?’

“They nodded enthusiastically. . . .

“‘Hey thanks, Cheryl,’ I said as I started to hang up.

“‘Just a minute, Patti,’ she said. ‘I want you to know that I’m not going to agree with what they say.’

“‘Oh, that’s okay. Just come!’

“‘But I might argue with them, and I don’t want to.’

“‘If you want to disagree with them, it’s all right. They don’t mind.’

“The second step was taken.

“By the end of the fourth visit she hadn’t argued once. In fact, she had agreed wholeheartedly with everything the elders had told her. That night the younger elder was speaking, and as he closed he looked at her and said, ‘We would like to set up a baptism for you on Saturday. How about it?’

“The older elder gasped. He hadn’t expected it to come so soon. My heart beat faster, and all I could do was hold my breath. There was silence for a moment.

“Cheryl nodded and said, ‘Yes.’

“I did not move, but I started to tremble when they asked her to pray.

“She prayed, a very simple and beautiful prayer.

“I kept my head bowed. I could not look up. The missionaries left in silence.

“Then I felt her arms around me, and we both wept together.

“‘Patti,’ she said, smiling through her tears, ‘thank you.’

“She was thanking me for something she could only give herself, thanking me, when she had given me the greatest gift I could ever hope to receive—her acceptance of my most precious possession, the gospel of Jesus Christ” (Patti Wiltbank, “The First Step Was the Hardest,” New Era, Jan. 1976, pp. 18–19).

Conclusion

Teacher presentation

Point to the candles on the chalkboard. Explain that the Lord has said we should not hide our light under a bushel (see Matthew 5:15–16). We should share it with others. The light of one young woman does make a difference.

Testimony

Bear witness to the young women that if they will honestly try to extend friendship to others, the Lord will bless them for their efforts. Encourage them to conscientiously share their light with others.

Lesson Application

Invite the young women to choose a person that they, as a class, would like to reactivate or introduce to the gospel. Have them develop a plan to do this. Have a class member take notes of the ideas as they are discussed. Choose an item from the list of ideas that the young women can begin working on now.

Lesson 21

A Righteous Example Influences Others

Objective

Each young woman will set a righteous example for others.

Preparation

On separate sheets of paper, prepare a copy of the following scriptures: John 13:15; 1 Timothy 4:12; 1 Peter 2:21; Matthew 5:16.

Become familiar with the statements and stories in the lesson.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

A Righteous Example Can Influence Others

Story

Read the following statement by Sister Ardeth G. Kapp:

“When you keep the commandments and follow the Savior’s example, it’s like holding up a light. Your good example helps others to find their way in a darkening world. It takes courage to do what you know to be right even when it is hard, very hard. But you will never lose your courage unless you choose to” (“Stand for Truth and Righteousness,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, p. 94).

Tell the following true story:

“I’m 17-years-old and have been a member of the Church since I was eight. Living the gospel has never really been a problem for me until just the other day, when I had an unforgettable experience with a boy named Craig.

“. . . One day in algebra class, [a certain group of guys] decided to be especially rude to Craig, who sits right next to me. Craig is quiet, and he’s not the smartest guy in the class, so these guys loved to make fun of him. One day they decided to pass the word around that everybody in class was to ignore Craig. I usually helped him with the problems he didn’t understand, so when I heard their plan, I didn’t know what to do.

“. . . A few minutes before class let out, Craig leaned over and asked me how to do a certain problem. Every person in the room turned to see how I’d handle it. My heart started pounding, and my palms became moist. I wanted to do the kind thing by answering him, but I could just feel the pressure mounting as all my classmates waited for me to snub him.

“I felt my face getting hot and I knew it was red as I turned to Craig and explained how to do the problem. That was it. As soon as class was out, the guys started calling me names and really letting me have it. I couldn’t believe we were in high school. It felt like first grade, and I wanted to cry. But deep down inside I knew I’d done the right thing.

“The next day I dreaded going back to my algebra class. But when I got there, the same boys met me and told me they wanted to try the same trick again and begged me to go along with it. By that time though, I knew that what I’d done the day before was right, and there was no way I was going to play their game.

“When I told them so, I got the surprise of my life. My best friend, who sat nearby, told them she wasn’t going to cooperate with them either. Several other people joined us, and soon just about everyone in the class decided their plan was childish and stupid. Before the end of the class, everyone was talking to Craig, and even the boys who had started the whole thing were discussing some of the problems with him.

“From all this I learned that being a good example is not quite as easy as it seems, but one person can make a big difference. If you have enough courage and enough faith, you can influence a whole group when the pressure’s on” (Stephanie Christensen, “When the Pressure Is On,” New Era, Jan. 1988, pp. 8–9).

Discussion

Ask the following questions. Allow time for several young women to respond to each question.

Why should we always try to set a good example, even when it is difficult?

What help is available to you when setting a good example?

How can you influence your friends for good?

Teacher presentation

Explain that members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have a great responsibility to reach out and set a good example. We know what is right and wrong and have the assurance that our Heavenly Father will always be with us when we do what is right. It is far better to be close to Heavenly Father by keeping his commandments than it is to be popular with other people by disobeying the commandments.

Discussion

Invite the young women to share times when they have been influenced for good by someone else or when they have influenced another person for good. You may want to relate some experiences of your own.

Ask several young women to share situations in which they could have set a good example but did not. Have them tell how they felt afterward.

Chalkboard discussion

Draw a large minus sign (–) on the chalkboard. Ask what it means when we say someone has a negative influence on others.

Draw a large plus sign (+) on the chalkboard. Ask what it means when we say someone has a positive influence on others.

Discuss some of the ways we can be a positive influence on others.

The Scriptures Stress the Importance of Example

Scripture discussion

Explain that the Savior showed us how to be a good example. He was always faithful to what he knew was right. Give copies of the following scriptures to four young women to read aloud:

“For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you” (John 13:15).

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

“Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps” (1 Peter 2:21).

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

Discuss how these scriptures apply to the life of a young woman. Ask the following questions:

How does letting your light shine (or setting a good example) bring glory to Heavenly Father?

How can you be a positive example to your friends in word? in charity? in faith? in purity?

A Good Example Can Bring Joy to Many People

Story

Read the following testimony of Sister Shirley Casper, wife of famous golfer Billy Casper. Ask the young women to listen for various ways in which example plays an important part in the story.

“I’ve said on many occasions that I was ready to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints several years before Bill was. I had much more introduction to the Mormons than Bill had. When I was a young girl, some of my mother’s dear friends were Mormons. When I grew up and later when we married, I had many friends from around the country who were Mormons.

“When Bill won the U.S. Open in 1959 and we were able to spend a little more time in Salt Lake City, Utah, I was well enough versed in religion to be able to make some rather interesting observations. It was about that time that I looked quite intently at Mormonism. I wanted to know about it, and the more I learned, the more I wanted to continue to learn.

“There was a frankness about Mormons—not in a brash sort of way, but rather in the manner in which each member seemed confident that what he was doing about religion was what he wanted to do.

“They seemed to live better than other people, to be prosperous—and I don’t mean from a money standpoint. They were healthy, happy, busy people. They were involved with their families. If you met a Mormon, you usually met his family.

“I liked the Church’s youth programs. I favored the Tabernacle Choir and always wanted to sing in it. No one forced his religion on us. We just seemed to enjoy our Mormon friends as they were.

“I remember some of the first parties in Utah. There seemed to be less drinking and certainly less smoking. After you sit in smoke-filled rooms night after night, day after day, you enjoy the luxury of clean air.

“To repeat. I liked the way Mormon people were living. This aroused my curiosity more than ever. . . .

“I would have liked to have gone with Bill into the temple long before we got there, but he was not prepared for it. Our Lord and Savior is kind to us in that way—he gives us no more of his laws than we have the capacity to observe. We all had to progress to that capacity before we could be given what we have now.

“When Bill said he would be baptized, I knew for sure he meant it. . . .

“New worlds have opened to us. I was able to tract with some of the lady missionaries in Hong Kong—just to learn about the missionary program.

“With our golf we have gone to far places of the world, and we find the Saints the same loving and kind people wherever we go. They are not just golf fans, people in Bill’s gallery. They are our brothers and sisters in the gospel—the same brothers and sisters we had in the spirit world as sons and daughters of our Father in heaven. . . .

“We Caspers have found out that if we let people know we are Mormons, as nicely as we can, we are better for it. People respect us for our beliefs. They might not agree with us, but they respect us, as we respect them and their beliefs. . . . We are respected for our principles. We are admired—if we merit admiration.

“And I have learned that example means so much in each situation. I joined the Church partly because of examples set by Mormons I knew. I want to do as much for others as they did for me” (Hack Miller, The New Billy Casper [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1970], pp. 132–35).

Discussion

Have the young women discuss the ways in which the examples of others influenced Sister Casper. Point out that Sister Casper’s experiences made her want to help others by being a good example for them.

Lesson Application

Encourage the young women to be aware of good examples of people around them and to strive to be examples of goodness to everyone around them.

Increasing in Spirituality

Lesson 22

Repentance

Objective

Each young woman will understand the principle of repentance.

Preparation

Prepare the following nine wordstrips: “Steps to Repentance:” “Recognize wrong,” “Promise not to repeat sin,” “Recommit oneself,” “Make restitution,” “Feel true sorrow,” “Allow time,” “Forgive self and others,” and “Receive forgiveness from the Lord.”

Review the counsel about repentance on pages 29–30 of For the Strength of Youth.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Repentance Is Necessary to Obtain Forgiveness

Thought question

How do you feel before and after repentance?

Scripture, quotation, and discussion

Alma described his feelings after his sincere repentance. Have a young woman read Mosiah 27:29.

Read the following quotation in which one of our Church leaders compares repentance to an eraser:

“God . . . has a pencil with an eraser on it and he has promised us that he will use it if we will repent and change our ways. . . . He has said that if we would forsake our evil and thoroughly make up our minds against it, then he would wash it out of his mind and just forget the whole thing. Of course, he expects that we will wash it out of our minds also” (Sterling W. Sill, Making the Most of Yourself [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1971], p. 93).

Why is repentance such a wonderful principle and such a great blessing in our lives?

Steps of Repentance

Quotation, wordstrips, and discussion

How do you repent?

To answer this question, discuss the steps of repentance as outlined in the following quotation by Elder Robert D. Hales. As you introduce each step, post the appropriate wordstrip. Discuss the meaning of each step with the young women. Have the class members read the scriptures mentioned in steps 2 and 8.

Recognize we have done wrong.

Covenant with the Lord that we will never repeat the sin we have committed and are repenting of. ‘By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.’ (D&C 58:43.)

Recommit ourselves to living a better life in all phases of the gospel.

Make restitution for the wrongs we have committed by—

Repenting in prayer to the Lord.

Confessing to our bishop . . . [if the sin is a major one].

Apologizing to those we have offended.

The depth of our repentance must be as deep as the sin we have committed. There is no easy way. It hurts, but it also cleanses.

Time is the next element of repentance and restitution.

Time to prove to ourselves, to our Lord, to our fellowmen that we have committed ourselves to a new way of life.

Time to study the scriptures and dedicate our lives to the commandments we learn we must live to be happy and have joy.

Complete forgiveness of ourselves and forgiveness without any feelings of retribution toward those who have offended us.

Finally, the greatest of all blessings: the forgiveness of the Lord. We no longer look back with depression and hurt, but forward to the future with hope and joy and love for God, self, and all mankind” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1976, p. 34; or Ensign, Nov. 1976, p. 26).

Repentance Is a Continuing Process

Teacher presentation and quotations

Explain that repentance is a wonderful gift that can help us progress in this life. We should use this gift wisely. Read the following quotation:

“Repentance is given as the second great principle of the gospel. . . .

“We all make mistakes. If our repentance is sincere, we have the right to approach [Heavenly Father] for forgiveness, but remember we are not entitled to any quota of mistakes. It is always better that we don’t make them. And surely we shouldn’t go on stupidly or stubbornly repeating the same old mistakes over and over again. We ought to have learned our lessons. It isn’t enough to be just as good today as we were yesterday. We should be better. . . . But one of the most devilish doctrines that anyone could advocate would be to say that because someone has made a mistake, it wouldn’t matter if he made one more, or many more. The best time to repent is now, before the next time” (Richard L. Evans, in Conference Report, Oct. 1969, p. 68; or Improvement Era, Dec. 1969, pp. 74, 76).

Help the young women realize that repentance is not only for those who have committed major sins, but is a process of becoming a better person. We should use the principle of repentance every day of our lives.

The following quotation helps explain the continuing process of repentance:

“Repentance is indispensable to the growing life, since in all growth there is constant adjustment, taking on and sloughing off. We cannot replace a bad life with a good one by any single word or act; there must be a continuing process of replacing error and wrong-doing with truth and right-doing; of going from bad to good and from good to better. . . .

“When we speak of the continual need of repentance, let it not be understood that we refer to a cycle of sinning and repenting and sinning again. That is not complete repentance. We must see the right and follow it, recognize the wrong and forsake it with a ‘Godly sorrow’ if we would obtain the blessings of complete repentance” (Hugh B. Brown, Eternal Quest, comp. Charles Manley Brown [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1956], pp. 99, 102).

Teacher presentation

Explain that as we grow spiritually, we recognize that things that seemed to be all right at an earlier point are wrong. Spiritual growth helps one to overcome these newly recognized weaknesses. This is progress. Each day as we learn of the things that should be avoided, our knowledge increases and we advance to another stage of growth. Emphasize that repentance is a continuing process of improving yourself in your thoughts and actions as you recognize your weaknesses. This process continues through adulthood.

Discussion

Can you think of some “small” things in your life that you need to repent of?

If you worked to rid yourself of one of these things each week, how would your life and your feelings of self-worth be improved?

Quotation

President Spencer W. Kimball stated: “Since all of us sin in greater or lesser degree, we are all in need of constant repentance, of continually raising our sights and our performance. One can hardly do the commandments of the Lord in a day, a week, a month or a year. This is an effort which must be extended through the remainder of one’s years” (The Miracle of Forgiveness [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969], p. 202).

Repentance Brings Peace

Story

Ask the young women to listen to the following story to see how it can be compared to the principle of repentance.

Jane enjoyed the outdoors, and she spent many hours by herself hiking in the mountains. One day she discovered a cave. Although a feeling of uneasiness prompted her not to go into the cave, her curiosity led her just to take a look inside. She walked farther and farther into the cave, seeing many enticing formations just ahead. The darkness of the cave finally became total and she realized that she was lost.

She felt panic, then fear, then anger at herself for her predicament. And when she could not find her way back, despair settled upon her. What could she do now? She had lost all sense of direction and could not find the right path. It was at this point that she decided to pray for help. She pleaded with the Lord for guidance in getting back on the right path and overcoming her foolish mistake of entering the cave. Groping along the walls, she rounded a turn and in the distance saw a faint ray of light. She moved faster toward the light until finally she stepped into the bright sunlight.

Thought questions

Did Jane intend to get lost in the cave?

How do you think Jane felt when she walked out of the cave?

Have you ever felt lost and unable to find your way back to your Heavenly Father?

Explain that repentance is like the feeling that Jane had when she recognized her mistake, showed remorse, prayed for forgiveness and guidance, and came back into the light. It is one of the sweetest, most peaceful feelings that one can receive.

Scripture discussion

Point out that we all make mistakes each day of our lives. Only through proper and complete repentance can we obtain a peaceful inner feeling.

Alma, a Book of Mormon prophet, persecuted the Church when he was a young man. An angel appeared to him and told him to stop his wicked behavior. Alma felt great remorse as he began to repent of his sins. Have a young woman read Alma 36:12–13, 15–16.

Once Alma finally recognized his sins, how did he feel?

Have another young woman read Alma 36:17–21.

How did Alma describe his feelings when he remembered the atonement of Jesus Christ and knew he could be forgiven?

How do our love and appreciation for the Savior grow as we sincerely repent and seek forgiveness?

Conclusion

Testimony

Bear your testimony of the reality of Jesus’ love and atoning sacrifice. Testify that righteousness is the way to happiness and that where sins have been committed, complete forgiveness is available through faith in Jesus Christ and true repentance.

Lesson 23

Forgiveness

Objective

Each young woman will learn the importance of forgiving others.

Preparation

Bring a pencil and piece of paper for each class member.

Prepare a poster with the following scripture, or write the scripture on the chalkboard: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Write on a piece of paper the statement from President Spencer W. Kimball in the second section of the lesson. Hand it to one of the young women before you begin the lesson and ask her to study it so she can read it well during class.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Case studies

Give each young woman a pencil and piece of paper. Tell the class that you are going to describe two situations. At the conclusion of each, they are to write down what they might do if they were in a similar situation.

Case Study 1

Maryann shared a confidence with her friend Kathy and trusted her to keep their conversation secret. Later, Maryann overheard Kathy telling someone else. Not only that, but Kathy had added to the story, telling as facts some things that were not true. Maryann was deeply hurt because her friend had broken her word. She was also very angry—so angry that she thought that she would never speak to Kathy again.

Ask each young woman to write down what she would do if she were in Maryann’s place.

Case Study 2

During opening exercises, Karen put her purse on a bench. She left it there when they separated for classes. When she came back to get the purse, it was gone. The next day, Susan, a young woman who had just recently moved into the neighborhood, came to Karen’s house. Susan admitted taking the purse. She returned it saying that she was sorry and asked Karen to forgive her. Karen said, “Certainly, it’s forgotten.” A few days later as Karen was talking with some friends, one of the young women asked if anyone knew Susan.

Give the young women time to write down what they would do if they were in Karen’s place. Tell them to save their papers to refer to later in the lesson.

The Savior Taught Forgiveness by Word and Example

Scripture discussion

Explain that Jesus Christ taught people what they should do when someone offends them. Ask the young women to listen to a scripture and note the instructions Jesus gave. Call on a young woman to read Matthew 5:43–44.

How should you treat those who offend you?

Jesus taught that his followers are required to forgive everyone. They should love their enemies and bless those who curse them. He even explained that if a person fails to forgive, he commits a greater sin than the offender. Ask a young woman to read Doctrine and Covenants 64:9–10.

How serious is it to fail to forgive others?

Who are you required to forgive?

Quotation and discussion

Jesus set the supreme example in forgiving those who offend and hurt. One of our Church leaders explained: “Biblical history tells us that no mortal man has ever been subjected to the humility, the pain, the suffering that were experienced by the Savior of the world during his final hours of mortality.

“Following a number of false charges, he was betrayed by one considered to be among his closest circle of friends. He was then subjected to a so-called trial, which produced a sentence that was dictated by political convenience and public sentiment rather than justice.”

Pause in reading the quotation and ask:

How would you feel if you were betrayed by a friend?

How would you react to someone who falsely accused you of a crime?

Explain that the suffering of Jesus did not end after a false accusal and betrayal by a friend. Continue reading.

“Then in rapid agonizing succession: there was the long struggle to Calvary as he bore the heavy cross; he was jeered at and spat upon by the multitude all along the way; there was the offering of vinegar, climaxed by the cruel spikes; and finally, there he hung, his body broken and bleeding, still taunted by his enemies; and it was in the midst of all this that Jesus pled perhaps quietly, with deep reverence, ‘Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. . . .’ (Luke 23:34.)” (Robert L. Simpson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1966, p. 128; or Improvement Era, Dec. 1966, p. 1148).

To Gain God’s Forgiveness, We Must Learn to Forgive Others

Quotations and discussion

Explain that as a young woman forgives, she allows the Lord to forgive her. Elder Marion D. Hanks asked, “[How can we] expect God to forgive [us] when we do not forgive?—openly? and ‘in our hearts’” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1973, p. 15; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, p. 20).

How do you forgive a person openly and in your heart?

How can feelings of resentment, anger, or vengeance for those who have offended you be overcome so you can truly forgive?

How can prayer help you learn to forgive?

How can understanding and getting to know the Savior help you to forgive others?

Point out that Heavenly Father explained, as recorded in the scriptures, that when we repent, he will forgive our sins and “remember them no more” (D&C 58:42). When a young woman forgives someone, she should tell the person openly and then forget the offense, not mentioning it again.

Call on the young woman to whom you gave the statement from President Spencer W. Kimball to read it aloud.

“Must [I] forgive even if [the one who offended me] remains cold and indifferent and mean? There is no mistaking it.

“A common error is the idea that the offender must apologize and humble himself to the dust before forgiveness is required. Certainly, the one who does the injury should totally make his adjustment, but as for the offended one, he must forgive the offender regardless of the attitude of the other [party]” (The Miracle of Forgiveness [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969], p. 282).

How should you treat a person who has hurt or offended you if the person does not ask for forgiveness? What if the person is not sorry?

How should you respond to someone who repeatedly commits the same offense? (Matthew 18:21–22.)

Poster or chalkboard

Refer to the following scripture on a poster or on the chalkboard: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Case study discussion

Refer to the case studies you presented at the beginning of the class period. Ask the young women to ponder the responses they wrote. If they wish, the young women may make changes in their comments.

If you were Maryann, how would you treat Kathy when you see her again?

If Maryann and Karen really forgave, how would they feel in their hearts?

When Karen forgave Susan, she said, “It’s forgotten.” How should Karen behave if she has truly forgiven Susan?

Forgiveness Brings Love and Blessings

Story

“It was in a church in Munich that I saw him—a balding, heavyset man in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People were filing out of the basement room where I had just spoken, moving along the rows of wooden chairs to the door at the rear. It was 1947 and I had come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God forgives.

“It was the truth they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out land, and I gave them my favorite mental picture. Maybe because the sea is never far from a Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that that’s where forgiven sins were thrown. ‘When we confess our sins,’ I said, ‘God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. . . .’

“The solemn faces stared back at me, not quite daring to believe. There were never questions after a talk in Germany in 1947. People stood up in silence, in silence collected their wraps, in silence left the room.

“And that’s when I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights; the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!

[Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in our home during the Nazi occupation of Holland; this man had been a guard at Ravensbruck concentration camp where we were sent.]

“Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: ‘A fine message, Fräulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!’

“And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course—how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women?

“But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face-to-face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.

“‘You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk,’ he was saying, ‘I was a guard there.’ No, he did not remember me.

“‘But since that time,’ he went on, ‘I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fräulein,’ again the hand came out—’will you forgive me?’

“And I stood there—I whose sins had again and again to be forgiven—and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place—could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?

“It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.

“For I had to do it—I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. ‘If you do not forgive men their trespasses,’ Jesus says, ‘neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.’

“I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.

“And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. ‘. . . Help!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’

“And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

“‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart!’

“For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then” (excerpted from “I’m Still Learning to Forgive” by Corrie ten Boom. Reprinted by permission from Guideposts Magazine. Copyright © 1972 by Guideposts Associates, Inc., Carmel, New York 10512).

Conclusion

Scripture and testimony

Conclude the lesson by reading Doctrine and Covenants 64:8–10 and illustrating its teachings by a personal example or a real experience of someone else. Bear your testimony about the necessity of living this principle if we are to obtain the blessings promised us by the Lord.

Scripture

Reread Ephesians 4:32 from the poster or chalkboard and encourage the young women to be kind and tenderhearted to others by learning to forgive and follow the example of the Savior.

Lesson 24

Prayer and Meditation

Objective

Each young woman will realize the great value of daily prayer and meditation in her life.

Preparation

Picture 14, Jesus Praying in Gethsemane (62175), located at the back of the manual.

Write the following statement from President Harold B. Lee on a poster or on the chalkboard: “Life is fragile and, therefore, should be handled with prayer.”

Prepare a copy of the following invitation for each girl class member:

Invitation
Who: | D&C 104:79
Why: | D&C 19:28
1 Thessalonians 5:18
James 1:5
Alma 34:27
How: | 3 Nephi 19:6
1 Timothy 4:15
Where: | Matthew 6:6
Alma 34:26
When: | Alma 34:21
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Promise: | Alma 37:37
R.S.V.P. |

Assign class members in advance to read the following items in the lesson:

The poem “An Informal Prayer”

The statement by Elder H. Burke Peterson on how to pray

The statement by President David O. McKay on meditation

Invite two class members to sing the hymn “Prayer Is the Soul’s Sincere Desire” (Hymns, no. 145) as a duet.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction: Extend an Invitation

Handout

Distribute the invitations to the class members (see “Preparation”). During the development of the lesson, the young women will be directed to read the various scriptural references in order to discover the message of the invitation.

Discuss with the class the person to whom the invitation is extended. Have class members locate Doctrine and Covenants 104:79 and read it together. This identifies each one of the young women as the one to whom the invitation is extended.

The Scriptures Teach Us about Prayer

Discussion

Have the young women suggest reasons why the Lord invites us to pray. After the young women have given their suggestions, have them locate the four scriptures on the invitation. Have each scripture read, and in each identify the reason the Lord gives for prayer.

Doctrine and Covenants 19:28 (it is a commandment); 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (give thanks in everything; it is the will of God); James 1:5 (if you lack wisdom); and Alma 34:27 (pray for the welfare of yourself and others).

Explain to the young women that there are many more reasons to pray and that these four scriptures represent only a few.

Poem

To begin the discussion of how to pray, have the assigned class member read the following poem.

An Informal Prayer

“The proper way for a man to pray,”

Said Deacon Lemuel Keyes,

“And the only proper attitude

Is down upon his knees.”

“Nay, I should say the way to pray,”

Said Reverend Dr. Wise,

“Is standing straight with outstretched arms

And rapt and upturned eyes.”

“Oh, no, no, no,” said Elder Snow;

“Such posture is too proud.

A man should pray with eyes fast closed

And head contritely bowed.”

“It seems to me his hands should be

Austerely clasped in front.

With both thumbs pointing toward the ground,”

Said Reverend Dr. Hunt.

“Las’ year I fell in Hodgkin’s well

Head first,” said Cyrus Brown,

“With both my heels a-striken’ up,

My head a-p’inting down;

An’ I made a prayer right then an’ there;

Best prayer I ever said;

The prayingest prayer I ever prayed;

A-standin’ on my head.”

(Sam Walter Foss, “The Prayer of Cyrus Brown,” in Stars to Steer By, ed. Louis Untermeyer [New York: Harcourt, Brace and Co., 1941], pp. 301–2.)

Scripture discussion

Have the young women locate 3 Nephi 19:6 as indicated on their invitations. Explain that when the Savior appeared on the American continent, he taught his disciples how to pray, and they taught the people. Have the scripture read, and ask class members to tell how the Nephites were taught to pray.

Quotation and discussion

Explain that to help us in our efforts to draw nearer to him, our Heavenly Father has given us considerable counsel through our modern leaders on how to pray. Have the assigned class member read and then discuss the suggestions from Bishop H. Burke Peterson:

“As you feel the need to confide in the Lord or to improve the quality of your visits with him—to pray, if you please—may I suggest a process to follow: go where you can be alone, go where you can think, go where you can kneel, go where you can speak out loud to him. The bedroom, the bathroom, or the closet will do. Now, picture him in your mind’s eye. Think to whom you are speaking, control your thoughts—don’t let them wander, address him as your Father and your friend. Now tell him things you really feel to tell him—not trite phrases that have little meaning, but have a sincere, heartfelt conversation with him. Confide in him, ask him for forgiveness, plead with him, enjoy him, thank him, express your love to him, and then listen for his answers. . . . Answers from the Lord come quietly—ever so quietly. In fact, few hear his answers audibly with their ears. We must be listening so carefully or we will never recognize them. Most answers from the Lord are felt in our heart as a warm comfortable expression, or they may come as thoughts to our mind. They come to those who are prepared and who are patient” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1973, p. 13; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, p. 19).

Picture discussion

Display the picture of the Savior praying in Gethsemane, and ask the young women to suggest some of the things we learn about prayer from a study of this picture. Help them to recognize such things as humility, solitude, faith, kneeling, concentration, and meditation.

Meditation Is a Form of Prayer

Scripture discussion

Ask the young women to locate and read 1 Timothy 4:15, listed under “How” on their invitations. Ask them to give you their understanding of the term meditate.

Quotation and discussion

Have the assigned young woman read the following statement by President David O. McKay:

“I think we pay too little attention to the value of meditation, a principle of devotion. . . . Meditation is the language of the soul. It is defined as ‘a form of private devotion or spiritual exercise, consisting in deep, continued reflection on some religious theme.’ Meditation is a form of prayer. . . .

“Meditation is one of the most secret, most sacred doors through which we pass into the presence of the Lord” (Man May Know for Himself, comp. Clare Middlemiss [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1969], pp. 22–23).

Again briefly discuss the places where Bishop Peterson suggested we go to be alone. Then ask the young women to think about where they would go to meditate.

Scripture discussion

Explain that how and where we pray and meditate are closely related. Have the class members refer to their invitations and locate the scriptures designated “Where.” Read them together and identify where the Lord suggests we go:

Matthew 6:6 (Pray in closet or secret places.)

Alma 34:26 (Pray in closet, secret place, and your wilderness.)

Ask the young women to consider where their own personal “wilderness” could be. Help them determine some areas where they could go individually to meditate.

Scripture discussion

Explain that Heavenly Father has also told us when to pray. Ask the young women to consult their invitations to learn the appropriate time to pray according to the scriptures:

Alma 34:21 (Pray morning, midday, and evening.)

1 Thessalonians 5:17 (Pray without ceasing.)

Emphasize that Heavenly Father is always available and wants us to communicate with him. A righteous life includes a never-ceasing prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord.

Life Is Fragile—Handle with Prayer

Poster or chalkboard

Refer to the following statement on a poster or on the chalkboard: “Life is fragile and, therefore, should be handled with prayer” (quoted by Harold B. Lee, in Conference Report, Mexico and Central America Area Conference 1972, p. 48).

Chalkboard discussion

Ask the young women what problems, decisions, and temptations in their lives could be handled more effectively with meditation and prayer. Record their answers on the chalkboard:

Building testimony.

Overcoming negative attitudes.

Observing a meaningful fast.

Withstanding peer group pressures.

Maintaining Church standards.

Meeting school problems.

Improving one’s self-image.

Keeping the Word of Wisdom.

Developing good habits.

Overcoming weaknesses.

How could meditation make your prayers about the problems listed on the chalkboard more effective?

Quotation

After the young women have answered the question, read the following statement from Elder Boyd K. Packer that further clarifies the above question:

“When you have a problem, work it out in your mind first. Ponder on it and analyze it and meditate on it. Read the scriptures. Pray about it. . . .

“Ponder on things a little each day and don’t always be in the crisis of making major decisions on the spur of the moment. . . .

“I have learned that the best time to wrestle with major problems is early in the morning. . . . The blackboard of your mind has been erased by a good night’s rest. The accumulated distractions of the day are not in your way. Your body has been rested also. That’s the time to think something through very carefully and to receive personal revelation” (“Self-reliance,” Ensign, Aug. 1975, p. 88).

Conclusion

Teacher presentation and scripture

Point out that many invitations include an R.S.V.P., which means that the person who receives it must decide whether or not to accept the invitation and give a reply. Ask the young women to refer to their invitations and read the promise; encourage them to accept the invitation to meditation and prayer. Have them read Alma 37:37 to discover the promise offered by the Lord (he will direct them for good, watch over them, and lift them up at the last day).

Ask the young women to seriously consider their own answer to the invitation. Explain to them that if they accept the invitation to pray and meditate, they should commit themselves to a daily program.

Reread the poster “Life is fragile and, therefore, should be handled with prayer.”

Testimony and experiences

Suggest that the young women handle their lives with prayer. Bear your testimony about the value of prayer and meditation in your own life. Share an experience of your own with prayer, and also invite the young women to share their experiences.

Hymn

Close the lesson by having the assigned young women sing, “Prayer Is the Soul’s Sincere Desire” (Hymns, no. 145).

Lesson 25

Sabbath Day

Objective

Each young woman will seek to improve her observance of the Sabbath day.

Preparation

Bring paper and a pencil for each young woman.

Prepare a handout for each young woman that resembles a ruler for measuring. It might look something like this:

Review the counsel about observing the Sabbath day on pages 32–33 of For the Strength of Youth.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Preparation for the Sabbath Enriches the Blessings of That Day

Writing activity

Give each young woman a pencil and piece of paper. Instruct class members to fold the paper into two vertical columns, to title the first column “The Things I Did Last Sunday,” and to write those things under the title. This activity should take no more than five minutes. Have class members keep their papers to use later in the lesson.

Story

Read the following story:

“I remember saying, ‘What is wrong with me? I dread Sunday. I’m confused. I get headaches. I cry. I argue with my parents. Even though I go to Church regularly, I don’t seem to accomplish anything by it. Where are all the blessings we are promised? I do try to keep the Sabbath day holy. I don’t go to movies or shop. I go to my meetings. What is wrong with me?’ Well I found out what was wrong with me.

“I knew in my heart that when I did my school lessons on Sunday, or watched television, or sewed, or even when I visited my girlfriends and we talked about all the things girls talk about, that I was not really keeping the Sabbath holy. Sunday was almost like every other day.

“Well, after a lesson on the Sabbath, I decided to start to make things different. I decided I’d take a good look at myself. Once I had made the decision, I was filled with inspiration as to how I could make it a more special day. Our lesson indicated that we should make a list of the things that could be done in advance to prepare for the Sabbath. Once I had made the list, things fell into order.”

Brainstorming

Have the young women refer to the lists they made at the beginning of class. Ask them which things on their lists could have been done on Saturday to make Sunday a more special day. Point out that Sunday is a holy day and that we should make special preparations for it. Divide the young women into groups. Have each group appoint a recorder. Give each group one of the following questions and have them brainstorm for no more than five minutes. Their Sunday activity lists may help in their brainstorming session.

What preparations should be made on Saturday to make Sunday a more special day?

What should be eliminated from usual Sabbath day activities to make Sunday a more spiritual day?

What preparations could be made to provide time or activities for family sharing on Sunday?

Have the recorder from each group report the ideas and conclusions of her group.

Chalkboard discussion

What blessings might we receive by preparing in advance for the Sabbath? (A feeling of contentment; anticipation of the Sabbath; time to think, meditate, pray, and read the scriptures; closer bonds with family members and Heavenly Father.) List the responses on the chalkboard.

Scripture

Point out that when we keep the Sabbath day holy, we are blessed for obeying a commandment of our Heavenly Father. Have a young woman read Exodus 20:8–11.

Worship Is Expressed in Word, Thought, Song, and Deed

Scripture discussion

In Doctrine and Covenants 59:9–10 we have been told where we should go on the Sabbath. Have a young woman read these verses.

Where are we commanded to go on the Sabbath?

What should be our attitude when we attend sacrament meeting?

How does attending meetings as a family strengthen bonds and relationships?

Quotation and discussion

Read the following quotation:

“Too frequently we come to worship and to leave our offerings without attempting to prepare our inner selves to the same degree of perfection that we achieve in our outward dress and grooming” (Robert L. Simpson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1966, p. 129; or Improvement Era, Dec. 1966, p. 1148).

How can we prepare our “inner selves” for the Sabbath day?

Case studies and discussion

Present the following case studies for the young women to analyze and discuss. Help the young women understand that there are many ways to keep the Sabbath holy or to fail to do so.

Helen and Shirley slipped into a back row just as the bishop announced the opening prayer. They continued to whisper during the worship service and wrote notes back and forth to each other.

How might Helen and Shirley’s activities influence the worship of those around them?

During the sacrament hymn, Emily slouched down in her seat, closed her eyes, and held the unopened hymnbook without singing.

How can the words and music of hymns add to the spirit of a meeting?

Sue sat by Mary during the worship service. While the sacrament was being blessed and passed to the members, Sue’s mind was on the movie she had seen the previous day. She was startled when Mary nudged her to partake of the sacrament.

How would you compare Sue’s apparent outward reverence with her inward feelings?

What could each young woman do during the sacrament to be more worshipful?

Kathy was caught up in the sermon being delivered by her bishop. He was talking about repentance, and she felt a peaceful feeling that this was truly a beautiful part of the gospel.

How did Kathy demonstrate a worshipful attitude?

What blessings can we receive when we have a worshipful attitude?

Elaine was invited to visit Karen’s house and listen to a popular new song. Elaine had heard that Ann, another friend, was ill. Remembering that she had helped her mother make cookies on Saturday, she decided she would take some cookies and visit with Ann instead.

How did Elaine’s action reflect a worshipful attitude?

How could she have lost the worshipful feeling if she had gone to Karen’s house?

Summarize by bringing out that we can worship through word, through good thoughts, through spiritual music, and through good deeds. Indicate that worship is living and doing—obeying our Father in Heaven.

Quotation

Read President Ezra Taft Benson’s statement:

“The purpose of the Sabbath is for spiritual uplift, for a renewal of our covenants, for worship, for rest, for prayer. It is for the purpose of feeding the spirit, that we may keep ourselves unspotted from the world by obeying God’s command” (God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1974], pp. 10–14).

We Should Evaluate Our Sabbath Day Activities

Discussion

How can we know what to do and what not to do on the Sabbath day?

Would you like a list of do’s and don’ts for the Sabbath day?

Teacher presentation

Explain that anciently the Jews failed to follow the guideline they had been given to keep the Sabbath day holy. To help them know specific things they could and could not do, strict rules were developed. Some of these rules are listed below:

“Certain kinds of knots were not to be tied or untied. It was all right to untie a knot that could be undone with one hand.

“A fire was not to be extinguished or kindled.

“Travel was restricted to a distance slightly longer than a mile. This distance, which became known as ‘a Sabbath day’s journey,’ was decided by measuring the distance from the tabernacle used during Moses’ time to the tents of the furthermost camp and back again. If a person traveled farther than this distance, he was working and was therefore under sin” (“Is It Lawful to Do Good on the Sabbath?” New Testament Daily Teacher Manual [seminary manual, 1980–81], p. 97).

There was also a question about whether one should eat an egg laid on the Sabbath by a hen which did not know the law. One rabbi permitted it, and another rabbi did not. (See Albert E. Bailey, Daily Life in Bible Times [New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1943], p. 255.)

Quotation

Explain that rather than having such restrictions, we have been given latter-day instruction regarding the Sabbath day.

“In this, our day, the Lord has put great emphasis on observance of the Sabbath day. . . .

“Because we live in a Sabbath-breaking society, we must . . . live in the world but not be of the world. . . .

“We need not shop on the Sabbath day. There will be no shopping in the city of Zion on the Sabbath.

“We need not attend recreational events, nor hunt or fish on the Sabbath.

“If we are really intent . . . , we will on the Sabbath day live within the framework of the instructions given by the Lord in . . . the Doctrine and Covenants” (Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1974, pp. 116–17; or Ensign, May 1974, p. 80).

Scripture discussion

According to Doctrine and Covenants 59:9, what is one of the main purposes of the Sabbath day? (To keep ourselves unspotted from the world.)

How can we judge if an activity will keep us unspotted from the world?

Personal evaluation

Write the following questions on the chalkboard and have the young women write them in the right hand column of their papers:

Is the activity doing good?

Is it spiritually uplifting?

Would Jesus do it?

Have each young woman evaluate activities she usually engages in on Sunday by responding to the three questions.

Teacher presentation

These guidelines provide a measure for helping us decide if an activity is appropriate for the Sabbath. Such an approach requires more maturity than having a rule for every situation. If we keep in mind the purpose of the Sabbath and our goal to remain unspotted from the world, we will be able to more effectively regulate our own Sabbath day activities.

Quotation

After the young women have discussed these three ideas, read the following statement by President Harold B. Lee:

“Whether at home or in church, your thoughts and your conduct should be always in harmony with the spirit and purpose of the Sabbath. Places of amusement and recreation, while at proper times may serve a needed end, are not conducive of spiritual growth and such places will not keep you ‘unspotted from the world’ but will rather deny you the ‘fulness of the earth’ promised to those who comply with the law of the Sabbath. You who make the violation of the Sabbath a habit, by your failure to ‘keep it holy’ are losing a soul full of joy in return for a thimble full of pleasure. You are giving too much attention to your physical desires at the expense of your spiritual health” (Decisions for Successful Living [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1973], pp. 147–48).

Conclusion

Handout and testimony

Give each young woman a paper ruler (see page 109) and encourage her to observe the Sabbath more fully by evaluating activities by the three guidelines. Bear your testimony of the importance and blessings of keeping the Sabbath day holy.

Lesson 26

Testimony

Objective

Each young woman will know how to obtain, strengthen, and share her testimony.

Preparation

Bring some seeds and a potted plant.

Make a poster containing the following definition:

Jesus is the Son of God and Savior of the world.

Joseph Smith is the prophet through whom God restored the gospel.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true Church and is led by a prophet today.

Write each of the following scripture references on a separate piece of paper: Alma 32:27; Doctrine and Covenants 11:22; Moroni 10:4; John 7:17; Alma 5:46.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Object lesson and scripture discussion

Show the class the seeds and the potted plant.

What relationship do these two things have?

In order for the seeds to grow into plants, what has to happen?

Explain that in the Book of Mormon, Alma compared a seed to something else. Ask the young women to read Alma 32:27–28 to discover what the comparison was. (The word of God.)

What do we call a knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel? (A testimony.)

Poster and discussion

Display the poster with the definition of testimony (see “Preparation”) and have one of the young women read it aloud. Explain that without any one of these most important elements, our testimonies are not complete. Leave the poster on display throughout the lesson.

Each Young Woman Can Obtain a Personal Testimony

Scripture discussion

Explain that this same Alma, who compared the gaining of a testimony to the growing of a seed, had a strong testimony of his own. Although as a young man Alma saw an angel (Mosiah 27:8–15), he had to come to know for himself that the gospel is true.

Have one of the young women read Alma 5:45–46 aloud.

How did Alma come to know for himself?

Explain that no one is born with a testimony and that for many, acquiring a testimony begins seriously at the age of the young women in your class.

Thought questions

Do you have a testimony of the gospel as explained on the poster?

Can you honestly say, as did Alma, “I do know of myself”?

If you don’t have a testimony yet, have you ever wondered how you could get one?

Quotation and discussion

President Spencer W. Kimball said that everyone can gain a testimony:

“We can have positive certainty of the reality of a personal God; the continued active life of the Christ . . . ; the divinity of the restoration through Joseph Smith. . . . These can be known by every responsible person as surely as the knowledge that the sun shines. To fail to attain this knowledge is to admit that one has not paid the price” (Faith Precedes the Miracle [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1972], pp. 13–14).

What must a person do “to pay the price,” as President Kimball suggests? (Gain a knowledge—a testimony—of God, Christ, and Joseph Smith and the Restoration.)

Scripture activity and chalkboard discussion

In the scriptures we find what other prophets have said we must do to pay the price of gaining a testimony.

Hand out the slips of paper with the scriptural references Alma 32:27, Doctrine and Covenants 11:22, Moroni 10:4, John 7:17, and Alma 5:46. If the class is large enough, divide the young women into four or five groups. If it is a smaller class, have them work individually or in pairs. After they have read their assigned scripture, ask each group the following question:

According to the scripture you read, what is part of the price of gaining a testimony?

As the answers are given, write them and the scripture references on the chalkboard and discuss how each can help in gaining a testimony.

Desire to believe (Alma 32:27).

Study the scriptures and the words of the modern prophets (D&C 11:22).

Pray with real intent (Moroni 10:4).

Live gospel principles (John 7:17).

Fast and pray (Alma 5:46).

Note: Leave this list on the chalkboard; it will be referred to later in the lesson.

Scripture discussion

After you have paid the price of desire, study, prayer, righteous living, and fasting, what must you receive to complete the process of gaining a testimony?

If the young women are unable to answer this question correctly, have them read Moroni 10:4.

Teacher presentation

Whether they come suddenly or slowly, all testimonies come through the power of the Holy Ghost. A testimony comes to different people in different ways but is often described as a burning feeling in our hearts or enlightenment in our minds (see D&C 6:15; 8:2–3; 9:8; 11:13; Luke 24:32).

Quotation

“An eyewitness [is] not enough. Even the witness and testimony of the original Apostles had to be rooted in the testimony of the Holy Ghost. A prophet has told us that the witness of the Holy Ghost makes an impression on our soul that is more significant than ‘a visitation of an angel’” (Dallin H. Oaks, in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, p. 36; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, p. 30).

A Personal Testimony Brings Great Rewards

Story and discussion

Once a young woman has received a testimony, it brings other blessings to her life. As you read the following story of a young woman, ask class members to identify the blessings that came because of her testimony of the gospel.

“In May 1972 Julie [Wang] was walking down a street in the city of Kaohsiung, Taiwan, when she saw two young foreigners handing out slips of paper to everyone who passed by. She took one slip and soon discovered that it was a brief message of the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. . . . Julie had been carefully reared with gospel teachings, and she was moved upon by the Spirit to learn about this restoration. She returned the card and was almost immediately visited by the elders. She knew the gospel was true from the moment she heard it, and she desired to be baptized.

“Julie’s father [who was the minister of their congregation] could not understand her request. . . . Nonetheless, as Julie told him more about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, he also accepted the message of the restoration.

“On Sunday, April 1, 1973, Julie went with her father and mother and 62 other members of the K’e Liao Church to the Kaohsiung chapel. On that day Julie stood with tears in her eyes as she saw her father and mother baptized. . . . She brimmed with joy as she saw 48 more people whom she had loved all of her life also enter the waters of baptism.

“. . . Through the strength, courage, and testimony of one fifteen-year-old girl, a whole congregation was brought into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” (Malan R. Jackson, “Julie Wang,” New Era, June 1973, p. 7).

What blessing did Julie’s testimony bring into her own life and the lives of others?

Story and discussion

Explain that some more private effects of a testimony are revealed by this incident from the life of a young convert. Listen for the blessings a testimony brought into her life.

“I had just been baptized a short while when I discovered that I needed surgery. When a nonmember friend visited me in the hospital, I told her that I had been baptized into the Church. She responded by telling me that I was in the hospital because I had joined a church that didn’t believe in Christ. I was amazed at her lack of knowledge about the Church, knowing that she had lived among members for several years.

“I had never borne my testimony before, but I felt a need to do so at that moment. I told her that we do worship Jesus Christ, and that he is the Son of God, that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that the Church continues to receive revelation today.

“I did not convince my friend that she should join the Church, but from that experience I felt an indescribable inner strength. This strength helped me in my days of recovery and has been a great source of comfort ever since.”

How can bearing your own testimony benefit you?

Why does bearing your testimony bring inner strength and comfort?

Tell the class that every young woman who is willing to pay the price can gain her own testimony and the blessings that come with it.

A Testimony Should Be Continually Strengthened and Shared

Object lesson and discussion

Once a young woman has obtained a testimony of the gospel, can she be guaranteed that her testimony will always remain with her?

Show the plant to the young women.

How could this plant be compared to a young woman’s testimony? (Both need constant nourishment.)

What will happen to a testimony if it is not properly cared for?

What might be the reason for a person losing her testimony? (Possible answers: neglecting prayers and gospel study, placing worldly things above spiritual things, failing to keep the Sabbath holy, breaking the Word of Wisdom.)

If I continue to water and care for this plant, what will happen?

That same thing is true of a testimony.

How can we maintain a strong testimony?

During this part of the lesson, refer to the chalkboard and help the young women understand that continuing to do the things that helped them gain a testimony will also help them strengthen it.

Quotation and discussion

Explain that one way to strengthen your testimony is to bear it.

President Gordon B. Hinckley has told us, “Once having received that testimony, it becomes our obligation to bear record to others” (in Conference Report, Seoul Korea Area Conference 1975, p. 12; italics added).

Why is it our “obligation” to bear our testimonies? (See D&C 88:81.)

One sacrament meeting a month in the Church is a testimony meeting. Why do you think this is so?

How do you feel when someone bears a strong testimony of the gospel?

How does it affect your testimony?

Story

Explain that our testimonies become stronger as we bear them and as we hear the testimonies of others. One young woman had this experience when bearing her testimony:

“It’s funny how a testimony grows by leaps and bounds when you share it. I was born and reared in the Church and have always tried my best to obey its teachings. I believed I had as strong a testimony as anyone, but I had never actually borne it. Sure, my close friends knew of my conviction, but that was about all.

“Then one day I was sitting in seminary when I heard my name called as one of three in the class to come up and bear testimony. I was shocked, not to mention scared to death. When my turn came I just stood there not knowing what to say and then the words started coming. I actually poured my heart out. I bore witness that Jesus was the Christ, that the Church was true and that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God as is the President of the Church today.

“When I was done I had a warm, special feeling inside. My testimony had grown; I could feel it. It was like watching a flower grow in fast motion on a science film.”

Refer to the poster and explain that this young woman’s testimony included all the items listed on it.

Thought questions

How strong is your testimony?

What are you doing to strengthen it?

When was the last time you bore your testimony?

Teacher testimony

If you feel so prompted, bear your own testimony to the young women. Express confidence that each of them can know for herself that Jesus is the Christ, that Joseph Smith is a prophet, that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true church today, and that a living prophet guides us today. Encourage the young women to bear their testimonies within the next month.

Lesson 27

Scripture Study

Objective

Each young woman will have an increased desire to study the scriptures daily.

Preparation

Bring paper and a pencil for each young woman.

Prepare one or more of the items indicated in the introduction.

Write each of the following scriptural references on an index card or on a slip of paper and place the cards in a container. Make duplicate copies as needed so there will be at least one card for each class member.

Matthew 18:15

2 Nephi 32:9

Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8

James 1:5–6

Make a bookmark for each young woman as illustrated at the end of the lesson. (If possible, use heavy paper.)

A week or so in advance, ask two or three class members to come to class prepared to share their favorite scripture and explain why it is special to them.

Optional: Assign a young woman to present “Pondering Isn’t Preposterous” (see pages 119–20).

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Object lesson and discussion

Display one or more of the following items: a can of food without a label, a bottle of liquid without a label, a dress pattern without instructions, or a recipe with the instructions missing. Point out what is missing from each item.

How valuable are these items in their present condition?

Would you know how to use them?

Of what value are instructions? (They give directions and help us know how to use items or accomplish certain things.)

When do we need instructions in our lives?

Where can you find written instructions for life? (Hold up a copy of the scriptures.)

Scripture and chalkboard discussion

Write the scripture 2 Nephi 33:4–5 on the chalkboard.

Have the young women read the scripture and list Nephi’s reasons as to why we should study the scriptures.

You may want to list responses on the chalkboard.

Many Sacrifices Have Been Made So We Could Have the Scriptures Today

Teacher presentation

All through history the prophets have been instructed to keep records of their dealings with the Lord. The prophets and record keepers have made great sacrifices so we might have the scriptures.

Writing activity and discussion

Distribute paper and pencils to the young women. Assign each of them a book of scripture and instruct them to begin copying that book of scripture. Have the young women begin with the first verse of the first book or section. Allow them to copy for two or three minutes before stopping them.

At the rate you are copying, how long would it take to copy the entire book?

Emphasize how tedious it is to hand-copy something and how much time and concentration it takes. Point out how difficult it must have been for the prophets to engrave the scriptures on metal or to write them on scrolls. After the scriptures were recorded, translation of the plates and scrolls from the original language into other languages required months of labor and the direct assistance of the Lord.

In addition to the time and effort required to translate or copy the scriptures, what other efforts or sacrifices have been made so we might have the scriptures?

The efforts of Nephi and his brothers to obtain the brass plates (1 Nephi 3–4).

Mormon’s labor to abridge the large plates of Nephi and create the plates of Mormon from which Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon (Words of Mormon 1:1–5 and Mormon 1:1–5; 5:8–9; 6:6).

Moroni’s lonely struggle to complete and bury the gold plates (Mormon 8:1–5; Moroni 1:1–4).

Joseph Smith’s suffering, persecution, and martyrdom because he translated the Book of Mormon and helped reestablish the Church of Jesus Christ on the earth (Joseph Smith—History 1:30–67; D&C 135:1–3).

(Scripture references are for the teacher’s use and need not be read to the class.) Emphasize that these men were given seemingly impossible tasks, yet their efforts made God’s word available to us today in written form.

We Can Learn to Delight in the Scriptures

Class member reports

Have the previously assigned young women share their favorite scripture and explain why it is important to them.

Scripture discussion

What was Nephi’s attitude about the scriptures? (To help answer this question, have a class member read 2 Nephi 4:15.)

What does it mean for our souls to delight in the scriptures? (To enjoy, rejoice in, and appreciate the scriptures.)

Explain that as we learn to find answers to our problems in the scriptures, our appreciation for and delight in the scriptures will increase.

Quotation

Read the following quotation from Parley P. Pratt, an early leader of the Church, about his experience in reading the Book of Mormon:

“I opened it with eagerness, and read its title page. I then read the testimony of several witnesses in relation to the manner of its being found and translated. After this I commenced its contents by course. I read all day; eating was a burden, I had no desire for food; sleep was a burden when the night came, for I preferred reading to sleep.

“As I read, the spirit of the Lord was upon me, and I knew and comprehended that the book was true, as plainly and manifestly as a man comprehends and knows that he exists. My joy was now full, as it were, and I rejoiced sufficiently to more than pay me for all the sorrows, sacrifices and toils of my life” (Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1938], p. 37).

Teacher presentation

Explain that the scriptures are personal revelation to the prophets and that as we read the scriptures they can become personal revelation to us. When this happens we can feel our souls delight in the scriptures.

Scripture solutions

Have each young woman draw one or more scripture cards from a container (see “Preparation”). Instruct class members to find the scripture identified on the card and read it silently. Ask each young woman to listen as you read the following situations and then to decide if the scripture she has offers a solution to the problem. The young woman or young women who have the scripture with an appropriate solution should read the scripture aloud.

Jodi is very popular in school. Susan is Jodi’s friend, but she is jealous of Jodi. Susan started a rumor at school that hurt Jodi’s reputation. What should Jodi do? (See Matthew 18:15.)

Mary is very concerned about her school performance. She wants to excel to the best of her ability. She feels she needs help but doesn’t know who to go to or where she can find the help she needs. What should she do? (See 2 Nephi 32:9.)

A close member of Becky’s family has recently died. The loss came suddenly, and Becky is overcome with sorrow. Where can she find solace and consolation? (See D&C 121:7–8.)

Two missionaries stop at the home of Tanja and are invited in. During their discussion, Tanja has a strong desire to know if what they are saying is true. What can she do? (See James 1:5–6.)

Have any of you had an experience where you have found guidance for a problem from the scriptures?

Allow time for the young women to tell of their experiences and to explain how the scriptures have helped them. If you have an example from your own life, share it with the class.

Teacher presentation

Suggest that the young women memorize scriptures that have special significance to them. Point out that the Topical Guide in the Latter-day Saint edition of the Bible makes it easier to find a specific reference we need or additional scriptures on a subject in which we have a particular interest. Show class members the Topical Guide and allow them to find a scripture under one of the headings so they can become familiar with how to use this resource.

Explain that we can read and study the scriptures in ways that make them more meaningful and more delightful to us. A young woman who began a regular program of scripture study shared the following insights on the enrichment and delight she gained from her study.

Quotation

Have the assigned young woman present the following: “Pondering Isn’t Preposterous.”

“I learned to a small degree how all the holy men of God learn to know God and the gospel. It is not a gift to a select few, rather a blessing predicated on the law of obedience, long hours, and study.

“As I read the scriptures . . . , I learned some of the basics of pondering and searching.

Pray always before you begin to read the scriptures. Slow your mind down and be free from this world. Also, pray all the while you read—as certain concepts of the gospel illuminate your soul or as you have questions. Don’t hesitate to call upon your Father.

Keep a paper and pencil handy while you read. This is a stimulating activity, and often goals, exciting ideas, or original thoughts will creep into a stale mind.

Go slowly! This study is not a race. No longer do you have to finish a prescribed number of chapters before you go to bed. Spend several days with a single chapter or verse. Memorize scripture and it will bloom with hidden meanings you hadn’t been cognizant of, meanings pertinent to your life today.

Ask questions as you read the scriptures. . . . Question and then call upon the Lord. As I questioned, the doors of my heart unfolded and left room for the Holy Ghost to dwell in me.

Stop many times during the day and ponder the single thought that you have searched out in depth. For instance, consider the truth ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ Repeat the scripture, question your every action, and keep the thought with you on a small card.

“All of this is a matter of making yourself take the time; it’s a daily renewal. You’ll be gratified as it refreshes your viewpoint. There will be a new direction in your life and even daily revelation.

“All this pondering leads to the true and deep understanding of the gospel, our mission, and God’s glory. Many times as you ponder you pave the way for the sweet peace of the Holy Ghost to enter your heart and illuminate your entire being with truth. . . .

“[President] Joseph Fielding Smith said, ‘All my life I have studied and pondered the principles of the gospel and sought to live the laws of the Lord. As a result there has come into my heart a great love for him and for his work and for all those who seek to further his purposes in the earth’ (Conference Report, Oct. 1971, p. 6; italics added).

“Take the time to ponder. It is a key to unbelievable joy and knowledge here in mortality.

“[The Savior said,] ‘I leave these sayings with you to ponder in your hearts, with this commandment which I give unto you, that ye shall call upon me while I am near—

“‘Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you’ (D&C 88:62–63)” (Susan Hill, “Pondering Isn’t Preposterous,” New Era, May 1976, pp. 49–50).

Summary

Point out that pondering the scriptures can increase our joy and delight in them and bring us closer to the Savior.

Conclusion: Key to Happiness

Quotations

To emphasize that the scriptures have an important meaning in our lives, read the following quotation: “Each of us, at some time in our lives, must discover the scriptures for ourselves—and not just discover them once, but rediscover them again and again” (Spencer W. Kimball, “How Rare a Possession—the Scriptures!” Ensign, Sept. 1976, p. 4).

We have also been told by a prophet of God that we must read from the Book of Mormon every day.

President Ezra Taft Benson said, “There is a book we need to study daily, both as individuals and as families, namely the Book of Mormon” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1986, pp. 99–100; or Ensign, May 1986, p. 78).

“We need to read daily from [its] pages [and it] will get [us] ‘nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book’ (History of the Church, 4:461)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1988, p. 3; or Ensign, Nov. 1988, p. 4).

Handout

Give each young woman a bookmark (see the sample below). Ask each of them to write on the back of the bookmark the specific time each day that she will read the scriptures. Even if she reads only a few verses each day, she will benefit greatly. Encourage her to use the bookmark as a marker as she reads the scriptures and as a reminder of her commitment to study the scriptures daily. It should also remind her that studying and pondering the scriptures are keys to her salvation and happiness.

Lesson 28

Resisting Sin

Objective

Each young woman will recognize that she must fortify herself to overcome temptations.

Preparation

Picture 15, Lures, Traps, and Snares, found at the end of the manual. (If possible, you might obtain some actual lures or traps.)

Bring paper and a pencil for each young woman.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Caution: Do not dwell on the doctrines of Satan. Do not discuss experiences individuals have had with Satan.

Suggested Lesson Development

Learning Who Satan Is and What His Purposes and Powers Are Can Help the Young Women Overcome Temptation

Clues

Hand out a pencil and a piece of paper to each young woman and ask class members to number their papers from one to ten. As you read the following clues, have them write the name of the person they think fits that clue by the number of the clue. No one is to say anything aloud until all ten clues have been read.

I am a spirit child of Heavenly Father.

I am your spirit brother.

I was present in the Council in Heaven.

I was an angel of God.

I spoke with authority in the presence of God.

I have been called “Son of the Morning.”

I rebelled and rejected Heavenly Father’s plan.

Many of my spirit brothers and sisters followed me.

I have only a spirit body.

I led one-third of the hosts of heaven from the presence of God.

(Answer: Satan or Lucifer.)

Discussion

How did some of the descriptions of Satan confuse you?

What are some of the other names by which Satan is known? (Devil, Destroyer, Evil One, Perdition, Prince of Devils, Dragon, Serpent, Tempter, the father of all lies, and others.)

Scripture discussion

What are some of Satan’s purposes on earth? (To answer this question, have the young women read Moses 4:3–4.) (Satan sought to destroy our agency, to gain the power of God, to deceive and blind us, and to lead us captive at his will.)

Explain that there is another reason Satan tempts us. Have class members read 2 Nephi 2:27: “For [Satan] seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”

Quotations and discussion

Can Satan gain power over us?

After the young women have responded, read the following quotation:

“Satan has no power over us except as we give it to him. . . . God never forces us to do right, and Satan has no power to force us to do wrong” (Sterling W. Sill, in Conference Report, Apr. 1970, pp. 29–30; or Improvement Era, June 1970, p. 45).

Why is it important to know who Satan is and what his purposes and powers are? (To recognize his tactics and be wary of his influence so we can remain strong in the gospel and resist him.)

“[President] Spencer W. Kimball, speaking to a multitude of youth, assured them that an awareness of the existence, the power, and the plans of Satan—together with a compelling and vibrant testimony of God and of the gospel and of the plans of our Father . . . —can help them achieve unprecedented accomplishments, which may affect their lives eternally” (ElRay L. Christiansen, in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, p. 30; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, p. 24).

Temptations Come in Various Ways

Picture and discussion

Show the picture of various fishhooks, traps, lures, and snares, or show the actual items.

What is the purpose of such fishhooks, traps, lures, and snares? (To attract and catch fish or animals.)

How are these snares and lures disguised to make them appealing?

Scripture discussion

Explain that Satan uses many dishonest lures and traps to try to catch us. Have the young women read Alma 12:5–6.

According to the scripture, what is the purpose of Satan’s snares?

What are some snares Satan uses effectively on young people?

How can we avoid these snares?

Ask the young women how they would like to try to walk through a room in the dark where several traps had been set.

How does darkness slow or stop your progress? (We cannot see, work, or do other things.)

Scripture discussion

Have the young women read Doctrine and Covenants 50:23–25 to find out why it is important to have the light of God.

What does the light represent? (God, his truth, and his works.)

How can this light help you chase darkness or Satan from your life?

Quotation

“In his cunning [Satan] knows where and how to strike. It is in youth when his victims are most vulnerable. . . . The devil uses many, many tools” (Ezra Taft Benson, God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1974], p. 247).

Story and discussion

An old Greek legend tells of a young man who had only one vulnerable spot. Ask a class member to tell the story of Achilles.

Achilles [uh-KIL-eez] was one of the greatest heroes of Greek mythology. Soon after his birth, his mother, Thetis, dipped him in the River Styx, which according to legend would protect his body from harm. However, the water did not touch the heel by which Thetis held him. During the tenth year of the Trojan War, Paris shot an arrow into Achilles’ unprotected heel. Achilles died of the wound.

What does it mean to have an Achilles heel? (To have a vulnerable or unprotected weakness.)

How does Satan know our weaknesses? (He knows us from the premortal life.)

How can we overcome our weaknesses?

Quotation

After the discussion, read the following quotation: “Satan knows all the tricks. He knows where we are susceptible to temptations and how to entice us to do evil. He and his messengers suggest evil, minimize the seriousness of sin, and make evil inviting” (ElRay L. Christiansen, “Q and A,” New Era, July 1975, p. 49).

Quotation and chalkboard

Assign a class member to list on the chalkboard each of the temptations mentioned as the following quotation is read aloud.

“Now, the adversary knows that a little sin will not stay little, and he welcomes any and all into his kingdom by first trying to get us to lie a little, then helping us to try to justify ourselves in so doing or to cheat or to steal. Some folks are indeed induced to desecrate the Sabbath day until it becomes habitual with them. Some people begin with the use of liquor just to ‘relax a bit.’ Also, drug abuse, evil speaking, disobedience to parents, or deceiving one’s own companions—these are means he has of getting us to digress from the proper course. He knows full well that, if continued, such diversions soon result in regrets, sorrows, and losses, because they lead us into greater sinfulness.

“No doubt one of the most infamous snares set out by the adversary is that of unchastity” (ElRay L. Christiansen, in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, p. 29; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, p. 24).

Temptations

lying

cheating

profanity

stealing

procrastination

desecration of the Sabbath

discouragement

drinking

shoplifting

taking drugs

disobedience to parents

deception

unchastity

evil speaking

(and others)

Ask for any additional temptations young women may encounter. Add these to the chalkboard.

Group activity

Divide the class into small groups. Ask each group to discuss two or three of the temptations listed. The groups should determine ways to combat and overcome these temptations. Following their discussions, have each group report to the class. As they report their suggestions, erase the temptations from the chalkboard and replace them with the positive ways to overcome temptation.

Make proper decisions ahead of time.

Avoid even the appearance of evil.

Have an alternative in mind.

Change the subject.

Prepare defenses.

Pray for help.

Seek parental counsel.

Choose good friends.

Spend time doing worthwhile things.

Avoid situations where temptations may arise.

Heavenly Father Will Help Each Young Woman As She Strives to Overcome Temptations

Quotation

The following quotation explains how we can gain complete power to resist temptation:

“In all his evil doings, the adversary can go no further than the transgressor permits him to go, and we can gain complete power to resist the evils caused by Satan through adherence to the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Members of the Church may have the blessing of the Holy Ghost, the prompter, as a companion as well, and when the Holy Ghost is really within us, Satan must remain without. Study of the scriptures, prayer, faithful living of the commandments of the Lord, the discharge of church obligations and duties . . . can provide a basis for having the Holy Ghost as a constant companion and protector” (ElRay L. Christiansen, in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, p. 30; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, p. 24).

If it is not already on the chalkboard, add the phrase “Seek the companionship of the Holy Ghost.”

Scripture discussion

The Savior stressed a very important way to overcome temptation. Have the young women read 3 Nephi 18:15, 18–19. Add “Pray for help” if it is not already on the chalkboard.

Point out that we have also been told a specific way to ask for this help when we pray. Read Mormon 9:28.

How does this verse suggest we pray to overcome temptation? (Ask “with a firmness unshaken, that ye will yield to no temptation.”) Add “Determination not to yield” to the chalkboard.

Heavenly Father has also promised that he will help us in another way. Read 1 Corinthians 10:13.

What is the promise given?

Help the young women understand that if they will be diligent in their efforts to avoid and overcome temptations, Heavenly Father will sustain them.

Lesson Application

Suggest that the young women follow the suggestions they have listed on the chalkboard and always remember the promise given in 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Lesson 29

The Second Coming

Objective

Each young woman will recognize the responsibilities her generation has to prepare for the Second Coming.

Preparation

Picture 16, The Second Coming (62562), located at the back of the manual.

Make a large poster of Doctrine and Covenants 87:8, or write this scripture on the chalkboard.

Make a small, attractive card for each young woman with the words of Doctrine and Covenants 87:8 or with another brief statement from any of the quotations in the lesson.

Bring several hymnbooks and prepare to sing or read “Come, O Thou King of Kings” (no. 59).

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Teacher presentation

Begin by telling the young women that throughout the history of the world, kings and queens have ruled many of the earth’s people. Some of these kings and queens have been righteous monarchs who treated their subjects justly. Others have been wicked rulers who used their power to abuse the people they ruled. These rulers have not been worthy of their people’s loyalty.

Tell the young women that faithful people everywhere have long looked forward to the reign of a king so just and loving that he is worthy to be called the “King of Kings.”

Picture

Display the picture of the Savior. Explain that the generation the young women are part of has been called a “royal generation” because the valiant among them will help prepare the world for the second coming of the Savior.

Chalkboard discussion

Ask the young women to name some of the qualities that might describe the youth of the royal generation, whose king is Jesus Christ. List the words on the chalkboard and discuss them briefly:

choice

righteous

joyful

worthy

pure

faithful

favored

clean

happy

courageous

great

loving

true

strong

Quotation

Have a class member read the following statement addressed to the young people of the Church:

“My dear friends, you are a royal generation. You were preserved to come to the earth in this time for a special purpose. Not just a few of you, but all of you. There are things for each of you to do that no one else can do as well as you. . . . If you will let Him, I testify that our Father in Heaven will walk with you through the journey of life and inspire you to know your special purpose here” (H. Burke Peterson, “Your Life Has a Purpose,” New Era, May 1979, p. 5).

The Earth Must Be Made Ready for the Savior’s Return

Teacher presentation

Point out that those who are righteous look forward with great joy to the second coming of the Lord. It is a blessing to be among those who may help prepare the earth for his coming. Explain that there are many signs and events that must occur before the Lord will come in glory. They include events that have already happened, some that are now occurring, and others that will yet come to pass as predicted by ancient and modern prophets.

Discussion

What must happen on the earth before the Savior returns?

Some of the many signs and prophecies include: the calling of the Prophet Joseph Smith, the coming forth of the Book of Mormon, the restoration of the priesthood and of the Church, the restoration of temple and priesthood ordinances, the preaching of the gospel to the world, the destruction of the wicked, and the saving of the righteous. (Note: Do not spend time discussing all of the signs and events that must precede the Lord’s return.)

Teacher presentation

Point out that these and other events preceding the Second Coming have required and will continue to require a noble generation in order to occur. (Note: If the word generation is defined only in the usual way—meaning a short span of time, perhaps thirty to forty years—class members might wrongly assume that we know approximately when the Savior will return. Point out that the term generation has several different meanings, including a time span of a thousand years. [See Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966), p. 310.]) It is the responsibility of all members of the Church to help prepare the earth for the return of the Lord through righteousness and through faithful and devoted service. There must be dedicated Saints to receive and carry out the Lord’s instructions and purposes, a generation of strong and unwavering members to continue building the kingdom of God on the earth.

Quotation

Read the following statement:

“When he comes to us it will be as a glorious, heavenly King. . . .

“. . . Building his kingdom has always been the theme of his people. . . . It is our charge to build Zion—not yet the Lord’s own city of Zion, but the religious, social, and economic order that must precede his coming as a standard to the nations. (D&C 64:42.) We must prepare a generation of sanctified saints who are ready to receive their King. ‘Wherefore, stand ye in holy places, and be not moved, until the day of the Lord come’” (Courtney Lassetter, “When He Comes Again,” Ensign, June 1976, pp. 68–70; italics added).

Scripture discussion

Display the poster of Doctrine and Covenants 87:8 or refer to it on the chalkboard.

What does it mean to “stand . . . in holy places, and be not moved”?

After the young women have expressed their ideas, have them mark the verse in their scriptures.

This Generation Has Been Chosen to Help Prepare for the Savior’s Second Coming

Teacher presentation

Tell the young women that it is a great privilege to live in the dispensation of the fulness of times. Ancient prophets looked with joyful anticipation to this day when the gospel would be restored and preached among all nations and when final preparations would be made for the second coming of the Savior.

Discussion

How can we make sure we are among the faithful who help prepare for the Savior’s return?

Why and how must we be on guard against worldly conditions that surround us?

Quotations

Use any or all of the following quotations to summarize the role of the “rising generation.” You could ask class members to read aloud the statements that describe the challenges and responsibilities of our times and that express the Lord’s expectations for the youth of the Church.

“This is a very different generation from any others. It is a generation when the Lord has decreed—and that, too, before the world was made—that in the last days the God of heaven shall set up a kingdom which shall never be destroyed nor given to other people” (Wilford Woodruff, Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, sel. G. Homer Durham [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1946], p. 145).

“The Lord has chosen a small number of choice spirits . . . to come forth in the last day . . . to organize the Kingdom of God upon the earth, to build it up and to defend it” (Wilford Woodruff, as quoted in Our Lineage [course of study for genealogy classes, 1933], pt. 1, p. 4).

“You are not just ordinary young men and young women. You are choice spirits, many of you having been held back in reserve for almost 6,000 years to come forth in this day, at this time when the temptations, responsibilities, and opportunities are the very greatest. . . .

“. . . We pray that you will be prepared for the reins of leadership. . . .

“. . . I pray that you—the young and rising generation—will keep your bodies and minds clean, free from the contaminations of the world, that you will be fit and pure vessels to bear off the kingdom of God triumphant in preparation for the second coming of our Savior” (Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1977, pp. 43, 46–47; or Ensign, Nov. 1977, pp. 30, 32).

“The Lord has now sent a wonderful generation of youth who will not be men and women to be conquered. . . .

“Remember, my young friends, you must be lean and hard. You must be fit for the race. You must place character, integrity, and principles of truth as the guiding lights for the dark days ahead. . . .

“Future greatness . . . awaits those who are pure and true to the teachings and example of the Master” (Vaughn J. Featherstone, “These Are Not Men to Be Conquered,” New Era, Apr. 1980, p. 5).

“Sisters, you were not born at this time and place by chance. You are here because this is where the Lord wants you to be. . . .

“. . . Strong women are needed, women who will stay morally clean when all about them do not, women who will establish homes that are a little bit of heaven and where the family is upheld and little children are cared for and given love and attention by their own mothers, women who will shun pornography—not just older women, but young women too, who will seek personal and social refinement, who will strive to become more cultured, who will respect the authority of the home and the priesthood. As the Church grows, there will be a need for more women who are leaders, for more women everywhere who have the courage to proclaim their testimony of Jesus Christ, women who will pray and study to find out what the Lord requires of them and who will then make right choices and put themselves in the hands of the Lord” (Betty E. Brown, in Conference Report, Melbourne Australia Area Conference 1976, p. 29).

“You, our youth of today, are among the most illustrious spirits to be born into mortality in any age of the world. . . . Be prepared to become leaders in that glorious millennial day when Christ himself will reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords” (Harold B. Lee, Happiness through Faith in Jesus Christ [family home evening manual, 1977–78], pp. 34, 39).

Handout

Give each young woman the card that you have prepared for her containing the words you have chosen to remind her of her royal role. Ask her to keep it where she may refer to it often.

Conclusion

Hymn

Sing or read together all the verses of the hymn “Come, O Thou King of Kings” (Hymns, no. 59).

Lesson 30

Service

Objective

Each young woman will find joy in serving.

Preparation

Bring two or three tools, or pictures of tools, such as a hammer, saw, rake, shovel, or screwdriver.

Write “By Love Serve One Another” (Galatians 5:13) on a wordstrip to be used in the lesson.

Before the lesson, discuss with the class presidency what service means and the ways class members might serve, both individually and as a group. At the conclusion of the class period, the young women may wish to choose an individual or group service project.

Ask four young women to prepare to present the examples of service from the lives of four prophets (found in the second section of this lesson).

Review the counsel about service on pages 38–39 of For the Strength of Youth.

Assign class members to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction: The Lord’s Tools

Display and discussion

Display or show pictures of some tools.

What makes these tools work?

Explain that no matter what the purpose of these tools, they can perform their function only in the hands of human beings.

Quotation and discussion

Elder Marion D. Hanks talked about the kind of tools Heavenly Father has to work with.

“The Lord said, speaking of His servants, ‘Their arm shall be my arm.’ [D&C 35:14] Have you thought about this? To me this is one of the most sacred and significant and personal commissions I can read about in the holy records or elsewhere. The Lord says this arm of mine is His arm. This mind, this tongue, these hands, these feet, this purse—these are the only tools He has to work with so far as I am concerned. . . . So far as you are concerned, your arm, your resources, your intelligence, your tongue, your energy, are the only tools the Lord has to work with” (Service, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Provo, 15 Oct. 1958], p. 3).

What does this statement mean to you?

Our Prophets Have Taught by Example How to Serve Others Unselfishly

Teacher presentation

The prophets, whom Heavenly Father has called to lead the Church and teach the people, have shown by example how to serve unselfishly as tools of the Lord. The young women who have been previously assigned should now share the following stories with the class members.

Story and discussion

Joseph Smith

Mercy R. Thompson, a woman who knew the Prophet Joseph, wrote: “I can never forget the tender sympathy and brotherly kindness he ever showed toward me and my fatherless child. When riding with him and his wife Emma in their carriage I have known him to alight and gather prairie flowers for my little girl” (“Recollections of the Prophet Joseph Smith,” Juvenile Instructor, 1 July 1892, p. 399).

What attitude did Joseph Smith show in performing this act of service?

Story and discussion

George Albert Smith

“On a train between Salt Lake City and San Francisco, President [George Albert] Smith met a [man] from Napa, California.” The two men enjoyed a pleasant conversation and, after parting, began to correspond.

“Some time later President Smith realized that he was not hearing from his friend, John Delaney.” On inquiring, President Smith learned that Mr. Delaney was in the hospital. “President Smith sent messages of cheer and encouragement and suggested that . . . Mr. Delaney . . . might enjoy listening to the Tabernacle Choir broadcast each Sunday morning.” Mr. Delaney did listen, and his spirits were lifted. He wrote to thank President Smith and mentioned that “he hoped sometime he could hear the choir sing one of his favorite selections, ‘The Lord’s Prayer.’ . . . To his surprise and great pleasure he heard the choir sing it the very next Sunday morning. Imagine Mr. Delaney’s delight when he heard the great Tabernacle organ ringing out the introduction” of the hymn his friend had taken the time to arrange. (See Edith Smith Elliott, “The Joy of Serving Humanity,” Instructor, Nov. 1966, p. 427.)

What can you learn about serving others from President Smith’s example?

Story and discussion

Joseph Fielding Smith

When Joseph Fielding Smith was thirty-four years old, he was called as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. As an Apostle, he traveled throughout the world and was known by members everywhere. But his wife gave a more personal view of this great man:

“The man I know is a kind, loving husband and father whose greatest ambition in life is to make his family happy, entirely forgetful of self in his efforts to do this. He is the man that lulls to sleep the fretful child, who tells bedtime stories to the little ones, who is never too tired or too busy to sit up late at night or to get up early in the morning to help the older children solve perplexing school problems. When illness comes the man I know watches tenderly over the afflicted one and waits upon him” (Ethel Smith, quoted in Bryant S. Hinckley, “Joseph Fielding Smith,” Improvement Era, June 1932, p. 459).

What did President Joseph Fielding Smith do that demonstrated his love for his family?

What can you learn from President Smith’s example about serving your own family?

Story and discussion

Spencer W. Kimball

Elder Boyd K. Packer tells the following story about President Spencer W. Kimball:

“The family and the friends and associates of President Kimball know that he is never still. There has always been a restlessness about him to be getting things done. . . .

“I passed [President and Sister Kimball] on the highway once, up near the Idaho border. They were heading north to [a] conference. Sister Kimball was driving, with Brother Kimball in the back seat, his little typewriter in its accustomed place on his lap, papers on either side of him, for this was an opportunity to work, to do more to help others” (“President Spencer W. Kimball: No Ordinary Man,” Ensign, Mar. 1974, p. 6).

How did President Kimball show that he loved the members of the Church?

In what way did Sister Kimball give service?

How does the work of the President of the Church bless your life now?

What can you learn about Church service from President Kimball’s experience?

Quotation

We can follow the example set by the prophets in being of service to others. President Spencer W. Kimball said: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other. . . . In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to ‘succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.’ (D&C 81:5.) So often our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks—but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds” (“There Is Purpose in Life,” New Era, Sept. 1974, p. 5).

Explain that mundane refers to simple, everyday acts. President Kimball taught, and the lives of the prophets illustrate, how daily acts of service bless people’s lives. Through service, people act as tools of their Heavenly Father.

The Attitude with Which We Serve Is As Important As the Service We Give

Wordstrip

Post the wordstrip “By Love Serve One Another.”

Story

The following story demonstrates how a group of young women functioned as effective tools of service:

Karen was born with brain damage, but the outlook for her to live a meaningful life was good, partly because of the help of several young women. During the first few months of life, Karen seemed like any other child. Then, slowly, her parents began to realize that she was not making the same progress her older brothers and sisters had made when they were small. When Karen’s parents learned that she had brain damage, they were heartbroken. However, the doctors encouraged them. Karen could learn to do many things if someone would take the time to work with her.

Karen’s parents tried to give her the love and attention she needed, but the other children in the family also needed the time of their parents. Learning of Karen’s problem, the young women in her ward offered to help. During the summer, a rotating schedule was set up so that the young women spent one hour each morning and afternoon. When the young women began to help, Karen had no muscles to support her body. The mother explained, “‘The girls helped build the muscles she has now. She began to crawl some; when they had worked with her for some time, she began crawling more. She needed constant stimulation and encouragement.

“‘The doctor suggested that she spend two hours a day in a jump swing to help build her leg muscles. During this time, Karen had to be entertained to keep her happy enough to spend an hour each morning and afternoon jumping up and down. The girls played games with her to keep her moving.’”

When school started in the fall, five of the young women, one Laurel and four Mia Maids, continued to visit Karen. Each of them chose one day a week after school to spend an hour with Karen. Because of the service given by the young women, Karen learned to do things that she might never have learned or that would have taken much longer for her to master.

Karen’s mother said, “‘The girls have been so dedicated. They took her for walks, read books to her, let her play in the leaves and just became good friends. Karen looked forward to seeing them come every day. She was walking by the time she was 2 1/2, just a year after the girls began their service project with her.’”

Karen’s mother also feels that with all the attention the young women gave Karen by playing with her, talking to her, holding her, and exercising her, the most important factor was that they loved and cared for her. (See “Young Women’s Loving Service,” Church News, 27 Nov. 1976, pp. 8, 13).

Discussion

Refer to the wordstrip and ask:

What do you think the Apostle Paul meant when he said, “By love serve one another”?

How did the young women show that they loved Karen and her parents?

What kind of sacrifices did the young women have to make to give loving service to Karen?

What should our attitude be when we give service?

Scripture

To answer this question, call on a young woman to read 2 Corinthians 9:7.

In Daily Acts of Service, Each Young Woman Can Experience Joy

Quotations and discussion

Ask the class members to listen to comments made by the young women who worked with Karen, expressing their feelings about the service they gave:

“‘It makes me feel good to know that I have helped somebody. . . . I didn’t think Karen would ever be able to walk when we first started. I used to put myself in her position and tried to imagine what it was like for her. I think that made me more determined to help her learn how to walk.’”

“One of [another young woman’s] biggest rewards is seeing Karen get excited about learning something new. ‘I think the time was well spent,’ she said” (“Young Women’s Loving Service,” p. 13).

If any of the young women have an experience they would like to share, encourage them to do so.

What are the rewards of service?

If you give service to someone who fails to thank you, who does not seem to appreciate your kindness, or who does not know you performed the service, how should you react? (Help the young women understand that service should not be given for the purpose of receiving thanks or praise.)

Teacher presentation

Remind the young women of President Spencer W. Kimball’s statement, “So often our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks—but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds.”

Discussion

How can you serve as a “tool” for Heavenly Father?

What kind of loving, daily service can you give to your family, your friends, and other people you meet?

How would giving this service bring you joy?

Give the young women some time to think about this question before they answer. Then let them discuss their ideas. You might suggest some types of service such as reading to a younger brother and sister, smiling or speaking kindly to a neighbor, or doing an errand for a family member or a neighbor.

Lesson Application

Encourage the young women to set a goal in the area of service and compassion if they are not already working on one.

Class president presentation

Allow the class president time to talk with class members about a group service project. Have them select a project and schedule it on a class calendar.

Living a Virtuous Life

Introduction

Note to the teacher

Through the scriptures and his prophets, the Lord has taught his standard of morality in each dispensation. The deterioration of standards in the world around us has created a great chasm between what the world accepts and what is approved by the Lord. We must know the Lord’s standard of morality in order to live it.

As you present the lessons in this unit, ensure that the young women are taught the Lord’s standard in an appropriate, sensitive manner suited to their stages of development and readiness for the material.

In these lessons you should be particularly conscious of the need for the Spirit’s direction in what you teach, how you teach, and when you teach it. Discussion should be confined to those areas that have been taught by the prophets and that are in the lesson materials.

The film Morality for Youth, included in the Come unto Me videocassette (53146), would provide an appropriate introduction or conclusion to the lessons in this unit. There is not enough time in a class period to show and discuss this film as well as teach a lesson from the manual; therefore, a separate class period should be used for the film.

Lesson 31

Group Activities: A Basis for Wise Dating

Objective

Each young woman will learn how suitable group activities can help develop wholesome friendships between young men and young women.

Preparation

Bring paper and a pencil for each class member.

If possible, make copies of the quotations in the second section of the lesson for class members to read aloud. You may want to divide the long quotation by President Spencer W. Kimball into three short quotations.

Review the counsel about dating on pages 24–25 of For the Strength of Youth.

Note to the teacher

Carefully read through the optional lesson material or activity at the end of this lesson. If you decide to use the panel discussion, make assignments well in advance.

Suggested Lesson Development

Group Activities Can Develop New Interests, Self-confidence, and Social Skills

Quotations and discussion

Read the following quotation from the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve:

“‘Mia Maid girls and teachers . . . have many activities of a social nature planned for them, both in their school and Church programs, which they should enjoy in groups. They should avoid boy-girl single-dating relationships’” (“Policies and Procedures,” New Era, Jan. 1971, p. 30).

President Spencer W. Kimball gave the youth of the Church the following advice:

“My beloved young people, you should be serious-minded. Life is not wholly for fun and frolic. It is a most serious business. You will do well to grow up as children, associating with both girls and boys for those first years. When you get in the teenage years, your social associations should still be general acquaintance with both boys and girls. Any dating or pairing off in social contacts should be postponed until at least the age of 16 or older, and even then there should be much judgment used in selections and in the seriousness.

“Young people should still limit the close contacts for several years, since the boy will be going on his mission when he is 19 years old. There should be limited contacts and certainly no approach to the intimate relationships involving sex. There must never be any sex of any kind prior to marriage” (“Marriage—The Proper Way,” New Era, Feb. 1976, p. 5).

Ask the young women to review the steps of appropriate girl-boy relationships as stated by President Kimball. You may wish to outline these on the chalkboard as they respond.

Why do you think President Kimball said that dating should not begin until at least age sixteen or older?

Why is it important to follow this counsel?

“Every boy should have been saving money for his mission and be free from any and all entanglements so he will be worthy. When he is returned from his mission . . . , he should feel free to begin to get acquainted and to date. When he has found the right young woman, there should be a proper temple marriage. One can have all the blessings if he is in control and takes the experiences in proper turn: first some limited, social, get-acquainted contacts, then his mission, then his courting, then his temple marriage and his schooling and his family, then his life’s work. In any other sequence he could run into difficulty” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Marriage—The Proper Way,” p. 5).

This quotation talks about young men. Ask class members to explain how it applies to young women also.

What can you do now to prepare yourself for dating after you are sixteen? (Answers should include making friends with young men, developing new interests, and gaining social skills.)

Why is it important to have friends of the opposite sex without romantic attachments?

What benefits can come to young women and young men as they participate in group activities?

You may wish to list the young women’s responses on the chalkboard. Make sure the following points are mentioned: They acquire self-confidence. They find new areas of interest and activity. They learn about the interests of others. They learn how to talk with one another. They learn social skills. Through group associations, they become more interesting people.

Group Activities Form a Good Foundation for Dating

Point out that Church leaders have counseled young women to use the pre-dating years as a time of preparation, a time of becoming.

Quotations

“‘I see the pre-dating years as a time when the “becoming process” blossoms. Girls should have equal satisfaction in the “becoming process” as they have in arriving at a goal.’ . . . [The pre-dating years are a time] when the girl prepares for group activities, for having fun, for maturing, for developing. . . .

“. . . ‘There are so many things for girls to do instead of just waiting [to turn sixteen to date]. Girls can reach out, recognize where they are now and enjoy today instead of just waiting for tomorrow to happen’” (Ruth H. Funk, quoted by Gerry Avant, “Pre-dating Years: A Vital Season,” Church News, 3 Dec. 1977, p. 9).

“‘There are many wonderful things a girl can be doing other than waiting for a date, like just learning to enjoy people and developing friends, which can be exciting if the girl will let it be that way.

“‘A girl who has many friends seems to be the one who will attract even more. As she enlarges her circle of friends, others will be drawn in. While she may not be dating, she’ll be sharing experiences, building memories and having fun.

“‘If a girl becomes anxious at times, or impatient about waiting to date, she should remember to talk with her Heavenly Father about the matter.’

“. . . The preparation years, which are vitally needed, should not be too soon interrupted by early dating. ‘A girl should handle this time of her life carefully, waiting for the proper season so that when her associations do bring her into a dating pattern then she is prepared to recognize the qualities that she wants to emulate. . . .

“‘The pre-dating years, if used properly, can give a girl experiences that will help her develop characteristics that will allow her to be a powerful, positive influence upon others.’

“. . . Without the required time of preparation a girl’s associations can be very shallow. ‘Without the preparation time, a girl will be ill-prepared for the responsibilities that go with dating and strengthening others as well as herself’” (Ardeth G. Kapp, quoted by Avant, Church News, 3 Dec. 1977, pp. 9, 14).

“The urge for group activity is normal to the younger set, when they are not prematurely and immaturely stimulated in other ways, and the recreational and social activities of the crowd can be wholesome and entertaining. Physical and moral safety is increased in the multiplicity of friends. Group homemade recreation activities can be not only great fun but most beneficial.”

Interrupt the reading of this quotation, and ask the young women to listen carefully for ideas for group activities that President Kimball recommended.

If you have started a list of the benefits of group activities on the chalkboard, appoint another class member to add to this list as the remainder of President Kimball’s quotation is read. Otherwise, have class members record the benefits individually and review them together after the reading is finished.

“Firesides may create friendships, and inspire the spirit and train the mind. Group picnics can discipline youth in gentle manners and fellowship and extend circles of intimate friends.

“Sports can develop the body in strength and endurance. They can train the spirit to meet difficulties and defeats and successes, teach selflessness and understanding, and develop good sportsmanship and tolerance in participant and spectator. Drama can develop talent, teach patience, and foster fellowship and friendliness. Group music activities have similar effects, and also can soften and mellow the spirit and satisfy the aesthetic needs. . . .

“Well-ordered dances provide favorable places, pleasing times and auspicious circumstances in which to meet new people and to enlarge circles of friends. They can be an open door to happiness. In an evening of pleasurable dancing and conversation, one can become acquainted with many splendid young folk, every one of whom has admirable traits and may be superior to any one companion in at least some qualities. Here partners can begin to appraise and evaluate, noting qualities, attainments and superiorities by comparison and contrast. Such perceptive friendships can be the basis for wise, selective, occasional dating for those of sufficient age and maturity, this to be followed later in proper timing by steady dating, and later by proper courtship which culminates in a happy, never-ending marriage” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969], pp. 221–22).

Brainstorming

Hold a brainstorming session on new ideas for group activities. Explain the following guidelines for the brainstorming:

Be creative. Don’t discard any appropriate idea.

Think of how some activities that young men usually do could be expanded to include young women, and how young women’s activities could be expanded to include young men.

Consider activities that would be fun and would also develop confidence and social skills (such as learning to talk to one another comfortably, learning proper etiquette, and so forth).

The following ideas may help to stimulate discussion:

Competition

In teams with both young men and young women on each side, compete in any kind of sport or tournament. If you choose to do something that is new to some, be sure to give adequate instruction first. Possible activities are a chess tournament, a volleyball game, and a shirt-ironing competition where a shirt must be completed in a given time.

Make Your Own Movie

Take a video camera, costumes, and simple props or other needed items to an interesting setting. Write your movie script as you go. Plan to get together later for a showing.

Write Your Own Books

With scissors, paper, and glue, write children’s stories using illustrations from magazines or sketches by artists in the group. Donate finished books to hospitals or nurseries.

Instant Theater

Find a script of a short, humorous play or melodrama or write your own. Collect costumes and provide simple sound effects or music. Have each person choose a part and then read through the play without any rehearsal. You may want to videotape the play and watch it later with refreshments.

Holiday Fun

Find out how holidays are celebrated in countries other than yours. Celebrate a holiday as the native country does with appropriate food, decor, and entertainment.

Give Yourself Away

Take a group of children to the zoo, park, or playground. Bring lunch for them. Or plan a special program to perform in hospitals or for people who are confined to their homes.

Formal Dinner

Plan to prepare and eat a formal dinner using silver, china, and other appropriate items. Before the dinner, invite a specialist to teach social etiquette (which fork to use, how to eat certain foods, good manners, and so forth).

Discussion

If time permits, ask the young women how the activities they have suggested can help them become better friends with other young women and with young men.

How can these activities help us prepare for dating?

Lesson Application

Suggest that the young women follow the counsel of the Church concerning activities with young men, including dating (see For the Strength of Youth, pp. 24–25). Great maturity is shown by a young woman who has learned a correct principle and governs herself accordingly.

Additional Lesson or Suggested Activity

Note to the teacher

You may wish to continue this subject for a second week or have a fireside or midweek activity with three or four young men from your ward or branch or one nearby participating in a panel discussion on “Group Activities: Preparing for Wise Dating.”

If you decide to do this, invite the young men from the Aaronic Priesthood quorums well in advance. Be certain that the Young Women president clears the young men’s names with your bishop or branch president. Have the young women in your class submit questions to you two weeks in advance so you can compile a list of appropriate questions for the young men to consider.

How do you like young women to dress?

What do you like young women to talk to you about?

Do you like young women to call you on the telephone?

How do you feel about young women using profane and obscene language?

The young men will probably give more thoughtful and meaningful answers if they receive the questions ahead of time. Also, you may wish to give your guests a few appropriate resources and guidelines, such as the objective of this lesson and quotations you feel are appropriate for them to know (such as President Kimball’s statements).

Make sure the young men understand that the panel discussion is intended to help young people see the value of developing wholesome friendships within a group and of using group activities as a basis and preparation for wise dating.

You should act as moderator and as such should guide the discussion. Make sure all answers and comments are appropriate. Tactfully correct any wrong or inappropriate answers. As the moderator, you will set the tone for the presentation and inform the audience of the subject to be discussed. Begin the panel by introducing the participants. Ask the questions from the list you have compiled, but listen carefully to the responses and feel free to ask other questions that you feel are needed to clarify a response or amplify a point. Plan additional questions to use in case the discussion lags. Bring all the panelists into the discussion.

At the conclusion of the panel discussion, summarize the presentation and thank your guests for their participation.

Lesson 32

Personal Purity through Self-discipline

Objective

Each young woman will understand how self-discipline helps her live a virtuous life.

Preparation

Make five wordstrips to use following the story about Ann (see page 141).

Review the counsel about language and about sexual purity in For the Strength of Youth (pages 22–23 and 26–28).

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

We Can Learn to Discipline Ourselves

Story and discussion

Thunderous applause filled the concert hall. One of the world’s greatest violinists had just completed his final selection of the evening’s program. Eagerly, a woman made her way to the stage in hopes of expressing her admiration to this great artist. Threading her way through the crowd, she finally reached him. Shaking his hand, she said exuberantly, “Oh, I’d give my life if I could play like that!” He promptly responded, “Madam, I have!”

What do you think the violinist had to do in order to master the violin? (Discipline himself to practice, give up some things that might have been easier or more fun, have a desire, have an excellent teacher, set a goal to be a great artist.)

Teacher presentation and discussion

Explain that much of what we do or do not do in life is determined by our ability to discipline ourselves. This discipline includes doing things that are hard or difficult as well as not doing other things.

What are some things you have to do from day to day that you find hard to make yourself do?

How do you stop doing things you know you should not do?

Your brother has been teasing you. He just said something that makes you feel like you want to yell back or even hit him. Can you stop yourself from doing this?

It’s fast Sunday and you are very hungry, but it is not time to break the fast yet. Can you restrain yourself from eating?

Are you feeling a little struggle inside of yourself as we talk about these situations?

Point out that one part of us seems to want to “let go” and express our emotions or appetites; another part wants to exert control over our emotions and appetites. The controlling, restraining influence is exerted by our spirit.

Quotation

“One of the false notions of our society is that we are victims of our appetites and passions. But the truth is that the body is controlled by the spirit which inhabits it” (Terrance D. Olson, “Teaching Morality to Your Children,” Ensign, Mar. 1981, p. 14).

Chalkboard

Write on the chalkboard: “Our Spirit Controls Our Body.”

Teacher presentation

Some things about our bodies are easy to control, and others are more difficult. For example, we have good control over our fingers. If we tell one of our fingers to bend, it bends. If we tell it to unbend, it unbends. If we give our feet an order, they obey immediately. Suggest that we can also learn to choose which thoughts we will entertain, and thus learn to channel our thoughts in positive, constructive directions.

Activity

Explain that you are going to try an experiment in self-discipline. Ask each young woman to move her right hand in a circle, then to move her left foot back and forth, then to move her head up and down. Now ask each of them to sit very quietly and concentrate on anything except what you are going to describe to them. Then describe in detail a delicious food or dessert.

Which was harder, telling your hand or foot what to do, or telling your thoughts and emotions what to do?

Teacher presentation

Point out that many people do not believe they can control their thoughts and discipline themselves. But our minds can concentrate on only one thought at a time. We can exert control over our thoughts by choosing to think a different one. Some feel this kind of discipline is unnecessary, too difficult, or not worth the effort.

Quotation

“Some become enslaved with compulsive habits or yield to appetites or to improper actions, and plead that they are helpless before their habit—that they are compelled, persuaded; that temptation was stronger than their will to resist. But we can choose. . . . We can break bad habits; we can acquire good habits; we can choose what we think by the sheer determination to do so” (Richard L. Evans, “Self Control,” Improvement Era, Dec. 1963, p. 1113).

Teacher presentation

Acknowledge that it is hard to control ourselves, but it is something we can learn to do. Our Father in Heaven has told us to keep our thoughts, appetites, and emotions within certain bounds. As our Father, he would not ask us to do something that we are not capable of doing. We are his children. We have the capacity to become like him.

Story

Listen carefully to the following experience of a young woman named Ann. See if you can discover some things Ann did to learn to discipline herself.

“Everyone else was doing it, so why shouldn’t I? The commandments only said we shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain. I found myself trying to justify my reasons for swearing, but it wasn’t helping. I knew that it was wrong to swear, even if all my friends did it. It kept bothering me, and I finally decided that I had better do something about my problem. I felt somehow ‘dirty’ and unworthy to approach the Lord in prayer. But I knew that if I didn’t repent, it would just make matters worse.

“I started to try to control myself for just one day. I knew I had made swearing a habit. I heard so many vulgar expressions all day long at school that it seemed natural to swear also. I decided I would try to get through one day without doing it.

“The first day I consciously tried, and I did all right until lunchtime. Then everyone was excited and noisy, and before I knew it, my mouth had run right along with my emotions. I hardly realized I had said it; but when I was once again aware of my habit, I felt disappointed and sick inside.

“That night I prayed very hard and asked for strength. The next day I got up the courage to tell my two best friends at school that I didn’t feel good about our language and that I was trying to change. I tried again that day.

“I had no idea that it would be so hard. Somehow I always felt that living the gospel would always be easy. It took four days until I finally made it through one day without swearing. I was so excited but knew that each day I would have to be very careful. It would be too easy to slip and get back into my old habits.

“I kept praying all through this time for strength. I progressed and stopped the bad language, but I didn’t feel that I had been forgiven. Then we had a testimony meeting in our Young Women meeting. I asked my friends to forgive me for the bad example I had been. I felt the Spirit there so strongly that I couldn’t suppress my desire to bear my testimony. I expressed my love for my Heavenly Father and for his Son and for the gospel. When I had finished, it was like a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I knew that I had been forgiven.”

Discussion and wordstrips

Discuss Ann’s experience, using the following questions as a guide. After discussing each question, post the appropriate wordstrip that states a conclusion about self-discipline that can be drawn from the discussion.

How did Ann try to rationalize her behavior? Why do we try to rationalize our behavior in a similar way? Why should we avoid this? (Post the wordstrip “When we rationalize our breaking of the commandments, we weaken our ability to control ourselves.”)

What caused Ann to want to change her behavior? How did she feel? What happens when we break a commandment? (Post the wordstrip “When we break a commandment, we lose the Spirit of the Lord.”)

What were some of the things Ann did to discipline herself? How would telling her friends of her decision help her? How does taking one step at a time help us learn self-discipline? (Post the wordstrip “We learn to discipline ourselves by taking one step at a time.”)

What was Ann’s greatest source of strength in learning to discipline herself? (Post the wordstrip “Our Father in Heaven will strengthen us if we pray for his help.”)

How did Ann feel after she overcame her problem? How did bearing her testimony help bring her peace? (Post the wordstrip “Self-discipline brings us into harmony with our Father in Heaven and ourselves.”)

Ask the young women to share an experience they have had in disciplining themselves, emphasizing what they found to be helpful.

By Disciplining Ourselves We Can Live a Virtuous Life

Teacher presentation

Point out that whether we are learning to play a musical instrument, trying to control our temper, or making ourselves get up when we would rather sleep longer, our efforts to discipline ourselves in any aspect of our lives can help us in our efforts to live a virtuous life.

Story and discussion

Tell the following story:

“A missionary serving in the eastern United States was confronted by a college student who was less interested in the [gospel] message than in the missionary’s strict moral code. The student sneeringly asked the missionary how he controlled his desires when there were so many beautiful girls around, implying that the missionary must not [have normal feelings]. The elder explained: ‘It is not that I am abnormal; it is that I know I am responsible and in charge of mind and body. You think you are helpless in the face of your desires. You think you are a victim of them. I have proven to myself that I am the master of those feelings’” (Terrance D. Olson, “Teaching Morality to Your Children,” p. 14).

What was the difference in the point of view of the college student and the missionary? What had the missionary learned to do about his feelings and emotions?

Teacher presentation

Explain that being morally clean and virtuous requires physical restraint and self-control. Help the young women understand that as we exercise self-discipline, we strengthen our spirit’s control over our body. Our capacity to control ourselves increases every time we make a choice to do it.

Case studies and discussion

Select from the following situations those that would best fit your class. After each situation, ask the following questions: (1) How could the person use self-discipline in the situation? (2) What might happen if the person did not? (3) What could the person have done to prevent or avoid the situation? (4) How is self-discipline important in such situations? After class members respond to the questions, read the conclusions to the case studies.

Some of my friends at school invited me to a party. I was excited to go because one of the boys I particularly liked had told me he would be there and wanted me to come. I was really looking forward to being with him. When my girlfriends and I arrived, we realized that the parents were away and the party was unchaperoned. The lights were down low. Some of the kids were dancing and some others were pairing off, kissing, and necking. The fellow I liked saw me come in.

Conclusion: I knew I should leave the party, but I really liked this boy. I was worried about what he would think if I left. It was dark outside. I didn’t want to walk all the way home alone. Finally, I gained control of my feelings. I called my parents and asked them to come and pick me up.

I knew we weren’t supposed to date until we were sixteen, but I had a lot of fun at school talking and kidding around with boys. One of these was Brad, a good-looking boy who seemed to like me. One day at lunch he asked me to meet him at the shopping mall and go to a movie with him. There was a Young Women activity planned for the same time. It would be easy to tell my parents I was going to the activity and catch the bus to the mall instead. I would get back about the same time the activity was ending. I said, “Yes.” But when the time came for me to leave home, I felt really nervous. My mom called to me to make sure I had my jacket and said, “Have fun!” Then she went back into the house.

Conclusion: I started toward the bus stop. I should have felt happy. I was going to see a great movie with a boy who liked me. So why did I feel so bad? Half of me felt like running to the bus; the other half felt like running back. I stopped dead still on the sidewalk. I thought of all the pretending I would have to do when I came home, the lies I would tell for many days. Then I remembered a phrase my dad had taught us: “Where there’s a will, there’s a won’t.” I felt myself calming down, beginning to think more clearly. I told myself to go home, call Brad, tell him I wouldn’t be there and why, and then to get on to the activity. I then did what I told myself to do.

Conclude this part of the lesson by discussing how exercising self-discipline in situations such as those discussed will allow the young women to control themselves in living a virtuous life.

Conclusion

Teacher presentation and quotation

Point out that in each of the experiences discussed in this lesson, there was a struggle to exert self-discipline, but each person was able to do it. Each time we discipline ourselves, we strengthen our capacity to live a virtuous life. Conclude the lesson with the following statement by President Brigham Young, which reaffirms that we can learn to master ourselves. Ask the young women to listen for the promise we are given if we exert our self-control.

“When you are overtaken in a fault, or commit an overt act unthinkingly; when you are full of evil passion, and wish to yield to it, then stop and let the spirit, which God has put into your tabernacles, take the lead. If you do that, I will promise that you will overcome all evil, and obtain eternal lives” (in Journal of Discourses, 2:256; italics added).

Lesson 33

Avoiding Degrading Media Influences

Objective

Each young woman will recognize and avoid degrading media in her life.

Preparation

Make a chart on a poster or on the chalkboard. List in one column Satan’s tools identified by President Spencer W. Kimball in the first section of the lesson. In the second column, list President Ezra Taft Benson’s standards of judgment found in the second section of the lesson. In the third column, list Bishop H. Burke Peterson’s ways to avoid degrading media. Cover each column so it can be displayed separately at the appropriate time.

Prepare a handout for each class member of “Guidelines for Evaluating Media” (see page 147).

Optional: Bring one boiled egg with a white shell (if possible), a container filled with enough water to cover the egg, and food coloring and a spoon for demonstration. You could use a white piece of fabric instead of an egg.

Review the counsel about entertainment and the media on pages 17–19 of For the Strength of Youth.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Degrading Media Is One of Satan’s Most Powerful Tools

Discussion

Ask the young women to name some substances that could have both helpful uses and harmful effects. Include such items as insecticides, sprays, chemicals, and cleaning aids. Conclude that the effect of any of these could be either good or bad, depending on how they are used.

Teacher presentation and discussion

Explain that the skull and crossbones is the universal warning symbol for a poisonous substance. People all over the world recognize it as a graphic warning of what can happen to them if they take the substance into their bodies. Latter-day prophets have warned us of another kind of contamination that can be deadly, not to our bodies, but to our spirits and minds. The mass media—television, radio, movies, magazines, and newspapers—communicates to many people at the same time. These media can be used to further the work of the Lord on earth, to educate, and to entertain. But they can also be used to destroy. They are a chief tool of the adversary, who seeks to break down moral behavior in all of us.

Explain that although some people argue that we are unaffected by the sex, profanity, obscenity, and violence we may see in the media, this is not true.

Discuss with the young women what some of the damaging effects of sex, profanity, violence, and obscenity in the media might be.

Quotations

President Spencer W. Kimball has warned us of some of the dangers resulting from these exposures to degrading media:

“Tragedy . . . often begins with a visit to an [inappropriate] motion picture theater or fingering through an obscene magazine. The path to the grievous sins of fornication, adultery, and homosexuality can begin . . . with the viewing of some of the sex- and violence-oriented programs now being shown on television, including network television” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1976, p. 6; or Ensign, Nov. 1976, p. 6).

President Kimball also warned about the evils of pornography found in every form of mass media: “There is a link between pornography and . . . perversions. . . . It is ridiculous to imply that pornography has no effect. There is a definite relationship to crime. Murder, robbery, rape, prostitution, and commercialized vice are fed on this immorality. Sex crime statistics seem to reflect a relationship between crime and pornography” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, p. 7; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, p. 7).

Discussion

Ask the young women to give examples of shows or advertising that they are exposed to daily and tell how these influence the choices they make about the clothes they wear, products they use, entertainment, and other ways they spend time and money. Help the young women see how effective the influence of the media is in their lives. Discuss negative ways the media is influencing them.

Teacher presentation

Point out that we may not notice the effects of degrading influences all at once. We can let ourselves be weakened spiritually bit by bit, day by day, week by week until we are blinded to reality, numbed to the Spirit of the Lord, and engulfed in evil influences that lead to sin.

Poster or chalkboard

Display the first column of the poster or uncover the list on the chalkboard.

Quotation

President Spencer W. Kimball has described how this spiritual weakening takes place:

“Lucifer in his diabolical scheming deceives the unwary and uses every tool at his command. . . . He will use his [1] logic to confuse and his [2] rationalizations to destroy. He will [3] shade meanings, [4] open doors an inch at a time, and [5] lead from purest white through all the shades of gray to the darkest black” (“President Kimball Speaks Out on Morality,” Ensign, Nov. 1980, p. 94; numbering added).

Optional demonstration and discussion

To illustrate how Satan’s tools or methods can influence us little by little, demonstrate the following: Dip a boiled egg (or white piece of fabric) just once in water containing food coloring. Show the young women how it absorbs the coloring, even very lightly. Perhaps it is not even noticeable at first. Then put the egg in the colored water, spooning the water over the egg many times. Point out how the eggshell becomes a shade darker each time you cover it with the food coloring.

How does this experiment relate to our exposure to degrading media influences? How might viewing even one objectionable movie or television program affect you? Where could such continued exposure lead you?

Teacher presentation

Explain that we may sometimes feel that degrading media does not affect us personally as much as it influences others around us. Actually, we may not notice its negative effects until it becomes very difficult to remove them.

Quotation

“The great prophet Mormon, viewing his own fallen people, wrote his son Moroni a very telling indictment when he said that because of wickedness his people were ‘past feeling.’ (See Moroni 9:20Moro. 9:20.) How tragic to reach the point where the Spirit must withdraw, and we become unable to sense or feel right from wrong” (Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Oct. 1977, p. 109; or Ensign, Nov. 1977, p. 72).

Discussion

What does it mean to be past feeling in connection with objectionable media content? How can we become so accustomed to having these influences around us that we lose our judgment about what is degrading and what is not? How important are righteous standards in judging what we should see, hear, and read?

A Young Woman Can Judge Media and Avoid That Which Is Degrading

Teacher presentation

Point out that we should become informed before we select media to see, hear, or read. We are cautioned to select carefully those opinions on which we base decisions. Others may not use acceptable standards to judge the media. Professional reviewers may encourage everyone to enjoy a certain “great” movie, television show, music recording, or book even though there is objectionable material in it. President Ezra Taft Benson has given some standards to use as guidelines by which to judge the media. Although he refers mainly to the books we read, the same standards can be applied to other media.

Poster or chalkboard

Display the second column of the poster or uncover the following five standards already written on the chalkboard.

Quotation and discussion

“Today, with the abundance of books available, it is the mark of a truly educated man to know what not to read. . . . As John Wesley’s mother counseled him: ‘Avoid [1] whatever weakens your reason, [2] impairs the tenderness of your conscience, [3] obscures your sense of God, [4] takes off your relish for spiritual things, . . . [5] increases the authority of the body over the mind.’

“The fact that a book is old does not necessarily make it of value. The fact that an author wrote one good work does not necessarily mean that all his books are worthy of your time. Do not make your mind a dumping ground for other people’s garbage. It is harder to purge the mind of rotten reading than to purge the body of rotten food, and it is more damaging to the soul” (“In His Steps,” in Speeches of the Year, 1979 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1980], p. 61).

Discuss each of these five standards. Help the young women to understand that degrading media influences can cause the Spirit to withdraw, leaving us without the protection of the Holy Ghost. Ask the young women how they can use these five standards to determine what media they select.

Teacher presentation

Explain that it is becoming more and more difficult to separate ourselves from the influence of degrading media that seems to surround us. However, there are some precautions we can take to avoid it in the first place and some actions we can take if we are placed in circumstances beyond our control.

Quotation

Bishop H. Burke Peterson counseled us that “there should not be any [objectionable] movies that we participate in viewing or talking about. There must be no pornographic magazines, pictures, or stories. . . . Do you have the courage to walk out of an off-color . . . movie—or do you watch and listen, and suggest to yourself, ‘This soon will pass,’ or ‘Everyone is doing it; it must be an acceptable type of entertainment’? Have you the courage to keep out of your home some television shows that are filled with suggestive sexual conversation—and even experiences? Have you thought lately how effective these shows are in piercing even the strongest spirits? . . . We must not feed ourselves a diet of trash!” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1980, pp. 56–57; or Ensign, Nov. 1980, pp. 38–39; italics added).

Poster or chalkboard

Display the third column of the poster or point out the third column on the chalkboard. Review the suggested ways to avoid degrading media.

Case studies and discussion

Ask class members to discuss the suggestions on the poster or chalkboard as guides or possible solutions to the following case studies.

Diane was invited to a party with friends where a video was to be shown. She found out ahead of time that the movie was of questionable quality, and she was able to persuade her hostess to change it. But on another occasion, Diane found herself in a situation where she had not known beforehand what the entertainment would be. It was a movie that had received excellent reviews in the newspaper, and most of her friends had already seen it. They had all said that it was wonderful. Diane had heard that it included language, ideas, and scenes that she knew would embarrass her.

What were Diane’s alternatives? What would you do in these circumstances?

One of Sarah’s closest friends seemed constantly to be listening to her favorite radio station. One day their conversation drifted to the kind of music that particular station played. Sarah asked Mary why she listened to it when the words to much of the music suggested immorality of many kinds. Mary replied that she liked the beat and sounds of the music and did not pay much attention to the words anyway.

What effect might the lyrics have on Mary even though she does not consciously listen to them? What might Sarah have said to Mary?

A young man was in a big city for a school competition. His chaperon was ill, and he knew no one. He had an evening free, so he stayed in his hotel room and looked up the television listings. To his dismay, he learned that only a cable movie station was available, and it offered a suggestive movie. He spent the entire evening arguing with himself about whether he should watch it or not. It became a real battle of self-discipline trying to overcome the temptation to watch when no one would know. (See Jack Weyland, “The Quiet War,” New Era, Oct. 1981, pp. 12–19.)

A father telephoned a theater where a movie was playing that his family planned to see. He was told by the manager that it was “acceptable family entertainment.” When the family arrived, the very first scene was an explicit bedroom scene. The entire family walked out of the theater.

What did this father teach his children? If the father had chosen to stay, which tool of Satan’s would have been used if the children continued to follow his example on other occasions?

Dan and Martha were trying to decide what to do one evening. Dan suggested seeing a movie. “That’s fine with me, but I want to warn you that I walk out of movies that are below my standards,” Martha replied.

Martha had obviously set a standard that she would not go beyond. What would a young man think of a young woman who not only set such high standards, but actually kept them even though she risked offending her date?

Quotation and discussion

President Ezra Taft Benson said, “Some of the greatest battles you will face will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul” (“In His Steps,” p. 60).

Point out that sometimes we are the only person viewing a television show or looking at a magazine rack. Ask the young women to remember what television shows they have watched when no one else was at home. Which of Satan’s tools would the young women be using if they watched something objectionable in these circumstances?

Conclusion

Explain that the influence of mass media is felt by millions of people. But we can do much individually to avoid its degrading effect on us. We may have to search and wait for worthwhile productions and books. We will have to know or learn how to be selective in what we read, see, and listen to. We will need to exercise restraint and self-discipline in the choices we make daily.

Lesson Application

Handout

Give the young women copies of the handout “Guidelines for Evaluating Media” (see page 147). Suggest that they use these guides to avoid degrading media in their lives. Ask them to include this handout in their journals.

Lesson 34

Worthy Thoughts

Objective

Each young woman will understand that virtuous thoughts lead to a virtuous life.

Preparation

Prepare a poster of this scripture, or write it on the chalkboard: “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly” (D&C 121:45). Prepare a handout of this scripture for each young woman. See the suggestion at the end of the lesson.

Prepare to present the counsel from Elder Boyd K. Packer about worthy music and worthy thoughts. You may want to copy the counsel and cut it into strips for the young women to read.

Review the counsel about music on page 20 of For the Strength of Youth.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

As We Learn to Control Our Thoughts, We Gain the Strength to Live a Virtuous Life

Teacher presentation

Explain that some of the young women in your class may know someone who has broken the law of chastity and who wholeheartedly wishes he or she had not committed that serious mistake. This lesson will provide each young woman with a key ingredient to a virtuous life.

Quotation

Ask the young women to listen to the following statement by Elder Boyd K. Packer and pick out this key ingredient: “Our thoughts are the switchboard, the control panel governing our actions” (Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Provo, 26 Sept. 1967], p. 4).

Poster or chalkboard discussion

Display the poster of Doctrine and Covenants 121:45, or refer to the scripture on the chalkboard.

Why do you think the Lord tells us to have virtue in our thoughts “unceasingly”?

Teacher or class presentation

Present the following counsel from Elder Packer, or if you have copied it and cut it into strips, have class members read it. To introduce this material, explain that Elder Packer tells how virtue can garnish our thoughts and how, by learning to control our thoughts, we can live a virtuous life. Ask the young women to listen for specific ways they can develop the ability to control their thoughts.

“When I was a boy, we lived in a home surrounded by an orchard. There never seemed to be enough water for the trees. The ditches, always fresh-plowed in the spring, would soon fill with weeds. One day, in charge of the irrigation turn, I found myself in trouble. As the water moved down the rows choked with weeds, it would flood in every direction. I worked in the puddles trying to build up the bank. As soon as I had one break patched up there would be another. A neighbor came through the orchard. He watched for a moment, and then with a few vigorous strokes of the shovel he cleared the ditch bottom and allowed the water to course through the channel he had made. He said, ‘If you want the water to stay in its course, you’ll have to make a place for it to go.’

“I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself.

“As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. I had been told a hundred times or more as I grew up that thoughts must be controlled, but no one had told me how. I’ve thought about this over the years and have decided that the mind is like a stage. During every waking moment the curtain is up. There is always some act being performed on that stage. It may be a comedy, a tragedy, interesting or dull, good or bad; but always there is some act playing on the stage of your mind.

“Have you noticed that shady little thoughts may creep in from the wings and attract your attention in the middle of almost any performance on that stage and without any real intent on your part? These delinquent thoughts will try to upstage everybody. If you permit them to go on, all thoughts of any virtue will leave the stage. You will be left, because you consented to it, to the influence of unrighteous thoughts. If you yield to them, they will enact for you on the stage of your mind anything to the limits of your toleration. They may enact themes of bitterness, jealousy, or hatred. They may be vulgar, immoral, even depraved. When they have the stage, if you let them, they will devise the most clever persuasions to hold your attention. They can make it interesting all right, even convince you that they are innocent, for they are but thoughts. What do you do at a time like that, when the stage of your mind is commandeered by the imps of unclean thinking, whether they be the gray ones that seem almost clean, or the filthy ones which leave no room for doubt? If you can fill your mind with clean and constructive thoughts, then there will be no room for these persistent imps, and they will leave.

“I realize that in today’s world it’s often difficult to keep your mind filled with worthy thoughts. This takes careful control. However, it can be done when you make a safe place for your thoughts to go. I’ve found a way to make such a place, and I’d like to share it with you. It has to do with music—worthy music. A wise man once said, ‘Music is one of the most forceful instruments for governing the mind.’ Whether it governs in a positive way or a negative way is determined by what it brings onto the stage of your mind. If you can say that a song is spiritually inspiring or that it urges you to see yourself in a more noble perspective, the music is worthwhile. If it merely entertains or lifts your spirits, then it also has a useful place. But if it makes you want to respond in a carnal, sensual way or to consider unrighteous desires, then that music should be avoided. It is not worthy.

“There have always been those who take the beautiful things and corrupt them. It’s happened with nature; it’s happened with literature, drama, art; and it certainly has happened with music. For centuries it’s been obvious that when the wrong kind of words are set to appealing music, songs can lead men astray. And music itself, by the way it is played, by its beat, by its intensity, can dull the spiritual sensitivity.

“We are living at a time when society is undergoing a subtle, but powerful, change. It is becoming more and more permissive in what it will accept in its entertainment. As a result, much of the music being performed by popular entertainers today seems to be more intended to agitate than to pacify, more to excite than to calm. Some musicians appear openly to promote unrighteous thoughts and action.

“Young people, you cannot afford to fill your minds with the unworthy music of our day. It is not harmless. It can welcome onto the stage of your mind unworthy thoughts and set a tempo to which they dance and to which you may act. You degrade yourself when you identify with those things that at times surround extremes in music—the shabbiness, the irreverence, the immorality, the addictions. Such music is not worthy of you.

“Be selective in what you listen to and produce. It becomes part of you. It controls your thoughts and influences the lives of others as well. I would recommend that you go through your music and throw away that which promotes degrading thoughts. Such music ought not to belong to young people concerned with spiritual development.

“I don’t mean by this that all of today’s music produces unworthy thoughts. There is music today that builds understanding of people; music that inspires courage; music that awakens feelings of spirituality, reverence, happiness, and awareness of beauty.

“The Lord has said, ‘For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads’ (D&C 25:12). The First Presidency of the Church, commenting on the influence of music in our lives, has said:

“‘Through music, man’s ability to express himself extends beyond the limits of the spoken language in both subtlety and power. Music can be used to exalt and inspire or to carry messages of degradation and destruction. It is therefore important that as Latter-day Saints we at all times apply the principles of the gospel and seek the guidance of the Spirit in selecting the music with which we surround ourselves’ (Priesthood Bulletin, Dec. 1970, p. 10).

“We have great confidence in you, the youth of our Church. We have moved to a pattern of programming where your desires and wishes are more dominant in our activities. This places great responsibility on you, especially those of you who have been called to positions of leadership. Let me say to you young leaders, pay careful attention to the music you program for your activities. Consult with your advisers as selections are made. You need the benefit of their wisdom, for the breach between the Church and the world, with the extremes of its music, is wider in our day than ever in generations past.

“President J. Reuben Clark, one of our great Church leaders, explained it this way:

“‘We may not, under our duty, provide or tolerate an unwholesome amusement on the theory that if we do not provide it the youth will go elsewhere to get it. We could hardly set up a roulette table in the church amusement hall for gambling purposes, with the excuse that if we do not provide it the youth would go to a gambling hall to gamble. We can never really hold our youth thus.’

“Nor is it proper to provide the kind of music and atmosphere that attracts youth in the world. You must stand firm and not compromise with what you know is right and good; you must have the courage to turn the lights up and the music down when they don’t contribute to the kind of atmosphere that produces worthy thoughts; and you must insist on high standards of dress and performance from those who entertain as well as those who attend. I would remind you that it is not our privilege, not the privilege of any of those called as leaders, whether youth or adult, to slide the Church about, hoping to put it into the path that youth seem already to be traveling. The Church is fixed and anchored, moored solidly to the truth, and all will be safe within it. Our task is to provide the kind of leadership that will create a clear channel for the youth to follow, a channel that will help them raise their standards and keep them safe from the unworthy influences of the world. I would counsel you to develop your talents, and if you have musical talent, think of this: There is much music yet to be created, much to be performed. Yours can be the worthy music that will be uplifting, that will spread the gospel, touch hearts, give comfort and strength to troubled minds.

“There are many examples, both ancient and modern, that attest to the influence of righteous music. Discouragement disappeared and minds were filled with peace as the words to ‘Come, Come, Ye Saints’ gave the pioneers courage to face their trials. This same song has been an inspiration to many over the years. At one time I was talking to a pilot who had just returned from a hazardous flight. We spoke of courage and of fear and I asked how he had held himself together in the face of what he had endured. He said, ‘I have a favorite hymn, and when it was desperate, when there was little hope that we would return, I would keep it on my mind and it was as though the engines of the aircraft would sing back to me.’

“‘Come, come, ye Saints,

No toil nor labor fear;

But with joy wend your way.

Though hard to you

This journey may appear,

Grace shall be as your day.’

“From this he clung to faith, the one essential ingredient to courage.

“The Lord himself was prepared for his greatest test through the influence of music, for the scripture records: ‘And when they had sung an hymn, they went out into the mount of Olives’ (Mark 14:26).

“Remember, young people, I want each of you to remember that this is your Church, and he is your Lord and your Savior who stands at the helm. His constant guidance and inspiration are available to you when you keep your mind filled to overflowing with the good, the beautiful, the inspiring. And this is one way to do it. Choose a favorite hymn or song, just as my pilot friend did, one with words that are uplifting and music that is reverent, one that makes you feel something akin to inspiration. There are many beautiful songs to choose from. Seek the guidance of the Spirit in making your selection. Go over the song in your mind carefully. Memorize it. Even though you have had no musical training, you can think through a simple song. Now use this as the course for your thoughts to follow. Make it your emergency channel.

“Whenever you find shady actors slipping from the sidelines of your thinking onto the stage of your mind, put on this record, as it were. It will change your whole mood.

“Because the music is uplifting and clean, the baser thoughts will slip shamefully away. For while virtue, by choice, will not associate with filth, evil cannot tolerate the presence of light. In due time you will find yourself humming the music inwardly, almost automatically, to drive out unworthy thoughts. As you involve yourself with righteous and worthwhile things, keep your minds filled with worthy thoughts, young people, for as a man thinketh so is he and you will have the ability to accomplish those things that will bring fulfillment to your lives.

“You are a son or a daughter of Almighty God. I bear witness that God is our Father, that we are his children, that he loves us and has provided great and glorious things in this life. I know this, and I thank him for the uplifting influence of good music in my life which has influenced my thoughts and uplifted my soul” (script from Worthy Music, Worthy Thoughts [filmstrip, 1976]; see also Ensign, Jan. 1974, pp. 27–28, or in Conference Report, Oct. 1973, pp. 23–25).

Discussion

After presenting Elder Packer’s counsel, discuss how the young women can develop the ability to control their thoughts. You may wish to use the following questions:

What does Elder Packer say is probably the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life? (Learning to control your thoughts.)

What are some benefits of being able to control your thoughts? (Overcoming habits, gaining courage, conquering fear, having a happy life.)

Who decides what your thoughts are? (You do.)

Can you think of some ways in which unworthy thoughts are made to seem innocent and harmless?

What can you do to rid your mind of unclean thoughts?

What does Elder Packer suggest using to help us control our thoughts? (Worthy music.)

What are the dangers of unworthy music? (It invites unworthy thoughts and often suggests or is accompanied by irreverence, immorality, and addictions.)

What kind of music should we seek? (Uplifting, inspiring music that promotes spirituality, reverence, happiness, and awareness of beauty.)

What is one of the blessings promised if we keep our minds filled to overflowing with the good, the beautiful, and the inspiring? (The constant guidance and inspiration of the Holy Ghost.)

What did Elder Packer recommend that we do to help us control our thoughts? (Select a hymn, learn it, and use it as a channel for our thoughts.)

Lesson Application

Suggest that each young woman select a hymn that she could use as Elder Packer suggested. Encourage them to memorize the words of the hymn and to use it as a channel for their thoughts to follow.

Handout

Give each young woman a handout with the scripture “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly” written on it (see the example below). They may wish to write the name of the hymn they chose on the back of the handout. Call on a young woman to reread Doctrine and Covenants 121:45.

Suggested Activity

Have class members evaluate the music recordings they have at home and discard those that will not help them have worthy thoughts.

Lesson 35

Living Righteously amid Pressures

Objective

Each young woman can learn to live righteously amid worldly pressures.

Preparation

Picture 17, Daniel (62096), located in the back of the manual.

Bring hymnbooks and pencils for the class members.

Prepare a copy of the handout “Righteous Living amid Pressures” for each young woman (see page 157).

Optional: Prepare a handout for each young woman that says, “May I withstand worldly pressures today so I may reign in celestial glory in the eternities.” (See the conclusion of the lesson.)

Assign a young woman to be prepared to lead the class in singing “True to the Faith” (Hymns, no. 254). You may want to end the class period by singing this hymn.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Teacher presentation

Evan Stephens, once the conductor of the Tabernacle Choir, had just finished leading the choir in a session of general conference. He quietly took his seat and then leaned a bit forward, anxiously awaiting the message President Joseph F. Smith was about to deliver. He was thrilled with the prophet’s sermon, which was on the subject of youth, the worldly pressures they encounter, and the importance of their being true to the teachings of the gospel. At the close of the service, Brother Stephens strolled alone up City Creek Canyon, pondering the inspired words of the President. He sat “upon a rock which was standing firm under the [intense] pressure of the rushing water.” The rock seemed to him symbolic of what he had heard that morning. Suddenly the words and music came to him for what would become one of the youth’s favorite hymns. While sitting on that rock, he penciled the words and composed the music to “True to the Faith.” He, like the prophet, loved the youth and said this song “was his spiritual advice to them.” (Adapted from J. Spencer Cornwall, Stories of Our Mormon Hymns [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1963], pp. 173–74.)

Discussion

Distribute hymnbooks and have class members turn to “True to the Faith” (no. 254). Ask them to take turns reading the four verses and the chorus.

What message was the composer trying to express?

We Can Live Righteously in an Unrighteous World

Teacher presentation and discussion

Point out that since the beginning of time, men and women have shown tremendous courage in choosing not to “falter” but to live righteously amid pressure from the unrighteous world around them. A classic scriptural example of this was Daniel in the Old Testament.

How did Daniel prove that it is possible to live righteously in an unrighteous world?

Have the young women find the book of Daniel in the Old Testament.

Handout

Give each class member a copy of the handout “Righteous Living amid Pressures” (see page 157). Read the following quotation, which summarizes one of Daniel’s tests:

Quotation and discussion

“Daniel was brought into a strange land as a youth—a land with strange customs, a strange tongue, strange environment, and a strange [religion]. . . . His first test . . . came when the king ordered that [those who had been brought to Babylon were to] drink of his wine and eat of his rich food. Daniel understood from the commandments that he had been taught by his parents, the commandments of the Lord, that these things were not good for his body. . . . Daniel and his friends [had been] taught to keep the commandments of God. . . . Daniel begged that he and his friends be allowed to follow the health rules that had been given to them.” He suggested a ten-day test to see which kind of diet would be better. (See L. Tom Perry, “In the World,” Speeches of the Year, 1981 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1981], pp. 2–7.)

Discuss the questions from the handout as outlined below. Allow time to look up the scripture references.

What were the results of Daniel’s diet compared to the king’s food? (Daniel 1:15)

How did God bless Daniel and his friends for being faithful and obeying his law of health? (Daniel 1:17)

Teacher presentation and discussion

Daniel’s second challenge came when King Nebuchadnezzar had a dream and wanted it interpreted. None of the magicians or astrologers in the kingdom could tell the king what his dream was or what it meant. This made the king so angry that he commanded that all of the wise men of Babylon be killed, including Daniel.

What did Daniel do when he heard what the king was planning to do? (Daniel 2:16)

How did Daniel receive the answers he needed concerning the king’s dream? (Daniel 2:18–20)

After Daniel gave the interpretation of the dream to the king, what was the king’s reaction? What was Daniel’s reward? (Daniel 2:47–48)

Quotations and discussion

Daniel yet had a third test. “He made his way to a position of prominence under three kings [and] was appointed the head of all the princes. The . . . princes were jealous of Daniel. . . . They tried to find something that was wrong, that they could take and present before the king. When they found nothing, they had to [devise] another plot. The wicked princes presented a new law to the king which stated that for thirty days no one in the kingdom would be allowed to pray [but must] praise only the king. The king seemed to think that was a good idea . . . , so he put a penalty on [those who defied] the law. . . . When Daniel heard the new law, he was greatly troubled, [for] prayer [and] communication with his God [were extremely important to him]” (Perry, “In the World,” p. 6).

What was the penalty for disobeying this law? (Daniel 6:7)

What did Daniel do, even though he knew of the decree and its penalty? (Daniel 6:10)

“Those who wanted to have Daniel out of the way spied on him in his house, and, when they saw him praying, [they told the king]. The king loved Daniel, and he realized what a terrible trick had been played on him by the wicked princes. He tried to change the law to save Daniel from the lions, but the princes reminded him that no law that the king had made could be changed” (Perry, “In the World,” p. 6).

What did the king say to Daniel as they threw him into the lions’ den? (Daniel 6:16)

“Daniel had set such a great example before the king that [the king] trusted [Daniel’s] God [to] deliver Daniel from the den of the lions. The king spent all night fasting for Daniel. In the morning he rushed to the den of lions and cried out [to him]” (Perry, “In the World,” p. 6).

What did the king ask Daniel? (Daniel 6:20) What was Daniel’s response? (Daniel 6:22)

After witnessing this miracle and Daniel’s loyalty to his God, what decree did the king make? (Daniel 6:26–27)

Discussion

Ask the young women to silently compare their own commitments to their beliefs to Daniel’s.

Would you have the courage to do what Daniel did?

Teacher presentation

Point out the tremendous influence Daniel alone had on an entire kingdom by choosing to live righteously. Explain that our challenges today will take a different form from Daniel’s. But they may seem as difficult to us as Daniel’s did to him. And the consequences of our decisions will be as far-reaching.

Story and discussion

Tell the following story of a young woman who refused to lower her dating standards:

“She was the only member of the Church in her class in school. She was a popular young lady with the boys, and had many opportunities to go out on dates. The boys in her class did not live by the standards she had been taught in our Church. She made the decision to tell every boy who asked her for a date what standards she lived by. If she were to date them, they would be expected to conduct themselves in accordance with her standards. She would get such a commitment from them before she accepted a date. One day the big campus football hero came up to her before the most special dance of the year and said, ‘You know, I would ask you to go to the dance with me if you would lower your standards just a little.’

“There was no hesitation in her voice as she replied, ‘If I would go out with you, I would be lowering my standards.’ Be strong enough to make your decisions not to follow worldly ways” (L. Tom Perry, in Conference Report, Oct. 1979, p. 51; or Ensign, Nov. 1979, p. 36).

Why do you think this young woman had the courage to respond as she did?

Teacher presentation

Point out that Daniel was not left without help when he chose to live righteously, and neither are we. The Lord loves all of his children, wants us to succeed, and has not left us to flounder helplessly. However, he also wants us to learn from our experiences so we might have the knowledge and courage to act righteously more frequently.

Quotation

Read the following quotation:

“He is a loving Father who wants us to have the happiness that results not from mere innocence but from proven righteousness. Therefore, he will, at times, not deflect the harsh learning experiences that may come to each of us—even though he will help us in coping with them” (Neal A. Maxwell, “Talk of the Month,” New Era, May 1971, p. 30; italics added).

Chalkboard discussion

What sources of help other than our Heavenly Father are available to us in our quest to live righteously?

Write the young women’s responses on the chalkboard. Some of their answers might include: parents and other family members, the Holy Ghost, scriptures, priesthood and Church leaders, good friends. Ask for examples of how we might use these other sources in various situations to help us live righteously. Ask the young women to share some experiences they may have had in striving to live righteously amid worldly pressures.

Joy and Blessings Come to Those Who Choose Righteousness

Discussion

What blessings came as a result of Daniel’s strong conviction?

Teacher presentation

Point out that Daniel knew he couldn’t feel good about himself if he defied his God. To him, that would be worse than death itself. How could he have real joy in his heart and inner peace if he turned his back on what he knew to be true or refused to make his convictions known? And so, in spite of worldly pressures and trying circumstances, he chose to live righteously. In so doing, he was blessed by Heavenly Father and rewarded by the king. We likewise are blessed when we choose to live a virtuous and righteous life. We may be tested and perhaps will not acquire the wealth and fame that the world advocates, but we will be rich in the more important areas of our lives.

Quotation and discussion

Elder James E. Faust said: “Since virtue and faith too often do not readily trade in the marketplace, some may feel that they can live by whatever standards their whim or fancy suggest. In a value-free society—free of morals, free of standards—many also live free of feelings of self-worth, self-respect, and dignity. Far too many young people, and older ones, too, fail to realize, as the motto of the city of Nottingham, England, affirms: Vivet post funera virtus (‘virtue lives on after death’” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1981, p. 9; or Ensign, May 1981, p. 9).

What are some of the joys and blessings that come from virtuous and righteous living? Why are these more important than being honored with the praise and glory of the world?

Conclusion

Despite the gloomy picture that the world so often paints, there are modern-day Daniels in our midst. We too can be like Daniel and live righteously amid the pressures around us, knowing our Heavenly Father will always be there to sustain and bless us. We can be “true to the faith” and not “falter.”

Optional hymn

As a closing song, sing “True to the Faith” (Hymns, no. 254).

Optional handout

“May I withstand worldly pressures today so I may reign in celestial glory in the eternities.”

Lesson 36

The Importance of Truth in Living a Virtuous Life

Objective

Each young woman will understand the importance of truth in living a virtuous life.

Preparation

Prepare wordstrips as indicated in the first section of the lesson.

Prepare a poster of the chalkboard illustration as suggested in the second section of the lesson, or draw it on the chalkboard.

Optional: Prepare the handout as shown under “Lesson Application” (page 161).

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

We Can Know the Truth of All Things

Fill in the blanks

Write the following sentence on the chalkboard: “ is knowledge of things as they and as they , and as they .” Ask the young women to turn to Doctrine and Covenants 93:24 to fill in the missing words of this definition of truth. After they have supplied the missing words, have each young woman mark this scripture. Ask one young woman to read it aloud.

Teacher presentation

Referring to the scripture, help the young women understand that eternal truth does not change. The truth that God has revealed to us here on earth is the same that was taught in our premortal life, and it will be the same eternally. It does not change.

Post the wordstrip “Truth Does Not Change.”

Scripture discussion

How do we find truth?

Ask two young women to find and read James 1:5 and Jacob 4:13. Emphasize that God is the source of all truth. We can pray to our Heavenly Father and ask to know his truth. We learn this truth through the Spirit.

Quotation and discussion

President Kimball gave us this guidance to help us in our search for truth:

“You may know. You need not be in doubt. . . . The necessary procedure is: study, think, pray, and do. . . . The Lord has promised repeatedly that he will give you a knowledge of spiritual things when you have placed yourself in a proper frame of mind. . . . ‘And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.’ (Moroni 10:5.)” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Absolute Truth,” Ensign, Sept. 1978, pp. 7–8; italics added).

What are the four steps that President Kimball suggested will lead us to truth?

As the young women respond, post the appropriate wordstrips: “We Can Know the Truth If We:” “Study,” “Think,” “Pray,” “Do.” Use the following scriptures to help the young women know how to apply the steps.

Study. (John 5:39)

Think. (3 Nephi 17:2–3; Moroni 10:3; D&C 88:62–63)

Pray. (Jeremiah 29:12–13; Alma 5:45–46; Moroni 10:4)

Do. (John 7:16–17)

Story

Elder Richard G. Scott told the following story:

“The Lord gives us truth when we live righteously. Sometimes it comes in response to an urgent, sincere prayer for help when we need guidance. I remember one night in the mission field, . . . I had a strong impression that one of the missionaries was in trouble. I tried to think who it could be but could not. I . . . went up onto the flat part of our mission home roof. All night long I labored, reviewing in my mind each companionship, everything I knew about every missionary, and pled with the Lord that he might let me know where that missionary was that needed help. Finally, as the dawn began to break, I was impressed to know in which part of the mission he lived. . . . I went there and through appropriate interviews found and helped the individual the Lord wanted to help. Yes, God answers prayer and gives us truth when we live obediently and exercise the requisite faith” (“Truth,” in Speeches of the Year, 1978 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1979], p. 101).

Teacher presentation

Point out how the mission president applied the four steps identified on the wordstrips. Emphasize that the Lord used an “impression” to give the needed help and that the mission president had to think, labor by reviewing information in his mind, and plead with the Lord before he was able to know what to do.

Story

Tell the following experience of President Joseph F. Smith:

“As a boy . . . , I would frequently go out and ask the Lord to show me some marvelous thing, in order that I might receive a testimony. But the Lord withheld marvels from me, and showed me the truth, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little, until he made me to know the truth from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, and until doubt and fear had been absolutely purged from me. . . . By the whisperings of the still small voice of the Spirit of the living God, he gave to me the testimony I possess. And by this principle and power he will give to all the children of men a knowledge of the truth that will stay with them, and it will make them to know the truth, as God knows it, and to do the will of the Father as Christ does it” (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1939], p. 7).

Summary

Quickly summarize this part of the lesson by referring back to the wordstrips and restating them.

We Can Build a Virtuous Life on the Foundation of Truth

Scripture discussion

Read and mark the scriptures listed below. Using them as a basis for discussion, help the young women understand the points that follow.

Moses 5:58; 5:12. The truth of the gospel was taught to Adam and Eve, who taught it to their children.

Moses 5:13. Satan came among the descendants of Adam, deceiving many with his lies. “Rejection of God puts men under the influence of Satan. Under his influence they soon lose a knowledge of God and become carnal, sensual, and devilish” (Marion G. Romney, “Truth and Knowledge,” in Speeches of the Year, 1977 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1978], p. 63).

Poster or chalkboard discussion

Explain that one of the things we are here to learn is how to recognize the truth so we can choose good over evil. We need to realize that Satan will do all within his power to deceive us and lead us to become “carnal, sensual, and devilish.” Display a poster of the following chart, or refer to it on the chalkboard.

Referring to the chart, ask the following questions:

What is our condition as we enter earth life at birth?

As we grow and begin to form relationships, which of the two paths leads us along Satan’s course?

What behavior will take us along the course of God’s truth?

Which course represents what life is really like eternally?

Which course is a lie?

Scripture

Point out that our Father in Heaven has given us a key to determine good from evil and recognize his truth. Have the young women read and mark Moroni 7:15–17. When we are faced with a choice or want to know whether something is good or evil, we can ask ourselves, “Does it invite me to do good? Will it strengthen my faith in Christ?”

Scripture and story discussion

Ask the young women to find and read together John 8:32. Then tell and discuss the following stories. These will help the young women understand the importance of truth, how to recognize it, and how to act on it.

Ann was faced with a difficult situation in a dating relationship. She had a great interest in a young man who was not a member of the Church. “I remember praying to find out what was right for me, and when I got the answer, I didn’t want to listen. I felt that if I ended the relationship with this fellow, there would be no one for me. I fought the feelings that I received in my prayers, but I recognized that they were right. I knew in my heart what to do. I knew that if I continued in this relationship it would lead me away from where I should be going. I struggled but finally got the courage to follow the promptings I had received in my prayers. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us and hurts with us when we have to make hard choices.”

How did Ann learn the truth of her relationship with the young man?

What could have happened if Ann had turned away from the truth and continued to believe that this relationship was good for her?

How did learning the truth and following it make Ann free?

Which of the two courses represented on the chart is Ann following?

Jennifer was being interviewed by her bishop. He asked a question about a specific commandment. As he described the behavior associated with keeping the commandment, Jennifer suddenly recognized that she had done something wrong. Her heart beat faster and her hands began to perspire. She could mumble “Yes” and let the whole thing pass and get on to the other questions—or she could admit the problem.

Discuss which choices would be self-indulgent and which would require self-discipline.

What might happen if Jennifer ignored the prompting and chose to lie? Which of the two courses would she be on?

Quotation

Read the following description of the consequences of avoiding the truth. “No man will ever be totally free who is living a lie. Only he who bears or who has borne such a continuing burden can relate appropriately to such a declaration. We should ever bear in mind that a wrong isn’t right just because many people do it. A wrong deed isn’t right just because it hasn’t become visible” (Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Apr. 1982, p. 14; or Ensign, May 1982, p. 11).

Point out that Satan actively tries to deceive us. If we want to avoid entering his paths, we must have the courage to do what we feel is right.

Conclusion

Teacher presentation

Explain that if we diligently study, think, pray, and do, we will build our lives on a sure foundation of gospel truth. We will understand the principles of the gospel, and as we strive to obey them, the Lord will sustain us in all our trials, afflictions, and hard choices. Being obedient to truth will free us from guilt, sorrow, and sin. We will be free to live a virtuous life and experience eternal joy, for “truth abideth forever and ever” (D&C 1:39).

Lesson Application

Optional handout

Give the young women the handout shown below. Ask them to use it to judge good from evil, or truth from error, by anticipating whether the behavior will lead them toward or away from the Lord.

Maintaining Physical Health

Lesson 37

Caring for Our Physical Bodies

Objective

Each young woman will learn to appreciate her physical body and keep it in the best possible condition.

Preparation

Picture 13, a temple, and picture 18, girls exercising (located at the back of the manual).

Obtain paper and a pencil for each young woman.

Obtain grooming aids such as soap, water, deodorant, a comb, a brush, shampoo, a toothbrush, and a fingernail file.

Draw a large outline of a girl on poster paper and cut it into five sections, puzzle-fashion, as shown. Label as illustrated. Prepare to display it on a tackboard or on a larger poster.

Before the lesson, have the young women complete the following strength and endurance test: See how many times they can jump rope without missing or stopping. They may want to practice before taking the actual test. You may want to do this as a midweek activity (if so, have two or three ropes available, each about 8 1/2 feet long). Or assign the young women to do the test individually. Each young woman should record on a piece of paper the number of times she jumped. If the young women do the test on their own, check with them during the week to make sure they have completed it and to have them report the number of jumps to you.

Caution: Any young woman with physical limitations or serious health problems should not take this test, but she could help the others count and record their scores.

Optional: Prepare a chart of the Strength and Endurance Ratings (see page 166).

Review the counsel about physical health on pages 36–37 of For the Strength of Youth.

Assign young women to present any scriptures you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

A Young Woman Who Appreciates Her Body and Wants to Be Attractive Takes Care of Herself

Picture and scripture

Display the picture of a temple and have a class member read 1 Corinthians 3:16–17. Stress that we have been commanded to take good care of our bodies.

Puzzle and discussion

Display the “Knowledge” section of the puzzle on the tackboard or a large poster.

Where in the scriptures can we find information about how to take care of our bodies? (D&C 89, the Word of Wisdom.)

According to the Word of Wisdom, what things should we not take into our bodies? (Wine or strong drink; tobacco; and hot drinks, specifically coffee and tea.)

Scripture discussion

In addition to living the Word of Wisdom, a young woman can do many other things to take care of herself. Ask a class member to read Doctrine and Covenants 88:124.

What does this scripture tell us about taking care of ourselves?

Ask one young woman to read aloud the last half of that scripture beginning with the word retire.

Puzzle and chalkboard discussion

Put the puzzle piece labeled “Rest” on the tackboard or poster.

Why do you think the Lord counsels us to retire early and arise early?

What are the advantages of getting the proper amount of rest? (List responses on the chalkboard: do better in school, be happier, feel better, have more energy, look better.)

How might too much sleep be harmful?

Scripture and puzzle

Ask the young women to turn to Doctrine and Covenants 42:41 to discover discover another aspect of taking care of themselves. Stress that physical as well as moral cleanliness is important. Add the piece labeled “Grooming” to the puzzle.

Object lesson and discussion

Display the grooming aids. Stress that everyone is more attractive with clean teeth, skin, and hair. Point out that a fresh fragrance is attractive, whereas perspiration and body odor may be offensive. Ask the young women to consider their hair, skin, nails, and teeth and decide how they might improve their grooming. Suggest they select one good grooming habit to work on during the coming week.

Puzzle and discussion

Put the puzzle piece labeled “Nutrition” on the tackboard or poster. Give each class member a sheet of paper and a pencil and ask them to list as many different fruits and vegetables as they can in two or three minutes. Then ask the young woman with the longest list to read it. Have the other young women add any different ones they have, and then have everyone add to their lists items they did not think of. Be sure the list includes citrus fruits and green and yellow vegetables.

What kinds of food other than fruits and vegetables do we need each day? (Breads or grains; meat, eggs, poultry, or fish; milk and other dairy products.)

Stress variety. Often a young woman’s diet is insufficient because she eats only a few favorite foods. Refer to the long list of fruits and vegetables they have made and encourage them to try something new.

Ask the young women to turn their papers over and in one to two minutes make a list of foods they feel have little nutritional value.

What does eating these foods do to your health and appearance? (Answers could include fatigue, susceptibility to illness, and weight gain.)

Emphasize that to feel and look their best, young women must limit or give up some of these things. Write on the chalkboard: “Give up something good for something better.”

What is the “something better” we get by giving up nonnutritional food? (Stress that proper eating habits can improve skin, hair, eyes, teeth, and figure.)

Teacher presentation

We have discussed grooming, nutrition, the Word of Wisdom, and getting proper rest; but our girl (refer to the puzzle) still needs something else to complete her physical well-being.

Puzzle and discussion

Place the final piece labeled “Exercise” on the tackboard or poster.

If you prepared a chart with the following information, show it now. Or write the information on the chalkboard.

Strength and Endurance Ratings

10 to 24 consecutive skips—fair

25 to 44 consecutive skips—good

45 to 50 consecutive skips—excellent

Discuss what the young women have discovered about themselves from the strength and endurance test (see page 164, item 5).

Picture and discussion

Display the picture of the young women exercising. Discuss the importance of active participation in sports, dance, jogging, walking, and other physical activities.

Why do we need exercise?

What are some enjoyable ways of getting enough exercise?

Teacher presentation

In addition to plenty of physical activity, formal exercises can often help us firm up our muscles or strengthen a particular part of the body. They also help us use the calories we take in. Suggest that each young woman select one exercise or activity that she feels would benefit her and plan to do that exercise or activity in the coming week.

Stress that physical fitness is linked to overall well-being in everyday life.

Proper Care of Our Bodies Brings Many Rewards

Discussion

What rewards might come from doing all the things we talked about? (Possible responses: better health, better self-image, more energy, more attractive appearance, happier feeling.) Encourage each class member to name at least one thing.

Are these things worth sacrificing for?

Teacher presentation

We have put together a plan for taking the best possible care of our precious physical temples. We must work at this plan constantly until good habits become automatic. (Take away a section of the puzzle.) Our bodies cannot function at their best or look their best unless each part of the plan is followed. (Return the piece to its place.)

Quotation

Elder Delbert L. Stapley said: “There is a close relationship between physical health and spiritual development. . . . When one’s physical health is impaired by disobedience to God’s eternal laws, spiritual development will also suffer” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1967, p. 74; or Improvement Era, Dec. 1967, p. 77).

Lesson Application

Teacher testimony

Testify of the importance of properly caring for our physical bodies and encourage each young woman to do something this week to improve her care of her body.

Lesson 38

Nutrition and the Word of Wisdom

Objective

Each young woman will understand and desire to practice the basic principles of good nutrition contained in the Word of Wisdom.

Preparation

Optional: Gift wrap several nutritious foods, such as any fruit, vegetable, whole-grain product, hard-boiled egg, or cheese. Do the same with some empty-calorie foods, such as candy, soda pop, potato chips, pastries, or cookies. Put all these gifts in a large paper sack so each young woman in the class may choose one.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Optional object lesson

Show the class the paper sack of gift-wrapped items. Allow each young woman to choose a gift from the sack and open it.

Ask class members to explain which gifts are best for them. Then have them consider how we benefit by eating nutritious foods.

Suggest to the young women that they have their agency even in the choice of the foods they eat, and if they will choose the proper foods, they will have better health than they would if they ate foods that are not nutritious.

There Are Spiritual Reasons for Developing Good Physical Health

Story

Summarize the following story of Daniel and King Nebuchadnezzar:

In the days of King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, the people of the Kingdom of Judah were taken captive. Daniel was a young prince who, along with other outstanding young men, was brought to the palace to be taught the learning and language of the Chaldeans. When he was offered food that the Lord had commanded the Jews not to eat, he asked the chief officer of the palace to give him and his companions food that they were allowed to eat. The chief officer thought that granting this request might cause the king to punish him. But Daniel was able to persuade him to allow them to eat their own food for ten days.

After ten days, Daniel and his companions looked healthier than those who ate the food of the Chaldeans. The chief servant gave them their own food for the next three years. At the end of that time, the king found that they were wiser than all his magicians and astrologers. (See Daniel 1.)

Teacher presentation

Explain that no law is just physical or temporal. Every law has a spiritual implication. Our bodies are a gift from God. He knows us, and he knows what we need. He has given us guidelines for the things that will strengthen our bodies, and by self-control and obedience to those guidelines we will reap spiritual benefits and blessings.

Discussion

What do we call the guidelines the Lord has set for taking care of our bodies? (The Word of Wisdom.)

Why is it important for us to follow this law?

Scripture discussion

Have a young woman read aloud 1 Corinthians 3:16–17 and 1 Corinthians 6:19–20. Discuss these two scriptures with the class. Ask them why Paul calls our mortal body a temple. Have them discuss why it is important to protect our mortal bodies and how we can do this.

Discussion

Ask class members to tell you what food groups modern dietary authorities feel we need for a well-balanced diet each day.

Divide the chalkboard in fourths, and place the young women’s answers on the middle left side of the chalkboard under the heading “Well-balanced Diet” (see the sample chalkboard on page 170).

These answers will be used later in the lesson to compare with foods that we are advised to eat in the Word of Wisdom. Be sure answers include what is shown under the heading.

Case studies

Ask the young women what is wrong with the diets of the following young women:

Tina feels that breakfast is unnecessary and fattening. By lunchtime she feels irritable and grouchy, and she cannot keep her mind on her work.

Sue felt that she was overweight and decided to go on a crash diet. She ate only candy bars to give her quick energy. She became very sick after only three days.

Chris decided to eat nothing but wheat cereal and whole wheat bread because she had heard it was very good for the body.

Diane wanted to be one of the group, so although she was a diabetic and was on a diet restricting foods with sugar, she joined her friends every day in eating candy, ice cream, and other sweets.

Discussion

Discuss with the young women how much their good health is worth.

How would you feel if you were ill and forced to stay in bed for a long time?

Why is it impossible to put a price on good health?

If your health were gone, would it really matter how much money you had?

Can you compare good health with any material blessing, such as a large house, an expensive car, an exotic vacation, or a beautiful wardrobe?

How can your physical health affect your spiritual health?

Teacher presentation

Explain that our bodies are gifts from God. They house our heavenly spirits. Each physical body has an effect on the spirit it houses. Our good physical health is so precious that we should care for it and guard it carefully to help us realize our great potential as daughters of God.

The Word of Wisdom Contains Guidelines for Good Physical and Spiritual Health

Scripture discussion

Ask each young woman to turn to section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants and read the introductory statement. Discuss the background and purpose of the section.

Ask a young woman to read Doctrine and Covenants 89:1–2. Have class members discuss why they feel the Lord might be concerned with the Saints’ temporal salvation.

Quotation

To be sure the young women know that the Word of Wisdom is a binding commandment for us today, read the following:

“The reason undoubtedly why the Word of Wisdom was given—as not by ‘commandment or restraint’ was that at that time, at least, if it had been given as a commandment it would have brought every man, addicted to the use of these noxious things, under condemnation; so the Lord was merciful and gave them a chance to overcome, before He brought them under the law. Later on, it was announced from this stand, by President Brigham Young, that the Word of Wisdom was a revelation and a command of the Lord. I desired to mention that fact, because I do not want you to feel that we are under no restraint. We do not want to come under condemnation” (Joseph F. Smith, in Conference Report, Oct. 1913, p. 14).

Scripture discussion

Ask a young woman to read Doctrine and Covenants 89:3. Discuss the phrase “adapted to the capacity of the weak and the weakest of all saints.” Who does this include?

Have another young woman read Doctrine and Covenants 89:4.

Tell the young women that the Lord, in his concern for us, warned us that men would seek to profit from our weaknesses. Ask them to suggest what “evils and designs . . . exist in the hearts of conspiring men.” Have them consider how advertising in magazines, television, and other media portrays smoking and drinking.

Scripture and chalkboard discussion

Tell the young women that the next five verses might be called the warnings in the Word of Wisdom. Ask class members to listen for things that are not good for the body as these verses are read.

Write Not for the Body on the top of the left section of the chalkboard.

Have a young woman read Doctrine and Covenants 89:5–9.

With the help of the young women, list the things we should not take into our bodies. (See the sample chalkboard on page 170.)

When discussing “hot drinks,” read the following words of the Prophet Joseph Smith given in July 1833, five months after the revelation was received. This will help class members realize that tea and coffee are the hot drinks referred to in the Word of Wisdom.

“‘I understand that some of the people are excusing themselves in using tea and coffee, because the Lord only said “hot drinks” in the revelation of the Word of Wisdom. . . .

“‘[Tea and coffee] are what the Lord meant when He said “hot drinks”’” (Joseph Smith, as quoted by Joel H. Johnson, A Voice from the Mountains [Salt Lake City: Juvenile Instructor Office, 1881], p. 12).

Ask the young women to consider what science and medicine have proven in recent years about tobacco, alcohol, tea, and coffee. Ask them to mention as many as possible of the specific ways these things have been proven injurious to our health. Answers should include a higher rate of cancer; diabetes; heart, lung, and liver disease; and injury to unborn babies.

Scripture and chalkboard discussion

Ask the young women to listen carefully to the next eight verses for things that are good for us.

Write To Be Used at the top of the chalkboard in the third section.

Ask a young woman to read Doctrine and Covenants 89:10–17.

With the help of the young women, list under the heading the good foods the Lord advises us to eat. Reread the scriptures if necessary. (See the sample chalkboard on page 170.)

Refer the young women to the well-balanced diet listed previously on the chalkboard, and compare it with the foods to be used in the Word of Wisdom. Show that both lists are the same.

Point out how the foods listed in the Word of Wisdom meet today’s standards for basic good nutrition. (They are the same.)

Discuss the implications of the words used in verse 11: “in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.”

Scripture and chalkboard discussion

Write at the top of the chalkboard in the far right section Promises If Obedient. Ask a young woman to read Doctrine and Covenants 89:18–21. With the young women’s help, list the promised rewards for obedience to the Word of Wisdom. Reread the scriptures if necessary. (See the sample chalkboard on page 170.)

What spiritual blessings are promised if we live this law?

What does the Lord mean by “hidden treasures” of knowledge?

How would you be better able to serve the Lord by living this law?

How might living this law today help you draw closer to your Father in Heaven?

Tell the young women that our Father in Heaven is a kind and patient father. He loves us dearly, and yet when we do not live his commandments, the blessings that might have been ours are lost.

Conclusion

Scripture

Have a young woman read Doctrine and Covenants 29:34–35.

Teacher presentation

Although many of God’s commandments affect our temporal lives, they are also given to enhance our spiritual well-being. Through obedience to his commandments, we gain temporal as well as spiritual blessings.

Lesson Application

Ask the young women to consider the eternal nature of the spirit dwelling within their bodies. Encourage them to make certain that their spirits have comfortable, healthy homes in which to live so they might thrive and progress to the very limit of their capacity and realize the greatest promise of all—celestial life.

Chalkboard sample

Not For the Body
Well-Balanced Diet
To Be Used
Promises If Obedient

Tobacco

Strong drinks (alcohol)

Hot drinks (coffee and tea)

Protein foods such as meat, fish, poultry, eggs

Fruits and vegetables

Milk and dairy products

Grain products such as bread and cereal

Herbs (plants and vegetables)

Fruits

Meats and poultry (to be used sparingly)

All grains, especially wheat

Health

Wisdom

Treasures of knowledge—hidden treasures

Strength

Protection from the destroying angel

Lesson 39

Drug Abuse

Objective

Each young woman will recognize the effects of drug abuse on the body and the spirit.

Preparation

Bring a pencil for each young woman.

Prepare a copy of the checklist in the introduction for each young woman.

Optional: Prepare a poster containing the definition of drug abuse as given in the introduction.

Optional: Prepare a poster of these words from 1 Corinthians 3:17: “For the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”

Assign class members to discuss why the reasons some people give for abusing drugs are not valid. These young women could use their own ideas, or you could give them copies of the “Class presentations” material in the second section of the lesson.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Checklist activity

Give each of the young women a pencil and a copy of the checklist below. Ask them to place check marks next to those substances that are drugs or that contain drugs.

Checklist

marijuana

tobacco

caffeine

LSD

cocaine

crack

alcohol

heroin

barbiturates

amphetamines

diet pills

Discussion

After a minute or two, discuss the items on the checklist, commenting also on others you may choose. Tell the young women that all of these substances, in addition to many not listed, are drugs or contain drugs. Indicate that these drugs differ from each other in several ways. Some are depressants (they depress body functions), and some are stimulants (they stimulate body functions). Some are more harmful than others, but they all can be habit forming or create dependency.

Quotation and discussion

Ask the young women to define drug abuse. Discuss all of their ideas. Indicate that most drugs are useful medications for the treatment of diseases. But drug abuse is “the excessive nonmedical use of drugs for the changes they produce in emotion, thought, or behavior” (Ira W. Hillyard, “Drug Abuse: It Starts in the Medicine Cabinet,” Ensign, Apr. 1977, p. 42). If you wrote this definition on a poster, display it now. Discuss the definition. Emphasize that improper use of nonprescription and prescription medicines is also drug abuse. Ask the young women to keep the definition in mind as the lesson proceeds.

Drug Abuse Cannot Be Justified

Teacher presentation

Point out that even though most people understand the risks of drug abuse, the problem is widespread. Both young and old feel increasing pressure to do what their friends are doing and experiment with drugs. Because of this serious and increasing problem, we need to understand why it occurs and seek ways to combat it.

Chalkboard discussion

Elder Marvin J. Ashton asked, “What causes a strong, lovely, vibrant young person to allow a chemical to control his or her behavior?” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1971, p. 13; or Ensign, June 1971, p. 30). Ask class members to suggest reasons why some young people misuse drugs. List responses on the chalkboard and discuss them, urging class members to explain their ideas. At this point, do not discuss why these reasons for misusing drugs are invalid. That discussion will come later in the lesson. Some of the reasons people misuse drugs might include peer pressure, escape, immaturity, availability, and advertising appeal. These ideas are enlarged in the statements that follow. Ask class members to read them, adding to them if you wish.

Peer pressure. Being accepted by others can seem important. Those who are pressured by friends to experiment with drugs may do so to gain or maintain acceptance or popularity.

Escape. Some people may feel that their problems and stresses are intolerable. They may seek to escape from them through drugs that either depress awareness or produce a stimulation that creates a temporary feeling of well-being.

Immaturity. Feelings of curiosity, boredom, or rebellion account for the use of drugs by some people. They may be seeking involvement, action, and excitement. Young people may also sometimes think they appear older when they do things that they consider “adult.”

Availability. Because of illegal drug traffic and the rapid development of new drugs, harmful substances are increasingly available. These and other conditions make drugs easier to obtain. This easier access to drugs may also make their use seem more acceptable to some people.

Advertising appeal. Advertisements of handsome, confident, prosperous, healthy-looking people can make undesirable products appealing. Enticing advertising techniques are sometimes convincing and can make these products seem acceptable.

Class presentations

After discussing the reasons people give for misusing drugs, ask the assigned class members to discuss why those reasons are not valid and do not justify drug abuse. If these class members do not use the following information, add it as necessary.

Peer pressure. We need to develop personal convictions about matters of right and wrong early in our lives. While there are peers who would urge us to do wrong, there are also peers who are doing right and whose examples we may follow. Ideally, we should be among those who set their own righteous course and encourage others to follow, rather than be among those who weakly give in to pressures to do wrong. We can help drug abusers most by “setting an example of strong, healthy, Christian living.” We can demonstrate in our daily lives “the rewards of straight living, such as good health, happiness, peace, and accomplishment” (Victor L. Brown Jr., “Q and A,” New Era, May 1971, p. 33).

Escape. The stresses and demands of life’s experiences are real. Everyone needs release or change at times, but in acceptable ways. This release can come through talking out problems with family, friends, Church leaders and teachers, or professional counselors. Change can come in the form of healthy diversions—sports and cultural activities, creative hobbies, vacations, rest, and serving others. These kinds of diversions not only become a release from pressures, but also contribute to our sense of worth. We should avoid using and abusing alcohol and drugs as ways of escaping our responsibility to act for ourselves.

Immaturity. The process of growing up and learning is something we all experience. This natural process is likely to result in error along the way. However, growing up and learning can be attended by good judgment and self-control in all of its stages. It is unfortunate that some “impulsive young [people] . . . are seeking thrills to spice those impatient years of growing to maturity. Having heard of drug ‘kicks’ but having little or no understanding of the dangers involved, some of these young people become involved—either deliberately or sometimes even accidentally—with destructive drugs” (Hillyard, “Drug Abuse,” p. 41).

Availability. The availability of something does not mean that it is good or that we need to partake of it. We must develop personal strength to protect ourselves from much in society that is available but not necessarily desirable. “Certainly the availability of new and more potent and exotic drugs in great quantity has been a factor [in their increased use]. . . . These drugs have leaked much too quickly into the mainstream of everyday usage, and their use as a crutch to help people through even the minor trials of everyday life has become all too common” (Hillyard, “Drug Abuse,” p. 42).

Advertising appeal. While advertising provides information, it frequently distorts, manipulates, or only partially informs. Some advertising promises that drugs can cure any ill. We need to know enough that we can use good judgment in evaluating advertisements. If we are not alert, we can be “conditioned to think of drugs as a routine, instant cure for whatever might ail us or make us unhappy” (Hillyard, “Drug Abuse,” p. 42).

Teacher presentation

Explain that instead of being misled by reasons that seem to justify misusing drugs, we need to combine knowledge with wisdom to fortify ourselves against weakness and deception.

Quotation

“Drugs and alcohol seem to be particularly enticing in our generation, although they have been used by mankind in different forms and for different reasons since the beginning of time. Always they have promised liberation. Always they have lied” (E. Brent Frazier, “Drugs: Why Do Kids Start? How Can You Help?” Ensign, Aug. 1975, p. 67).

We Should Understand the Consequences of Drug Abuse

Teacher presentation

Explain that legitimate drugs, administered by or obtained through a physician, are often essential to good health and well-being. However, when used contrary to or without a physician’s direction, they can be harmful. Other drugs, including nonprescription drugs, taken for the wrong reasons, are destructive to both the body and the spirit.

Discussion

What are some of the physical and spiritual consequences of drug abuse?

Emphasize that those who misuse drugs usually do so knowingly, rationalizing that they have a right to consume what they choose, that they are justified for reasons others may not understand, that the substances are not harmful, and that the consequences are not serious or do not matter. These and other invalid arguments can result in the unfortunate decision to misuse drugs. Such a decision—even to experiment—is ruinous not only to the individual but also to others around him or her. The consumption of harmful drugs is not a private or personal matter; it inevitably affects deeply the lives of others who are often innocent, and it results in needless grief. Drug abuse is an alarming and reckless invitation to deeper difficulties, much heartache, and possibly even disaster.

The following case studies are true accounts of young people who have been involved with drug abuse. Ask class members to read them aloud. Then discuss some of the details of each case to help the young women understand the destructive consequences of the misuse of drugs.

Case study

Jim was an active Latter-day Saint priest. He was also on the high school football team. Some members of the team would gather on weekends to drink beer and smoke marijuana, and Jim decided to join them. He thought that he would not drink or smoke; he would just enjoy the companionship of his friends. He knew, however, that his parents would disapprove if they knew where he was going. Eventually he gave in to peer pressure and began drinking beer and smoking marijuana with them. Every time he did, he came home bearing the burden of having done something seriously wrong. Because his conscience bothered him, he began to find excuses not to participate in Church activities and began to feel alienated from his family.

Discussion

What were the immediate consequences of Jim’s drug use?

What might be the long-lasting consequences?

How would Jim’s involvement with drugs affect him both physically and spiritually?

Case study

“Barbara had become addicted to heroin at the age of twelve, after two years of excessive marijuana use. The heroin addiction had made her, at that tender age, a prostitute and thief. In addition to heroin, she also used excessive amounts of alcohol and barbiturates. Just two months after her eighteenth birthday, she had taken a large dose of LSD, and this drug, in concert with all the others, literally destroyed her mind” (Hillyard, “Drug Abuse,” p. 41).

Discussion

How does this story make you feel?

Discuss Barbara’s increased involvement with several kinds of drugs.

What effect would Barbara’s experience have on you if she were your sister or a close friend? What effect would it have on the family?

Through the years of Barbara’s struggle and decline, how was she affected physically and spiritually?

Case study

While they were walking home from school, Janet and her friends decided they would all like to lose some weight. They stopped at a store, and each purchased a package of diet pills that had been advertised as an easy way to lose weight. Within a short time, most of the young women had either lost the desired weight or stopped taking the pills. However, Janet had noticed that when she took the pills she seemed to have more energy, so she continued to take them, even though she had lost the weight she desired. It seemed that the pills enabled her to accomplish more each day. She could see no harm in this as the pills were nonprescription and legal. She never realized that she had become dependent on them until she decided to stop using them.

Discussion

Why was this not a good way to lose weight? What are the dangers in depending on pills to control appetites?

What consequences—physical, emotional, and spiritual—could result from Janet’s drug abuse?

What consequences might Janet’s drug abuse have on her future?

Discuss the danger of becoming innocently addicted or dependent upon seemingly harmless nonprescription drugs.

Case study

“About this time a year ago . . . I was somewhere . . . stoned out of my mind on something or other. I was living away from home in the fabricated world of a drug freak, filled with illusions. What was around me was not what I was looking for. . . .

“As I kept telling myself, ‘You’re happy,’ I wondered why I had to work so hard to convince myself. I had become dependent on something outside of myself. As I drew more into the scene, I grew away from my friends.

“Where am I? What am I? Who am I? I was haunted day and night by these questions, and day by day I was led further from the answers.

“One night as I walked the streets under the influence of only-my-pusher-knew-what, I made a discovery. In the midst of this freedom the only thing I was acquiring was death. And I stood alone, suffocating in my solitude” (Charleen Hurson, “Start the World; I Want to Get On,” New Era, Apr. 1972, p. 12).

Discussion

What are some of the physical and spiritual consequences of this kind of experience?

How might this young woman overcome her problems and change her life?

Quotation

Ask a member of the class to read the following statement:

“Be smart. Do not be so shortsighted as to indulge in the use of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. It simply is not smart to do so. It is stupid, if you will pardon that harsh word, to use cocaine, marijuana, or any of the other drugs that rob you of control of your mind. After every drug-induced ‘high,’ there is a reactionary ‘low.’ Why spend money on that which can only harm you? Why become enslaved to a habit that can only hinder and short-circuit your future?” (Gordon B. Hinckley, in Conference Report, Oct. 1981, p. 57; or Ensign, Nov. 1981, pp. 40–41).

Scripture and optional poster

Read and discuss 1 Corinthians 3:17, and have the young women mark it in their scriptures (display the poster of this scripture if you made one). Point out that the warnings and promises of the Word of Wisdom (D&C 89) apply to the use and abuse of drugs. Careless use of substances that are harmful to the body is counter to the Lord’s counsel and commandments.

Conclusion

Teacher presentation and quotation

Emphasize that the only wise decision regarding any harmful drugs is simply never to consume any of them, even in small amounts. Read the following statement:

“So many people say, ‘One cigarette, one cup of tea or coffee, one puff of marijuana won’t hurt you, and one drink of alcohol surely cannot hurt anybody.’

“I want to emphasize that if you never take the first you will never take the second. You will never become an alcoholic or an addict” (N. Eldon Tanner, in Conference Report, Apr. 1975, p. 114; or Ensign, May 1975, p. 77).

Lesson Application

Ask the young women to make a personal commitment never to misuse drugs or to socialize with others who do. Suggest that they also try to help others understand the danger and heartache that drug abuse can bring into their own lives and the lives of others.

Lesson 40

Health Care in the Home

Objective

Each young woman will recognize the value and benefit of good health care in the home.

Preparation

Make a copy of the “True or False Test” for each young woman (see page 180).

If you wish, assign young women to present stories, scriptures, and quotations.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Discussion

Ask the young women to relate personal experiences of taking care of someone who was ill in their home. What did they learn from this experience? What did they wish they had known when they were helping care for that person?

We Have Many Opportunities to Provide Health Care in Our Homes

Teacher presentation

Maintaining good health and preventing accidents are two important considerations in providing health care in the home. However, even when these precautions are carefully observed, accidents or illnesses usually strike every family at some time. It is therefore wise to have some knowledge of first aid and home care. The following story points out various skills that can be learned by anyone to provide good health care to an elderly patient in the home.

Story

Ann was twelve when her Grandmother Olsen fell in her backyard and broke her right hip. Doctors put a pin in the fractured bone to strengthen it and help it mend.

She was allowed to leave the hospital after five days, but the doctors suggested she live in a nursing home or other place where she could get adequate care while her bone mended. Ann’s mother asked the family if they would be willing to share the responsibility of caring for their grandmother if she came to live with them. They would have extra work, such as washing bedding and nightgowns, preparing food, rubbing her back and legs with lotion, helping with her exercises, pushing her wheelchair, and keeping her cheerful with friendly conversation.

Ann, Ben (her six-year-old brother), and Frances and Margaret (her older twin sisters) agreed to help with nursing care. At first Grandmother was confined to her bed. The older girls changed her sheets. One turned Grandmother from one side to the other while the other changed half the bed at a time. Ann and the twins prepared Grandmother’s mealtime tray. Ben brought her a damp washcloth to wipe her hands and face. On Sundays, Ann would pick a rose from the garden and put it in a vase on Grandmother’s dinner tray. This always brought a smile to Grandmother’s face.

Ben liked to rub lotion on Grandmother’s hands and arms. In return, she told him stories about Grandfather Olsen, who had died the year before Ben was born. One evening, when Grandmother Olsen was discouraged about her slow recovery, Ann’s father gave her a blessing.

When Ann’s sisters learned that their loud music made Grandmother nervous, they turned it down. Mother rented a wheelchair and walker from a medical supply store. Grandmother regained her strength by sitting for a few hours each day in the wheelchair. Ben and Ann took turns helping her do the exercises the doctor had given her. The children enjoyed pushing her around the house and around the neighborhood on sunny days. When Grandmother was ready to stand and learn to use her legs again, Ann’s father helped her stand in the lightweight metal walker. She pushed it for support as her legs became stronger. Finally she put away the walker and used only a cane for support.

When Grandmother no longer needed even the cane to walk, everyone was delighted. However, the family felt a little sad, for they knew she was ready to go home. Grandmother Olsen was independent, and although she was grateful for the family’s help, she was also happy to go back to her home and the many friends in her own neighborhood.

Chalkboard discussion

List on the chalkboard some of the valuable lessons Ann’s family learned by taking care of Grandmother.

(The following might be listed: cooperation, health skills and procedures, the value of priesthood blessings, compassionate service, self-discipline, unselfishness, empathy, how to adjust to new circumstances in their home.)

How could this experience help prepare them to take care of their own future families?

Discussion

What other circumstances requiring health-care skills can occur in the home? (Birth of a baby, an accident, an extended or serious illness, recuperation from surgery, care of a family member who has a disability, a chronic illness.)

We Can Learn Basic Health Care Skills

Scripture

Ask class members to read and mark the last phrase in Doctrine and Covenants 38:30: “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.”

Teacher presentation

Being prepared is more than just having supplies for emergencies and illness. It includes having skills and important information that will help us function properly. Sometimes doing the wrong thing in an emergency is more dangerous than not doing anything. In other situations, only immediate proper action can save lives. Learning some of these skills will give us confidence and the ability to perform wisely if the need arises.

Discussion

How can our preparation to handle an injury or health-care situation affect our own behavior and the response of the injured or ill person?

Include the following ideas in your discussion: If you are overly anxious, the injured or ill person will sense this concern and also become anxious. You should appear calm. If you have fears, say a prayer in your heart. Heavenly Father will help you maintain a calm and reassuring manner and will inspire you to do the correct things. It is important to get help from those who know what to do, especially in an emergency. This will also help you maintain a calm manner.

Teacher presentation

The proper care of an infant or toddler is an important skill. Because most young women will baby-sit children in their own and other families, they should have certain information easily available.

Discussion

What information do you need when caring for children? (The address of the home where baby-sitting, the phone number or address of where the parents will be, the family physician’s name and phone number, the emergency number for paramedics and the fire department, the phone number of the poison control center, the name and phone number of a responsible relative or friend if the parents cannot be reached.)

Even though you may never use any of this information, having it will give you confidence that will help you act wisely in an emergency.

Common sense is the basis of most infant care. For instance, consider the following question:

What are some cautions in caring for an infant? A toddler?

Discuss the young women’s responses and add other cautions such as: never leave a baby alone on a couch or bed or in a bathtub; never leave a child unattended at a playground; hold and burp a baby during feeding.

Ask the young women what other procedures baby-sitters should know.

True or False Test

Give each young woman a copy of the following true or false test (see also page 180) to determine her knowledge of first aid and other emergency health-care techniques. The young women will have varying amounts of knowledge.

True or False Test

The best way to stop bleeding is to apply pressure with a cloth pad or the palm of the hand directly to the wound.

A respiratory emergency occurs when breathing stops and the choking victim cannot speak. Use the Heimlich maneuver.

Do not attempt procedures you know nothing about because you may cause further injury. Get expert help as quickly as possible.

Do not move an injured person until medical aid arrives unless the victim is in further danger where he or she is.

If the victim has swallowed harmful chemicals or poisons, call the poison control center or nearest hospital for directions before doing anything.

Never give an unconscious patient food or water.

During mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, the patient’s head should be tilted back so the chin is pointing upward. The nose should be gently squeezed shut to prevent air from leaking through the nostrils.

To prevent an injured person from going into shock, the person should be kept lying down and covered with a blanket if he or she is cool.

A first-aider’s calm, reassuring attitude comforts the victim and calms fears that might increase his or her chance of shock.

A cold compress applied to a bruise lessens the chance of swelling and bleeding under the tissues.

A tourniquet is a dangerous way to stop bleeding and is no longer an acceptable first-aid technique unless severe bleeding cannot be stopped any other way.

A minor abrasion caused by rubbing or scraping the skin should be washed with soap and water to prevent infection.

If a person accidentally gets chemicals in the eye, quickly wash the eye with large amounts of water. Soak a clean washcloth in cool, running water and squeeze the water into the corner of the eye with the patient’s head tipped so the water will run out of the outer edge of the eye. Repeat procedure to get out all irritants.

Everyone should learn to protect himself or herself from excessive heat or cold.

Never move a fracture victim unless absolutely necessary.

A person who receives a severe blow to the head should be given medical attention, even if he or she is conscious, and should be carefully watched for twenty-four to forty-eight hours after.

Never leave a child unattended in a closed car, especially in hot weather.

The best way to put out a fire on someone’s clothing is to roll the victim up in a carpet or blanket or roll him or her on the ground.

You should memorize or keep handy the emergency phone number in your area.

Keep all chemicals and poisons out of children’s reach.

(Adapted from the Relief Society Courses of Study, 1976–77, pp. 39–66.)

Discussion

Point out that all the answers on the test are true. Discuss any questions the young women are unsure of. Have class members take their tests home for future reference and study.

Conclusion

Teacher presentation

It is important to know first-aid practices and other home health-care skills. We should learn about and keep current with new procedures. Knowing simple and correct procedures makes caring for others easier and may save lives.

Lesson Application

Teacher presentation

Ask class members which of the following areas they would like more instruction in. With the approval of your priesthood leader, plan such demonstrations for a weekday activity. Do not demonstrate these on a Sunday.

A mother who is trained or experienced in child care, or a nurse, could be invited to demonstrate care of an infant, such as bathing and feeding.

A qualified person such as a Scoutmaster, Red Cross volunteer, doctor, or nurse could be invited to demonstrate how to do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, how to use the Heimlich maneuver for someone who is choking, how to apply pressure to stop bleeding, and how to treat a person who is in shock.

Have a qualified person demonstrate home nursing skills, such as changing sheets while a patient is in bed, taking a pulse, and taking a temperature.

As a class, role-play how to telephone for emergency help to the fire department or poison control center, giving proper identification, the address, and the nature of the emergency.

Encourage the young women to enroll in a Red Cross course in first aid or home nursing or other similar available courses.

Developing Socially and Emotionally

Lesson 41

The Ability to Succeed

Objective

Each young woman will know that she has the ability to succeed.

Preparation

Bring paper and a pencil for each young woman.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Quotation

Read the following statement:

“One of the greatest weaknesses in most of us is our lack of faith in ourselves. One of our common failings is to depreciate our tremendous worth” (L. Tom Perry, “Be the Best of Whatever You Are,” in Speeches of the Year, 1974 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1975], p. 77).

Activity

Give each young woman a piece of paper and a pencil. Have each one write a few things she does not like about herself. This list is just for her; she will not need to share it with anyone else. Then have the young women cross off all the physical attributes they cannot change (for example, height, color of eyes, and size of feet). Then have them cross off any material items on their lists that they cannot attain immediately with their present income. Have the young women look at their lists again. They will probably see that there are only a few items left. These will likely include spiritual attributes, character and personality traits, and physical traits.

Teacher presentation

Point out that many of the things we do not like about ourselves cannot be changed. When we accept these things as uniquely our characteristics, we can then direct our time, energy, and attention to areas where we can make improvements. This lesson will focus on those areas where we can make improvements and thus increase our ability to succeed.

We Should Not Underrate Ourselves

Teacher presentation

Each day we are faced with our own and others’ traits and attributes. Often we judge ourselves against those we see. Unfortunately, we usually think mostly of others’ strengths and our weaknesses. We wish we were as tall, as thin, as well dressed, as pretty, as talented, as smart, or as spiritual as someone else—and the list goes on in our minds. Each time we see ourselves in such a limiting, unrealistic way, we damage our self-image and fail to benefit from our own strengths and talents. We can especially damage how we see ourselves if our peer group has set the standards and we feel we are not meeting them.

Quotation

Read the following quotation:

“A shallow self-image is not [improved] by always letting others establish our standards and by habitually succumbing to peer pressure. Young people too often depend upon someone else’s image rather than their own” (James E. Faust, in Conference Report, Apr. 1981, p. 8; or Ensign, May 1981, p. 9).

Discussion

Ask the young women to think about the lists they have made of things they do not like about themselves.

Why do we sometimes exaggerate our own weaknesses?

How can underrating ourselves be damaging? (It can choke off our talents, our Church activity, and our leadership opportunities.)

Quotation and discussion

Read the following quotation from Elder Marvin J. Ashton:

“A wise teacher and stake Relief Society president . . . flashed a large picture on a screen. It showed a bright-eyed boy with unkempt hair and folded arms, deep in thought. The caption read, ‘I know I’m somebody ‘cause God don’t make no junk.’ Please let me repeat, ‘I know I’m somebody ‘cause God don’t make no junk.’ . . .

“Every human being in every walk of life needs help in building his self-respect and self-reliance. . . . A person’s image of himself is nothing more or less than what he has learned through his experiences and his interactions with others. It is rewarding to note that someone has helped a typical boy develop his personal identity. Someone, perhaps a mother, a Primary teacher, a neighbor, or even a song like ‘I Am a Child of God,’ has made this little boy realize he is someone. He knew he wasn’t junk. He knew he wasn’t impossible. He knew he was a human being loved by his Heavenly Father” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1981, p. 125; or Ensign, Nov. 1981, p. 89).

What do we base our image of ourselves on?

Elder Ashton points out that a person’s self-image is based on his or her own experiences, as well as interaction with others. Self-image can be affected both by what we perceive ourselves to be and by what others say to us.

As you read the following statement, have the young women listen for a new, more powerful way of evaluating their image of themselves.

Quotation and chalkboard discussion

“The values of faith in God and virtuous behavior . . . are often rejected by many as worthless. This is a route destined to failure because it does not take into account the powerful importance of the subjective things we can know but not measure. For instance, I love my wife and family, and I feel their love for me. You cannot measure how deep our feelings of love are for each other, but that love is very real to us. Pain is also difficult to measure, but it is real. The same is true of faith in God. We can know of His existence without being able to quantitatively measure it. Paul states, ‘The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God’” [Romans 8:16] (James E. Faust, in Conference Report, Apr. 1981, p. 9; or Ensign, May 1981, pp. 9–10).

Ask the young women to think of what Elder Faust has said about things that are difficult to measure about ourselves. List these on the chalkboard.

What are some influences that can affect how we feel about ourselves? These might include:

An understanding of our divine nature as children of God.

How our parents speak to us.

How our trusted friends react to us.

How teachers perceive our schoolwork.

The successes and failures we experience.

Quotation and discussion

Eleanor Roosevelt is remembered for her insight when she said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” (“Points to Ponder,” Reader’s Digest, Feb. 1963, p. 261).

Why do we sometimes let others make us feel inferior? (Because we are often ready to believe the worst about ourselves and fail to remember our strengths and potential; because we worry too much about other people’s opinions.)

How can you keep from underrating yourself?

If the young women have difficulty answering this question, ask them to think about it for a while. The rest of the lesson contains suggestions that will help them answer it.

Our Attitude about Ourselves Helps Us Succeed

Teacher presentation

Point out that we do not all have the same talents, abilities, or potential, but each of us has something that we can do well. We need to find our own unique qualities and build on them. We need to have sufficient confidence in ourselves that we can improve. We can begin by thinking that we can succeed.

Quotation and discussion

“Thoughts have a great deal to do with how we live, whether we’re enthusiastic or depressed, whether we enjoy success or experience a degree of failure, whether we enjoy spirituality or suffer from a lack of it, and in many respects, I believe, whether we are obedient or disobedient to the laws of God. Some modern behaviorists have indicated that the human thought process is very much like the operation of a computer where the conscious and subconscious mind is concerned. The input which we take into that process has much to do with the output in terms of attitude, mood, and behavior” (Dean L. Larsen, “Thoughts about Thoughts,” Speeches of the Year, 1976 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1977], p. 116).

How would your life be different if you consciously chose positive thoughts about yourself over a period of time?

How do we put positive thoughts into our conscious mind?

Explore possible techniques—for example, talking positively to yourself, encouraging yourself with positive suggestions such as “You can do it!”

Case studies and discussion

The following case studies show how our thoughts can influence our ability to succeed.

Case Study 1

Cindy’s mother was hurrying to get dinner ready by 6:00 because she had a meeting at 7:30. Cindy was thinking about an assignment for school the next day as she put the plates and silverware at each place. Mother called from the kitchen, “Hurry, Cindy; you are so slow.” Cindy had been told she was slow quite a few times lately, and she was beginning to believe it. “I guess I am slow,” she thought.

How could Cindy change her negative response into a more positive one?

Case Study 2

Sue began taking violin lessons from a neighbor. She felt very awkward holding the bow and violin and told her teacher she didn’t think she would do very well. The teacher assured her that with practice she would begin to feel more at ease. But Sue felt that she would never be able to learn, so soon she stopped practicing completely.

How will Sue’s teacher react when Sue comes for her next lesson?

Will this reaction confirm Sue’s assumption that she could not learn to play?

What is Sue’s real problem—a lack of musical ability, or a negative attitude about herself?

In what way did Sue herself determine the outcome of her violin lessons?

Case Study 3

Becky worked late into the night to complete a speech she was preparing for school. When she read it to her mother the next morning before going to school, she said, “I think I have a pretty good speech, don’t you?” Her mother replied that indeed it was a good speech because she had spent time in preparing it.

How will Becky’s own attitude, supported by her mother’s approval, affect her presentation at school?

What might have happened if she had not spent the time to prepare the speech? How would she have felt about herself?

Teacher presentation

Explain that many factors can affect our self-image. But the most important one is our own attitude. We are responsible. Either we can choose negative thoughts, which defeat us, or we can choose positive ones that will help us succeed. We know that we are literally the spirit children of heavenly parents and that our capacity to grow in many areas is limitless. If we choose to, we can develop our talents and knowledge, increase our concern and love for others, and improve our personal appearance.

Quotation

We were each born to succeed and should think positively, using a divine measure by which to gauge ourselves as the following quotation states:

“The dignity of self is greatly enhanced by looking upward in the search for holiness. Like the giant trees, we should reach up for the light. . . . I have seen human dignity and self-worth expressed eloquently in the lives of the humblest of the humble, in the lives of the poor as well as in the lives of the formally educated and the affluent” (James E. Faust, in Conference Report, Apr. 1981, p. 9; or Ensign, May 1981, p. 10).

Conclusion

Teacher presentation

Explain that there are times when we all feel somewhat less adequate than other people. We need to compare ourselves with our own best selves and seek for improvements that are within our own capabilities. One of the greatest challenges is to overcome the feeling that we are not important. Our life has a purpose. We were born to succeed and to become like God.

Lesson Application

Practice accepting compliments by simply saying “Thank you.” Do not make negative remarks such as, “Oh, this old dress,” or “I can’t sing,” or “My hair really doesn’t look that good.” It is not conceit to accept compliments.

Look at the list you made at the beginning of the lesson. Select one item you can change and begin to improve that personal attribute.

Lesson 42

Courage to Try

Objective

Each young woman will have the courage to accept opportunities to improve her life.

Preparation

Picture 19, Esther, located at the back of the manual.

Prepare a poster with Joshua 1:9 written on it, or write it on the chalkboard.

Prepare slips of paper with topics for discussion written on them (see page 187).

Prepare to tell a personal incident in which you needed courage to try something new.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Note to the teacher

This lesson focuses on courage to try new and uplifting things, as well as courage to continue trying in difficult situations. Be sure the young women do not confuse this courage with daring to do that which is foolhardy and unrighteous.

Suggested Lesson Development

It Takes Courage to Try New and Uplifting Things

Discussion

Ask the young women to think of a time when they tried something new and worthwhile, such as giving a talk, trying out for an activity or club, trying a new sport, or learning a new skill. Ask them to share their feelings about that experience. Then explain that it takes courage to try something new and uplifting.

Most people have feelings of fear when they face a new experience.

It is normal to feel worried and apprehensive about trying something new.

We need not let our fears stop us from trying things that would strengthen and improve our lives.

What are some of the fears that might keep us from trying new things?

As the young women share their ideas, bring out the point that most people fear being different or being ridiculed if they fail at something new. These fears often keep people from attempting a new skill or activity.

Teacher presentation

Talk about the meaning of the word courage. Help the young women understand that courage gives us the strength to try. If we let our fears prevent us from trying new and uplifting things, we may stop our progress and keep ourselves from experiences that will strengthen and broaden our lives. Courage, when used with faith for righteous purposes, is one of the strongest tools we have to help us improve our lives.

Discussion

What are some worthwhile things you might need courage to do? (Following are some suggestions: Giving a talk, initiating a conversation with someone new, praying before a group, trying out for an activity at school, introducing the gospel to a friend, learning a new sport, admitting to being wrong and sorry, and applying for a job.)

Teacher presentation

Point out that each of us has, at some time, felt these fears and apprehensions. However, we become stronger and better prepared for greater challenges when we do not let fear control our desires to improve our lives. We have a wonderful source of support to help us overcome fear and to give us the strength to try new, uplifting things.

Scripture

Display the poster of Joshua 1:9, or draw attention to this scripture on the chalkboard. Have the young women read and memorize it. Emphasize that the Lord will support us and give us strength when we seek his help and show courage in doing good things.

Activity

Have each young woman choose one of the slips of paper you have prepared that identify the following topics for discussion. Have her read it to the class and then tell how each suggestion can help someone gain courage to try. You may wish to add to her thoughts by bringing out additional materials on that topic as you feel the need.

Be Prepared. (Make decisions about standards and values before a crisis comes. This will help you think more clearly and give you the courage to act correctly. Be prepared to stick to your decision despite pressure and emotions.)

Be Teachable. (Be willing to listen and learn. Look at and analyze the situation as objectively as you can before getting involved. Beware of stubbornness and false pride. Listen to the Spirit for guidance.)

Have a Positive Attitude. (Know and feel your worth as a child of God. Remember that you were sent here to succeed. You have talents and abilities that will grow stronger as you use them.)

Pray. (Prayer is a source of strength that can give you courage to try and to overcome fear. The Holy Ghost will help guide and strengthen you.)

Have Confidence. (Realize that you have many resources to help you when you try new things. You have a mind to reason with and family, Church leaders, teachers, friends, and the scriptures to rely on.)

Do Your Best. (Your best is all that is required in trying anything new. Do not let fear of failure stop you, for trying makes you better even if the results are not as perfect as you would wish.)

We Gain Personal Strength As We Courageously Face New Opportunities

Scripture story and discussion

Point out that the scriptures tell of many persons who courageously faced new and challenging opportunities. Because of their courage, their lives were strengthened and blessed. Esther was a beautiful young Hebrew girl who was married to a king of Persia. The king’s chief minister hated the Jews and plotted to have Esther’s people killed. This brought great sorrow to Esther and her people. Knowing that something must be done to save them, Mordecai, Esther’s cousin, turned to her for help. He asked her to speak to the king and try to persuade him to change this terrible plan. In that time, it was the custom that a person could be put to death for going to the king without being invited. Esther knew this. If she went to him and he lowered his scepter toward her, she would be able to speak with him; but if he held the scepter upright, it meant her death. Esther had to decide if she would risk her life in order to try to save her people.

Read together Esther 2:5–17; 3–4, or summarize these passages.

How do you think Esther felt when she faced this situation?

Esther sent her answer to Mordecai. Let the young women discuss Esther 4:16.

You may wish to tell in your own words what happened when the king saw Esther (see Esther 5:1–3).

How did Esther prepare for this test of courage?

Did Esther know whether she would succeed or fail?

How do you think Esther felt after she was able to help her people?

Teacher presentation

Explain that this test of faith and courage strengthened Esther. Because she dared to try, she became one of Israel’s most beloved women.

Scripture story and discussion

If there is time, tell the story of Gideon from the Old Testament (see Judges 6–8). Gideon was a young man who lacked self-confidence and considered himself to be the least of his father’s family. One day, while he was threshing wheat, an angel came and sat under an oak tree.

The angel told Gideon that the Lord wanted him to rescue Israel from its enemies, the Midianites. Gideon asked how he could do this great task.

Ask the young women to read Judges 6:16 to discover how the Lord answered Gideon.

Explain that Gideon was so strengthened in courage that he was able to tear down the altar to Baal. Later he led his three hundred men against a host of Midianites and, like Esther, helped liberate his people.

How did these tests of faith and courage change Gideon?

Teacher presentation

Point out that the Lord promises each of us that if we have the courage to do what is right, he will be with us and we will have the strength to face daily tests and opportunities. This personal strength can help us face disappointments and have the courage to try again.

Conclusion

Quotation and discussion

Read the following statement by Elder F. Enzio Busche:

“It takes courage and commitment to follow the promptings of the Spirit because they may frighten us as they lead us to walk along new paths, sometimes paths that no one has walked before, paths of the second mile, of acting totally differently from how worldly people act. For instance, we may be prompted to smile when someone offends us, to give love where others give hate, to say thank you where others would not find anything to be thankful for, to accept jobs that others would be too proud to do, to apologize where others would defend themselves, and to do all the seemingly crazy things that the Spirit prompts a righteous, honest, listening heart to do” (“The Only Real Treasure,” New Era, Dec. 1979, p. 5).

Discuss the situations mentioned by Elder Busche. Help the young women to see the importance of courage in similar situations in their own lives.

Lesson Application

Suggest that the young women pray before trying new things. Encourage them to seek the direction of the Holy Spirit to find and experience new opportunities that will strengthen and uplift them. Suggest that they note in their journals how they felt before and after experiencing these opportunities.

Lesson 43

Righteous Living

Objective

Each young woman will recognize the feelings of individual worth that accompany righteous living.

Preparation

Before the lesson, place about one teaspoon of soil into a small glass jar. Fill the jar almost to the top with water. Place a lid on the jar and shake the mixture. Let it stand for ten minutes; then drain the water from off the top of the sediment. Fill the jar with water again and shake. Let it stand another ten minutes and again drain off top water. Repeat this process four or five times so the water on top will be fairly clear when the soil has settled to the bottom of the jar. This process removes any matter that might dissolve in the water.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Activity

Pick up the jar of water and soil that has been sitting on the table for at least ten minutes. The water should be quite clear above the settled dirt. Tell class members to watch what happens to the water when you shake the jar. The water becomes murky. Set the jar back down on the table.

Scripture

Have a young woman read Isaiah 57:20–21.

Teacher presentation

Explain that those who live by the ocean know what happens to the water in the midst of a storm. All kinds of dirt and organic materials are brought up from the depths of the sea and tossed about, casting up the “mire and dirt.” There is a restlessness and confusion as the waves toss wildly about.

Discussion

To what does Isaiah liken the “troubled sea, when it cannot rest”? When God says, “there is no peace . . . to the wicked,” what kind of peace is he referring to? (Peace of mind, clear conscience.) Help the young women to understand that when a person commits sins and does not repent, he or she does not have peace. This unrest causes something to occur. What is it? Guide the discussion to include the idea that guilt and loss of feelings of self-worth are some of the results.

Teacher presentation

Explain that the loss of self-respect that wickedness brings is like a “troubled sea.” There is no peace in the life of a wicked person.

Discussion

How does wickedness contribute to a loss of self-respect?

Righteous Living Increases Feelings of Self-worth

Teacher presentation

Explain that sometimes self-worth is discussed in terms of things a person can do, such as play a musical instrument or do well in school or sports. There is one thing that everyone can do that will increase feelings of self-worth, and that is to live righteously. When a person tries to live a righteous life, she will have a calmness in her heart that can come in no other way. She will feel good about herself. One Church leader has made this statement:

Quotations

“I do not know of anything that brings more happiness than to realize that what we have done or are doing is correct and right” (Rex D. Pinegar, “What It Means to Establish a Relationship with Christ,” in Speeches of the Year, 1977 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1978], p. 91).

Another Church leader has made a similar statement:

“When a man makes war on his own weaknesses he engages in the holiest war that mortals ever wage. The reward that comes from victory in this struggle is the most enduring, most satisfying, and the most exquisite that man ever experiences” (Bryant S. Hinckley, That Ye Might Have Joy [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1958], p. 83).

Chalkboard discussion

Does righteous living mean only living without sinning?

What more does it include? (List on the chalkboard some of the ways that we live a righteous life. Some examples are: commitment to basic Christian principles such as honesty with self and others, virtue, chastity, faith, integrity, modesty, and service.)

Scripture discussion

Have the young women find and read Doctrine and Covenants 121:45. Discuss the phrase “then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God.” Help the young women understand that when they are living righteously, they will have a sense of self-worth that will enable them to stand before their parents, bishop, and Heavenly Father with a clear conscience.

Teacher presentation

Draw attention to the jar of soil and water. Point out that now it is calm; the dirt has begun to settle to the bottom, and the water is clearing.

Discussion

Discuss the calm and reassuring effects that come from living the principles of righteousness listed on the chalkboard.

Tell the following two stories to help the young women understand how peace can come from righteous living.

Story

Marie was the oldest of five children. Her mother had always depended heavily on her to help with the younger children and had expected her to be patient and loving with them from the time she was very young. Marie had grown tired of having to take so much responsibility for her brothers and sisters, especially now she was a little older and involved with many friends and activities. She began resenting her brothers and sisters and treating them badly. She yelled at them and told them to go away and leave her alone whenever they came to her for something. She no longer talked to them about their activities or even allowed them to come into her room. She started refusing to come home after school; she went to her friends’ houses instead so she wouldn’t have to take care of “those bratty kids.” Sometimes she noticed a sad and lonely look in their eyes when she would see them at the dinner table, but she didn’t allow that to change the way she was treating them.

Story

Nancy felt that one of the trials of her life was the elderly lady who lived down the street. Mrs. Smith lived alone and often needed help in her house and yard. Nancy had gone to help her a few times, but whenever she did, she not only had to do the house and yard work, but she had to listen to Mrs. Smith talk for hours. Nancy felt that going there was a waste of time, and she would much rather be with her friends. Nancy’s mother asked her to try an experiment. She asked Nancy to try going over to Mrs. Smith’s house just one afternoon a week and not only cleaning her house, but really listening to her and trying to understand the things she was saying. She said that Nancy would have to do this for only a month, and then she could quit if she wanted to. Nancy decided to try the experiment so her mother would quit bothering her about going to Mrs. Smith’s house.

The first week, she tried hard to listen to Mrs. Smith, and she found herself feeling a little sorry for the elderly woman as she realized what a hard life she had lived. The next week as she cleaned and listened, she began to realize that Mrs. Smith had learned a lot from all the experiences she had had and that she wasn’t really all that boring. By the end of the month, she not only felt love and appreciation for Mrs. Smith, but she felt important to someone who needed her very much.

Discussion

Which young woman do you think felt more peace in her life? Which one felt better about herself? Why?

What are some of the benefits of beginning early in life to live a righteous life? (We can form good habits early; have more chance for growth, development, progress, and self-respect; and have less chance to make grave mistakes that would lead to a loss of self-worth.)

The Lord Has Told Us That “Wickedness Never Was Happiness”

Note to the teacher

Pick up the glass jar of water and soil, and shake it vigorously so the water becomes dirty again. Point out that in contrast to the calm reassurance that comes to someone like Nancy who is trying to live righteously, someone who is allowing wickedness into her life is as the “troubled sea.”

Scripture discussion

Read Alma 41:10 and Galatians 6:7.

How do we feel when we do wrong? Why isn’t it a comfortable feeling? How would you describe the feeling of guilt? What happens to our feelings of self-worth when we feel guilty? Does it make a difference in the way we perceive ourselves?

Teacher presentation

Explain that the world would have us believe that we should do away with feelings of guilt instead of doing away with the sins that cause the guilt feelings.

Point out that we are all born with a sense of right and wrong. This sense is often called our conscience. “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil” (Moroni 7:16). This enables us to realize when we have made a mistake and prompts us to turn from evil.

Discussion

What happens when we ignore our conscience too often? (We become less sensitive to its promptings.)

Quotation

Elder James E. Faust said: “Some may feel that they can live by whatever standards their whim or fancy suggest. In a value-free society—free of morals, free of standards—many also live free of feelings of self-worth, self-respect, and dignity” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1981, p. 9; or Ensign, May 1981, p. 9).

Discussion

Why does the Lord say that wickedness never was happiness? In what ways do we feel more secure and comfortable when we have standards?

When Feelings of Self-worth Are Lost, They Can Be Regained

Discussion

How can we regain lost feelings of self-worth, self-respect, and dignity?

Teacher presentation

Explain that none of us grow up without doing things that are wrong. When we lose self-respect and feel guilty, we can change our personal habits and behavior through repentance. Receiving forgiveness from the Lord can make us feel better about ourselves than almost anything else.

Conclusion

Explain that repentance and forgiveness of oneself restore peace of mind and calm a person’s “troubled sea.” Point out how clear the water in the bottle can become if it is strained to remove any soil that still remains. Our own self-worth can be regained when we completely repent and regain a clear conscience.

Lesson Application

Have the young women review their own actions and determine those things they need to repent of or change in order to bring increased feelings of self-worth.

Managing Personal Resources

Lesson 44

Using Time Wisely

Objective

Each young woman will understand the importance and benefits of using time wisely.

Preparation

Bring paper and a pencil for each class member.

Display a variety of timing devices, such as an hourglass or egg timer, different kinds of clocks, a watch with a second hand, and a metronome.

Gather the following for the object lesson described in the lesson (you may want to practice the object lesson before class):

One pint jar or clear bowl.

Enough rocks (each 1 to 1 1/2 inches in diameter) to fill the pint jar.

Approximately one pint of sand, rice, or salt.

One pint of water.

Prepare two copies of the Scripture Reference List below. Put blanks in place of the words in parentheses.

Make a poster showing the efficiency expert’s advice, or write the advice on the chalkboard (see page 196).

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Object lesson

Display various timing devices.

Set a timing device such as an egg timer, a stopwatch, or an alarm clock for one minute and place it in front of the class.

Though it may seem like a long time to just sit, ask the young women to sit in silence for one minute.

Discussion

How many minutes do we probably use wisely each day? How many do we use unwisely?

What could be accomplished in ten to fifteen minutes of wisely used time?

Do you believe that you will be held accountable for your use of time?

After class members respond, indicate that there is one thing in which all people are equal: everyone has the same daily allotment of time. Each young woman is responsible for the time given her.

We Are Responsible for How We Use Our Time

Timed scripture search

Point out that the scriptures teach us to make wise use of time. Divide the young women into two groups. Appoint a scribe for each group; give her a pencil and the following Scripture Reference List, replacing the words in parentheses with blanks.

Scripture Reference List

There is a (time) to every (purpose) (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

A wise (man’s heart) discerneth (time and judgment) (Ecclesiastes 8:5).

Thou shalt not (idle) away thy (time) (D&C 60:13).

They must be (judged) of their (works) . . . which were done by the (temporal body) in their days of (probation) (1 Nephi 15:32).

After the signal to start, each group should locate the references, and the scribe should fill in each blank with the proper word or words. Take no longer than three minutes. Ask the scribes to take turns reading the completed scripture statements.

Quotation

Have a class member read the following statement by President Brigham Young:

“Time is all the capital stock there is on the earth; . . . if properly used, it brings that which will add to your comfort, convenience, and satisfaction. Let us consider this, and no longer sit with hands folded, wasting time” (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1941], p. 214).

Effective Use of Time Brings Spiritual and Temporal Blessings

Discussion

Why do we sometimes use our time ineffectively?

Discuss this question in detail, asking the young women to share examples from their own lives or the lives of others. Make sure the following points are brought out in the discussion.

Make sure the following points are brought out in the discussion.

Not planning properly

Not seeing clearly what needs to be done and what is most important to do first

Procrastinating

Not organizing time or tasks

Not using proper tools or equipment or the best method to accomplish the task

Filling time with unimportant things

Explain that planning, assigning priorities, organizing, getting started, and using proper tools and methods can make life less frustrating and more productive. Wise use of time enables a person to enjoy greater spiritual and temporal blessings.

Case studies and discussion

Ask the young women to help resolve the following situations so that greater temporal and spiritual blessings result for the person in each case study.

Case Study 1

Ann, a Young Women class president and an active high school student, is taking music lessons and is the only daughter at home. Her life seems to be always in a crisis with homework, Church activity, practices, meetings, personal grooming, and home responsibilities. She never seems to find time to read the scriptures, she sometimes falls asleep during her prayers, and she is often late to meetings.

How could Ann enjoy an organized life rather than endure a chaotic one? (She should determine which things are most important and then organize her time to include prayer, daily scripture study, and other essential things.)

Case Study 2

Christine spends many hours after school tending her younger brothers and sisters. She would like to have more time to develop spiritually and to practice some homemaking skills.

How could she merge her tending responsibilities with spiritual and homemaking development? (She could teach the children gospel lessons and songs, develop a plan and teach them to cook or sew, and read the scriptures and scripture stories to them.)

Case Study 3

Lisa fulfills her Church assignments and is a good student, an efficient worker, and a helpful daughter. She spends her spare time listening to music, swimming, meditating, and daydreaming.

What do you think of the way Lisa spends her spare time? (Lisa seems to be very productive and manages her time well. Time for rest, relaxation, and recreation should be included in our scheduling. Unscheduled time is not necessarily wasted time.)

Summary quotation

Have the following quotation read:

“Mere ‘busyness’ is not necessarily evidence of the wise use of time. There should be time for mental and spiritual development as well as relaxation: time for worship and time to express our thankfulness for our ability to work, and think, and pray, and read, and help, and dream, and laugh, and plan, and learn. . . .

“The time we spend learning of our Father in heaven will bring untold blessings to us all the days of our lives” (John Longden, “Time Is of the Essence,” Improvement Era, June 1966, pp. 511–12).

Wise Use of Time Requires Planning

Object lesson

Ask the young women to enumerate activities they must pursue daily (attend school, eat, sleep, do homework, and others). As these activities are identified, place a stone for each one in a pint jar or bowl. (The bowl or jar represents a twenty-four-hour day.) Fill the jar with stones. Ask the young women to name other things they need to do each day (travel to and from school, make beds, dress, bathe, clean room, care for pets, pray, study the scriptures, prepare clothing, practice music, attend Church meetings, and others). As these other activities are identified, add sand, rice, or salt to the jar of rocks until it looks full. (The sand represents these additional activities.) Acknowledge that the young women’s lives are as full as the jar appears to be. Then add water, explaining that even during an apparently full day there is time for meditation, recreation, and other uplifting activities. (The water represents these activities.) All of us should strive for a proper balance in the use of our time. Accomplishing all we need and desire to do takes careful planning.

Story

“Once an efficiency expert approached the president of a large steel corporation and outlined his firm’s services. ‘No use,’ the president responded, ‘I’m not managing as well as I know how now. We need action, not more knowing. If you could get us to do what we know we should, I’ll pay you anything you ask.’

“‘Fine,’ answered the consultant. ‘I can give you something in a few minutes to increase your doing and action fifty percent. First, write on a blank sheet the six most important tasks you have to do tomorrow. Second, put them in the order of their importance. Third, pull this sheet out the first thing tomorrow morning and begin working on item one. When you finish it, tackle item two, then item three. Do this until quitting time. Don’t worry if you finish only two or three or even if you finish only one item. You’ll be working on the most important ones. Fourth, take the last five minutes of each working day to make out a “must” list for the next day’s tasks.’

“Reportedly, the president sent the consultant $25,000 for the idea, $1,000 for each of the twenty-five minutes spent in the visit” (Teacher Development Program—In-service Series 2, 1971–72, Participant Materials, p. 58).

Poster or chalkboard discussion

Display the poster summarizing the efficiency expert’s advice, or refer to it on the chalkboard.

Efficiency Expert’s Advice

Write down the most important tasks to be performed.

Number these in order of importance.

Begin working on number one in the morning.

When number one is completed, go to number two and so forth.

Each evening, make a new list to be used the next day.

How can our Heavenly Father be involved in this plan? (We should ask for his help in the use of our time and in determining priorities.)

Writing

Distribute a blank sheet of paper and a pencil to each class member. Have each young woman divide her paper into three columns, labeling the first column “Must Do,” the second “Should Do,” and the third “Would Like to Do.” Instruct the young women to write under the heading “Must Do” the things that they must do tomorrow, under the heading “Should Do” the things they ought to do, and under the heading “Would Like to Do” the things that they would enjoy doing for pleasure. These are similar to the things identified in the object lesson with the rock, sand, and water. Ask the young women to number the items in the last two columns in order of their importance, since these are the activities they can control.

Lesson Application

Have the young women look critically at the important items they have identified and consider how they can use their time more efficiently to accomplish the most important activities in the last two columns. Suggest that they follow the efficiency expert’s procedure for two weeks. Provide time for them to report on their success in two weeks.

Encourage the young women to kneel and approach the Lord in prayer every morning. They could talk to him about their duties and priorities for that particular day, ask for help and inspiration in performance, and then report the results to him at night.

Suggested Activities

With approval of the bishop or branch president, invite a well-qualified person (for example, a college student, a young mother, or some other member of your ward who is especially well-organized) to share tips on how to make effective use of time.

Lesson 45

The Value of Work

Objective

Each young woman will appreciate the value of work.

Preparation

Assign a young woman to talk about the work she is involved in and another young woman to talk about a service project as described in the lesson.

Optional: Have hymnbooks available so the young women can sing hymn no. 252, “Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel.”

Optional: Prepare a rock with the word work written on it for each young woman.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Work Is an Essential Part of the Gospel Plan

Ask the young women to listen as you say several words and to raise their hands to show which words bring positive feelings to them. Say these words—vacation, job, relax, work—pausing after each to note the responses.

Point out that the idea of work does not always seem appealing to us. But the ability and opportunity to work can actually bring us great blessings.

Discussion

How would your life today be different if your parents had never been willing to do any work in your behalf?

What would the Church be like today if the early members of the Church had not been willing to work?

Scripture

Read together Moses 5:1 and Exodus 20:9.

Quotations

Explain that latter-day prophets have taught us to be industrious, independent, and self-sustaining. Read the following statement:

“No true Latter-day Saint, while physically or emotionally able will voluntarily shift the burden of his own or his family’s well-being to someone else. So long as he can, under the inspiration of the Lord and with his own labors, he will supply himself and his family with the spiritual and temporal necessities of life” (Spencer W. Kimball, in Conference Report, Oct. 1977, p. 124; or Ensign, Nov. 1977, pp. 77–78).

When the Church’s present-day welfare program was introduced, the First Presidency stated: “Our primary purpose [is] to set up, in so far as it might be possible, a system under which the curse of idleness would be done away with, the evils of a dole abolished, and independence, industry, thrift and self-respect be once more established amongst our people. The aim of the Church is to help the people to help themselves. Work is to be re-enthroned as the ruling principle of the lives of our Church membership” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1936, p. 3).

Discussion

Why should work be a “ruling principle” of our lives?

Why is idleness called a “curse”? What are “the evils of a dole”?

How are we blessed as we practice the principle of work? (Write class members’ responses on the chalkboard. Add the following blessings if they are not mentioned: independence, industry, thrift, and self-respect.)

Ask the young women if any of them have ever been so ill they could do nothing. If this were extended to a lengthy period of time, how might they feel if they were unable to accomplish even the smallest of tasks in caring for themselves?

Teacher presentation

One young woman who had recovered after being confined to her bed an entire summer for a serious illness vowed never again to complain at having to get up in the morning. She was so grateful to have the use of her arms and legs again to perform their necessary work.

Explain that one of the most important parts of achieving happiness is developing the habit of working willingly. Our work can be satisfying, interesting, challenging, mentally uplifting, demanding, and creative. It need not be monotonous, dull, wearisome, confining, or without challenge. Our attitude will determine which of these points of view we accept. One woman learned this important lesson as illustrated in the following story:

Story

“Seven years ago, Ann Clynick started a babysitting service in her home to stave off the prospect of having to get a full-time job outside her home.

“With four toddlers at home and one child in school at the time, and financial burdens pressing on the family, she said the question wasn’t whether she would work or not, but only what kind of work she should do. . . .

“While the plan solved [the problem of being home with her children], it soon created another.

“‘I hated it,’ she said. ‘I found myself working 60 hours a week taking care of other people’s children. I never babysat as a teenager. In fact, I didn’t enjoy being with children, other than my own. And I resisted the situation more because I felt I was being forced into it. It was discouraging.

“‘But I couldn’t quit and I wouldn’t go out to work.’

“For the first two years, she simply suffered through each day, trying to sandwich multiple diaper changes between housecleaning and cooking, along with the challenge of channeling the energies of 10 children—her own and six others.

“‘One day I read an article by a General Authority telling of a man who visited a scrub woman who had the boring task of scrubbing a set of stairs . . . every day.

“‘When the woman complained about the monotony of her life, the man explained that if he had the job he would try to make it more interesting by finding out everything about it. . . .

“‘What that story did to me was make me realize that it’s your attitude toward what you do that is important, not necessarily the job itself,’ said Sister Clynick.

“‘From that time on, I decided to learn everything I could about taking care of children.’ . . . She enrolled in [many] classes. . . . She now has her program so developed that she has a full curriculum for the children planned a year in advance. There is a waiting list for her services. . . .

“‘So what has happened is that in the past seven years, I feel I’ve been able to do something that I hated and was boring, just by changing my attitude,’ Sister Clynick said. . . .

“‘I’ve learned things, I’ve grown and I enjoy what I do’” (John Forster, “Attitude—Not Necessarily Job Itself—Is Important,” Church News, 29 May 1982, p. 12).

Discussion

Ask the young women if any of them have had a similar experience they would like to share.

How could this experience apply to required school classes, housework, part-time jobs, or Church assignments that may not seem interesting? How does our attitude influence how we perform our work? What are some rewards of work well done?

Quotation

Read the following statement:

“Do not ever look down on those who labor in occupations of lower income. There is great dignity and worth in any honest occupation. Do not use the word menial for any labor that improves the world or the people who live in it.

“There is no shame in any honorable work” (Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Apr. 1982, p. 121; or Ensign, May 1982, p. 84).

Work Is Important to Our Temporal, Social, and Spiritual Well-Being

Story

A traveler once approached a stream that lay in his pathway. A stranger appeared and told him that if he would pick up some pebbles and put them in his pocket, when he reached his destination, he would feel both sad and glad. He did as the stranger told him and rode on. Upon arriving at the next village, he took the pebbles from his pocket and to his astonishment found that they had turned into precious gems. He then knew what the stranger had meant. He felt sad that he had not picked up more pebbles, but glad that he picked up as many as he had.

Chalkboard discussion

Draw circles representing pebbles on the chalkboard. Circle the words already on the chalkboard from your previous discussion, including independence, industry, thrift, and self-respect. As additional points are covered in the following discussion, write them in the open circles. A sample illustration is shown below:

security

family

prestige

achievements

friends

testimony

industry

thrift

self-respect

wealth

independence

If this traveler were each of you at the end of your life, what might the pebbles symbolize to you? (Add answers to the chalkboard.)

What are some goals you want to achieve? What are some qualities and possessions you would like to acquire during your life? (Add answers to the chalkboard.)

How might you feel later in life if you do not take advantage of the opportunities to pick up all the “pebbles” you want?

Poem

Another way of expressing this idea follows:

For of all sad words of tongue or pen

The saddest are these: “It might have been!”

(John Greenleaf Whittier, “Maud Muller,” in A Treasury of the Familiar, ed. Ralph L. Woods [New York: Macmillan Publishing Co., 1942], p. 236.)

Teacher presentation

Point out that unfortunately many people do not reach their goals or achieve what they set out to do simply because they are not willing to work or do not work hard enough. They are not willing to “pay the price” for the happiness they could have. Many people do not understand that they can, without magic, change their wishes into reality—by working for them.

Quotation

Read the following statement:

“There is no royal road to any learning, no matter what it is. . . . There is no royal road to anything that is worthwhile. Nothing that is deserving of earning or of cherishing comes except through hard work. I care not how much of a genius you may be, the rule will still hold” (J. Reuben Clark Jr., as quoted in Vital Quotations, comp. Emerson Roy West [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1968], pp. 401–2).

Teacher presentation and chalkboard

Point out that we can measure the good results of work in three general areas. Under the “pebbles” on the chalkboard, draw three lines and leave them blank, as shown on page 201. As the discussion progresses, fill in the blanks with the words temporal, social, and spiritual.

security

family

prestige

achievements

friends

testimony

industry

thrift

self-respect

wealth

independence

Write the word temporal in the first blank. Explain that work is required for our survival.

Quotation

“All we obtain in life of a material nature comes as a product of labor and the providence of God. Work alone produces life’s necessities” (Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1980, p. 45; or Ensign, Nov. 1980, p. 32).

Teacher presentation

Explain that we know work also has monetary value. We are usually paid or rewarded according to our skill, efficiency, and dependability.

Discussion

What steps do we need to take now for our future temporal welfare?

What attitudes could prevent us from learning to work to care for our own temporal needs?

How can the willingness to work help you in your schoolwork and in your family life?

Class member report

Have the assigned young woman tell about some work she does. Where did she learn how to do her work? How does she enjoy it? How is she improving or adding to her skills?

Quotation

In a talk to college students, Elder Dallin H. Oaks, then Brigham Young University president, emphasized the need for students to learn to work and discipline themselves.

“There are few things that give me more pain than to see young men and women who do not realize their potential, who do not . . . discipline themselves into the work necessary to acquire the skills and learning characteristic of a good education. There is too much indolence, too much watching of television, too much sunning on the lawn, too much seeking after pleasure, too much dependence upon the opinions and work of others, too little self-reliance” (Dallin H. Oaks, “The Formula for Success at BYU,” Speeches of the Year, 1979 [Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1980], p. 169).

Discussion

Discuss the deterrents to work mentioned by President Oaks.

How can we discipline ourselves to do better work in school? What is indolence?

What are some habits and attitudes that would keep us from wasting our potential?

Chalkboard

Write the word social in the second blank.

Scripture discussion

Read and mark the following scriptures: Doctrine and Covenants 68:31; 42:42; 75:29.

How can idleness lead people into sinful practices? Discuss the effects of idleness on an individual, a family, and a community.

Quotation

Have someone read Elder Neal A. Maxwell’s comment about our social responsibility to work:

“If we learn to work early in life we will be better individuals, better members of families, better neighbors, and better disciples of Jesus Christ, who Himself learned to work as a carpenter” (“Gospel of Work,” Friend, June 1975, p. 7).

Discussion

How can our willingness to work bless the lives of other members of our family? Of our friends at school? Of people in our community?

Class member report

Have the assigned young woman report on her feelings about a service project. What work was accomplished? How did it help others? How did they respond? How did she feel?

Teacher presentation

Emphasize that a healthy society depends on the willingness of its members to make a contribution through their work. We cannot fulfill our roles as students, missionaries, leaders, parents, and citizens unless we learn to work.

Chalkboard

Write the word spiritual in the third blank.

Teacher presentation

Point out that Adam and Eve found the Lord had cursed the earth for their sake (see Moses 4:23).

Discussion

Why would the cursing of the land actually benefit Adam and Eve? What characteristics would the need to work produce in them?

What happens to our souls when we work? When we don’t work?

Scripture discussion

Read together Doctrine and Covenants 75:3–5. What does the Lord tell us to do? What will be our reward?

Conclusion

Quotation

“We are cocreators with God. He gave us the capacity to do the work he left undone, to harness the energy, mine the ore, transform the treasures of the earth for our good. But most important, the Lord knew that from the crucible of work emerges the hard core of character” (J. Richard Clarke, in Conference Report, Apr. 1982, pp. 109–10; or Ensign, May 1982, p. 77).

Optional hymn

Sing or read all verses of “Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel” (Hymns, no. 252).

Lesson Application

If you brought rocks with the word work written on them, give one to each young woman. Encourage class members to improve their work skills and their attitude about work.

Lesson 46

The Purpose and Value of Education

Objective

Each young woman will understand the purpose and value of education throughout her life.

Preparation

Picture 20, young woman in a vocation; picture 21, young mother helping her children read; picture 22, young woman teaching in a Church meeting. All are located at the back of the manual.

Prepare three wordstrips that say “In a vocation,” “In the home,” and “In the Church and community.”

Optional: Prepare a display of educational materials such as school textbooks, scriptures, music books, and a ruler.

Review the counsel about education on page 9 of For the Strength of Youth.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Story

Jeffrey R. Holland, while president of Brigham Young University, told this story:

“I’d like to tell you a true story about a young boy who didn’t have the opportunity of going to school for very long. His father died, leaving little money for the boy’s family. One day the boy became very ill with smallpox and had to miss a lot of school.

“Slowly his health improved, and he was glad to be able to go to school again. But he was back in school for just one year, completing the seventh grade, when he had to stop going altogether. He and his brother then had to find jobs to help earn enough money to buy food and clothing the family needed.

“The boy worked very hard, grew up strong, and learned a lot through his experiences. He read books whenever he could, and was interested in learning the things he had missed by not going to school. Often he would say how sad he was not to have had a formal education. He was a wonderful man and worked hard to develop himself. And he kept hoping that someday he could get back to school again. But he never had that chance. This little boy who grew up wanting to continue his schooling was my father.

“Because of my father’s experience, he was very anxious for me to have a good education. When I’d say, ‘But I don’t want to go to school,’ he’d say, ‘Then I’ll go in your place. Do you think the teacher would mind? I wonder if I can fit into the seat at your desk?’

“That always made me laugh because I think it would have frightened my teacher to see a grown man coming to school, and I knew he couldn’t fit into the small seat at my desk. So I would go to school. . . .

“Later when I had graduated from high school, served a mission, and completed my courses in college, I went on to earn a Ph.D. from a school in New England. . . .

“When I received my diploma I wanted my father to have it. He had never received a graduation diploma from any school and I thought he deserved this one. I told him that although my name was on it, the diploma should really be awarded to him. I told him they probably just made a mistake in the printing. That made him laugh and then it made him cry. I wasn’t sure then why it made him cry—but I know now” (“Do You Think I Can Fit into Your Seat?” Friend, Sept. 1978, pp. 6–7).

Discussion

Do you think this father and son had learned the value of an education? How can this example help us appreciate more fully the opportunities we have of getting an education?

We Have Been Counseled to Get an Education

Teacher presentation

Explain that we have always been encouraged by our Church leaders to get an education. The early Mormon pioneers, despite constant persecution and uprooting of their homes, continued to teach one another. Education was always a high priority. They brought with them books on many subjects, and wherever they went, they soon built schools.

Scripture and chalkboard discussion

Have the young women turn to and read Doctrine and Covenants 88:118. Point out that in this scripture and in other places, the Lord has commanded us to seek learning.

What do you think the Lord wants us to learn? List the young women’s responses on the chalkboard. Then read Doctrine and Covenants 88:77–79 and add to the list those things that were not mentioned.

What subjects are you studying now that are helping you learn about the things on the list?

Quotations

Our Church leaders have continued to place a great deal of importance on education. Two of our modern-day prophets have given us this counsel:

“The Church from the beginning has been committed to the principle that ‘the glory of God is intelligence.’ (D&C 93:36.) We therefore encourage our people to study and prepare to render service with their minds and with their hands.

“Some are inclined toward formal university training, and some are inclined more toward the practical vocational training. We feel that our people should receive that kind of training which is most consistent with their interests and talents. Whether it be in the professions, the arts, or the vocations; whether it be university or vocational training, we applaud and encourage it” (Spencer W. Kimball, in Conference Report, Oct. 1977, pp. 4–5; or Ensign, Nov. 1977, p. 4).

“Education has always been recognized by the Church as the number one obligation of each generation to its successor and of each individual to himself. Each one of us is a divinely endowed, eternal, and intelligent being. It is incumbent upon us, therefore, to encourage and keep alive the questing spirit, to learn and continue to learn everything possible about ourselves, our fellowmen, our universe, and our God” (Hugh B. Brown, in Conference Report, Apr. 1968, p. 101; or Improvement Era, June 1968, p. 34).

Education Can Be of Benefit throughout Our Lives

Chalkboard discussion

Explain that an education opens many doors both in our temporal and spiritual pursuits.

How can an education help us throughout our lives?

Write the class members’ responses on the chalkboard. Make sure the following points are discussed.

Picture and wordstrip

Post the wordstrip “In a vocation” and display the picture of the young woman in a vocation. Explain that education provides us with a skill or vocation that will help us obtain meaningful employment. This is important for young women as well as young men, as is pointed out in the following statement:

Quotation and discussion

“There are impelling reasons for our sisters to plan toward employment. . . . We want them to obtain all the education and vocational training possible before marriage. If they become widowed or divorced and need to work, we want them to have dignified and rewarding employment. If a sister does not marry, she has every right to engage in a profession that allows her to magnify her talents and gifts” (Howard W. Hunter, Ensign, Nov. 1975, p. 124).

What are some of the reasons we should prepare for employment? How does a good education help us prepare for employment?

Why is it important to attend school regularly, study, and make plans for an education? What effect will your studying and planning now have on your future?

Picture and wordstrip

Post the wordstrip “In the home” and display the picture of a young mother helping her children read. Point out that a good education can help us be better mothers and homemakers.

Quotation and discussion

“Too great care cannot be taken in educating our young ladies. Great responsibilities will devolve upon them. To their hands will be mainly committed the formation of the moral and intellectual character of the young. Let the women of our country be made intelligent, and their children will certainly be the same. The proper education of a man decides his welfare; but the interests of a whole family are secured by the correct education of a woman” (George Q. Cannon, Gospel Truth, sel. Jerreld L. Newquist [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1974], 2:138).

How can a woman’s education benefit her family?

Picture and wordstrip

Post the wordstrip “In the Church and community” and display the picture of a young woman teaching in a Church meeting. Explain that the better prepared a woman is, the more she will be able to contribute to the Church and community. Education is one of the best ways she can prepare herself for service.

Discussion

To help the young women think about the many ways they could use their education in Church and community service, both now and in the future, ask the following questions:

How could you use your education in teaching a Primary class? In visiting teaching? In teaching an adult Sunday School class? In giving a talk in church?

How could you use your education in helping sick people? In helping people who do not have good jobs?

How could you use your education to help neighborhood children who don’t have anything worthwhile to do during summer vacation?

Ask the young women to suggest any other ways they would be better prepared to serve by receiving some education.

Conclusion

Teacher presentation

Explain that education is a vital part of our growth on earth. As we gain knowledge, we will learn to appreciate all that the Lord has provided for us. Increased knowledge and educational training will help us in every aspect of our lives and make us better able to build the kingdom of God. There is no better or more convenient time to obtain a good education than in our youth. We should take advantage of the educational opportunities available to us and search for knowledge in all areas.

Lesson Application

Encourage each young woman to make the most of the educational opportunities that are available to her. Suggest that she choose one subject in school or an aspect of the gospel that she wants to learn more about and concentrate on that topic. Ask her to report to the class or a young women leader or to write in her journal about the things she learns.

Lesson 47

Encouraging the Development of Talents

Objective

Each young woman will appreciate and encourage the development of her own talents and those of family members.

Preparation

Picture 23, Painting by Vincent van Gogh, located at the back of the manual.

Bring paper and a pencil for each young woman.

Optional: Bring items to be hidden on each class member, such as a piece of string, a needle, a safety pin, a bobby pin, a length of thread, a wire, a button, a pencil, and a hair curler. Make a list of the hidden objects for each young woman.

Assign young women to present any scriptures, stories, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction: Hidden Objects

Optional activity

Before each young woman enters the classroom, take her aside and place on her one of the objects you have brought. Place it in a visible but not very obvious place (for example, drape a thread over a young woman’s shoulder, twist a wire or slip a bobby pin through a buttonhole, tuck a pencil over an ear).

Hand each young woman a list of the objects. Instruct the young women to locate each item and to cross it off their list as they find it. Allow two minutes to silently make the search; then determine which objects were located and which were not. As the young women go down the list, naming each item and its location, remove the object from the person and put it away. Perhaps one or two will not have been found. Show where these objects are.

Discussion

Discuss how locating these objects is similar to discovering talents.

How can our talents be recognized?

How could it be possible that our talents could be in plain sight without our being aware of them?

Why might we fail to recognize a talent?

Why can we assume we all have talents?

Why are some talents hard to find?

Why should we seek until we find talents?

Teacher presentation

Point out that everyone has been given gifts or talents from our Heavenly Father. Sometimes these gifts or talents are hidden and hard to find. When a talent is found, it is important to develop it, or it may be lost.

Remind the young women that talents are not always obvious, are sometimes hard to find, and are sometimes totally ignored. But all talents can be useful and helpful to other people.

Each Receives Gifts from Our Heavenly Father

Chalkboard

Write the following thought at the top of the chalkboard and leave it there throughout the lesson: We are the spirit children of our Heavenly Father, and each of us is given a gift by the Spirit of God. Have the young women say each word aloud as you write it and then read the whole sentence in unison when it is completed.

Scripture discussion

Explain that the Lord has given much direction in these latter days concerning talents.

As you read and discuss the following four scriptures, you may wish to have the young women underline and cross-reference them.

Have a class member read Doctrine and Covenants 46:11–12. Discuss the meaning of the word gift and the reason the Lord gives us these talents.

Ask another young woman to read Doctrine and Covenants 82:18. Discuss what the Lord reveals to us in this scripture about the use of talents.

Read Doctrine and Covenants 82:2–3 and discuss how this scripture applies to our use of talents.

In Doctrine and Covenants 60:13, the Lord speaks to two early missionaries. Have class members read this scripture and discuss the similarity between idleness and burying talents.

After reading these four scriptures, how do you feel about your obligation to find, develop, and use your talents?

Teacher presentation

While you present the following situations, instruct the young women to think about some of the ways that talents are discovered.

Cynthia felt she was ready to receive her patriarchal blessing. While Brother Whittier was giving her the blessing, Cynthia listened carefully and was surprised to hear him tell her that she had a great talent for teaching.

Sara had been interested in the challenge Sister Myron had given her class to discover and begin developing their talents for service.

Michelle had taken piano lessons only two years when she was asked to be the Primary pianist. One afternoon, soon after being called to her new position, she sat at the piano and thought how much she disliked practicing. Then she remembered that when Bishop Hampton set her apart, he had promised that if she kept developing her skill at the piano, she would be able to influence many in the kingdom of the Lord through the sharing of uplifting music.

Marian’s teacher had asked her to be in charge of the class handicraft activity. Marian had never made anything in her life. To her surprise, when she started to collect ideas and make some of the crafts, she enjoyed them.

Discussion

Explore some of the ways people discover their talents. Then discuss the following questions as they pertain to your young women:

Have any of you discovered talents you didn’t know you had?

What are some talents you have recognized in yourself or in friends?

Why isn’t it enough just to discover talents?

Positive Encouragement Stimulates the Development of Talents

Picture and story

Display the reproduction of the van Gogh painting located at the end of the manual (picture 23). Then give the following biographical sketch of the artist:

Vincent van Gogh, who was born in Holland more than one hundred years ago (1853), had a very turbulent and sad life. Had it not been for his younger brother, Theo, he might not have become a famous painter. Theo believed in his brother, and this faith sustained Vincent. In addition to having confidence in Vincent’s ability, Theo provided paints, canvas, food, and lodging when the painter could not provide these for himself. Theo was constant when others had no faith in Vincent. The influence of van Gogh has been felt universally throughout the world of art. His paintings hang in many major galleries in many countries.

Note to the teacher

Be aware that the life of van Gogh was not exemplary. If a young woman mentions this fact, explain that this discussion centers around the development of his talents and the support he received, not his life in general.

Teacher presentation

Explain that we, like van Gogh, have talents that need developing, but without the help and encouragement of those around us we might never develop them.

Explain also that each of us may have a van Gogh in our family whom we could help through our support and encouragement.

Quotation and discussion

The daughter of President and Sister Harold B. Lee, Helen Lee Goates, commented:

“‘How carefully [our parents] nurtured our tender feelings about ourselves! When the early years of striving to master musical instruments brought discouragement and possible failure into view, we were reinforced regularly by the positive, firm assurance that our Daddy and Mother thought we made the most beautiful music this side of heaven. When those awkward adolescent years were upon us, with their insecurities and daily threats to self-esteem, we were constantly reminded that Mother and Daddy loved us and that they were convinced that we were the loveliest, most charming young women they had ever seen. Wise parents that they were, they must have known that if they placed those images before us, we would strive to be what they wanted us to be, and what they knew we could become’” (in Neal A. Maxwell, That My Family Should Partake [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1974], pp. 56–57).

How could young women apply this principle of positive encouragement in their relationships with other family members?

Allow class members time to discuss some of the experiences, good or bad, that they may have had with talents and family members. Try to emphasize that positive encouragement is what is needed to stimulate the development of any talent. You may want the young women to compare the van Gogh story and Sister Goates’s story to show the influence each family member can have on another’s talent.

How can your actions and attitudes at home make a difference in whether your sisters or brothers develop their talents?

Why might some people give up on developing their talents?

Activity

Distribute paper and a pencil to each young woman. Have them fold the paper lengthwise into three equal columns and print “Name of family member” at the top of the first column, “Talents” at the top of the second column, and “What can I do?” at the top of the third.

The young women should list the names of family members in the left column, leaving wide spaces between the names. Suggest that they take a few minutes to thoughtfully consider what talents the members of their families might have. Instruct them to record current and possible talents in the second column. Discuss possible ways the young women might assist family members; these should be written in the last column. Encourage the young women to use the ideas on the paper to help develop the talents of their family members.

Name of family member | Talents (current and possible) | What can I do?
Boyd | AthleticsMathematicsSinging | Exercise with him. Get him to help me with math. Praise him often when he does well. Sing with him.
Sandra | RunningSewingDrawing | Help time her runs. Praise her sewing, running, and drawing. Help her when she asks for help.

Conclusion

Discussion

If a member of your family were to help you accomplish something you had always dreamed of, what effect might it have on your feelings toward that person?

Discuss how we can benefit from each other’s talents. Have the young women share any experiences they may have had where someone in the family has helped develop the talent of another.

Teacher presentation

Explain that most of us underestimate the power for good that a person possesses. If we dedicate ourselves to helping family members find and develop their talents, we will discover that our love for them will grow and develop along with their talents. We will learn that there are many kinds of talents and that they are not always easy to find, but if we persevere, we will succeed and help family members succeed and be happy.

Developing Leadership Skills

Lesson 48

Short-Range Goals as Stepping Stones

Objective

Each young woman will understand how setting short-range goals can help her to achieve long-range goals.

Preparation

Bring paper and pencils for the young women.

Prepare the handout as suggested in the second section of the lesson, or write the illustration on the chalkboard.

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Suggested Lesson Development

Introduction

Activity

Ask the young women to imagine that it is five years from now. Tell them to think for a minute or two about what they would like to be doing and the person they would be if their highest hopes came true. Ask them to be sure the goals they describe are specific and personal, such as: “I want to be married in the temple; I want to have graduated from college; I want to be a teacher (secretary, doctor, and so on).” After they have had a few minutes to think, ask them to write these goals down on a piece of paper. Then ask the young women to write at least three of the most important things they can be doing to help them reach their goals.

Explain that these three things are short-range goals, or stepping stones, that will lead to the accomplishment of the long-range goals. An old Chinese proverb makes this point: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Ask one or two young women to share a long-range goal with the class and their stepping stones (short-range goals) that will lead to it. Write these on the chalkboard, with the long-range goal at the top and the short-range goals underneath.

Setting Goals Can Help Us Progress

Teacher presentation and discussion

Explain that setting goals can help us achieve our desires.

Why is just wishing we could achieve something not usually enough to motivate us to progress?

Point out that goals give us something specific and attainable to strive for. They provide a path for us to follow. Read the following statement:

Quotation

“No plan. No objective. No goal. The road to anywhere is the road to nowhere, and the road to nowhere leads to dreams sacrificed, opportunities squandered, and a life unfulfilled” (Thomas S. Monson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1976, p. 73; or Ensign, Nov. 1976, p. 51).

Teacher presentation

The process of setting goals can be an important way of progressing throughout our lives. Now is a good time to learn how to direct our energies by setting and achieving worthwhile goals.

Handout or chalkboard illustration

Give each class member a handout with the following illustration, or refer to the illustration on the chalkboard. Review each step of the goal-setting process:

Step 1: Evaluate (decide what needs to be done). Make a list of the things you would like to know, qualities and abilities you would like to develop, and things you want to accomplish in your life.

Step 2: Plan (what to do and when). Write down the goal and how you plan to reach it. Remember, a goal not written down is merely a wish. If you want to, choose a parent, friend, or leader to whom you will report the progress you make. Set a time to complete your goal and dates along the way to check your progress.

Step 3: Act on the plan. If the goal is something you can do by yourself, do it! If you need help, ask someone to help you complete your goal.

Step 4: Report on progress and results. Meet with the person to whom you chose to report your progress. Tell what you have done and check your progress. Some of your goals may be confidential. You can check yourself or report them to Heavenly Father in prayer.

Explain that after completing step 4, a person begins the process again by evaluating what she would like to do next.

Story

The teacher and class members of a Young Women class were concerned about one of the members of their class. They chose as a class goal to try to help Cheryl become active in the Church by the end of the school year. They knew this would probably be a long-range goal, as she had come to class only two times in three years. They set some short-range goals and planned to report their progress to their teacher. Their goals were (1) to get Cheryl to come to one of their activities and (2) to get her to come to a Sunday lesson. They wrote down a plan for each goal and began to take action.

The first goal was quite easy. The young women knew that Cheryl loved basketball and played on her school’s basketball team. They planned a sports night and asked Cheryl if she would come and give them some tips on playing basketball. She willingly accepted, and the activity was a great success.

The second goal was a little harder. The young women continued to be Cheryl’s friend at school. They also took her class handouts, but she still seemed uncomfortable and uninterested in coming on Sunday. Then as a class activity, the young women and their teacher went to one of Cheryl’s school basketball games to watch her play. They all cheered loudly and ran to congratulate her after the victory. The following Sunday, Cheryl was at church! For the first time, she seemed to feel comfortable and laughed and talked with the young women. Class members continued their efforts and love, and Cheryl came to more and more Church meetings. In fact, Cheryl was called to serve as a member of the class presidency the next year.

Discussion

Ask the young women to briefly identify the four steps of the goal-setting process as they occurred in this story. Point out that the short-range goals were stepping stones to the long-range goal.

Evaluating Our Short-Range Goals Helps Us Measure Our Progress and Correct Our Course

Teacher presentation

Point out that periodically we need to evaluate our short-range goals to make certain they are leading us where we want to go.

Quotation

Read the following quotation:

“We should all constantly evaluate our progress. To live righteous lives and accomplish the purpose of our creation, we must constantly review the past, determine our present status, and set goals for the future. Without this process there is little chance of reaching one’s objectives” (O. Leslie Stone, in Conference Report, Apr. 1978, p. 87; or Ensign, May 1978, p. 57).

Story

Tell the following story:

Claudia had always had the long-range goal of a temple marriage, but it seemed a long way into the future. She started to date quite regularly someone who was not a member of the Church. But she didn’t see any real harm in it because he was such a nice young man. Besides, she didn’t intend their relationship to become serious. Many of their dates were planned for Sunday to accommodate his work schedule. At first, Claudia tried to attend her Church meetings too. But the meeting times didn’t always coincide with their dating plans, so she began to miss church more often. She began to participate in activities on the Sabbath that had been unacceptable to her in the past.

Claudia’s parents and bishop were concerned about her course. In an interview, her bishop asked about her long-range goals. She insisted that a temple marriage was still high on her list. Together they began to measure her progress toward that goal and evaluate the short-range goals that would lead her to it. Claudia realized that her goals of scripture study, Church attendance, and obedience to several of the Lord’s commandments were not being accomplished. Claudia’s parents and bishop helped her formulate some short-range goals that would correct her course and eventually help her reach her long-range goal of temple marriage. With courage, commitment, and the help of Heavenly Father, Claudia changed what needed to be changed at a critical time in her life. Several years later, she met a worthy young man and was married in the temple.

Discussion

What might have happened if Claudia had continued on her original course? How did she jeopardize her long-range goal of temple marriage by not considering the importance of short-range goals, such as dating only those with high standards who would respect her Church activity?

Teacher presentation

Point out how easy it is to deviate from our long-range goals if we do not take the time to evaluate and measure our progress frequently. Also, help the young women to recognize that others, such as parents or a bishop, can help them in that evaluation.

Achieving Long-Range Goals Requires Firm Commitment

Teacher presentation

Explain that we must be committed to our goals, or somewhere along the way we may deviate from our course and take the seemingly easier route.

Quotation

“Some alternatives are long and hard, but they take us in the right direction toward our ultimate goal; others are short, wide, and pleasant, but they go off in the wrong direction. It is important to get our ultimate objectives clearly in mind so that we do not become distracted at each fork in the road” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Decisions: Why It’s Important to Make Some Now,” New Era, Apr. 1971, p. 3).

Teacher presentation

Point out that we must be committed enough to sacrifice and pay the price to reach our goals. President Spencer W. Kimball’s commitment to a goal is illustrated in the following story.

Story

“After my mission I wanted to attend college, but my family could not afford to send me. So I took a job in the freight yards of the Southern Pacific Railroad in Los Angeles to earn money for school. I worked fourteen hours a day moving freight between warehouses and boxcars on a two-wheeled hand truck. Often I had a thousand-pound load on the hand truck. I’m sure you can understand why I was tired at the end of the day.

“I was living with my sister two or three miles away. The streetcar fare was ten cents, and I trudged the whole distance each way in order to save twenty cents a day. I wanted very much to go to college, and walking that distance made my goal that much nearer realization. I was able to save enough money to return to my home state of Arizona and attend the University of Arizona” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Decisions,” pp. 2–3).

Lesson Application

Encourage each young woman to set, evaluate, and commit herself to her short- and long-range goals. Suggest that she write down some new goals if necessary and accomplish them by using short-range goals as stepping stones.

Lesson 49

Delegating Responsibility to Others

Objective

Each young woman will understand the principles and steps involved in correctly delegating responsibilities to another person.

Preparation

Bring paper and a pencil for each young woman.

Assign two young women to participate in the role play of the five steps of delegation (see the second section of the lesson).

Optional: You may wish to give each young woman a copy of the five steps of delegation to take home (see pages 216–17).

Assign young women to present any stories, scriptures, or quotations you wish.

Note to the teacher

You should be thoroughly familiar with and use the five steps of delegation described in this lesson. Because skills are learned through practice, most of the time should be given to the second section of the lesson.

Suggested Lesson Development

Delegation Is an Important Principle of Leadership

Story

Ask the class members to close their eyes for a moment and picture in their minds a group of young women playing a team sport common to your area. Describe the actions of this team. For example: The captain has assigned the players, and each is playing her position. Each is playing well and following the captain’s instructions. They score, and they and the crowd are cheering and happy.

Now ask class members to imagine the same team beginning to play again. This time the captain fails to assign positions or to give specific instructions. The team members are confused as play begins, and they run in all directions. The captain is trying to play all the positions. She scores three times, but no one else has a chance to score.

Chalkboard discussion

Now have class members open their eyes and discuss the differences between how they would feel if they played on these two teams. List their responses on the chalkboard. Some of them might be as follows:

Team 1

Responsible

Helping

Free

Happy

Chance to show what I can do

Team 2

Disappointed

Wouldn’t want to play

Useless

Sad

Stifled

Which team would you rather play on? Why?

Teacher presentation

Point out that when we are in group situations where we feel useful and are able to make choices and contribute, we grow and feel happy. A team captain, committee chairman, or any leader who helps us have these feelings is making wise use of an important leadership principle. Ask the young women if they can name this principle. Write the word delegation on the chalkboard.

When we delegate, we share our work or responsibility with other people and give them authority to act for us.

Scripture quiz

Use the following scriptures to help the young women learn how the Lord applies the principles of delegation. Ask the questions one at a time, giving the appropriate scripture reference. Have class members find the scripture, read it silently, and tell how it answers the question.

Or, you could give the scriptural reference and have a scripture chase. Ask the question and let the girls try to find the answer from the scriptures. You could give clues if necessary.

What is our Heavenly Father’s work? (Moses 1:39)

With whom does he share this work? (John 6:38)

To whom did the Savior delegate authority? (Ephesians 4:11–12)

When someone delegates responsibility to us, what do we need to do? (D&C 107:99–100)

After the Apostles returned from their assignments, what did they do? What must we do? (Mark 6:30)

Explain that our Heavenly Father and the Savior consistently use the principle of delegation. This principle helps us grow, allows us to use our agency and talents, and requires us to take responsibility for our actions.

We Can Learn to Delegate Effectively by Using Specific Steps

Chalkboard and role play

Explain that we can all learn the principle of delegation and use it successfully. Ask the assigned class members to present the role play. Write each of the following steps on the chalkboard, and have the young women demonstrate them one at a time.

Step 1: Clearly define the assignment.

Class President: Ann, we have been concerned about the Beehives who are just coming into Young Women. We want to know them better and help them feel welcome and comfortable. We would like you to be in charge of a class activity to help our class get acquainted with these new girls. It has been scheduled for three weeks from now on the 28th.

Step 2: Describe the importance of the assignment and express confidence.

Class President: If the new Beehives don’t feel welcome and wanted, they may look for friends in other places. Ann, you have a special way of relating to people and getting things done. We know you can help us with an activity to make these girls feel wanted and comfortable.

Ann: [Responds favorably]

Step 3: Establish who will do what and when it will be finished.

Class President: The activity is only three weeks away. What do you think needs to be done, Ann?

Ann: [Responds naturally to the question]

Class President: Which of those do you think needs to be done first?

Ann: [Responds naturally]

Class President: How soon do you think you could do that?

Ann: [Responds naturally]

Class President: When should we have the other things done?

Ann: [Responds naturally]

Class President: Who can you ask to help you?

Ann: [Responds naturally]

Class President: What will you have each person do?

Ann: [Responds naturally]

Class President: Let’s both write that down so we won’t forget.

Step 4: Decide when you will follow up on the assignment.

Class President: I’ll check with you a week from today, and if anything changes or you need something before then, please let me know.

Step 5: Express encouragement and thanks.

Class President: Ann, I’m so pleased with your plans for the activity. I’ve heard the new Beehives talking, and they are really excited to come. I’m grateful for your work. When I ask you for help, I know I can depend on you.

Discuss questions or comments the young women might have. Emphasize the importance of step 3, letting the person suggest exactly what she will do by when. This is the person’s commitment to accept the responsibility. The leader needs to follow up carefully by continuing to ask what the person is doing and when the job will be done. Delegation can sometimes be misused if a person is simply trying to get out of doing her own work. It could also be misused if an assignment were delegated and the leader did not have the patience or trust to see it through and decided to do it herself. Caution the young women against such misuse.

Delegating Responsibility Can Be Helpful in Many Situations

Class activity in groups or pairs

Now that the young women have seen the role play, assign them to practice delegating responsibility to each other, using one of the following situations or others you might choose. Ask class members to follow the steps listed on the chalkboard.

Your class has been asked to read to a blind widow who lives in the ward. You are to go twice a week for one hour. Assign a class member to be in charge of this project and organize the visits.

A youth conference is planned for your area six weeks from now. The theme is “Let Me Soar.” Assign someone to be in charge of the publicity for this event.

You are the president of the school choir. There are four sections to the choir. The president is responsible for keeping track of the music—distributing, collecting, and making sure it is all there when the choir sings at other schools. Assign a member of the choir to devise a way to keep track of the music and to present her idea to the choir at the next practice.

You are the oldest child in your family. An emergency has come up, and your mother and father have left you for three days to be in charge of your three sisters—ages eight, nine, and twelve. You need time to study for midyear tests at school. How would you delegate the responsibility of getting meals, dishes, and other household chores done?

Observe as class members practice; give help as necessary. If time permits, one pair could demonstrate their assignment for the entire class. Let the young women suggest other situations (such as church, family, school, and job) where knowing how to delegate could be helpful.

Lesson Application

Give each young woman a pencil and a piece of paper. Have them list various responsibilities they have. Ask them to analyze their lists and see if they could use the principles of delegation with one of their responsibilities. Have them try to use the five steps during this week.

Lesson 50

To the Young Women Adviser: Organizing Lessons from General Conference Addresses

The words of living prophets are excellent resources for additional lessons. Select current conference addresses printed in the Ensign and Liahona magazines. Preparing and presenting these lessons will give you opportunities to be directed by the Spirit in addressing specific needs of class members. The young women should be notified in advance which addresses will be taught so they will be prepared for discussion. In developing these lessons, use the scriptures with the conference addresses.

Preparing and Presenting the Lessons

Prayerfully discern what gospel principle or main idea is taught in the selected address. Outline two or three supporting ideas that contribute to the main idea.

Decide what you want to accomplish as a result of the lesson. For example, do you want to help class members understand a principle, increase in faith, develop an attitude, or be motivated to change their behavior?

Organize the lesson materials. Use the Topical Guide in the Latter-day Saint edition of the Bible to locate additional scripture references. Ask the meetinghouse librarian for appropriate visuals.

Prepare questions about selected quotations and scriptures in the address. What do the quotations and scriptures mean? Liken them to the young women (see 1 Nephi 19:23).

Select teaching methods that will involve the young women, and assign class members to participate. Refer to Teaching, No Greater Call (36123) for explanations of teaching methods.

Chart

The following chart may be useful when preparing a lesson from a conference address.

Title of the address:

Gospel principle or main idea:

Supporting ideas:

Suggested Organization
Suggested Teaching Methods

Introduce the gospel principle and supporting ideas.

Write the gospel principle and supporting ideas on the chalkboard. Use an object lesson, story, picture, scripture, or thought-provoking question to introduce the lesson.

Present the body of the lesson.

What has the Lord said about the gospel principle?

What have the prophets said about it today?

How can we apply the gospel principle to our daily lives? How can living this principle increase our faith and help us make righteous decisions and solve our problems?

Locate and discuss scriptures within the talk and any additional scriptures to clarify the gospel principle.

Ask questions about quotations from the talk. Relate stories and examples from the talk to illustrate the gospel principle.

Ask questions and direct discussions that will help the young women apply the gospel principle to their lives.

Invite class members to share experiences, feelings, and testimonies about the topic you are discussing. Add your own feelings.

Conclude by summarizing what has been taught.

Testify of the truthfulness of the gospel principle you have taught and of its value in your life.